complacent
To anyone walking by I am any other college student. And when I think about it, I feel that I really have become the pinnacle of college student stereotypes. Just like in those newsweek articles where they dissect the outward appearance of "tweens", like their some different species.
Today, I walked through campus in jeans I've owned since junior year of high school, slightly stretched and worn, but not in the way the seventy dollars a pair preppy chains market; a tight dark teal hoodie that cost me 15 dollars at H & M; a Steve and Barry's University Store black zip-up fleece jacket from the kid's department, size 14-16, for eight dollars; and black flip flops and amber sunglasses I paid too much for from American Eagle. I've also taken to wearing fairly large bohemian earrings(yes, I do own a pair of big shells and wooden hoops. Though Anthony broke one of them). Sometimes I wear the garnet my mom gave me for graduation from a store in Somers and other times, I wear a Tiffany's ring my sister gave to me for my birthday(she has a matching one). In my back pocket, i have a motorola, and in my front pocket i have a nano. I got rid of my highlights and back to my roots. All I really need for makeup is some lip balm, mascara and bronzer.
Right now, I'm imposing on my scheduled and glorious nap time but since I don't have work at Javacity today, I'm okay with that. Last night, my roomate(s), Niki and Sean included, lost our voices as we watched our sixth place ranked team in the South East Conference kick UNC Ashboro's ass(a very unexpected win). That was a big pickup, because two hours before that we lost our innertube water polo game to Theta Chis(hopefully tonight will be different).
What I think makes me different it how horribly happy I am.
I've found everything I'd hoped to find here.
I have an amazing, close groups of friends. The kind that I was unable to shape myself into in high school. You shouldn't have to shape yourself into a group. You should make up a group. Something I preached but never really believed was that it's okay not to be in that clique or group; now I am completely sure that more than trying to get in, you should make that group amazing. To my friends who are still in high school, no matter what kind of stuff you're into, I'm sure you've noticed that everyone in school can be a bitch with those things except for the people who just aren't in them. And I don't mean that punks and goths and straight up Linkin Park/ICP kids(seriously, they tend to act alienated but are usually just as big and bad as the preps). I mean the ones who isolate themselves, the ones who have no one to confide in or relate too. If you can't find that group, then you should absorb all the things you love from the groups around you and be yourself because that's going to be seven hundred times more awesome than any group and standards you conform to.
But I love my friends. I love Amanda because she's so different but has the same spontaneity and ease I pride myself in. We can be completely honest with eachother. We can put out our starkly different ethics and know that at the end of the conversation we're going to love eachother more because of it. I love McCall because there is no one on earth I would've liked to room with. She may monkey jump from her lofted bed to my lowered bed; she may have amazing grades and, at times, horrible music and clothing taste (though, she has gotten into the get up kids and saves the day; and that hideous bag has been her only recent offense); she may be my financial advisor and she may get annoyed with my quips and off humor but she's awesome. Everything she's contributed to my life has made me a better person basically. Except for my new obsession with cleaning our room and Nintendo 64. And Nachos and cheese. That really hasn't helped me either. I love Bond and Ryan's. I love Brendan Byrns. I love Amish. I love drunk and puking, dependent Marcus. I love Ashley Fphister. I love Holly(the whole Gallimore family for that matter). I love all of crushes I've found on campus even though they'll never find out because my constant slurring of words, giggles and compulsive smiling hasn't seemed to tip them off(...right). I love Anthony. I love Tonya. There are a few I don't like but i learned my senior year that it's okay not to like people.
I've found a new culture. Who knew a person could find so make biscuit places within a five mile radius? My favorite club is called Arizona Pete's; consisting of hay on the floor, a mechanical bull, people who wear cowboy hats as club wear, hicks on every night other than thursday and line dancing till 12 AM. I've hung out with Holly's boyfriend and his friends in Walberg. I've learned more about dirty south rap than anyone needs to know. I've been excited over pageants. I know a lot about Ohio and Lebron James. I've found out too much about the state of Maryland(and have come to the conclusion that it's an unnecessary one. don't go there or date anyone from it). I've eaten fried okra and am pretty sure that I'm going to a rodeo pretty soon.
At the same time I've never been more happy and I guess proud to be from the north. Seeing bands like STD and TREOS play down here was surreal, as was hearing people imitate my "accent".
The greatest thing I think I've found was independence. I don't think there's any greater feeling than walking through High Point University's campus on a 70 degree day; sun shining, birds chirping and such. Knowing that I'm doing this by myself, for myself. And I'm doing it well.