i hate dreaming
so last night i had just about the worst dream i have ever had. i had a dream that kenneth cheated on me with some blonde girl...one that i have never met heres the dream
the dream: i was at his house geting ready to leave its probally about 4:30 in the morning and then i see the blonde girl getting out of her car shes dressed really slutty he gives me a hug and then says hi to her and they go in his house. well im like what the fuck was that? so i drive home go get katie we come back and wait out side of his house to see if she is still there well now its 7:30 in the morning and she is still there. i was livid. so katie and i leave and go get gas at the gas station and katie is trying to put gas in but cant do it and it spills all over the ground so then one of the guys that works there comes out and says oh dont worry ill get it for you so he pumps our gas and asks if he have a couple qurters because thats how much it cost. and we asked why and he said because he paied for it. so we said thanks and then he said but i would really like your number. so katie gave him her fake number and then i gave him a fake number and we left. we went home and then i went to work. there was a random battle of the bands at work and there like a hostileness going on between me and this other band leader...and i had sold some shirts and then i left and went home. kenneth came and got me and we were driving to his house and i said to him so who was that girl? and he said just a friend and i was like oh ok...and i said how long did she stay? he said untill he had to go work and then i asked him if anything happened with her ilke did he cheat on me and he said no they just cuddled. and i started crying and said oh just cuddling huh...well if i did that with some guy you would break up with meand he said yeah so. so then we got to his house and i was still pissed and said well did anything else happen? and he said no. and so i said im gonna go talk to this girl and ask her why she would ever do something like that because she knew i was his girlfriend. and so i went and talked to her and she said look you need to talk to him about this because he was the one who wanted me to come over and he was the one who said yeah do it and he was the one who let me so the things i did. and so i went back into his room and she came with me and i said did u guys kiss? and he said yes and i yelled at her why cant you kiss your own boyfriend? and then i left and layed out front of his house on his drive way crying and then he opened the door and i went to talk to his and he just threw all my stuff at me and locked the door.
i woke up from that dream tramatized and crying. like it was the most real dream i have ever expirenced and i dont ever want to dream again. i would have rather died in a dream than have gone through that. and i really dont want to be one of thoes pyscotic girlfriends who wants to know where he boyfriend is all the time and what he is doing because i know he would never do anything like that to hurt me. i just dont want it to have any effects on how i think or anything i do now. but it was so tramatizing...that like the slightest thing will bring it up even if i dont think about it. ok so thats really all im trying to be ok but maybe im just crazy?
ok love you
sara
the dream: i was at his house geting ready to leave its probally about 4:30 in the morning and then i see the blonde girl getting out of her car shes dressed really slutty he gives me a hug and then says hi to her and they go in his house. well im like what the fuck was that? so i drive home go get katie we come back and wait out side of his house to see if she is still there well now its 7:30 in the morning and she is still there. i was livid. so katie and i leave and go get gas at the gas station and katie is trying to put gas in but cant do it and it spills all over the ground so then one of the guys that works there comes out and says oh dont worry ill get it for you so he pumps our gas and asks if he have a couple qurters because thats how much it cost. and we asked why and he said because he paied for it. so we said thanks and then he said but i would really like your number. so katie gave him her fake number and then i gave him a fake number and we left. we went home and then i went to work. there was a random battle of the bands at work and there like a hostileness going on between me and this other band leader...and i had sold some shirts and then i left and went home. kenneth came and got me and we were driving to his house and i said to him so who was that girl? and he said just a friend and i was like oh ok...and i said how long did she stay? he said untill he had to go work and then i asked him if anything happened with her ilke did he cheat on me and he said no they just cuddled. and i started crying and said oh just cuddling huh...well if i did that with some guy you would break up with meand he said yeah so. so then we got to his house and i was still pissed and said well did anything else happen? and he said no. and so i said im gonna go talk to this girl and ask her why she would ever do something like that because she knew i was his girlfriend. and so i went and talked to her and she said look you need to talk to him about this because he was the one who wanted me to come over and he was the one who said yeah do it and he was the one who let me so the things i did. and so i went back into his room and she came with me and i said did u guys kiss? and he said yes and i yelled at her why cant you kiss your own boyfriend? and then i left and layed out front of his house on his drive way crying and then he opened the door and i went to talk to his and he just threw all my stuff at me and locked the door.
i woke up from that dream tramatized and crying. like it was the most real dream i have ever expirenced and i dont ever want to dream again. i would have rather died in a dream than have gone through that. and i really dont want to be one of thoes pyscotic girlfriends who wants to know where he boyfriend is all the time and what he is doing because i know he would never do anything like that to hurt me. i just dont want it to have any effects on how i think or anything i do now. but it was so tramatizing...that like the slightest thing will bring it up even if i dont think about it. ok so thats really all im trying to be ok but maybe im just crazy?
ok love you
sara