well...
that whole business seems to have ended quickly... probably my fault, or at least, it's easier to just blame myself at this point.
i'm starting to get very tired of being here very quickly.
i'm lonely. most of my friends are gone. i'm starting to feel like i'm pushing back towards a bad cycle, and it's a good thing i'm actually noticing that for once... but the problem now is, i don't know what to fucking do about it. i feel so stagnant... like i'm not going anywhere or doing anything. and i could move... i could very easily move! but where is honestly going to be better than here? i don't really fucking know anyone anywhere else... so i'm just going to be feeling the same way PLUS experiencing painfully high anxiety to top it all off. i feel like i'm trapped and i hate it. i'm so sick of being bored. i'm tired of stupid dollarama. the only thing i'm really enjoying is working at the office... mostly because the people are nice and it takes up my time. time consumption is also the only reason i stay at dollarama. the rest of my time is spent... doing nothing! sure, i shop... i blow way too much money like this... and i read or watch t.v.
i haven't cooked in weeks. i either don't eat, or i eat out, for the most part. i honestly think the last thing i made myself was a pita with cheese and salami. i don't feel like eating most of the time.. food doesn't interest me.
I AM NOT INTERESTED IN ANYTHING. WHY AM I NOT INTERESTED IN ANYTHING? i have fucking hobbies! i seriously do! i also have a gym membership i haven't used in like THREE MONTHS! i am probably going to ottawa this weekend simply because i don't know what else to do with myself! i've wanted to burst into tears for days, and i finally did and THAT didn't even make me feel better. actually, now i just feel like a big stupid idiot. i can't do this anymore. seriously, i'm so sick of myself.
i'm starting to get very tired of being here very quickly.
i'm lonely. most of my friends are gone. i'm starting to feel like i'm pushing back towards a bad cycle, and it's a good thing i'm actually noticing that for once... but the problem now is, i don't know what to fucking do about it. i feel so stagnant... like i'm not going anywhere or doing anything. and i could move... i could very easily move! but where is honestly going to be better than here? i don't really fucking know anyone anywhere else... so i'm just going to be feeling the same way PLUS experiencing painfully high anxiety to top it all off. i feel like i'm trapped and i hate it. i'm so sick of being bored. i'm tired of stupid dollarama. the only thing i'm really enjoying is working at the office... mostly because the people are nice and it takes up my time. time consumption is also the only reason i stay at dollarama. the rest of my time is spent... doing nothing! sure, i shop... i blow way too much money like this... and i read or watch t.v.
i haven't cooked in weeks. i either don't eat, or i eat out, for the most part. i honestly think the last thing i made myself was a pita with cheese and salami. i don't feel like eating most of the time.. food doesn't interest me.
I AM NOT INTERESTED IN ANYTHING. WHY AM I NOT INTERESTED IN ANYTHING? i have fucking hobbies! i seriously do! i also have a gym membership i haven't used in like THREE MONTHS! i am probably going to ottawa this weekend simply because i don't know what else to do with myself! i've wanted to burst into tears for days, and i finally did and THAT didn't even make me feel better. actually, now i just feel like a big stupid idiot. i can't do this anymore. seriously, i'm so sick of myself.