a place to go for

[sara_q]

I called my brother the other day (Kyle) because I was not doing very well and was feeling very lost about what I was doing. We had a long conversation of which was helpful; he is good at putting things in perspective for me. So later on he called me that day to tell me that he would love me no matter what I did. I thank him. He said it a few times and I kept thanking him. I think I am afraid that I will not be loved. I was afraid to do something that would make my family unhappy because that might mean they would stop loving me.

I was thinking about all of this after talking to my brother and realizing just how crazy that I thought that was. My family is very close and open to use all being different. There are many things that if my family learned about they may not be thrilled about but they would still love me. For some reason this whole thing and then seeing my Mom seamed to really make me see what it is that I need to do.

I am known living my life. I am going to do what is best for me. So I know have a plane and some goals for myself of which I am writing so they will happen.

I am going back to school for Illustration
I am taking batter care of my body/ eating better and working out
I am going to go on a car trip with no ending place in mind
I am going to draw every day
I am going to work on a piece of artwork every other day
I am going to live now and not worry about the future
I am going to be smarter with my money
I am going to think about what I want before what others may want.

So I have been doing all most all of these. I feel really good about it. I just have to keep it going.