Hmm..
so this is random and stupid, but i'm pissed (sorta) so i'm going to bitch as usual. dkjfkdsl i slightly hate, well actually miss is the more appropriate word, not having a boyfriend. and it's been sooo long since i did have one. i'm bored of things now. i want to meet new boys and hang out with boys and make out with boys. but then i'm going to contradict myself because i don't want to be with just any random guy. i want something real. and i know i'm young, fickle and stupid, and i am aware of how hard it is to find something stable at this point in my life, but i can't see why people would go into a relationship knowing it isn't going to last. don't you think that's a waste of time? or maybe it isn't a waste of time to some people? maybe people take pleasure out of breaking other people's hearts? i know i don't. i'm stressed, i think? and i hateee seeing couples all over the place. it's like a constant reminder that i suck and i don't have a boyfriend (no offense maggie.. you're still my #1 lover). sometimes i think it's my appearance, maybe i come off bitchy? or maybe i'm not pretty? or maybe it's that when a guy does approach me and is interested and asks for my number, i laugh in his face or scribble down a fake one. don't get me wrong, i'm completely aware of how picky i am and how high my standards are. actually, i think it's more so that i compare everyone to anyone in the past. and i shouldn't. i know i shouldn't, but i do. and i don't know if i want to meet someone similiar to what i like or if i would be better off meeting someone opposite what i'm used to. this is longer then i thought it would be, but i have a lot on my mind. on another note.. i am kind of talking to this guy the past week or so and things are going pretty well. it's pretty cool that i haven't fucked up anything yet. i don't want to get into too much detail about this, but yeah i don't want to get too attatched to this one though because after all his warped tour touring, he's leaving again for another 2 months. long distance? no thanks. blahhh, someone fall in love with me?