Hello
I am addicted to being hurt. At least part of me is. So what I am doing to alleviate this indulgence of mine is to make sure that I am fully aware of the mechanisms that go through my head when i begin to feel this way.
For example today I just "happened" to go to my ex-bf's new boyfriend myspace page and I casually "checked out" his pictures (probably the third time this week) and I saw that he posted one of him and my ex beau kissing each other as they looked at the camera. Sorta like "fuck you Goose, he's MINE now".
haha
of course, he probably has no idea who I am and probably doesn't give a shit about me. Or maybe he knows I used to be obsessive towards the ex. The wiener. Haha. Sausage.
Well, I am writing about it because I am trying to be aware that in order to change I am going to have to delete certain friends from certain websites (already done as we speak), move away to California (check), and find myself a hot new beau to get my mind off the old douche bag (waiting for a check).
It's so weird. I know that my ex was totally wrong for me and not the ONE as they say. But I miss the idea of having someone to get excited about. Sure, there's been more than enough flings, fleeting, passionate, some of them great, some duds, but true love? nope. At least not from my part.
it's amazing how many people have professed their love for me and I just don't want them back. I totally lose interest and think, "well I am sure there's better things out there". I am in no mood to commit to anyone, or anything, at this moment.
I am ready to lose it all and win it all.
I am ready for a new opportunity in my life. Give up friendships, make new ones, and solidify my love for my friends. My TRUE friends.
As long as I keep working out, thinking positively and expressing myself through my art, then I am sure I cannot fail.
Right?
For example today I just "happened" to go to my ex-bf's new boyfriend myspace page and I casually "checked out" his pictures (probably the third time this week) and I saw that he posted one of him and my ex beau kissing each other as they looked at the camera. Sorta like "fuck you Goose, he's MINE now".
haha
of course, he probably has no idea who I am and probably doesn't give a shit about me. Or maybe he knows I used to be obsessive towards the ex. The wiener. Haha. Sausage.
Well, I am writing about it because I am trying to be aware that in order to change I am going to have to delete certain friends from certain websites (already done as we speak), move away to California (check), and find myself a hot new beau to get my mind off the old douche bag (waiting for a check).
It's so weird. I know that my ex was totally wrong for me and not the ONE as they say. But I miss the idea of having someone to get excited about. Sure, there's been more than enough flings, fleeting, passionate, some of them great, some duds, but true love? nope. At least not from my part.
it's amazing how many people have professed their love for me and I just don't want them back. I totally lose interest and think, "well I am sure there's better things out there". I am in no mood to commit to anyone, or anything, at this moment.
I am ready to lose it all and win it all.
I am ready for a new opportunity in my life. Give up friendships, make new ones, and solidify my love for my friends. My TRUE friends.
As long as I keep working out, thinking positively and expressing myself through my art, then I am sure I cannot fail.
Right?