(no subject)
people and their little two lined entries is pissing me off.
grrr...(that's my angry growl), i hate when i don't know what you guys is talking about. i feel so left out. *tear*
okay, so i don't think i've updated in a bit, so here goes everything i can remember.
friday...work?
saturday: hmmm...waited around all day untill about 4ish for chrissy to get off work...but then went to christophers and i had so much fun just laying around talking to him for a bit...then chrissy finally called and the three of us went to mark and joels...mark left, got high, went home...good time.
sunday: stayed the night at rachels. ummm...don't remeber anythign...damn, shit, fuck...ummm..iono, monday had to wake up and took her and laura to their work, then i worked till like 11 and went back to rachels. i found my ddr game, and it still works after being in joels trunk for months..and played that for a while while rachel slept...then i got hungry so i went to find some food and made her and myself a grilled cheese sandwich. and got her some medicine cuz she didn't feel good. later she woke up and went into the tv room where i had fallen asleep and started bugging me. how rude! i let her sleep, but she has to be mean and wake me up. oh, now i remeber some of sunday night...we had these lil talks...kinda sad, but, made me happy at the same time. anyways...so we go and see devils rejects monday at carmikes cuz the rave doesn't have it...and it was fucking hilarious..well, i thought it was, in that twisted, dimented sort of way.
so, tuesday, didn't go to work, but woke up early anyways..went to rachels at like ten, but was trying to be quiet...i went in her room and got a cigarette, and then layed down with her for a bit. i was going to let her sleep, but she seemed like she was awake enough so i just asked her to get up. we sat around for a while, then she finally showered and we went to my house, and i did the same...got my check from taco hell, bought us some food from wataburger, where rachel decided to show off her mad waitressing skills by spilling a large doctor pepper all over the table. yea, real nice babe. then we go get my oil changed and some guy is like "will y'all follow me in this truck so i can take my truck to another mechanic." and us being the little retards we are were like "sure!" so i start driving this complete strangers truck and he takes us back to the mechanic. got all that stuff done and i end up being an hour late for work...which, i don't really care about anyways.
talked to jess last night...really glad i did. still confused a bit, but not so much. thanks for listening to me ramble jess.
now i'm just bored bored bored..damn, it's only 9:48, thought it was later than that.
turned in my proposal to the second damn lady here...really hoping to get that job. i'll be so f'ing happy!
like rachel said, had the prom talk. i don't know. not going to talk about it anymore, cuz, it's a long ways away, and it'll only start a conflict, and we don't need that.
was supposed to be going out w/ al on thursday but i gotta work...so i think i'll save that for satruday..cuz i don't gotta work untill ten, i think.
then sunday rachel's gonna stay the night i hope...gonna play pool and what not like we always do...and then i don't gotta work on monday, which i'm really happy about...me and rachel will actually be able to sleep in for once...yay!!!
getting schedules tomorrow...can't wait. just wanna know who i got waht classes with.
warped tour is in like, 10 days...holy hell!!!
that's fucking great. oh god, this is so exciting..and then when i get back rachel's gonna be staying with me for like two days. yah!!!
listen, i tryed calling you back last night cuz i needed to talk to you. so i'm just gonna do it via livejournal cuz i'm much better at talking this way. okay, so here it goes.
okay, i've been really scared lately...like, this is for real now, and schools starting, and you're the first girl that i've ever been with...and i'm not so sure i'm ready to flaunt my "gayness" around the school yet. you're just going to have to give me time, ya know? i just hope you understand. also, i realized...we're for real now...we've passed the whole fling stage, and we're in a real relationship now...it's kinda scary...cuz, i don't usually do the whole relationship thing..iono, i've tryed it out this year, but it wasn't for real, and you're like, the first person i've actually wanted to be with in forever. i got fucked over so bad a while ago, and i'm scared of this shit now. and i just don't want anyone to get hurt. i love you rachel, and i thought that i didn't want to be with you, but then the thought of being without you was horrible, i cryed just thinking about it. so i know that's not the case. i think i just love you so much, and i'm so scared that everything's just gonna blow up...i'm so scared i'm going to fuck this up, cuz that's what i'm used to doing...always fucking shit up...i'm just scared, cuz i just, don't want to be one of those people who spends their whole highschool with the same person, just for it to not work out in the end. that doesn't mean that i want to end this...hell no, that's not what i'm saying. i just don't want everything we have to end....and i don't ever want to be with out you. whether we're in a relationship or not, i don't want you to just all of a sudden not be in my life anymore. that's why, i'm hoping when the time comes, you break up with me. because, you said that we couldn't be friends if i broke up with you, but that we could be if you broke up with me. i don' know, i think you were being really serious about that. i love you so much.
grrr...(that's my angry growl), i hate when i don't know what you guys is talking about. i feel so left out. *tear*
okay, so i don't think i've updated in a bit, so here goes everything i can remember.
friday...work?
saturday: hmmm...waited around all day untill about 4ish for chrissy to get off work...but then went to christophers and i had so much fun just laying around talking to him for a bit...then chrissy finally called and the three of us went to mark and joels...mark left, got high, went home...good time.
sunday: stayed the night at rachels. ummm...don't remeber anythign...damn, shit, fuck...ummm..iono, monday had to wake up and took her and laura to their work, then i worked till like 11 and went back to rachels. i found my ddr game, and it still works after being in joels trunk for months..and played that for a while while rachel slept...then i got hungry so i went to find some food and made her and myself a grilled cheese sandwich. and got her some medicine cuz she didn't feel good. later she woke up and went into the tv room where i had fallen asleep and started bugging me. how rude! i let her sleep, but she has to be mean and wake me up. oh, now i remeber some of sunday night...we had these lil talks...kinda sad, but, made me happy at the same time. anyways...so we go and see devils rejects monday at carmikes cuz the rave doesn't have it...and it was fucking hilarious..well, i thought it was, in that twisted, dimented sort of way.
so, tuesday, didn't go to work, but woke up early anyways..went to rachels at like ten, but was trying to be quiet...i went in her room and got a cigarette, and then layed down with her for a bit. i was going to let her sleep, but she seemed like she was awake enough so i just asked her to get up. we sat around for a while, then she finally showered and we went to my house, and i did the same...got my check from taco hell, bought us some food from wataburger, where rachel decided to show off her mad waitressing skills by spilling a large doctor pepper all over the table. yea, real nice babe. then we go get my oil changed and some guy is like "will y'all follow me in this truck so i can take my truck to another mechanic." and us being the little retards we are were like "sure!" so i start driving this complete strangers truck and he takes us back to the mechanic. got all that stuff done and i end up being an hour late for work...which, i don't really care about anyways.
talked to jess last night...really glad i did. still confused a bit, but not so much. thanks for listening to me ramble jess.
now i'm just bored bored bored..damn, it's only 9:48, thought it was later than that.
turned in my proposal to the second damn lady here...really hoping to get that job. i'll be so f'ing happy!
like rachel said, had the prom talk. i don't know. not going to talk about it anymore, cuz, it's a long ways away, and it'll only start a conflict, and we don't need that.
was supposed to be going out w/ al on thursday but i gotta work...so i think i'll save that for satruday..cuz i don't gotta work untill ten, i think.
then sunday rachel's gonna stay the night i hope...gonna play pool and what not like we always do...and then i don't gotta work on monday, which i'm really happy about...me and rachel will actually be able to sleep in for once...yay!!!
getting schedules tomorrow...can't wait. just wanna know who i got waht classes with.
warped tour is in like, 10 days...holy hell!!!
that's fucking great. oh god, this is so exciting..and then when i get back rachel's gonna be staying with me for like two days. yah!!!
listen, i tryed calling you back last night cuz i needed to talk to you. so i'm just gonna do it via livejournal cuz i'm much better at talking this way. okay, so here it goes.
okay, i've been really scared lately...like, this is for real now, and schools starting, and you're the first girl that i've ever been with...and i'm not so sure i'm ready to flaunt my "gayness" around the school yet. you're just going to have to give me time, ya know? i just hope you understand. also, i realized...we're for real now...we've passed the whole fling stage, and we're in a real relationship now...it's kinda scary...cuz, i don't usually do the whole relationship thing..iono, i've tryed it out this year, but it wasn't for real, and you're like, the first person i've actually wanted to be with in forever. i got fucked over so bad a while ago, and i'm scared of this shit now. and i just don't want anyone to get hurt. i love you rachel, and i thought that i didn't want to be with you, but then the thought of being without you was horrible, i cryed just thinking about it. so i know that's not the case. i think i just love you so much, and i'm so scared that everything's just gonna blow up...i'm so scared i'm going to fuck this up, cuz that's what i'm used to doing...always fucking shit up...i'm just scared, cuz i just, don't want to be one of those people who spends their whole highschool with the same person, just for it to not work out in the end. that doesn't mean that i want to end this...hell no, that's not what i'm saying. i just don't want everything we have to end....and i don't ever want to be with out you. whether we're in a relationship or not, i don't want you to just all of a sudden not be in my life anymore. that's why, i'm hoping when the time comes, you break up with me. because, you said that we couldn't be friends if i broke up with you, but that we could be if you broke up with me. i don' know, i think you were being really serious about that. i love you so much.