deep in thought

[sappho_527]

so lately i've been thinking a lot about my big crush. i've been thinking that maybe i shouldn't be interested in someone right now, i should just take a break from it all...after all i go to college in a few months, why not just wait? glenn and i had a long talk on the senior trip about all of this, and i agree wiht him completely. as much as i like jessie, i know i'm wanting to rush everything just to hide the hurt from annie, and myself. plus the fact that jessie is straight...i shouldn't put her in such an awkward position; it's just wrong of me to do that. i know that she knows, because bryce told her, but now i really don't know what to do. i want to hang out with her, get to know her better in a friend type way; but now i think that she might be weirded out. bryce asked her if she felt weird, and she said no, and i haven't noticed her acting any differently towards me...so maybe she is alright with it. at the same time i'd like to get to know her better, without her thinking i'm trying to get her to like me. although that would be ideal, that's not the reason at all for me wanting to get to know her better. she's a wonderful person, and everyone knows that. i think i'm just going to invite her next weekend to the girls prom dress rugby game, because she said she wanted to go anyway, and then afterwards we can hang out with everyone else that she knows. yeah, that's a pretty good idea. well i'm gonna go now, maybe do some homework.
-Rachel
P.S. Thanks G-bear for the talk and advice. i love ya