[Fic] Remember you/Miss you - Chapter 1
Genre: Angst but happy ending
Pairing: PiN (Yamashita Tomohisa/Akanishi Jin), a little of RyoJin
Disclaimer: Had they been mine, I would certainly imprison them into a golden cage *evil smile*. But sadly, not mine *sob*
Summary:
“Please remember me, although I just can stay in a tiny piece of your heart.”
He heard the other one whisper like that, with warm tears dropped on his face…
The next day, nowhere could find Jin.
A/N: Sorry for making you wait so long, here is the chapter 1 of Remember you/Miss you. Hope that I can continue receiving your support to my fic ^^.
And like always, my beta-san kindof_sweet did a good job for helping me correct all my stupid mistakes, thank you fiz-chan
. So good to have you here and supporting me no matter what
.
gokara -chan, the new chap for u, plz receive it with my love ne ^^!
A/N 2: Well, I have been thinking a lot about the title of this chapter. And finally I decide to use this one. A bit long, ne? But it's not also Pi's thought, it's my thought too when I heard the news saying about KAT-TUN Official Profile will no longer have "A". Yes, the news in August 31st. So I hope you don't mind seeing such a long title like that ^^. Thank you
.
Prologue |
Chapter 1: I love you, from the bottom of this heart, so please comeback my dear.
I miss you.
The practice room is occupied with two people. Ryo is sitting on the couch reading a magazine while Yamapi is pacing back and forth inside the practice room. He can’t think straight as his heart is so at lost to what more he should do.
“Stop walking around like that, you moron!” Ryo is frowning and grumbling at Yamapi’s action. “You make me sick!”
Yamapi doesn’t say anything as he just continues stepping and ignoring Ryo as if he didn’t listen to him.
“I told you, STOP!” Ryo is exasperated. He throws the magazine in his hand onto the table in front of him violently, “What the fuck can you do if you just keep walking like that?”
“Shut the hell up, Ryo. Jin is missing and all you can do is sit there calmly as if nothing happen? What the fucking kind of friend are you?” cannot hold his anxiousness anymore, Yamapi shouts at Ryo. He is worrying till death about Jin, and all the thing Ryo can do is just sit still and grumble about little thing. Fuck!
“Oh, so I see Pi-chan is worrying about Jinjin. Oh, how nice of you,” Ryo says in a mocking voice.
Yamapi feels angrier more than ever by Ryo’s words, “Shut up! Fuck you!” Yamapi glares dangerously at Ryo as he clenches his hand into a fist. If the one who sitting in front of him is not Ryo, his best friend, he swears he will throws a punch into that face.
“Oh, am I wrong? Huh, Yamashita-san?” Ryo bursts into laugh, a laugh still in the same mocking voice he used before. Ryo stands up from the couch and facing Yamapi “So I wonder who did push Jin away after all? Who did ignore and evade him like hell all the time after he had finally found the courage to confess? It’s you, Yamapi! It’s you!” Ryo makes it clear to Yamapi what has been in his mind. “I’m the one who should ask you what the fucking kind of friend are you?! Fucking bastard!” Ryo is losing his patience finally. The glass of water on the table is hit hard by Ryo’s foot sending it falling to the floor and broken into shattered pieces.
By the time the glass touches the floor, Yamapi grits his teeth and rushes into grabbing Ryo’s collar tightly, one fist is holding high as if ready to throw a punch at the other’s face. But then, he doesn’t do it, he can’t do that because he knows all the things that Ryo said are true. It’s all his fault, now who can he blame for? He lowers his fist but still grabbing Ryo’s collar firmly and staring darkly at him. Ryo just smirks and is staring by the equal glare at Yamapi.
“You know so well Jin is the kind of person who can’t stand the loneliness, but you’re the one who pushed him into the thing that he scares the most. And now it’s you who say ‘Oh I’m so worried about Jin’ or something fucking like that. Who do you think you are? You fucking liar!” Ryo says that straight to Yamapi’s face.
Ryo clenches his teeth. Yamapi can sense Ryo’s anger in his voice - it’s easy to realize it but behind the intense glare, inside his dark eyes is something more indescribable. Its something that makes him sting in his heart, something like… sadness?
Yamapi lets go of his hand off Ryo’s collar and points to the door saying “You, get out, don’t make me go mad right now. I’m not in the mood to argue with you.” He can accept that Ryo is angry at him but seeing the emotion in his eyes is making him suffocated.
Ryo just walks away but doesn’t forget turning toward him and says before completely getting out of the room, “You should feel lucky that Jin just left without a word like that. If I were him, I swear I would punch you hard straight into your face.” And the “bang!” sound from the door being closed harshly lets Yamapi knows that finally he’s alone in the practice room.
Yamapi collapses onto the couch. He lets out a deep sigh, one of his hand gropes into the left pocket of his pant. He pulls out a crumpling letter, indicating that this one must be read a lot by the receiver. He sighs once again before opening the letter and starting to re-read it again.
His eyes are gone wet. It’s so painful when he reads the words written in the letter by the familiar but trembling handwriting of Jin. Now he realized he loves Jin, he misses Jin and he can’t live without Jin, but what should he do to bring Jin back? He has been searching for him everywhere but then nowhere can he found Jin. And it drives him crazy making him goes mad more and more.
He feels tired and exhausted, but he can’t give up, he never ever will give up. He needs to find Jin and tell him that he’s a loser who daren’t face his real love, and he needs to confess that he too is in love with Jin, and he wants to tell Jin that he will never push him away like before once more time.
He is curling into a ball on the couch. He slowly closes his eyes, a tear drop sparkling at the corner of the eye and is rolling down his face. It’s so hurt knowing that he misses the older yet he can’t see him anymore. His mind is replaying all the memories they share together and Jin’s smiles, Jin’s laughs, and Jin’s voice. His heart beats so painfully knowing that he can’t see the bright smiles, the contagious laughs and the melodious voice anymore. Yamapi is gripping his shirt on his chest tightly as if it can help to lessen the pain he feels in his heart.
A murmur can be heard coming from Yamapi’s mouth, “Jin, I love you, from the bottom of this heart, so please come back. I miss you…”
His erratic breathing before becomes more regular and finally he is breathing peacefully showing that he begins to drift into sleep after two days of searching for Jin nonstop and without sleep.
The letter in his grip is loosened and it falls down onto the floor…
“Dear Pi-chan,
I’m sorry for all the things I have done to you. You must think I’m a freaky troublesome or so, ne? Listen, I’m sorry, really, I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable because of me. It’s just I can’t hide it anymore - my feelings for you, and now, when I finally can confess it, although your answer is ‘yes’ or ‘no’, I’m still pleased with myself. So don’t need to worry for me, ne? Just forget all the silly things that I said, or if it’s not enough, just forget me, since I’m the one who say it out and put the end to our friendship, it will be the worthy punishment for me.
Thank you for all the time you’re by my side. Don’t worry, and don’t need to find me too. I think this time I’ll be alright to stand on my own feet.
Jin.”
++++
Yamapi is practicing alone in the practice room, when he feels like someone is watching him from his back. At first, he just tried to ignore it, but when it comes more and more frequently, he decides to turn to his back and find out who it is. It turned out to be Jin - his best friend, who is still looking at him with a sheepish smile. Jin is waving at him when he catches his sight. Yamapi smiles at him as well feeling his heart beats faster and faster but he doesn't know why. But Yamapi is sure of two things, the things he had discovered since they were both young that is Jin is so cute in that sheepish smile, and seeing Jin’s smile makes Yamapi feels so warm inside his heart.
Yamapi waves back and waiting for Jin to come and sits by his side as he sits himself on the floor to take a short break. When Jin is approaching him, it hit him, hard; a faint scent from Jin’s body, soft and pure like apple’s flavour, making him shiver a bit. He could feel his blood rush rapidly under his vein when their bare arms are touching slightly as Jin is sitting down beside him. He had these odd thoughts recently, about touching Jin, embracing Jin in his arm and sometimes, even kissing those mushy lips. That was weird, he knows, so he wonders why he felt like that about Jin? Is it because sometimes Jin looks so cute and so much like a pretty precious lady or there is something more than that? He doesn't know, so he just buried that feeling deep down inside his heart.
“Ne, Pi…”, Jin hesitates, “Can I talk to you after practicing?”
“Sure you can,” Pi answers, wondering what Jin’s going to tell him as he is feeling a bit curious when seeing a beautiful Jin sitting beside him seems a little hesitate. Really, with the pink cheeks and ducking his head slightly, Jin looks so exactly like a teenage girl who is in love but still its makes Jin looks more gorgeous.
“Uhn, so waiting for me in dressing room after we finish, okay?” Jin looks up and gives a bright smile.
“Okay”, Pi nods and look at Jin who is standing and walking towards the door to go back to his own dance practice in KAT-TUN's practice room.
-----
“So, what do you want to tell me, Jin?” Yamapi asks when he notices everybody had left and only he and Jin are left in this room. Jin had come to NEWS dressing room after finishing his practice to wait for Yamapi.
“I… uhm… ne, Pi..,” Jin starts but it's so hard to talk. Yamapi looks at him waiting patiently for Jin to tell him the thing that he wants to talk. Jin takes a deep breath as if he is trying to gather his courage, “Now I’m in love with someone. Although I have been in love with that person for a long time, I really don’t know what should I do. I’m kind of… afraid, if that person doesn’t have feeling for me, or if my confession will make our precious friendship to fall apart. I really scare of that. Pi, you think, what should I do now?”
Yamapi is so shocked to hear it. A part of him feels so hurt by Jin's confession about his love, the pain in his heart is so hurting but he tries to smile to Jin and tells him what he doesn't want to say (and he still doesn't know why he feels like that). “Bakanishi, just tell her you love her. I swear she will nod immediately and must be very happy to become your girlfriend,” Yamapi answers. “Because you’re so pretty, so cute, so attractive, and that girl is too lucky to have you in her life, damn it! Oh, what I’m thinking about???” he continues his thought at the back of his mind and cursing himself for thinking of that.
“If you say so, then…,” Yamapi can see a clear blush on Jin's cheeks, as he whispers hesitantly the next sentence. “I love you, Pi”.
Yamapi is stunned suddenly by Jin's words. Somewhere in his heart feels so warm at Jin’s confession, but… they’re just best friend, right? And more important, they’re both boys! But what is this feeling? Why he feels so happy? What’s the matter with him now? He is thinking hard but found no answers to his own questions until he couldn’t stand the confusion anymore, he just ran way instead of answering Jin’s confession.
[tbc]
Pairing: PiN (Yamashita Tomohisa/Akanishi Jin), a little of RyoJin
Disclaimer: Had they been mine, I would certainly imprison them into a golden cage *evil smile*. But sadly, not mine *sob*
Summary:
“Please remember me, although I just can stay in a tiny piece of your heart.”
He heard the other one whisper like that, with warm tears dropped on his face…
The next day, nowhere could find Jin.
A/N: Sorry for making you wait so long, here is the chapter 1 of Remember you/Miss you. Hope that I can continue receiving your support to my fic ^^.
And like always, my beta-san kindof_sweet did a good job for helping me correct all my stupid mistakes, thank you fiz-chan
. So good to have you here and supporting me no matter what
.
gokara -chan, the new chap for u, plz receive it with my love ne ^^!
A/N 2: Well, I have been thinking a lot about the title of this chapter. And finally I decide to use this one. A bit long, ne? But it's not also Pi's thought, it's my thought too when I heard the news saying about KAT-TUN Official Profile will no longer have "A". Yes, the news in August 31st. So I hope you don't mind seeing such a long title like that ^^. Thank you
.
Prologue |
Chapter 1: I love you, from the bottom of this heart, so please comeback my dear.
I miss you.
The practice room is occupied with two people. Ryo is sitting on the couch reading a magazine while Yamapi is pacing back and forth inside the practice room. He can’t think straight as his heart is so at lost to what more he should do.
“Stop walking around like that, you moron!” Ryo is frowning and grumbling at Yamapi’s action. “You make me sick!”
Yamapi doesn’t say anything as he just continues stepping and ignoring Ryo as if he didn’t listen to him.
“I told you, STOP!” Ryo is exasperated. He throws the magazine in his hand onto the table in front of him violently, “What the fuck can you do if you just keep walking like that?”
“Shut the hell up, Ryo. Jin is missing and all you can do is sit there calmly as if nothing happen? What the fucking kind of friend are you?” cannot hold his anxiousness anymore, Yamapi shouts at Ryo. He is worrying till death about Jin, and all the thing Ryo can do is just sit still and grumble about little thing. Fuck!
“Oh, so I see Pi-chan is worrying about Jinjin. Oh, how nice of you,” Ryo says in a mocking voice.
Yamapi feels angrier more than ever by Ryo’s words, “Shut up! Fuck you!” Yamapi glares dangerously at Ryo as he clenches his hand into a fist. If the one who sitting in front of him is not Ryo, his best friend, he swears he will throws a punch into that face.
“Oh, am I wrong? Huh, Yamashita-san?” Ryo bursts into laugh, a laugh still in the same mocking voice he used before. Ryo stands up from the couch and facing Yamapi “So I wonder who did push Jin away after all? Who did ignore and evade him like hell all the time after he had finally found the courage to confess? It’s you, Yamapi! It’s you!” Ryo makes it clear to Yamapi what has been in his mind. “I’m the one who should ask you what the fucking kind of friend are you?! Fucking bastard!” Ryo is losing his patience finally. The glass of water on the table is hit hard by Ryo’s foot sending it falling to the floor and broken into shattered pieces.
By the time the glass touches the floor, Yamapi grits his teeth and rushes into grabbing Ryo’s collar tightly, one fist is holding high as if ready to throw a punch at the other’s face. But then, he doesn’t do it, he can’t do that because he knows all the things that Ryo said are true. It’s all his fault, now who can he blame for? He lowers his fist but still grabbing Ryo’s collar firmly and staring darkly at him. Ryo just smirks and is staring by the equal glare at Yamapi.
“You know so well Jin is the kind of person who can’t stand the loneliness, but you’re the one who pushed him into the thing that he scares the most. And now it’s you who say ‘Oh I’m so worried about Jin’ or something fucking like that. Who do you think you are? You fucking liar!” Ryo says that straight to Yamapi’s face.
Ryo clenches his teeth. Yamapi can sense Ryo’s anger in his voice - it’s easy to realize it but behind the intense glare, inside his dark eyes is something more indescribable. Its something that makes him sting in his heart, something like… sadness?
Yamapi lets go of his hand off Ryo’s collar and points to the door saying “You, get out, don’t make me go mad right now. I’m not in the mood to argue with you.” He can accept that Ryo is angry at him but seeing the emotion in his eyes is making him suffocated.
Ryo just walks away but doesn’t forget turning toward him and says before completely getting out of the room, “You should feel lucky that Jin just left without a word like that. If I were him, I swear I would punch you hard straight into your face.” And the “bang!” sound from the door being closed harshly lets Yamapi knows that finally he’s alone in the practice room.
Yamapi collapses onto the couch. He lets out a deep sigh, one of his hand gropes into the left pocket of his pant. He pulls out a crumpling letter, indicating that this one must be read a lot by the receiver. He sighs once again before opening the letter and starting to re-read it again.
His eyes are gone wet. It’s so painful when he reads the words written in the letter by the familiar but trembling handwriting of Jin. Now he realized he loves Jin, he misses Jin and he can’t live without Jin, but what should he do to bring Jin back? He has been searching for him everywhere but then nowhere can he found Jin. And it drives him crazy making him goes mad more and more.
He feels tired and exhausted, but he can’t give up, he never ever will give up. He needs to find Jin and tell him that he’s a loser who daren’t face his real love, and he needs to confess that he too is in love with Jin, and he wants to tell Jin that he will never push him away like before once more time.
He is curling into a ball on the couch. He slowly closes his eyes, a tear drop sparkling at the corner of the eye and is rolling down his face. It’s so hurt knowing that he misses the older yet he can’t see him anymore. His mind is replaying all the memories they share together and Jin’s smiles, Jin’s laughs, and Jin’s voice. His heart beats so painfully knowing that he can’t see the bright smiles, the contagious laughs and the melodious voice anymore. Yamapi is gripping his shirt on his chest tightly as if it can help to lessen the pain he feels in his heart.
A murmur can be heard coming from Yamapi’s mouth, “Jin, I love you, from the bottom of this heart, so please come back. I miss you…”
His erratic breathing before becomes more regular and finally he is breathing peacefully showing that he begins to drift into sleep after two days of searching for Jin nonstop and without sleep.
The letter in his grip is loosened and it falls down onto the floor…
“Dear Pi-chan,
I’m sorry for all the things I have done to you. You must think I’m a freaky troublesome or so, ne? Listen, I’m sorry, really, I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable because of me. It’s just I can’t hide it anymore - my feelings for you, and now, when I finally can confess it, although your answer is ‘yes’ or ‘no’, I’m still pleased with myself. So don’t need to worry for me, ne? Just forget all the silly things that I said, or if it’s not enough, just forget me, since I’m the one who say it out and put the end to our friendship, it will be the worthy punishment for me.
Thank you for all the time you’re by my side. Don’t worry, and don’t need to find me too. I think this time I’ll be alright to stand on my own feet.
Jin.”
++++
Yamapi is practicing alone in the practice room, when he feels like someone is watching him from his back. At first, he just tried to ignore it, but when it comes more and more frequently, he decides to turn to his back and find out who it is. It turned out to be Jin - his best friend, who is still looking at him with a sheepish smile. Jin is waving at him when he catches his sight. Yamapi smiles at him as well feeling his heart beats faster and faster but he doesn't know why. But Yamapi is sure of two things, the things he had discovered since they were both young that is Jin is so cute in that sheepish smile, and seeing Jin’s smile makes Yamapi feels so warm inside his heart.
Yamapi waves back and waiting for Jin to come and sits by his side as he sits himself on the floor to take a short break. When Jin is approaching him, it hit him, hard; a faint scent from Jin’s body, soft and pure like apple’s flavour, making him shiver a bit. He could feel his blood rush rapidly under his vein when their bare arms are touching slightly as Jin is sitting down beside him. He had these odd thoughts recently, about touching Jin, embracing Jin in his arm and sometimes, even kissing those mushy lips. That was weird, he knows, so he wonders why he felt like that about Jin? Is it because sometimes Jin looks so cute and so much like a pretty precious lady or there is something more than that? He doesn't know, so he just buried that feeling deep down inside his heart.
“Ne, Pi…”, Jin hesitates, “Can I talk to you after practicing?”
“Sure you can,” Pi answers, wondering what Jin’s going to tell him as he is feeling a bit curious when seeing a beautiful Jin sitting beside him seems a little hesitate. Really, with the pink cheeks and ducking his head slightly, Jin looks so exactly like a teenage girl who is in love but still its makes Jin looks more gorgeous.
“Uhn, so waiting for me in dressing room after we finish, okay?” Jin looks up and gives a bright smile.
“Okay”, Pi nods and look at Jin who is standing and walking towards the door to go back to his own dance practice in KAT-TUN's practice room.
-----
“So, what do you want to tell me, Jin?” Yamapi asks when he notices everybody had left and only he and Jin are left in this room. Jin had come to NEWS dressing room after finishing his practice to wait for Yamapi.
“I… uhm… ne, Pi..,” Jin starts but it's so hard to talk. Yamapi looks at him waiting patiently for Jin to tell him the thing that he wants to talk. Jin takes a deep breath as if he is trying to gather his courage, “Now I’m in love with someone. Although I have been in love with that person for a long time, I really don’t know what should I do. I’m kind of… afraid, if that person doesn’t have feeling for me, or if my confession will make our precious friendship to fall apart. I really scare of that. Pi, you think, what should I do now?”
Yamapi is so shocked to hear it. A part of him feels so hurt by Jin's confession about his love, the pain in his heart is so hurting but he tries to smile to Jin and tells him what he doesn't want to say (and he still doesn't know why he feels like that). “Bakanishi, just tell her you love her. I swear she will nod immediately and must be very happy to become your girlfriend,” Yamapi answers. “Because you’re so pretty, so cute, so attractive, and that girl is too lucky to have you in her life, damn it! Oh, what I’m thinking about???” he continues his thought at the back of his mind and cursing himself for thinking of that.
“If you say so, then…,” Yamapi can see a clear blush on Jin's cheeks, as he whispers hesitantly the next sentence. “I love you, Pi”.
Yamapi is stunned suddenly by Jin's words. Somewhere in his heart feels so warm at Jin’s confession, but… they’re just best friend, right? And more important, they’re both boys! But what is this feeling? Why he feels so happy? What’s the matter with him now? He is thinking hard but found no answers to his own questions until he couldn’t stand the confusion anymore, he just ran way instead of answering Jin’s confession.
[tbc]