Confused as ALL HELL

[sapphiretearss]

You see, I dont know what I want. I'm so in love, but confused about...ya know...with who? familiarity reins on some extent of it, my heart and mind on the rest of it. im sick of not knowing whats going on. im sick of not knowing what i want. im sick of not knowing what the fuck i should be doing with my life. im not complaining, dont get me wrong, i just want to know what i should be doing. i will end up hurting someone and i dont want that to happen. its going to i know it, but i cant help that. some things are just better in my eyes than others, and i dont know what makes me think this way, but ... i dunno. its just the way i feel. you all can call me a playa, a bitch/whore/slut/cheater or whatever you all want to...but whatever, its not going to hurt my feelings. when i sort it out, it will all be better. for know, im just going to live this through and hope it figures itself out. I DONT KNOW. one is so dependent, the other...so INDEPENDENT. i dont know which is better..dependence or independence....GRRR
{"Cuz everyday causes so much pain
Cuz her world is in constant change
And if walls could talk who'd they blame
Guess we'll never know
And even though life is here
She don't feel like it's worth to live
Cuz no matter how much she gives
The shadows hold on
If she was born again
Would things be different
Would she ever know
What it feels like to actually be loved
Would her life repeat
So we can blame it on history
But for right now
She needs someone
To show her love and affection
This girl was me") -Tamyra Gra(e)y
Thats how I feel. whatever. i give up. im sick and tired of trying to figure this shit out. id rather just be alone.