038. "I want you to stay forever."
Title: "I want you to stay forever."
Date: January 25, 2008
Pairing: Eeteuk/Kibum
Rating: Eh, I dunno G? PG?
Word Count: 1,219
Archive: here.
Disclaimer: Alas sadly I do not own any of these people. I repeat I DO NOT own any of these people. Only the story is mine
Summary: As you all know, or might know, KiBum is now living by himself in an officetel(an office hotel). EeTeuk finds the reason to why KiBum wants to live on his own.
A/N: I’m really sorry to KiBum fans! If you read you'll find out why I'm sorry.
Link to community: miracle______
Theme Number: 38/100
Finished: 3/100
“Hyung, I want to live by myself.”
EeTeuk looked at the younger man. “KiBum, what are you talking about?”
“I want to live by myself.” KiBum repeated.
“I meant why? Why do you want to live by yourself?”
“I just need some room away from all these people. You know how I can be quiet and I really need some peace and quiet to think.”
EeTeuk had a worried look on his face. He sighed and gave the okay for KiBum to live on his own in an officetel.
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It had been a week since KiBum had decided to move out and live by himself. EeTeuk picked up the phone.
“Hello?” A low voice said over the phone.
“KiBum-ah.” EeTeuk said with a smile coming across his face
“Oh, Hyung, what’s up?”
“I just wanted to hear your voice. How are you doing living on your own?” EeTeuk asked the younger man on the phone.
“What are you talking about,” KiBum asked, “You talked to me yesterday after the concert.”
EeTeuk laughed, “That’s right, I forgot. I’m so used to you coming over with HeeChul everyday. Whenever I see HeeChul I keep asking him where KiBum is. Then I realize that you moved out. I’m still not used to the new dorm rooms yet. Why don’t you come over once and awhile?”
KiBum gave a light chuckle, “Hyung you’re getting old. I’ll try to come over, but lately my schedule has been really busy. You know I’m filming another drama.”
“Oh, that’s right.” EeTeuk said, “Then I’ll come over in a few days to visit you, alright?”
“Okay, Hyung.”
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KiBum opened the door to his officetel to see EeTeuk standing there smiling at him.
“KiBum-ah!” EeTeuk smiled and walked inside looking around, the house was very neat and everything looked in place.
“Hyung what are you doing here?” KiBum asked as he closed to door behind EeTeuk.
“I said I would come and visit… It seems like you’re doing okay by yourself.” EeTeuk said.
KiBum shifted his weight from one foot to another after a five seconds he answered, “Yeah I’m fine. What gave you the impression that I wouldn’t?”
“I didn’t get that impression. It’s just that I thought that you might miss your hyungs while you were away from us.”
KiBum didn’t say anything. He filled up a pot with water because he was planning on making tea. “Do you want to eat or drink anything?”
EeTeuk didn’t answer he just looked at the pictures on the wall. EeTeuk noticed that there weren’t any pictures of Super Junior. In the dorm there were pictures everywhere. Most of the pictures were from fans, they would put up the posters of themselves because it was a sign that they accomplished their dream of being big stars.
EeTeuk opened a book and started reading what was inside it after reading it he put the book away while doing so he dropped another one in the process.
A loud clang came from the room that KiBum was in. EeTeuk hurried into the room that KiBum was in, “KiBum-ah! What wrong? I heard a noise…”
KiBum held his forearm under the faucet of running water. EeTeuk saw the pot on the ground and he guessed what had happened.
EeTeuk turned off the stove, picked up the pot and cleared the water off the ground so that no one would slip. After he finished he walked over to where KiBum was standing and put his hand on the spot where he got burnt. On the younger man’s forearm there were scars and bruises.
“…Did it hurt…?” he asked softly.
KiBum looked at EeTeuk from the softness in his hyung’s voice he could tell that EeTeuk knew.
The younger man felt something coming out of his eyes as he buried his face in the older man’s chest.
EeTeuk closed the faucet as he grabbed a towel to dry KiBum’s arm. EeTeuk guided KiBum to the couch and sat down.
The two sat there doing nothing, saying nothing.
Finally KiBum opened his mouth, “Hyung… I… want to…”
EeTeuk knew what was coming, “Quit?” He said.
KiBum looked up at the older man, “Yes I want to quit… Super Junior.” EeTeuk didn’t say anything so he went on, “If I quit no one will miss me. I barely get any parts for songs. For the second album, which we really wanted to release, I hardly got any lyrics to sing in the songs. I didn’t even sing, I rapped almost every part I got. That also reminds me of the single ‘U’ I barely got anything I only rapped.”
EeTeuk finally opened his mouth and said something to him, “You’re wrong. People will miss you. You’ve lived with HeeChul and HanKyung for a long time. Why do you think that they won’t miss you?”
“They only talk to each other.” KiBum said.
“Then what about me?” EeTeuk asked, “You don’t think that I’ll miss you? Didn’t you ever think about how heart broken I would be to hear this? I thought that living by your self might help you think about it more but I guess I was wrong. I knew all this was happening. I knew that you were cutting your own arms because of the loneliness you felt. I know the feeling. I know how you feel stressed from being in a group with so many members. I know how everyone can’t get a say in everything because we’re a big group. But I still held on because I knew that even though this happens we all love each other as brothers. There has been many times where I just want to quit also. But I know that I would let everyone down if I did quit. There are members who think that being in Super Junior is everything to them. This is their dream this is my dream.”
“Hyung… I…” KiBum said.
“I really care for everyone in the group. It would hurt everyone if one person left the group. It would hurt me if you left the group. You love everyone in the group, and everyone loves you back. You moved out to see if they loved you enough to stop you from living by yourself. You moved out to see if they would come to visit often.”
“Why didn’t they?” KiBum asked.
“They thought this is what you would want. They thought that you didn’t want to talk to them.”
KiBum looked at the floor for a minute then he turned his head to look at EeTeuk, “Hyung… I’m sorry for the way I acted. I shouldn’t have acted this way. I should have been stronger…”
EeTeuk looked at him, “Its okay not everyone can be strong. Come to me when you need help, if you need someone to hold you call me. Call me in the middle of the night or the middle of the day. I’ll come running to you.”
“Alright Hyung” KiBum said.
“Promise me that you won’t cut yourself any more.”
“I promise.”
“Promise me that you will call me when you need help or just want to talk to someone.”
“I promise.”
“Promise me that you will never think about leaving Super Junior.”
“Hyung, I promise.”
“Good because I want you to stay forever.”