070. Thunderstorm
There was no cloud in the sky it was all blue and no clouds.
Sungmin stepped into the hostel where he was staying and was surprised to see someone in the hostel. Everyone is busy practicing what they were best with. Kyuhyun and Ryeowook were off in China promoting their album. Yesung was having his vocals checked just in case there was something wrong with it. We wouldn’t want Yesung to strain his voice seeing as how he was one of the three main vocalists of the group. Plus they were also warming up his voice so that wouldn’t crack during the performance later on. EunHyuk was practicing his dancing in the studio. Since everyone who roomed with Sungmin in the same hostel was out, why would Kangin be here?
Sungmin watched the older man stare out the window while sitting down on the couch. He seemed to be in deep thought but his eyebrows were furrowed in a frustrated look.
‘It looks like hyung is in deep thought.’ Sungmin thought. Then suddenly he recalled a memory that had happened earlier on in the day.
Along with that thought a couple clouds started rolling in.
------------------
Sungmin skipped though the hallways to dance practice. Once he reached the studio he stopped in front of the door when he heard some mumbling coming from the room. Sungmin pressed his ear close to the door and listened.
“Hyung.” Sungmin easily recognized his voice. The voice came from Kangin. Sungmin loved the sound of his voice. He loved everything about it. It sounded manly, calm, loving, and just absolutely wonderful.
“Yes Youngwoon?” Sungmin could tell who said these words instantly as well. It was the sound of someone he was most jealous of. The one that had Kangin to himself the one that was always happily in Kangin’s arms all the time. It was Leeteuk’s voice.
There was silence in the studio and outside the studio as well. Sungmin knew it was wrong to eavesdrop but he couldn’t help but listen in.
“What is it Youngwoon?” Leeteuk asked.
“Hyung… I’m sorry.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You know that I love you right?”
“Of course I know. I love you too.”
Sungmin cringed when he listened to this. He couldn’t help but feel even more jealous. He wanted to be the one in Leeteuk’s place the one to be told I love you by Kangin.
“I…” Kangin said before he stopped for a long silence period.
There was a small laugh that sounded a bit nervous, “Youngwoon… Spit it out.”
“You know that I wouldn’t hurt you intentionally right…? You know that I love you and I would never want to hurt you… right?”
Sungmin accepted the fact that Kangin could never be with anyone else but Leeteuk. They were perfect for each other. Sungmin wanted both of them to be happy because he loved them both. He wanted to see Kangin happy, and if being with Leeteuk made him happy he would be happy with that.
“I know that.” Leeteuk said and from the sound of his voice there was a smile in it, “So what are you trying to say?”
There was another long silence through out the studio. Sungmin held his breath. He knew that he shouldn’t be doing what he was doing but if it involved Kangin he had to be there.
Kangin interrupted the silence, “I… I-I want to break up...”
Sungmin’s heart stopped when he heard this. How could Kangin want to break up? Sungmin felt jealous of Leeteuk but he felt that the best person out there for Kangin was Leeteuk and no one else. Not even Sungmin himself.
Silence rung through out the studio once more.
“What are you talking about?” Leeteuk asked breaking the silence inside his voice there was a sting of hurt in it.
Kangin stayed quiet and didn’t say anything.
From outside the studio you could hear a heavy breath. “You’re… You’re in love with someone else… aren’t you…? …Who is it?” You could hear from the sound if the words that Leeteuk’s voice had a watery feel to it. He had started tearing.
How could Kangin be in love with someone else? Leeteuk is the perfect lover. How could Kangin be in love with someone else? Sungmin felt hurt listening to it. He has to experience another person being in love with Kangin. He would have been fine if it had been Leeteuk but if it was someone else then he couldn’t bear it.
Sungmin couldn’t stand hearing anything else any longer so he turned around and ran out of the building.
------------------
Sungmin watched as the man he loved sigh heavily. At that moment Sungmin wanted to run to him and ask for his forgiveness. He felt that everything he did was his fault. It was his fault for not keeping Kangin happy.
Sungmin was in love with Kangin and Kangin had no idea.
Dark clouds started forming around the atmosphere showing signs of a thunderstorm.
“Sungmin-ah.” Kangin called to him when he noticed that Sungmin had walked in.
“Hyung, what are you doing here?” Sungmin asked. He tried to keep his voice level with every ounce of strength in his body.
“Oh, I heard that you’d be here by yourself today so I came here to give you some company.” Kangin smiled.
“Oh.” Sungmin said with a slight quiver to his voice. He had hoped that Kangin didn’t hear but he did.
“Are you okay?” Kangin asked with his eye brows furrowed.
“Yeah I’m fine…. I-I just feel tired.”
Kangin furrowed his eyebrows once again and moved his hand to touch Sungmin’s forehead.
In that instant Sungmin’s face became burning hot red, “H-hyung, I’m fine. You don’t have to do that.”
“You’re burning up.”
The thunderstorm has started to pick up speed.
“Ah hyung! I said I’m fine!”
“Okay you don’t have to yell at me.” Kangin said giving a little pouty look.
“Ah, I’m sorry hyung I didn’t mean to.” Sungmin said.
“…Actually Sungmin, I’m here to tell you something.”
Sungmin’s heart stopped. He must want to ask for advice about the thing with Leeteuk. The thunder clouds are getting bigger and bigger.
“What is it hyung?” Sungmin asked in the calmest voice he could muster.
“Let’s sit down and talk.” Kangin said walking over to the couch and sat down Sungmin sat down with him.
“So what did you want to talk about?” Sungmin asked.
“…I broke up with Jungsu.”
The clouds have started getting darker and bigger.
“Really?” Sungmin asked trying his hardest to sound sincere, “I thought you were happy with him though.”
“I was but then I found someone else that made me happier.”
“Oh, really?” Sungmin felt so much pain. He couldn’t bear it. Kangin couldn’t see it… Kangin couldn’t see that Sungmin was in love with him. Why?
“Yeah… But I don’t know how to express it to this person.”
Sungmin nodded his head to what Kangin was saying. He tried to calm himself down in order to give Kangin the advice he wanted to but he couldn’t.
“Hyung… I think you should ask someone else about this.” Sungmin told Kangin.
“Why?” Kangin asked bewildered, “You’re the only person I can tell.”
Sungmin stood up and stood with his back to Kangin.
The thunderstorm was let lose. It started raining and pouring. The thunder and lightning was loud and roaring around the whole place.
“Why?! Why is it only me?” Sungmin asked, “How can you only ask me? Can’t you see?”
Kangin didn’t say anything. Sungmin stared at the ground; he felt something hot streaming down his face.
“Why?” Sungmin asked, “I’m always here for you and this is how you repay me? How could you treat me this way? Don’t you see that it hurts?”
“Sungmin…”
“Hyung! How could you come to me and ask for advice? Can’t you see that it hurt that I’m in love with you?”
“Sungmin…” Kangin said softly. From behind Sungmin can hear Kangin shifting off the couch.
Sungmin looked up from the ground when he felt soft arms wrap around him.
“Sungmin…” Kangin whispered ever so softly in his ear, “I had no idea that you would be this mad at me.”
“Hyung… I’ve loved you even longer than Jungsu hyung has.” Sungmin said, “Don’t you see? I’ve loved you for a long time but I had to accept the fact that you were happy with Jungsu hyung. I was happy seeing you happy. But when I heard that you broke up with him and were in love with someone else I couldn’t stand it. I don’t want to see you in love with another person. It just hurts…”
There was a small pause for silence. You could hear the cars from outside and you could hear Sungmin sniffing a little from crying.
“You didn’t let me finish talking before you burst out yelling at me.” Kangin said still whispering in Sungmin’s ear.
“I’m sorry hyung….” Sungmin had clamed down a little from getting everything out of his system.
“Now turn around and face me properly.” Kangin said as he loosened his grip a little on Sungmin but his arms were still around him, “Now I can look at you properly.”
Sungmin turned around to face him but he couldn’t lift his head up. He felt ashamed for what he was doing. He knew it was wrong to loose his temper with his hyung. He knew that Kangin wouldn’t love him the way he did. He knew that the way he was acting was childish. He knew that the way he said that he was only happy when Kangin was happy was not true. Even though he knew all this he still continued to cry.
“Shh Sungmin,” Kangin said bringing Sungmin’s face to look up as he wiped away his tears, “Hyung is here…”
Sungmin couldn’t help but cry. Kangin didn’t seem to help either since Kangin was the reason why Sungmin was crying.
Suddenly at one point where Sungmin’s eyes were closed and his mouth was open to let out a sob Kangin invaded his lips with his own. Sungmin’s eyes opened up in shock. What was Kangin doing?
Kangin pulled away, “This is the reason why I wanted to talk to you about it. It’s because the one that I’ve fallen in love with is you.”
Sungmin’s eyes grew even wider if that was even possible.
“Sungmin, I’m in love with you.”
Sungmin felt hot tears run down his face for the second time that day.
“Ah~! Sungmin~~ Why are you crying again?” Kangin said with a smile on his lips as he wiped away the tears.
“H-Hyung~!” Sungmin said with his cute watery voice as he wrapped his arms around Kangin’s neck. Kangin laughed and wrapped his arms around Sungmin’s small waist.
Kangin pulled away from Sungmin slightly and kissed his forehead. After he kissed it he pressed his forehead to Sungmin’s so that they were staring into each others eyes. “I’m sorry for not realizing it sooner. I’m sorry for letting you feel such pain. I’ll try not to do it again.”
Sungmin giggled softly as Kangin pressed their lips together for another kiss.
Once the kiss broke Sungmin giggled again as Kangin pressed their foreheads together once more, “I love you.” Sungmin said to him.
“I love you too.” Kangin smiled.
With that smile of his he calmed down the thunderstorm that was harsh and heavy into a beautiful colorful rainbow.
Sungmin stepped into the hostel where he was staying and was surprised to see someone in the hostel. Everyone is busy practicing what they were best with. Kyuhyun and Ryeowook were off in China promoting their album. Yesung was having his vocals checked just in case there was something wrong with it. We wouldn’t want Yesung to strain his voice seeing as how he was one of the three main vocalists of the group. Plus they were also warming up his voice so that wouldn’t crack during the performance later on. EunHyuk was practicing his dancing in the studio. Since everyone who roomed with Sungmin in the same hostel was out, why would Kangin be here?
Sungmin watched the older man stare out the window while sitting down on the couch. He seemed to be in deep thought but his eyebrows were furrowed in a frustrated look.
‘It looks like hyung is in deep thought.’ Sungmin thought. Then suddenly he recalled a memory that had happened earlier on in the day.
Along with that thought a couple clouds started rolling in.
------------------
Sungmin skipped though the hallways to dance practice. Once he reached the studio he stopped in front of the door when he heard some mumbling coming from the room. Sungmin pressed his ear close to the door and listened.
“Hyung.” Sungmin easily recognized his voice. The voice came from Kangin. Sungmin loved the sound of his voice. He loved everything about it. It sounded manly, calm, loving, and just absolutely wonderful.
“Yes Youngwoon?” Sungmin could tell who said these words instantly as well. It was the sound of someone he was most jealous of. The one that had Kangin to himself the one that was always happily in Kangin’s arms all the time. It was Leeteuk’s voice.
There was silence in the studio and outside the studio as well. Sungmin knew it was wrong to eavesdrop but he couldn’t help but listen in.
“What is it Youngwoon?” Leeteuk asked.
“Hyung… I’m sorry.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You know that I love you right?”
“Of course I know. I love you too.”
Sungmin cringed when he listened to this. He couldn’t help but feel even more jealous. He wanted to be the one in Leeteuk’s place the one to be told I love you by Kangin.
“I…” Kangin said before he stopped for a long silence period.
There was a small laugh that sounded a bit nervous, “Youngwoon… Spit it out.”
“You know that I wouldn’t hurt you intentionally right…? You know that I love you and I would never want to hurt you… right?”
Sungmin accepted the fact that Kangin could never be with anyone else but Leeteuk. They were perfect for each other. Sungmin wanted both of them to be happy because he loved them both. He wanted to see Kangin happy, and if being with Leeteuk made him happy he would be happy with that.
“I know that.” Leeteuk said and from the sound of his voice there was a smile in it, “So what are you trying to say?”
There was another long silence through out the studio. Sungmin held his breath. He knew that he shouldn’t be doing what he was doing but if it involved Kangin he had to be there.
Kangin interrupted the silence, “I… I-I want to break up...”
Sungmin’s heart stopped when he heard this. How could Kangin want to break up? Sungmin felt jealous of Leeteuk but he felt that the best person out there for Kangin was Leeteuk and no one else. Not even Sungmin himself.
Silence rung through out the studio once more.
“What are you talking about?” Leeteuk asked breaking the silence inside his voice there was a sting of hurt in it.
Kangin stayed quiet and didn’t say anything.
From outside the studio you could hear a heavy breath. “You’re… You’re in love with someone else… aren’t you…? …Who is it?” You could hear from the sound if the words that Leeteuk’s voice had a watery feel to it. He had started tearing.
How could Kangin be in love with someone else? Leeteuk is the perfect lover. How could Kangin be in love with someone else? Sungmin felt hurt listening to it. He has to experience another person being in love with Kangin. He would have been fine if it had been Leeteuk but if it was someone else then he couldn’t bear it.
Sungmin couldn’t stand hearing anything else any longer so he turned around and ran out of the building.
------------------
Sungmin watched as the man he loved sigh heavily. At that moment Sungmin wanted to run to him and ask for his forgiveness. He felt that everything he did was his fault. It was his fault for not keeping Kangin happy.
Sungmin was in love with Kangin and Kangin had no idea.
Dark clouds started forming around the atmosphere showing signs of a thunderstorm.
“Sungmin-ah.” Kangin called to him when he noticed that Sungmin had walked in.
“Hyung, what are you doing here?” Sungmin asked. He tried to keep his voice level with every ounce of strength in his body.
“Oh, I heard that you’d be here by yourself today so I came here to give you some company.” Kangin smiled.
“Oh.” Sungmin said with a slight quiver to his voice. He had hoped that Kangin didn’t hear but he did.
“Are you okay?” Kangin asked with his eye brows furrowed.
“Yeah I’m fine…. I-I just feel tired.”
Kangin furrowed his eyebrows once again and moved his hand to touch Sungmin’s forehead.
In that instant Sungmin’s face became burning hot red, “H-hyung, I’m fine. You don’t have to do that.”
“You’re burning up.”
The thunderstorm has started to pick up speed.
“Ah hyung! I said I’m fine!”
“Okay you don’t have to yell at me.” Kangin said giving a little pouty look.
“Ah, I’m sorry hyung I didn’t mean to.” Sungmin said.
“…Actually Sungmin, I’m here to tell you something.”
Sungmin’s heart stopped. He must want to ask for advice about the thing with Leeteuk. The thunder clouds are getting bigger and bigger.
“What is it hyung?” Sungmin asked in the calmest voice he could muster.
“Let’s sit down and talk.” Kangin said walking over to the couch and sat down Sungmin sat down with him.
“So what did you want to talk about?” Sungmin asked.
“…I broke up with Jungsu.”
The clouds have started getting darker and bigger.
“Really?” Sungmin asked trying his hardest to sound sincere, “I thought you were happy with him though.”
“I was but then I found someone else that made me happier.”
“Oh, really?” Sungmin felt so much pain. He couldn’t bear it. Kangin couldn’t see it… Kangin couldn’t see that Sungmin was in love with him. Why?
“Yeah… But I don’t know how to express it to this person.”
Sungmin nodded his head to what Kangin was saying. He tried to calm himself down in order to give Kangin the advice he wanted to but he couldn’t.
“Hyung… I think you should ask someone else about this.” Sungmin told Kangin.
“Why?” Kangin asked bewildered, “You’re the only person I can tell.”
Sungmin stood up and stood with his back to Kangin.
The thunderstorm was let lose. It started raining and pouring. The thunder and lightning was loud and roaring around the whole place.
“Why?! Why is it only me?” Sungmin asked, “How can you only ask me? Can’t you see?”
Kangin didn’t say anything. Sungmin stared at the ground; he felt something hot streaming down his face.
“Why?” Sungmin asked, “I’m always here for you and this is how you repay me? How could you treat me this way? Don’t you see that it hurts?”
“Sungmin…”
“Hyung! How could you come to me and ask for advice? Can’t you see that it hurt that I’m in love with you?”
“Sungmin…” Kangin said softly. From behind Sungmin can hear Kangin shifting off the couch.
Sungmin looked up from the ground when he felt soft arms wrap around him.
“Sungmin…” Kangin whispered ever so softly in his ear, “I had no idea that you would be this mad at me.”
“Hyung… I’ve loved you even longer than Jungsu hyung has.” Sungmin said, “Don’t you see? I’ve loved you for a long time but I had to accept the fact that you were happy with Jungsu hyung. I was happy seeing you happy. But when I heard that you broke up with him and were in love with someone else I couldn’t stand it. I don’t want to see you in love with another person. It just hurts…”
There was a small pause for silence. You could hear the cars from outside and you could hear Sungmin sniffing a little from crying.
“You didn’t let me finish talking before you burst out yelling at me.” Kangin said still whispering in Sungmin’s ear.
“I’m sorry hyung….” Sungmin had clamed down a little from getting everything out of his system.
“Now turn around and face me properly.” Kangin said as he loosened his grip a little on Sungmin but his arms were still around him, “Now I can look at you properly.”
Sungmin turned around to face him but he couldn’t lift his head up. He felt ashamed for what he was doing. He knew it was wrong to loose his temper with his hyung. He knew that Kangin wouldn’t love him the way he did. He knew that the way he was acting was childish. He knew that the way he said that he was only happy when Kangin was happy was not true. Even though he knew all this he still continued to cry.
“Shh Sungmin,” Kangin said bringing Sungmin’s face to look up as he wiped away his tears, “Hyung is here…”
Sungmin couldn’t help but cry. Kangin didn’t seem to help either since Kangin was the reason why Sungmin was crying.
Suddenly at one point where Sungmin’s eyes were closed and his mouth was open to let out a sob Kangin invaded his lips with his own. Sungmin’s eyes opened up in shock. What was Kangin doing?
Kangin pulled away, “This is the reason why I wanted to talk to you about it. It’s because the one that I’ve fallen in love with is you.”
Sungmin’s eyes grew even wider if that was even possible.
“Sungmin, I’m in love with you.”
Sungmin felt hot tears run down his face for the second time that day.
“Ah~! Sungmin~~ Why are you crying again?” Kangin said with a smile on his lips as he wiped away the tears.
“H-Hyung~!” Sungmin said with his cute watery voice as he wrapped his arms around Kangin’s neck. Kangin laughed and wrapped his arms around Sungmin’s small waist.
Kangin pulled away from Sungmin slightly and kissed his forehead. After he kissed it he pressed his forehead to Sungmin’s so that they were staring into each others eyes. “I’m sorry for not realizing it sooner. I’m sorry for letting you feel such pain. I’ll try not to do it again.”
Sungmin giggled softly as Kangin pressed their lips together for another kiss.
Once the kiss broke Sungmin giggled again as Kangin pressed their foreheads together once more, “I love you.” Sungmin said to him.
“I love you too.” Kangin smiled.
With that smile of his he calmed down the thunderstorm that was harsh and heavy into a beautiful colorful rainbow.