Sometimes I just need to scream...
Have you ever been in a quiet room and just wanted to break the silence with a loud scream? I feel like I am sitting in the most unbelievably silent of rooms with tape on my mouth. Translation: I have so much coming up for me and none of it is in focus yet, so I feel like I am in this room with walls I cannot see clearly. I feel ready to see everything before me, but I don't know if I can handle it... I'm rambling a lot of nonsense, but what I mean is that I am scared shitless of my future and what is coming into focus for me. It is so much perfection that I want to scream! Anyone that knows me knows that I am such a perfectionist and that is why I stress out 24/7. So, when everything seems to come together in my life and make me happy, I feel like something has to go bad and that freaking scares the hell out of me!
I had orientation today for Nursing and I'm so excited! I am ready to learn, but so freaking scared of commitment. Why is it that I am always scared of commitments? It has taken me 5 years to finally commit to a major! 5 years! And now that I start in less than a month, I am so freaked out that I just want to hide. I'm so glad that I have Ashley, Betsey, and Bobbie. Ashley has been my bud through Anatomy classes and my CNA class, and we have grown really close. I'm so glad that we can jump through the hurdles of nursing together.
Another wonderful part of my life right now is Jeremy. I have really grown to like him a lot. He's one of those people that just makes me feel good. I just want him around all of the time. He makes me smile every moment I think about him. (See I'm smiling now)... Poor thing is sick in bed right now, and I miss the heck out of him.
Anyway... so, if I begin to focus on these things I mentioned a lot more and I may focus you out a little, please do not get mad at me, people. I still love yall, but I just have to finally grow up and learn to commit. Wish me luck!
I had orientation today for Nursing and I'm so excited! I am ready to learn, but so freaking scared of commitment. Why is it that I am always scared of commitments? It has taken me 5 years to finally commit to a major! 5 years! And now that I start in less than a month, I am so freaked out that I just want to hide. I'm so glad that I have Ashley, Betsey, and Bobbie. Ashley has been my bud through Anatomy classes and my CNA class, and we have grown really close. I'm so glad that we can jump through the hurdles of nursing together.
Another wonderful part of my life right now is Jeremy. I have really grown to like him a lot. He's one of those people that just makes me feel good. I just want him around all of the time. He makes me smile every moment I think about him. (See I'm smiling now)... Poor thing is sick in bed right now, and I miss the heck out of him.
Anyway... so, if I begin to focus on these things I mentioned a lot more and I may focus you out a little, please do not get mad at me, people. I still love yall, but I just have to finally grow up and learn to commit. Wish me luck!