My Week In Comics
Whew, this went long! Now you guys can see why I don't do these too often!
Spoilers and graphics behind the cuts. Big spoilers.
Grimm Fairy Tales #13
Grimm Fairy Tales is one of my "dirty little secret" comic books. Sure, I'm perfectly willing to openly admit to reading about big beefy men running around in skin-tight uniforms (I guess the question here is, "Why aren't there more adult female comic book readers?"), and I've never been one to dismiss fairy tales as "kid's stuff," but one look at any one of the covers is enough to tell you who the intended audience for these books are.
The covers all have a certain sameness to them. You have a long-haired, busty female (who looks nothing like her corresponding character inside the book) wearing a lingerie-like outfit (that looks nothing like anything her corresponding character actually wears inside the book) being threatened by a largish monster of some sort (who often actually does resemble his corresponding character inside the book). The elements are all set up in such a way that you can clearly see what fairy tale the story is referencing. In this case, Beauty and the Beast. Not every cover follows all of the elements, but the busty-female-in-skanty-clothes-and-a-dress-that-goes-up-to-her-woo-woo is present on every cover except for one (The Jack and the Beanstalk issue lacked a chick on its cover. Coincidently, it was, in my opinion, one of the best issues). I suppose it's appropriate. Supposedly, most of the old fairy tales were ultimately about sex, so it only makes sense that they'd use sex to sell a comic about fairy tales.
The inside of each issue is pretty formulaic as well. Start with random modern situation where a person is faced with some sort of moral or life choice. Random dark-haired, busty lit teacher pops up and gives that person a book of fairy tales and tells them to read a particular story, always claiming that her version is the "real" version. Person reads fairy tale, which is much darker than the cleaned-up version that kids are shown, not generally the real version, contains a situation that vaguely resembles the situation that the reader is in, and often ends with something horrible happening to the reader-equivalent-character as a result of making their particular situation wrong. Jump back to modern reader, who either (1) realizes what an idiot they've been and makes the right decision, (2) dismisses the story as just a fairy tale and dies horribly, or (3) realizes what an idiot they've been, and still dies horribly because they've realized it too late.
The biggest problem this series faces is the fact that it's a twist-ending series, and twist-ending stories have become so over-used and trite that all the force of the twist-endings have gone out of them. This is not to say that it's impossible, in this day and age, to write a good twist-ending story, but these guys mostly just seem to be following a fairly uninspired formula.
This issue has a different artist than the one I've seen previously. The style appears to be water-color, but for all I know it could be computer graphics made to look like water color. In general I like it better than their previous stuff, although it does look like when this guy got the job, he was told, "Hey, man, our previous artist wasn't emphasizing cleavage enough, so we need you to work on that. Oh, and throw in a few random panty shots here and there, too. Last guy didn't do enough of that."
I really don't know if the artist was also told that the issue needed more random shots of Kermit the Frog and R2-D2 in the background, or if the artist just decided that for themselves. Probably the latter.
$2.99, 28 pages. The last five pages and inside back cover are taken up by ads, but that's considerably less ads than you normally see in a Big Two comic, and all ads are for other Zenescope comics. I have no idea how regularly it's supposed to come out. It felt like I had to weight several months between issue 10 and 11, and then again between 11 and 12, but 12 and 13 were only a week apart. So apparently their publishing schedule is, "Whenever we damn feel like making a comic book."
Now, given this over-all negative review, folks might wonder why I bother to continue buying them. The answer is pretty simple: it's rare enough to find dark, violent, adult takes of fairy tales. I like dark, violent, adult takes on fairy tales, and if I have to put up with chessecaking them up and formulaic handlings, I'm willing to go that far. Also, they're fun to laugh at.
Civil War: The Initiative
One Shot
Civil War has taken Marvel into strange, morally ambiguous territory, and they appear to be perfectly content to continue to wallow in it. I haven't made up my mind as to whether it's a good thing or not. For many people, it may be. For me, a big part of why I stopped reading Marvel is because I got sick of their dark, good-guys-may-be-bad-guys-or-at-least-constantly-mistaken-for-them-and-oppressed-and-feared-and-hated-by-the-world-they-have-sworn-to-protect view on comics. Which is strange, because that same world view was once what drew me to Marvel to begin with. The Marvel Universe has always been more... realistic than the DC Universe (here I'm talking about society reactions and characterization, not, obviously, physics and things like that). When I was younger, a persecuted youth (not really, but all youths feel like their persecuted), that was part of the draw, and now, as an adult and part of "the establishment," I prefer my escapist entertainment to be more of an escape. That said, Marvel seems to have split their universe into two. You've got the rebel heroes for the young rebel anti-establishment readers, and the gov'ment heroes for the pro-establishment heroes. There's something for everybody! Or something for somebody, at least. Like I said, I really haven't made up my mind what to think. Most of the Marvel characters that appealed to me when I was a younger reader have been so changed or out-and-out ruined over the years that I'm not interested in going back for them, and none of the new handlings have out and out jumped out at me.
Anyway, enough rambling about Marvel in general, and on to this comic book. Civil War: The Initiative is to Civil War what Brave New World was to Infinite Crisis: it's a collection of part-stories intended to give readers a survey-taste of what's to come. There's really rather little that jumps out at me, but then, there was little that jumped out at me from Brave New World, and yet I'm still reading the New Atom.
The first segment is the one that caught my interest the most, but I always did love Alpha Flight (random tangent: Mike's got many many copies of the original Alpha Flight #1, and is going to sell one to me for four bucks! I had that comic as a kid, gave it away to a friend in Germany, and have regretted it ever since). I'm a bit curious about this new "Omega Flight," especially given that more than half of the characters don't actually appear to be, well, Canadian. It appears that Omega Flight is working with Stark's registered heroes, which is kind of... odd, given that some of the members of Omega Flight were shown at the end of Civil War to be moving to Canada specifically to avoid registration.
Next we have the Thunderbolts preview, which is a collection of villains being used by the pro-registration government to track down, kick the asses of, and capture unregistered, rogue "heroes." I may look into it, but it didn't jump out at me as much as Omega Flight did.
Third preview is either a Ms. Marvel preview or Iron Man's Avengers preview. Not sure which. This segment was very obviously written by Bendis, and mostly centers around Ms. Marvel trying to get Spider-Girl-or-Woman-or-Whatever to turn herself in. In it, Ms. Marvel claims that Captain America isn't dead. She may be lying out her ass. I've got no clue. Bendis is often praised over his realistic handling of conversation but, while it doesn't bug me to be reading that handling in, say, a cop drama, I'm not really sure I like seeing it in superhero. I've also always been strongly of the opinion that if you can't use a word in a comic book, don't. Don't "%^#$" to cover up the word you can't use. Use a stand-in, like 'feck' or whatever. Sure, it's not realistic speak, but neither is "%^#$." (And just how do you pronounce "%^#$", anyway?) But that's just a personal pet peeve. I'm sure there are plenty of people who prefer their %^#$ing %^#$s.
Next preview is of Iron Man: Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. It's really short.
Next up is The Mighty Avengers preview (so I guess the other one was Ms. Marvel after all). It's also really short, and involves very Bendis-esque conversation. Black Widow's costume is discussed.
We then have a run-down of how awesome Captain America is, and, for those who haven't heard yet, there's a spoiler. Apparently he gets shot by a sniper or some such. Then there's another really short, no-words Omega Flight preview, and an Avengers: The Initiative preview. Neither grab me.
$4.99, 64 pages. This is one big difference between this issue and Brave New World. DC charged us about a buck (if I remember rightly) for what was, essentially, a collection of advertisements for their upcoming comics. Marvel charges five bucks for the same "privilege." Gee, thank you, Marvel! Even if you pretend that every page was not, in a manner of speaking, an advertisement, there are still 13 pages devoted to ads, plus the insides of both covers and the back cover. Most are dedicated to other Marvel-related products (comics, movies, etc), and beyond that there's an Army recruitment ad, a couple of car ads, DVDs and video games. If there's anyone left on this planet who still thinks that comic books are strictly for children, they... probably aren't opening them up to see the sorts of things being advertised them anyway, and so will continue in their blissful ignorance. Ah, well.
Mystery In Space with Captain Comet Plus: The Weird
Limited Series. 7 of 8.
I started reading this with issue four, I think, getting all the back-issues at once. I'm still missing issue two, I think it is, and that makes me very sad. It doesn't seem like a particularly mysterious mystery... well, okay, there are some things I haven't figured out yet, so I guess it is. It's certainly in space, and certainly involves Captain Comet. Obviously he didn't stay dead after Infinite Crisis (was anyone expecting him to?), but he is no longer a geezer and his powers have changed. I've been enjoying the series... I wouldn't call it great or anything, but it's been interesting. I can't really say much about this issue, though, because it wouldn't make much sense without summarizing the whole series, and it's kind of convoluted in places. Captain Comet has to deal with the Church of Orzhov, er, the Eternal Light Corporation (Magic fans will get the joke - that's all of two of you, I think), a religion built on money. They've got an Evil Scheme(tm) to take over the universe with an army of psychic Captain Comet clones. There are aliens, talking dogs, space fights, space-station fights, and lots of people die horribly. A good time for all! Besides, they're rich aliens, so we shouldn't really care about them. I haven't been liking the Weird segments so much, but they are closely tied in to the primary story, and the last issue won't be split. I am still a bit confused about the whole thing, but that could have to do with the missing issue. Or the whole, you know, Mystery part. Or maybe bad writing. I guess I'll find out next issue.
$3.99. 48 pages. 9 pages of ads (plus the DC Nation page). Inside of both covers, plus the back coves, are also ads. Mostly other DC products, but there are the odd video game or military recruitment ads thrown in. The cover artwork for Aquaman: Sword of Atlantis is beautiful. Absolutely stunning. It makes me sad to know that is not what the inside art is going to look at. I buy very few comics based on art alone, but I would buy this.
The Countdown ads are amusing. A solid orange page, a related graphic on the bottom, and a blurb at top.
Poor Jimmy! (The other one is "The Search For Ray Palmer"). With reguards to the 52 ad: No, I have not solved the mystery yet, thank you very much. And good thing for you, because it keeps me reading!
Sandman Mystery Theatre: Sleep of Reason
Limited series. 4 of 5.
Yeah, I'm sorry for reviewing all these next-to-last-issues of convoluted "mystery" stories. That's just what I've been reading this week! I was a little iffy about Sandman at first. I wanted the gas mask Sandman! Oh, wait! This is the gas mask Sandman! Calloh, callay! But it's not the old gas mask Sandman, although the story is split pretty evenly between modern-time and flashback, and the flashback segment is the old gas mask Sandman. In flashback Sandman, retired gas-mask Sandman and the love of his life is visiting the middle east, and love of his life is kidnapped and held for ransom. He rescues her, kicks a lot of ass, and Masad, the main villain of both segments, learns about the Sandman's gas gun, which he wants for his own. In the modern segment, a reporter takes up the gas mask and gas gun to foil Masad's modern mechanisms. Masad continuously tries to force the Sandman into situations where he must directly kill his opponents to success, and Sandman, who refuses to kill, works around them. I've enjoyed the story so far, and I like seeing heroes who will not kill.
$2.99. 32 pages, 9 ads plus the Vertigo 'talk' page, ads on the inside of both covers and the back cover. With the exception of two video game advertisements, all ads are for other Vertigo books. As a side note, the separation between DC's Vertigo line and their regular line amuses me. I realize that Vertigo was originally the line of comics for "mature" readers (implying, I guess, that the other comics were for "immature" readers) but these days, really the only kids comics that DC makes are their DC Kids line. There is still a distinct difference in flavor between the two lines, though.
Less tights in the Vertigo comics, for one.
Spider-Man: Reign
Limited series. 4 of 4
Yes! Because it's not enough that I just covered two next-to-last issues in a row, now I'm going to cover a last issue for you!
When Spider-Man: Reign started, Mike (owner of my local comic book shop) predicted that this would "do for Spider-Man what Dark Knight Returns did for Batman." Now that this series is over, I have to say... "Nuh." It was good! Don't get me wrong, it was very good! And while there are definitely some similarities (an older version of a familiar character once more takes up the costume in response to a dark future) it's still a very different comic book. This is a good thing, in my opinion. Spider-Man, at his core, is a very different kind of character from the Batman. Batman was, from the start, supposed to be a weird, dark avenger of the night. Spider-Man was a kid with a screwed up life who gets superpowers (which screw up his life even more). Spider-Man, and the concept of Spider-Man, never appealed to me quite as much, but they are both very compelling characters in very different ways. Spider-Man: Reign is not Dark Knight Returns for Spider-Man. Spider-Man: Reign is Spider-Man: Reign. Both, though, are about making the characters again what they were in the beginning. The Dark Knight Returns made Batman a weird avenger of the night once more. And what has Spider-Man always been about?
"With great power there comes great responsibility."
I enjoyed it and, amazingly, the issues came out on schedule. I expect to be seeing the trade soon. I probably won't buy it because, well, I have the individual issues.
$3.99. 48 pages. Six ads, plus both inside covers and the back covers. DVDs, military recruitment, cars, Old Spice. Only one actually related to Marvel.
Tales of the Unexpected, Featuring The Spectre Plus Dr. 13
Limited series. 6 of 8.
I've raved about this comic before. I know I have. It was awesome then. It continues to be awesome. If the last Spectre series comes out in trade, and you guys spot it, you should buy it. If this comes out in trade, and you guys spot it. You should buy it. It's good.
Once more, this is actually a mystery comic. Crispus Allen, one time cop, now supernatural agent of God's vengeance, continues to try to uncover the full story behind the death of the slum lord Krieger. Sure, he's found some of the guilty, but the story goes deeper, and as an agent of vengeance, he's tied to that place until the full story has come to light. Meanwhile, he goes out hunting others. In this issue the Stranger shows up and warns that Crispus is flirting with madness (and really, the sorts of things he has to witness...). When Crispus is not the Spectre, but just a ghost, he can't act in the physical world. He follows around soon-to-be murders, waiting for the moment when he can exact vengeance, frustrated by the fact that he can't prevent the need for it. Each issue is a semi-self contained story connected by a larger thread, and the longer things go on, the more it seems that everyone is guilty in some way. But then, isn't that just like a fictional cop's thinking?
The second story in Tales of the Unexpected has been Dr. 13 in Architecture & Mortality. It's been a hilarious story so far, featuring frozen cave men, angsty, good-guy vampires, flying ghost pirate ships, ghost confederates, giant stone Mount Rushmore monsters, Infectious Lass, and talking Nazi gorillas. Oh, and Dr. 13, professional skeptic, although he's finally gotten to the point where he's willing to accept the existence as the others. It's been a great ride so far, but last issue things finally started to make a bizarre sort of sense. The gang finally got a hold of a bunch of dimes for Genius Jones, a kid who was shipwrecked on an island with all the books in the world. He read every one, and now knows every thing. He'll answer any question for a dime, but won't take any other form of money (won't answer ten questions for a dollar, for example). So last issue, some questions got answered:
Traci (Dr. 13's daughter): "Why are we here?"
Genius Jones: "Because the architects don't believe we need to exist. None of us fit into their plan. Not you or you or..."
Confederate ghost: "Who are the architects?"
Genius Jones: "The ones who decide who's who, and who isn't. They are the official guides of the universe. When it was decided that one fashioned by the architects that preceded them didn't make cents, they knocked the old one down and built a new one. This is the forth time it's happened-- in this universe. There's another universe that these architects are at war with. One that reinvents itself every summer- so 'things will never be the same again,' it claims."
Now here's where I justify my spoiler cut: Ladies and gentlemen, we have now discovered what happens to DC characters that have been retconned out of existence. I'm a little confused about the four rebuilds. Obviously Crisis on Infinite Earths, Zero Hour, and Infinite Crisis make up three of them. Perhaps the forth was the difference between Golden Age DC and Silver Age DC (the large number of differences there being the whole reason there were multiple DC timelines to begin with)? Not so sure about that. As for the other universe they're at war with? Unlike DC, Marvel doesn't go in for the massive rewrites of their past continuity, but when I stopped to think about it, they do seem to make the claim, "Things will never be the same!" a lot more often than DC does. I'm not saying DC never makes that claim (wasn't the tagline for Crisis on Infinite Earths something like, "Worlds will live, worlds will die, and nothing will ever be the same again"?), but when I sat and thought about it, it seemed a lot less regular. So Dr. 13, the vampire, and the Nazi gorilla head off into what appears to be some sort of cosmic, inter-reality subway to go find the Architects and make their case for existing while everyone else stays to deal with the giant monster Rushmore.
That last panel got a huge "BWAHAHAHA!" from me. Okay, I don't recognize that chick leaning against the guy with the thick framed glasses and the big "S" shaped curl of hair in the middle of his forehead, but every one else is amusingly recognizable. I would like to point out, by the way, that there have been no more jabs at Marvel than there have been at DC itself. And all around, it's been very cute. I look forward to seeing how this wraps up.
$3.99. 48 pages. 9 ads, plus the DC nation page. Also ads on the inside of both covers and the back cover. Military recruitment and video games, although most of the ads are for other comics. Three are dedicated to Countdown. One in particular just cracked me up.
I mean, really. Superdickery.com using that as the heading for one of their galleries was amusing enough, but I find DC using the title of the book that nearly destroyed the American Comic Book industry to sell comic books simply hilarious. I'm probably the only one who finds it that funny, though. The other two are "Villains Defiant" and "Unto Man Shall Come... A Great Disaster."
52
52 issue limited series. Week Forty-Five.
... Guh.
Mmmmmmmmm-guh.
Blur-yurgle-guh.
Yeah, sorry. Language appears to be failing me here. In a good way. Dear lord, I never thought they could make me feel sorry for Black Adam. And they got me to feel sorry for him... while he's murdering millions of people. Christ. Sobek had me so totally fooled. And I liked Isis and Osiris, even if Isis felt very much like a Mary Sue. Of course, when Mary Sues die dramatically in the arms of the man they've redeemed with the power of their love, the man in question usually resolves to become a better man in their memory. The Mary Sues don't typically say, "You know what? I was wrong. You didn't need redeeming. Go kill those assholes. Avenge us. The world's a fucked up place, now you go out there and kick it's ass for being fucked up." I am, of course, paraphrasing a bit. So anyway, in this issue Black Adam embarks on his mission of revenge. World War III won't be far behind, and I've got goosebumps. 52 has been an awesome series. Sure, some issues have been better than others, but one of the strengths of the weekly format is that, even if you have one issue that's a bit off, it won't be long before the next one's back and, usually, better. Another of the strengths of this format is that it would have taken years to develop that situation with the Black Marvel family and Sobek and so on otherwise. Now in a few short months they've introduced several totally new characters, got the reader interested in them, and killed them suddenly and horribly! That's just... wow.
We're on week forty-five. It makes me a little sad to think that there will only be seven more issues of this incredible series. At least there will be another weekly comic to fill the gap! Countdown is supposed to be less of a continuing story line and more multiple little stories, but I do have high hopes for it, as I've always liked Paul Dini's work. I find even his mediocre stuff to be good by any other standards (and here I'm thinking both about his work on Detective Comics and on the various DC animated series), and his good work is awesome. So here's hoping.
$2.50. 32 pages. 9 ads, plus DC nation. Ads on the insides of both covers, and the back cover. Mostly DC ads (three of them for Countdown). Also, military recruitment, anti-drug ads, and a RPG/miniatures game type thing.
And... that's it for this week. Don't expect another one of these next week, darnit!
Spoilers and graphics behind the cuts. Big spoilers.
Grimm Fairy Tales #13
Grimm Fairy Tales is one of my "dirty little secret" comic books. Sure, I'm perfectly willing to openly admit to reading about big beefy men running around in skin-tight uniforms (I guess the question here is, "Why aren't there more adult female comic book readers?"), and I've never been one to dismiss fairy tales as "kid's stuff," but one look at any one of the covers is enough to tell you who the intended audience for these books are.
The covers all have a certain sameness to them. You have a long-haired, busty female (who looks nothing like her corresponding character inside the book) wearing a lingerie-like outfit (that looks nothing like anything her corresponding character actually wears inside the book) being threatened by a largish monster of some sort (who often actually does resemble his corresponding character inside the book). The elements are all set up in such a way that you can clearly see what fairy tale the story is referencing. In this case, Beauty and the Beast. Not every cover follows all of the elements, but the busty-female-in-skanty-clothes-and-a-dress-that-goes-up-to-her-woo-woo is present on every cover except for one (The Jack and the Beanstalk issue lacked a chick on its cover. Coincidently, it was, in my opinion, one of the best issues). I suppose it's appropriate. Supposedly, most of the old fairy tales were ultimately about sex, so it only makes sense that they'd use sex to sell a comic about fairy tales.
The inside of each issue is pretty formulaic as well. Start with random modern situation where a person is faced with some sort of moral or life choice. Random dark-haired, busty lit teacher pops up and gives that person a book of fairy tales and tells them to read a particular story, always claiming that her version is the "real" version. Person reads fairy tale, which is much darker than the cleaned-up version that kids are shown, not generally the real version, contains a situation that vaguely resembles the situation that the reader is in, and often ends with something horrible happening to the reader-equivalent-character as a result of making their particular situation wrong. Jump back to modern reader, who either (1) realizes what an idiot they've been and makes the right decision, (2) dismisses the story as just a fairy tale and dies horribly, or (3) realizes what an idiot they've been, and still dies horribly because they've realized it too late.
The biggest problem this series faces is the fact that it's a twist-ending series, and twist-ending stories have become so over-used and trite that all the force of the twist-endings have gone out of them. This is not to say that it's impossible, in this day and age, to write a good twist-ending story, but these guys mostly just seem to be following a fairly uninspired formula.
This issue has a different artist than the one I've seen previously. The style appears to be water-color, but for all I know it could be computer graphics made to look like water color. In general I like it better than their previous stuff, although it does look like when this guy got the job, he was told, "Hey, man, our previous artist wasn't emphasizing cleavage enough, so we need you to work on that. Oh, and throw in a few random panty shots here and there, too. Last guy didn't do enough of that."
I really don't know if the artist was also told that the issue needed more random shots of Kermit the Frog and R2-D2 in the background, or if the artist just decided that for themselves. Probably the latter.
$2.99, 28 pages. The last five pages and inside back cover are taken up by ads, but that's considerably less ads than you normally see in a Big Two comic, and all ads are for other Zenescope comics. I have no idea how regularly it's supposed to come out. It felt like I had to weight several months between issue 10 and 11, and then again between 11 and 12, but 12 and 13 were only a week apart. So apparently their publishing schedule is, "Whenever we damn feel like making a comic book."
Now, given this over-all negative review, folks might wonder why I bother to continue buying them. The answer is pretty simple: it's rare enough to find dark, violent, adult takes of fairy tales. I like dark, violent, adult takes on fairy tales, and if I have to put up with chessecaking them up and formulaic handlings, I'm willing to go that far. Also, they're fun to laugh at.
Civil War: The Initiative
One Shot
Civil War has taken Marvel into strange, morally ambiguous territory, and they appear to be perfectly content to continue to wallow in it. I haven't made up my mind as to whether it's a good thing or not. For many people, it may be. For me, a big part of why I stopped reading Marvel is because I got sick of their dark, good-guys-may-be-bad-guys-or-at-least-constantly-mistaken-for-them-and-oppressed-and-feared-and-hated-by-the-world-they-have-sworn-to-protect view on comics. Which is strange, because that same world view was once what drew me to Marvel to begin with. The Marvel Universe has always been more... realistic than the DC Universe (here I'm talking about society reactions and characterization, not, obviously, physics and things like that). When I was younger, a persecuted youth (not really, but all youths feel like their persecuted), that was part of the draw, and now, as an adult and part of "the establishment," I prefer my escapist entertainment to be more of an escape. That said, Marvel seems to have split their universe into two. You've got the rebel heroes for the young rebel anti-establishment readers, and the gov'ment heroes for the pro-establishment heroes. There's something for everybody! Or something for somebody, at least. Like I said, I really haven't made up my mind what to think. Most of the Marvel characters that appealed to me when I was a younger reader have been so changed or out-and-out ruined over the years that I'm not interested in going back for them, and none of the new handlings have out and out jumped out at me.
Anyway, enough rambling about Marvel in general, and on to this comic book. Civil War: The Initiative is to Civil War what Brave New World was to Infinite Crisis: it's a collection of part-stories intended to give readers a survey-taste of what's to come. There's really rather little that jumps out at me, but then, there was little that jumped out at me from Brave New World, and yet I'm still reading the New Atom.
The first segment is the one that caught my interest the most, but I always did love Alpha Flight (random tangent: Mike's got many many copies of the original Alpha Flight #1, and is going to sell one to me for four bucks! I had that comic as a kid, gave it away to a friend in Germany, and have regretted it ever since). I'm a bit curious about this new "Omega Flight," especially given that more than half of the characters don't actually appear to be, well, Canadian. It appears that Omega Flight is working with Stark's registered heroes, which is kind of... odd, given that some of the members of Omega Flight were shown at the end of Civil War to be moving to Canada specifically to avoid registration.
Next we have the Thunderbolts preview, which is a collection of villains being used by the pro-registration government to track down, kick the asses of, and capture unregistered, rogue "heroes." I may look into it, but it didn't jump out at me as much as Omega Flight did.
Third preview is either a Ms. Marvel preview or Iron Man's Avengers preview. Not sure which. This segment was very obviously written by Bendis, and mostly centers around Ms. Marvel trying to get Spider-Girl-or-Woman-or-Whatever to turn herself in. In it, Ms. Marvel claims that Captain America isn't dead. She may be lying out her ass. I've got no clue. Bendis is often praised over his realistic handling of conversation but, while it doesn't bug me to be reading that handling in, say, a cop drama, I'm not really sure I like seeing it in superhero. I've also always been strongly of the opinion that if you can't use a word in a comic book, don't. Don't "%^#$" to cover up the word you can't use. Use a stand-in, like 'feck' or whatever. Sure, it's not realistic speak, but neither is "%^#$." (And just how do you pronounce "%^#$", anyway?) But that's just a personal pet peeve. I'm sure there are plenty of people who prefer their %^#$ing %^#$s.
Next preview is of Iron Man: Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. It's really short.
Next up is The Mighty Avengers preview (so I guess the other one was Ms. Marvel after all). It's also really short, and involves very Bendis-esque conversation. Black Widow's costume is discussed.
We then have a run-down of how awesome Captain America is, and, for those who haven't heard yet, there's a spoiler. Apparently he gets shot by a sniper or some such. Then there's another really short, no-words Omega Flight preview, and an Avengers: The Initiative preview. Neither grab me.
$4.99, 64 pages. This is one big difference between this issue and Brave New World. DC charged us about a buck (if I remember rightly) for what was, essentially, a collection of advertisements for their upcoming comics. Marvel charges five bucks for the same "privilege." Gee, thank you, Marvel! Even if you pretend that every page was not, in a manner of speaking, an advertisement, there are still 13 pages devoted to ads, plus the insides of both covers and the back cover. Most are dedicated to other Marvel-related products (comics, movies, etc), and beyond that there's an Army recruitment ad, a couple of car ads, DVDs and video games. If there's anyone left on this planet who still thinks that comic books are strictly for children, they... probably aren't opening them up to see the sorts of things being advertised them anyway, and so will continue in their blissful ignorance. Ah, well.
Mystery In Space with Captain Comet Plus: The Weird
Limited Series. 7 of 8.
I started reading this with issue four, I think, getting all the back-issues at once. I'm still missing issue two, I think it is, and that makes me very sad. It doesn't seem like a particularly mysterious mystery... well, okay, there are some things I haven't figured out yet, so I guess it is. It's certainly in space, and certainly involves Captain Comet. Obviously he didn't stay dead after Infinite Crisis (was anyone expecting him to?), but he is no longer a geezer and his powers have changed. I've been enjoying the series... I wouldn't call it great or anything, but it's been interesting. I can't really say much about this issue, though, because it wouldn't make much sense without summarizing the whole series, and it's kind of convoluted in places. Captain Comet has to deal with the Church of Orzhov, er, the Eternal Light Corporation (Magic fans will get the joke - that's all of two of you, I think), a religion built on money. They've got an Evil Scheme(tm) to take over the universe with an army of psychic Captain Comet clones. There are aliens, talking dogs, space fights, space-station fights, and lots of people die horribly. A good time for all! Besides, they're rich aliens, so we shouldn't really care about them. I haven't been liking the Weird segments so much, but they are closely tied in to the primary story, and the last issue won't be split. I am still a bit confused about the whole thing, but that could have to do with the missing issue. Or the whole, you know, Mystery part. Or maybe bad writing. I guess I'll find out next issue.
$3.99. 48 pages. 9 pages of ads (plus the DC Nation page). Inside of both covers, plus the back coves, are also ads. Mostly other DC products, but there are the odd video game or military recruitment ads thrown in. The cover artwork for Aquaman: Sword of Atlantis is beautiful. Absolutely stunning. It makes me sad to know that is not what the inside art is going to look at. I buy very few comics based on art alone, but I would buy this.
The Countdown ads are amusing. A solid orange page, a related graphic on the bottom, and a blurb at top.
Poor Jimmy! (The other one is "The Search For Ray Palmer"). With reguards to the 52 ad: No, I have not solved the mystery yet, thank you very much. And good thing for you, because it keeps me reading!
Sandman Mystery Theatre: Sleep of Reason
Limited series. 4 of 5.
Yeah, I'm sorry for reviewing all these next-to-last-issues of convoluted "mystery" stories. That's just what I've been reading this week! I was a little iffy about Sandman at first. I wanted the gas mask Sandman! Oh, wait! This is the gas mask Sandman! Calloh, callay! But it's not the old gas mask Sandman, although the story is split pretty evenly between modern-time and flashback, and the flashback segment is the old gas mask Sandman. In flashback Sandman, retired gas-mask Sandman and the love of his life is visiting the middle east, and love of his life is kidnapped and held for ransom. He rescues her, kicks a lot of ass, and Masad, the main villain of both segments, learns about the Sandman's gas gun, which he wants for his own. In the modern segment, a reporter takes up the gas mask and gas gun to foil Masad's modern mechanisms. Masad continuously tries to force the Sandman into situations where he must directly kill his opponents to success, and Sandman, who refuses to kill, works around them. I've enjoyed the story so far, and I like seeing heroes who will not kill.
$2.99. 32 pages, 9 ads plus the Vertigo 'talk' page, ads on the inside of both covers and the back cover. With the exception of two video game advertisements, all ads are for other Vertigo books. As a side note, the separation between DC's Vertigo line and their regular line amuses me. I realize that Vertigo was originally the line of comics for "mature" readers (implying, I guess, that the other comics were for "immature" readers) but these days, really the only kids comics that DC makes are their DC Kids line. There is still a distinct difference in flavor between the two lines, though.
Less tights in the Vertigo comics, for one.
Spider-Man: Reign
Limited series. 4 of 4
Yes! Because it's not enough that I just covered two next-to-last issues in a row, now I'm going to cover a last issue for you!
When Spider-Man: Reign started, Mike (owner of my local comic book shop) predicted that this would "do for Spider-Man what Dark Knight Returns did for Batman." Now that this series is over, I have to say... "Nuh." It was good! Don't get me wrong, it was very good! And while there are definitely some similarities (an older version of a familiar character once more takes up the costume in response to a dark future) it's still a very different comic book. This is a good thing, in my opinion. Spider-Man, at his core, is a very different kind of character from the Batman. Batman was, from the start, supposed to be a weird, dark avenger of the night. Spider-Man was a kid with a screwed up life who gets superpowers (which screw up his life even more). Spider-Man, and the concept of Spider-Man, never appealed to me quite as much, but they are both very compelling characters in very different ways. Spider-Man: Reign is not Dark Knight Returns for Spider-Man. Spider-Man: Reign is Spider-Man: Reign. Both, though, are about making the characters again what they were in the beginning. The Dark Knight Returns made Batman a weird avenger of the night once more. And what has Spider-Man always been about?
"With great power there comes great responsibility."
I enjoyed it and, amazingly, the issues came out on schedule. I expect to be seeing the trade soon. I probably won't buy it because, well, I have the individual issues.
$3.99. 48 pages. Six ads, plus both inside covers and the back covers. DVDs, military recruitment, cars, Old Spice. Only one actually related to Marvel.
Tales of the Unexpected, Featuring The Spectre Plus Dr. 13
Limited series. 6 of 8.
I've raved about this comic before. I know I have. It was awesome then. It continues to be awesome. If the last Spectre series comes out in trade, and you guys spot it, you should buy it. If this comes out in trade, and you guys spot it. You should buy it. It's good.
Once more, this is actually a mystery comic. Crispus Allen, one time cop, now supernatural agent of God's vengeance, continues to try to uncover the full story behind the death of the slum lord Krieger. Sure, he's found some of the guilty, but the story goes deeper, and as an agent of vengeance, he's tied to that place until the full story has come to light. Meanwhile, he goes out hunting others. In this issue the Stranger shows up and warns that Crispus is flirting with madness (and really, the sorts of things he has to witness...). When Crispus is not the Spectre, but just a ghost, he can't act in the physical world. He follows around soon-to-be murders, waiting for the moment when he can exact vengeance, frustrated by the fact that he can't prevent the need for it. Each issue is a semi-self contained story connected by a larger thread, and the longer things go on, the more it seems that everyone is guilty in some way. But then, isn't that just like a fictional cop's thinking?
The second story in Tales of the Unexpected has been Dr. 13 in Architecture & Mortality. It's been a hilarious story so far, featuring frozen cave men, angsty, good-guy vampires, flying ghost pirate ships, ghost confederates, giant stone Mount Rushmore monsters, Infectious Lass, and talking Nazi gorillas. Oh, and Dr. 13, professional skeptic, although he's finally gotten to the point where he's willing to accept the existence as the others. It's been a great ride so far, but last issue things finally started to make a bizarre sort of sense. The gang finally got a hold of a bunch of dimes for Genius Jones, a kid who was shipwrecked on an island with all the books in the world. He read every one, and now knows every thing. He'll answer any question for a dime, but won't take any other form of money (won't answer ten questions for a dollar, for example). So last issue, some questions got answered:
Traci (Dr. 13's daughter): "Why are we here?"
Genius Jones: "Because the architects don't believe we need to exist. None of us fit into their plan. Not you or you or..."
Confederate ghost: "Who are the architects?"
Genius Jones: "The ones who decide who's who, and who isn't. They are the official guides of the universe. When it was decided that one fashioned by the architects that preceded them didn't make cents, they knocked the old one down and built a new one. This is the forth time it's happened-- in this universe. There's another universe that these architects are at war with. One that reinvents itself every summer- so 'things will never be the same again,' it claims."
Now here's where I justify my spoiler cut: Ladies and gentlemen, we have now discovered what happens to DC characters that have been retconned out of existence. I'm a little confused about the four rebuilds. Obviously Crisis on Infinite Earths, Zero Hour, and Infinite Crisis make up three of them. Perhaps the forth was the difference between Golden Age DC and Silver Age DC (the large number of differences there being the whole reason there were multiple DC timelines to begin with)? Not so sure about that. As for the other universe they're at war with? Unlike DC, Marvel doesn't go in for the massive rewrites of their past continuity, but when I stopped to think about it, they do seem to make the claim, "Things will never be the same!" a lot more often than DC does. I'm not saying DC never makes that claim (wasn't the tagline for Crisis on Infinite Earths something like, "Worlds will live, worlds will die, and nothing will ever be the same again"?), but when I sat and thought about it, it seemed a lot less regular. So Dr. 13, the vampire, and the Nazi gorilla head off into what appears to be some sort of cosmic, inter-reality subway to go find the Architects and make their case for existing while everyone else stays to deal with the giant monster Rushmore.
That last panel got a huge "BWAHAHAHA!" from me. Okay, I don't recognize that chick leaning against the guy with the thick framed glasses and the big "S" shaped curl of hair in the middle of his forehead, but every one else is amusingly recognizable. I would like to point out, by the way, that there have been no more jabs at Marvel than there have been at DC itself. And all around, it's been very cute. I look forward to seeing how this wraps up.
$3.99. 48 pages. 9 ads, plus the DC nation page. Also ads on the inside of both covers and the back cover. Military recruitment and video games, although most of the ads are for other comics. Three are dedicated to Countdown. One in particular just cracked me up.
I mean, really. Superdickery.com using that as the heading for one of their galleries was amusing enough, but I find DC using the title of the book that nearly destroyed the American Comic Book industry to sell comic books simply hilarious. I'm probably the only one who finds it that funny, though. The other two are "Villains Defiant" and "Unto Man Shall Come... A Great Disaster."
52
52 issue limited series. Week Forty-Five.
... Guh.
Mmmmmmmmm-guh.
Blur-yurgle-guh.
Yeah, sorry. Language appears to be failing me here. In a good way. Dear lord, I never thought they could make me feel sorry for Black Adam. And they got me to feel sorry for him... while he's murdering millions of people. Christ. Sobek had me so totally fooled. And I liked Isis and Osiris, even if Isis felt very much like a Mary Sue. Of course, when Mary Sues die dramatically in the arms of the man they've redeemed with the power of their love, the man in question usually resolves to become a better man in their memory. The Mary Sues don't typically say, "You know what? I was wrong. You didn't need redeeming. Go kill those assholes. Avenge us. The world's a fucked up place, now you go out there and kick it's ass for being fucked up." I am, of course, paraphrasing a bit. So anyway, in this issue Black Adam embarks on his mission of revenge. World War III won't be far behind, and I've got goosebumps. 52 has been an awesome series. Sure, some issues have been better than others, but one of the strengths of the weekly format is that, even if you have one issue that's a bit off, it won't be long before the next one's back and, usually, better. Another of the strengths of this format is that it would have taken years to develop that situation with the Black Marvel family and Sobek and so on otherwise. Now in a few short months they've introduced several totally new characters, got the reader interested in them, and killed them suddenly and horribly! That's just... wow.
We're on week forty-five. It makes me a little sad to think that there will only be seven more issues of this incredible series. At least there will be another weekly comic to fill the gap! Countdown is supposed to be less of a continuing story line and more multiple little stories, but I do have high hopes for it, as I've always liked Paul Dini's work. I find even his mediocre stuff to be good by any other standards (and here I'm thinking both about his work on Detective Comics and on the various DC animated series), and his good work is awesome. So here's hoping.
$2.50. 32 pages. 9 ads, plus DC nation. Ads on the insides of both covers, and the back cover. Mostly DC ads (three of them for Countdown). Also, military recruitment, anti-drug ads, and a RPG/miniatures game type thing.
And... that's it for this week. Don't expect another one of these next week, darnit!