365 Days of Love Rants
day 40 : lately
pg
lately || 1316wc
I rested the mug filled with hot chocolate on the study table next to me; the ghostly vapour rises and still can be witness by naked eye. I scroll down the mouse, slowly drowning in the facts and the diagrams of an article. I halted my reading, and sipped my warm beverage when I realised, the taste was unusual to my taste bud, the slightly boiling substance burnt my tongue and I slowly downed the bitter tasting drink. I realised I hadn’t put milk, a habit that I used to do when he was around. The fact that my old habit had died away constricted my breathing and my vision was blurring with tiny droplets of tears accumulating on the lids. Somehow I managed to gurgle down the substance, and then it struck me that it hadn’t been a week since we had decided to depart to our respective road; perhaps I was weak without his solid arms clasping me securely. Perhaps without his warmth that he engulfs me with, I had turned to this cold person with the slackening one of most important ingredient in a dish: Love.
The reading was put aside as I wrapped myself with fake warmth emitted by the fleece coat grabbing the mufflers and the red scarf whose the other pair was with the person who had went away. As I tangled the red scarf around my neck, his scent populated my mind fuzzily, and my blank mind had been thrown with various colours forming an abstract masterpiece.
Perhaps visiting our place of history would subside this longing and regrets. Somehow, my hopes in meeting him riled up in a neat stacks of stairs headed to happiness and pure bliss as a smile curved on my lips , but suddenly the boulder of reality was dropped and the pessimism had once again took over my thinking, I cursed myself for such a sanguine expectation.
~
“Minho, Minho what do you think off this?”A woman sashayed a sequined white dress accentuated her curvatures at the right place. But, I was aimlessly looking outwards, had lost interest after the 2nd dress she had donned in order to look seductive. One person doesn’t need those tight, skimpy clothing to make him look irresistible, Taemin. I shook my head off, there’s nothing left between us.
“MINHO, what do you think of this dress?”The women whined just like the spoilt heiress she is, with her arms on her waist bending down, exposing her cleavage for me to view. I clicked my tongue, with my eyes rolled away from that shameful act.
“You look cheap.”I muttered the acrid remark, tasting victory on the tip of my tongue. It was the truth, as I rose from my seat and went out of the luxurious boutique, and when I opened the door to my freedom, I could hear her high heels stomping on the boutique carpeted floor and I could imagine the priceless look on her face.
I couldn’t care less, I was in fact complacent with my achievement, as I romped to the place where comfort resides and where my first love story blossomed and wilted, tightening the red scarf twisted around my neck, the one he had knitted leaving him with bruises and scars on his hand which I softly kissed each one of them, thanking him.
~
I entered the café, discarding my mufflers into my pocket, rubbing my palms together for heat. If only he was here, I wouldn’t need to do this. A light breeze tossed my hair back from my face as I turned around, he was there, as shocked as I was with his eyes bulged out which later creases to a smile and I could feel my cheeks heating up. And while the winter had seemed to drag and drag without him, suddenly it felt as if no time had passed at all.
I walked away from him as fast as my little feet and shivering body could bring me and I could feel his gaze waited there until I stood in front of the counter, watching the barista pulverising the coffee beans.
This is adverse to my whole “being out of love with him” thing, as my heart silently cheered when he was standing in the queue behind me. I ordained myself otherwise, but my feelings had gone to a default. I was ambivalent, between being distraught or consumed by a little hope this sudden meeting would bring forth.
“One hot chocolate with extra foam.”I muttered, cashing out few notes. It was different only placing order for one; I was too used to ordering for him as well. After paying, I walked past him, carrying the slightly heavy tray, with my head looking downwards on the floor avoiding his gaze. He stopped me with his arms stretched out.
“Just stay there for a minute. I’ll help you carry that.”He muttered, I tilted my head staring at him and he smiled, and the cheering in my heart doubled, amplified and echoed throughout the chambers of my heart, this wasn’t helping at all. It was odd, that I stood there patiently waiting for him.
He arrived later with his coffee, taking the tray from my hand and carried it as I trailed behind him like a lost puppy.
~
“Thank you.”He muttered in sotto voce. His eyes rested upon the porcelain mug with his fingers tracing the outlines and the textures of it nervously.
“You’re welcome.”I replied as I occupied the seat opposite him, waiting for any signs of discomfort from him.
“How are you?”I started, I realised he was wearing the red scarf, that he had knitted for both of us which he dubbed as a “couple thing.”
“I’m fine. How about you?”He sipped his beverage, foam resting on his lips, and he averted his gaze outwards on the pedestrian bunched in fleece. He was nervous, I could tell, especially with the lack of eye contact we had shared.
“I’ve had better days.”My answer had made him turned around curiously.
“Oh.”He replied, I could tell, his spirits were lifted a bit with his eyes glinting with hope as his eyes rested on the red scarf wounding around my neck and his pale cheeks were starting to being coloured in gradients of red. He sipped his beverage again, the layer of foam thicken on his lips.
Perhaps, on that moment, my heart was yearning for him more than I thought, and being few inches away from my other half, I had lost the control that I grasped tightly. I took him by surprise slanting his chin with my finger, and my lips were on him as his eyelashes fluttered against my cheek softly. The sound of the clanking plates and mugs had dissolved, the chatters of other patrons had vanished, all I could hear was his giggles and his warm breath huffing on my cheeks.
I pulled back, remain seated, waiting for his reaction, covering my face underneath the scarf just in case if he decided to slap my face. I waited and waited, but when our fingers one by one finding its partner, I knew he had forgiven me.
I looked at him, as I once again leaned forward and kissed him, when our lips meshed together, I realised I wouldn’t want to be somewhere else or in someone else’s arms. He’s my other half and he I.
We pulled back seconds later, when the crowds gathered on the windows of the café staring outwards with awe-stricken looks painted on their face. We both looked out; the first snow had fallen, just like our love story had decided it wasn’t the end.
Seeing myself smiling through your eyes
When we're together, the time flies by so fast like the ephemeral life
You and I are already over
But could it come back like the falling snow?
- Lately - Infinite
pg
lately || 1316wc
I rested the mug filled with hot chocolate on the study table next to me; the ghostly vapour rises and still can be witness by naked eye. I scroll down the mouse, slowly drowning in the facts and the diagrams of an article. I halted my reading, and sipped my warm beverage when I realised, the taste was unusual to my taste bud, the slightly boiling substance burnt my tongue and I slowly downed the bitter tasting drink. I realised I hadn’t put milk, a habit that I used to do when he was around. The fact that my old habit had died away constricted my breathing and my vision was blurring with tiny droplets of tears accumulating on the lids. Somehow I managed to gurgle down the substance, and then it struck me that it hadn’t been a week since we had decided to depart to our respective road; perhaps I was weak without his solid arms clasping me securely. Perhaps without his warmth that he engulfs me with, I had turned to this cold person with the slackening one of most important ingredient in a dish: Love.
The reading was put aside as I wrapped myself with fake warmth emitted by the fleece coat grabbing the mufflers and the red scarf whose the other pair was with the person who had went away. As I tangled the red scarf around my neck, his scent populated my mind fuzzily, and my blank mind had been thrown with various colours forming an abstract masterpiece.
Perhaps visiting our place of history would subside this longing and regrets. Somehow, my hopes in meeting him riled up in a neat stacks of stairs headed to happiness and pure bliss as a smile curved on my lips , but suddenly the boulder of reality was dropped and the pessimism had once again took over my thinking, I cursed myself for such a sanguine expectation.
~
“Minho, Minho what do you think off this?”A woman sashayed a sequined white dress accentuated her curvatures at the right place. But, I was aimlessly looking outwards, had lost interest after the 2nd dress she had donned in order to look seductive. One person doesn’t need those tight, skimpy clothing to make him look irresistible, Taemin. I shook my head off, there’s nothing left between us.
“MINHO, what do you think of this dress?”The women whined just like the spoilt heiress she is, with her arms on her waist bending down, exposing her cleavage for me to view. I clicked my tongue, with my eyes rolled away from that shameful act.
“You look cheap.”I muttered the acrid remark, tasting victory on the tip of my tongue. It was the truth, as I rose from my seat and went out of the luxurious boutique, and when I opened the door to my freedom, I could hear her high heels stomping on the boutique carpeted floor and I could imagine the priceless look on her face.
I couldn’t care less, I was in fact complacent with my achievement, as I romped to the place where comfort resides and where my first love story blossomed and wilted, tightening the red scarf twisted around my neck, the one he had knitted leaving him with bruises and scars on his hand which I softly kissed each one of them, thanking him.
~
I entered the café, discarding my mufflers into my pocket, rubbing my palms together for heat. If only he was here, I wouldn’t need to do this. A light breeze tossed my hair back from my face as I turned around, he was there, as shocked as I was with his eyes bulged out which later creases to a smile and I could feel my cheeks heating up. And while the winter had seemed to drag and drag without him, suddenly it felt as if no time had passed at all.
I walked away from him as fast as my little feet and shivering body could bring me and I could feel his gaze waited there until I stood in front of the counter, watching the barista pulverising the coffee beans.
This is adverse to my whole “being out of love with him” thing, as my heart silently cheered when he was standing in the queue behind me. I ordained myself otherwise, but my feelings had gone to a default. I was ambivalent, between being distraught or consumed by a little hope this sudden meeting would bring forth.
“One hot chocolate with extra foam.”I muttered, cashing out few notes. It was different only placing order for one; I was too used to ordering for him as well. After paying, I walked past him, carrying the slightly heavy tray, with my head looking downwards on the floor avoiding his gaze. He stopped me with his arms stretched out.
“Just stay there for a minute. I’ll help you carry that.”He muttered, I tilted my head staring at him and he smiled, and the cheering in my heart doubled, amplified and echoed throughout the chambers of my heart, this wasn’t helping at all. It was odd, that I stood there patiently waiting for him.
He arrived later with his coffee, taking the tray from my hand and carried it as I trailed behind him like a lost puppy.
~
“Thank you.”He muttered in sotto voce. His eyes rested upon the porcelain mug with his fingers tracing the outlines and the textures of it nervously.
“You’re welcome.”I replied as I occupied the seat opposite him, waiting for any signs of discomfort from him.
“How are you?”I started, I realised he was wearing the red scarf, that he had knitted for both of us which he dubbed as a “couple thing.”
“I’m fine. How about you?”He sipped his beverage, foam resting on his lips, and he averted his gaze outwards on the pedestrian bunched in fleece. He was nervous, I could tell, especially with the lack of eye contact we had shared.
“I’ve had better days.”My answer had made him turned around curiously.
“Oh.”He replied, I could tell, his spirits were lifted a bit with his eyes glinting with hope as his eyes rested on the red scarf wounding around my neck and his pale cheeks were starting to being coloured in gradients of red. He sipped his beverage again, the layer of foam thicken on his lips.
Perhaps, on that moment, my heart was yearning for him more than I thought, and being few inches away from my other half, I had lost the control that I grasped tightly. I took him by surprise slanting his chin with my finger, and my lips were on him as his eyelashes fluttered against my cheek softly. The sound of the clanking plates and mugs had dissolved, the chatters of other patrons had vanished, all I could hear was his giggles and his warm breath huffing on my cheeks.
I pulled back, remain seated, waiting for his reaction, covering my face underneath the scarf just in case if he decided to slap my face. I waited and waited, but when our fingers one by one finding its partner, I knew he had forgiven me.
I looked at him, as I once again leaned forward and kissed him, when our lips meshed together, I realised I wouldn’t want to be somewhere else or in someone else’s arms. He’s my other half and he I.
We pulled back seconds later, when the crowds gathered on the windows of the café staring outwards with awe-stricken looks painted on their face. We both looked out; the first snow had fallen, just like our love story had decided it wasn’t the end.
Seeing myself smiling through your eyes
When we're together, the time flies by so fast like the ephemeral life
You and I are already over
But could it come back like the falling snow?
- Lately - Infinite