Of Jimmy Choo's and Runaways

[sapi_is_a_freak]

Of Jimmy Choo's and Runaways
Title: Of Jimmy Choo's and Runaways
Characters Line-Up
Pairing:(girl!Taemin/Minho)+(girl!Taemin/Jonghyun)+(girl!Key/Onew)
Disclaimer:I only own this story.
Summary:A story of branded fetish,brainless models and finding where you belong.
A/n: Just an idea I had for a long time,this is a cross-post from AFF

Comments

[ninaloveonew]

Hey, youre back with new fic~ i like the story, there must 2minjong (sounds weird) triangle love ne? and im happy that you put my fave couple in it - its jinki and gwiboon- continue the story~ oh, and im waiting 4 your previous fic too, you havent ended it right?

[sapi_is_a_freak]

thanks but i have more too improve^^
owh, you like onkey as well.
nope , not yet, I hope I can post them as soon as possible.

[dainjay]

It's good, but the narrative is quite dragging on the 2nd paragraph, because the narrative seems to tell the history of her life instead of showing it.

It is better if her life wasn't slapped on one paragraph. Imbibe it as the story goes on. The story is common with some kdrama and so to be able not to make is cliche withhold some information and push some forward, while revealing the withheld information as the story unfolds.

The line breaks and the sentences breaks are helpful too. The font is small but then the paragraphs are packed. line breaks are also helpful creating a tone in the narrative.

I have questions though: morning, but it says 6pm. (1st paragraph). Then she went to Eton? "She soon acquainted with Jared and Key as she entered Eton" (2nd Paragraph)
As far as I know it is only for boys. Unless they changed the rules. Cheltenham Ladies' College is, as far as I know, is the female counter part of Eton College.

All in all it has potential. I can't wait to read about Minho and Taeyeon's meeting. :)

[sapi_is_a_freak]

sincerely thanks for pointing out my mistakes, will addresses them as soon as possible.
once again,thanks^^

[max2min]

SPOOOOTT!! OMG YOU ARE BACK!
i'll read this after meet with my lecturer.
be right back. :)

[max2min]

NAH... THIS'S VERY INTERESTING!
tara? i like that name, i wonder what was minho's name there? or still minho? lol
why taeyeon can forgot minho's name, when minho really still remember him ;____;

a ballerina and a painter is a perfect couple <3
please keep posting it on lj ;)

[ayoeflames]

Huwaah keep posting it babyyy..

[fuyukimasa]

The story line is interesting. I found you in AFF. Read the next few chapters and its a great story. Hope you continue it with your greatness ^^