overwhelmed/so alone
Im so swamped that it hurts. So buried in all the ordeals that life is throwing at me. It takes huge amounts of self-worth to get up in the morning. Im in this strange state of mind, where nothing seems rewarding and every week is a mirror image of the one before and the one after. Im walking down this endless path that repeats itself and im going nowhere. Every week, I have the same schedule, talk to the same people at the same time, i have the same reports due on the same days, and its driving me crazy. I need something different.
Since im so bored, i've messed up certain apsect of things and am working on getting my life in order. I sleep too much. It's because i don't want to get up and repeat the day before. Over sleeping results in my depression and things just downward spiral from there. Im lacking the love that i once had. I used to not only value other people's life, but my own as well. Now, it's all about everyone else. I rarely think about my fun and such. I hope that one of these days i'll just get up and fix it all and just love myself. When a person loves themself, it doesn't make them egotistical, it just motivates them to do their best and give their all. I've been half-heartedly doing everything. IT SUCKS MONKEY BALLS!!!!
I need a hug.....i miss brandon....i didn't think i would miss him so much...i thought that i would be fine, since he will be visiting, but now im finding myself lost and feeling like half of me has dissappeared. I was okay the first couple days, then last night i cried myself to sleep. This is normal. I'll feel this until i move on and accept that our friendship has moved to the long distance level. I just don't want another shannon and greg remake. I want contact and love.
Since im so bored, i've messed up certain apsect of things and am working on getting my life in order. I sleep too much. It's because i don't want to get up and repeat the day before. Over sleeping results in my depression and things just downward spiral from there. Im lacking the love that i once had. I used to not only value other people's life, but my own as well. Now, it's all about everyone else. I rarely think about my fun and such. I hope that one of these days i'll just get up and fix it all and just love myself. When a person loves themself, it doesn't make them egotistical, it just motivates them to do their best and give their all. I've been half-heartedly doing everything. IT SUCKS MONKEY BALLS!!!!
I need a hug.....i miss brandon....i didn't think i would miss him so much...i thought that i would be fine, since he will be visiting, but now im finding myself lost and feeling like half of me has dissappeared. I was okay the first couple days, then last night i cried myself to sleep. This is normal. I'll feel this until i move on and accept that our friendship has moved to the long distance level. I just don't want another shannon and greg remake. I want contact and love.