long time, no rant
"it all will fall, fall right into place..." i wish i believed...
i don't know. i don't know who i am. or what i want... and i know that that is normal, but i don't like it. and the few things i am sure of... i can't have, or don't know how to go about getting. vague... i know, but i can't explain. and i kind of don't want to. i just want to cry because i have to go back to school and i really can't put my finger on what i hate so much... *sigh*
i want someone to cuddle with me. just to care. about me. i feel lost. i want to be found.
today i dyed my hair with henna. its really red. i don't quite know how i feel about it, but its ok. i also got some really cool earrings and a new ring cause i lost my other one which made me so sad. so today i got a new one. its really fucking amazing.
hanging out with sophie and tad and ethan this weekend was amazing. my mom and sister, were less amazing... i don't know if i can deal with my family... they are out of control, and especially feeling so off balanced myself makes everything worse.
WHAT DO I WANT? why is this going on? where am i going... whats up with me. this is not who i am... i... i... i don't even know.
i don't know. i don't know who i am. or what i want... and i know that that is normal, but i don't like it. and the few things i am sure of... i can't have, or don't know how to go about getting. vague... i know, but i can't explain. and i kind of don't want to. i just want to cry because i have to go back to school and i really can't put my finger on what i hate so much... *sigh*
i want someone to cuddle with me. just to care. about me. i feel lost. i want to be found.
today i dyed my hair with henna. its really red. i don't quite know how i feel about it, but its ok. i also got some really cool earrings and a new ring cause i lost my other one which made me so sad. so today i got a new one. its really fucking amazing.
hanging out with sophie and tad and ethan this weekend was amazing. my mom and sister, were less amazing... i don't know if i can deal with my family... they are out of control, and especially feeling so off balanced myself makes everything worse.
WHAT DO I WANT? why is this going on? where am i going... whats up with me. this is not who i am... i... i... i don't even know.