so how bout that subject, huh?
In case anyone wanted to know, I'm not going to be on community council for Middle Earth next year. I didn't get elected. I kinda expected it though. I'm not the person that gets elected for anything. I'm sad about it but strangely okay. I think the thing I am saddest about is that I won't in all likelyhood be living in Middle Earth and that I won't get to be with all the awesome people I've come to love this year. Well, Que sera sera, right?
I went to pick up my Arroyo Vista contract today. I then walked around the community And it was nice. There is a creek bed running through the center and lots of chaparral plants. Reminded me of home, which is a good thing. Every place you live in needs to have a homey feeling to it else you won't be happy. And I could see myself calling AV home. Maybe its because I looked at it in a new light. It isn't second choice any more. Its the place that accepted me for me and gave me a chance to shine there. And I didn't have to work so hard to sell myself as I did for the Middle Earth jobs. I am so sick of trying to sell myself just to get a job or housing. I know that sounds bad, you (and I) need to get your (our) head(s) out of the gutter. I've never been good at the application-I'm-so-wonderful-and-you-should-accept-me-because-you're-doomed-if-you-don't thing. Which is what the election was. The voters never saw my application that I worked so hard on. I've always been one whose work proves their worth and in that sense, I never had a chance in terms of the election. I could still be an Office Assistant, which is a job that is better suited to me anyhow and a job that I would love more. But I think if I get that job, I will still live in AV. Its like my friend says, new experiences and people are good. But with the job I could keep my connection to Middle Earth should I choose to try for CP or other positions. Arroyo Vista doesn't sound so bad now, and somehow it doesn't seem so far from the world either.
As I said, I spent alot of time walking around AV today. And I also spent alot of time thinking. Exploring has always made me feel better because I feel like I can control something in my world. I had alot of time to think on the nature of home and the way things work out. My mom is a strong believer in the notion that things happen for a reason. I'm not so sure, but I do know from my history major that the results of things cannot be seen and evaulated until afterward. I cannot predict the future nor do I mean to. There is some sort of fate at work though, its not all random. But I think the reason is not to be known to me at this point and strangely enough, I'm okay with that. Some things I can control and some I can't. There are good lessons to learn here and I suppose we all have to learn them at some point.
Frodo had to leave Middle Earth and I suppose so must I. But I am not going "into the west"; I do not intend to disapear.
I went to pick up my Arroyo Vista contract today. I then walked around the community And it was nice. There is a creek bed running through the center and lots of chaparral plants. Reminded me of home, which is a good thing. Every place you live in needs to have a homey feeling to it else you won't be happy. And I could see myself calling AV home. Maybe its because I looked at it in a new light. It isn't second choice any more. Its the place that accepted me for me and gave me a chance to shine there. And I didn't have to work so hard to sell myself as I did for the Middle Earth jobs. I am so sick of trying to sell myself just to get a job or housing. I know that sounds bad, you (and I) need to get your (our) head(s) out of the gutter. I've never been good at the application-I'm-so-wonderful-and-you-should-accept-me-because-you're-doomed-if-you-don't thing. Which is what the election was. The voters never saw my application that I worked so hard on. I've always been one whose work proves their worth and in that sense, I never had a chance in terms of the election. I could still be an Office Assistant, which is a job that is better suited to me anyhow and a job that I would love more. But I think if I get that job, I will still live in AV. Its like my friend says, new experiences and people are good. But with the job I could keep my connection to Middle Earth should I choose to try for CP or other positions. Arroyo Vista doesn't sound so bad now, and somehow it doesn't seem so far from the world either.
As I said, I spent alot of time walking around AV today. And I also spent alot of time thinking. Exploring has always made me feel better because I feel like I can control something in my world. I had alot of time to think on the nature of home and the way things work out. My mom is a strong believer in the notion that things happen for a reason. I'm not so sure, but I do know from my history major that the results of things cannot be seen and evaulated until afterward. I cannot predict the future nor do I mean to. There is some sort of fate at work though, its not all random. But I think the reason is not to be known to me at this point and strangely enough, I'm okay with that. Some things I can control and some I can't. There are good lessons to learn here and I suppose we all have to learn them at some point.
Frodo had to leave Middle Earth and I suppose so must I. But I am not going "into the west"; I do not intend to disapear.