From extreme happiness to extreme sorrow
SO on my way back from seeing ryan in SLO my mom called me and asked me if I was married... Well My Love, Damien, sent me a letter addressed to Sarah Baxley "Burch"... It was so cute, filled with lots of hints about us getting married when he gets out and how much he misses me and loves me...
So I was all cheerful right?... then I randomly check my yahoo account which is hooked up to my hidden myspace account... Only to get a hateful letter from Ari, ryans roommate bestfriend and girl who ruined our relationship. She claims that I disrespected her for visiting her house and her dog. And that I messed up her safe place and that i have shown so much hatred that i should've known better. So suddenly I crumble. I finally had peaceful times with ryan and someone had to go and ruin it. Why is so much pain and badness surrounding ryan. I always end up curled in a ball wanting to kill myself.
So I wrote her back saying that I asked ryan multiple times and why there was hatred before and that I wish she knew what this would do to ryan and me. Ryan then wants to know what I wrote since I told him how bad her latter made me feel and now he is mad that I put blame on him and that I was in a way picking a fight with her. I cant handle always being wrong with what I do... I am so sad right now. One thing that lets me know that I am in love with damien is that he is what is keeping me from hurting myself. Though I am having chest pains and wanting to throwup every two seconds. I just wish i could hear his voice so that I will be ok.
I guess mistakes can never be fixed or made better... So work for the now and future, leave the past behind.. it will only leave u with tears and chest pains.
So I was all cheerful right?... then I randomly check my yahoo account which is hooked up to my hidden myspace account... Only to get a hateful letter from Ari, ryans roommate bestfriend and girl who ruined our relationship. She claims that I disrespected her for visiting her house and her dog. And that I messed up her safe place and that i have shown so much hatred that i should've known better. So suddenly I crumble. I finally had peaceful times with ryan and someone had to go and ruin it. Why is so much pain and badness surrounding ryan. I always end up curled in a ball wanting to kill myself.
So I wrote her back saying that I asked ryan multiple times and why there was hatred before and that I wish she knew what this would do to ryan and me. Ryan then wants to know what I wrote since I told him how bad her latter made me feel and now he is mad that I put blame on him and that I was in a way picking a fight with her. I cant handle always being wrong with what I do... I am so sad right now. One thing that lets me know that I am in love with damien is that he is what is keeping me from hurting myself. Though I am having chest pains and wanting to throwup every two seconds. I just wish i could hear his voice so that I will be ok.
I guess mistakes can never be fixed or made better... So work for the now and future, leave the past behind.. it will only leave u with tears and chest pains.