Tainted Sample
A Mother's Day fic that randomly came into my head while I was eating takeout Chinese. Relena is demonstrably familiar with the work in question; cf. Episode 2, "Shinigami to iu Gundam."
-category- Vignette, dialogue
-timeline- post-EW
-pairings- N/A
-warnings Tainted Sample
a vignette
"Relena, what are you doing?"
"Sorting experiment results."
"Experiment?"
"I drew this picture, made copies, and sent it around to most of my friends-or-whatnot with 'Comments?' written under it."
"But not to me."
"You're my mother. That's different. Besides -- "
"Ah. I see. Yes, it wouldn't. So what are your results?"
"Zechs wrote 'It's a hat.' Noin said 'It's not a hat, is it?' Trowa Barton said 'It's a hat,' although someone else has written on the bottom 'Ignore my stupid brother, it's obviously an elephant under a dropcloth -- CKB.'"
"Who is CKB?"
"I don't know. No one tells me anything, I'm just the diplomat."
Laughter.
"Anyway, that's it for that pile. Sally Po wrote 'It's half of a Rorschach inkblot. Did you want me to say what it looks like?' -- "
"Oh, dear."
"Dorothy said 'It's one of those little flint blades that one attaches to the body of a Neolithic sawblade flint sword, so that one may replace them on a piecemeal basis should they break. See, there's the hole for the bolt.' Sometimes I worry about Dorothy."
"I could recommend her to my clinic. The therapy really did work wonders -- "
"I don't think she'd take it, Mother. Hilde Schbeiker said 'I used to have a stain on my ceiling in the OZ recruitment dorm that was almost EXACTLY that shape.'"
"How fortunate."
"Anne didn't answer. Marimeia wrote 'Anaconda!' Wufei said that it was a snake eating a rat."
"I don't think it's really that rat-shaped."
"Nor do I. Hiiro said 'A Heffalump swallowed by a Basilisk. But I don't think its jaws unhook that far.' A basilisk? I always thought a basilisk was a sort of lizard."
"I think it's a cousin of an archaeopteryx. It's got feathers, hasn't it -- isn't that why it's also called a cockatrice?"
"Is it?"
"I think it is. And the last two?"
"Duo Maxwell drew this... crummy box with airholes... "
"Crummy?"
"It's worse than the original, and that's saying something. But I think I'll give it to Quatre anyway, considering that he wrote 'S'il vous plaît, dessine-moi un mouton.'"
"Quand j'en rencontrais une qui me paraissait un peu lucide, je faisait
l'expérience sur elle de mon dessin no. 1 que j'ai toujours conservé.
Je voulais savoir si elle était vraiment compréhensive."
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Le Petit Prince
-category- Vignette, dialogue
-timeline- post-EW
-pairings- N/A
-warnings Tainted Sample
a vignette
"Relena, what are you doing?"
"Sorting experiment results."
"Experiment?"
"I drew this picture, made copies, and sent it around to most of my friends-or-whatnot with 'Comments?' written under it."
"But not to me."
"You're my mother. That's different. Besides -- "
"Ah. I see. Yes, it wouldn't. So what are your results?"
"Zechs wrote 'It's a hat.' Noin said 'It's not a hat, is it?' Trowa Barton said 'It's a hat,' although someone else has written on the bottom 'Ignore my stupid brother, it's obviously an elephant under a dropcloth -- CKB.'"
"Who is CKB?"
"I don't know. No one tells me anything, I'm just the diplomat."
Laughter.
"Anyway, that's it for that pile. Sally Po wrote 'It's half of a Rorschach inkblot. Did you want me to say what it looks like?' -- "
"Oh, dear."
"Dorothy said 'It's one of those little flint blades that one attaches to the body of a Neolithic sawblade flint sword, so that one may replace them on a piecemeal basis should they break. See, there's the hole for the bolt.' Sometimes I worry about Dorothy."
"I could recommend her to my clinic. The therapy really did work wonders -- "
"I don't think she'd take it, Mother. Hilde Schbeiker said 'I used to have a stain on my ceiling in the OZ recruitment dorm that was almost EXACTLY that shape.'"
"How fortunate."
"Anne didn't answer. Marimeia wrote 'Anaconda!' Wufei said that it was a snake eating a rat."
"I don't think it's really that rat-shaped."
"Nor do I. Hiiro said 'A Heffalump swallowed by a Basilisk. But I don't think its jaws unhook that far.' A basilisk? I always thought a basilisk was a sort of lizard."
"I think it's a cousin of an archaeopteryx. It's got feathers, hasn't it -- isn't that why it's also called a cockatrice?"
"Is it?"
"I think it is. And the last two?"
"Duo Maxwell drew this... crummy box with airholes... "
"Crummy?"
"It's worse than the original, and that's saying something. But I think I'll give it to Quatre anyway, considering that he wrote 'S'il vous plaît, dessine-moi un mouton.'"
"Quand j'en rencontrais une qui me paraissait un peu lucide, je faisait
l'expérience sur elle de mon dessin no. 1 que j'ai toujours conservé.
Je voulais savoir si elle était vraiment compréhensive."
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Le Petit Prince