i feel like blabbing more.
im sure through all these entries, i seem like a sad little boy... there are ups and downs.. hardly any ups, but when they happen i guess they're greater because i dont expierence them much.
i just got my ticket to see fear before the march of flames, underoath, hopesfall, and the chariot. i am meeting foxay03, and krazykeri from buddypic.com, i dont know what i'm more nervous about. being deaf from all the distortion from the chariot, going in the moshpit, or seeing the girls. i guess that will be fun. i missed like four shows i wanted to go to previously, so i am happy i finally get to go.
since i'm bored, i feel like writing more about my past, my dad, and my mom.
okay, well today, i started thinking about my dad telling me i might not be his actual child, and that my mom had sex with some other dude. and i was going to bring it up with my mom, but she'd probably lie to me, or tell every person about our talk. so i either have to someday bring it up to her, or just wonder.
anyways, when i was a baby, and my brother was like 5-7 my parents got into drugs. they eventually got hooked up on them, and started selling a lot of crap from the house, to get the drugs. my dad told me (i trust him more than my mom, because it seems from him, its a sense of reality, he doesnt pull crap) that my mom would get violent sometimes. like real violent. and my dad would always go to jail, and my dad/mom would sometimes want to stop taking the drugs, but if they did, they'd have huge ass withdrawels and shake the whole building. this happened for a while... than my mom met this guy i guess, and i guess they had sex(= me being his child, instead of my dad i know) and my mom and dad would just always fight. all their money was gone on drugs (as ive told you), and one christmas, my brother told my dad santa is coming, and my dad almost cried, because he knew my brother would get no presents. christmas day my brother wakes up, runs into my dads room goes "wake up, wake up! its christmas!" he goes to the tree (which my dad stole, so he could have a x-tree) and he see's nothing. my dad starts saying sorry, and my brother goes into his room. for like 1-4 hours. he wraps things up in paper bags, all his favorite things, and gives a present to me, my dad, and my mom. and he goes "look, its christmas, see?" my dad said that was his stopping point for drugs.
one day my dad went to the store, and he came back, found my brother screaming out of his lungs, right in the middle of the street. neighbors next to him were like 'dude, you better leave. get your kid and get out' and my dad discovered my mom in my brothers room absolutely destroying everything, and my brother went out in the middle of the street to run away. eventually, my dad took my brother (he tried to take me too, for my own safety, but for some reason i was hooked on my mom) and he went to washington.
my brother was pretty much destroyed from all the stuff that had happened (i turned out much better, since i was younger and didnt really expierence it all) and he got a computer. he was on the computer 24/7. almost literally. for about 3-7 years. it was crazy, he started missing school, and everything. around when i was 4-7, my mom moved to washington, because family was there. i guess eventually she stopped doing the drugs, maybe she did it off and on after that, i dont know, but, her and my dad got to be friends again, and we visited and shiz at her house. than my dad went online, and found a black girl. they met, started dating, and my dad took my brother, and moved to seattle with her, and her kids. i saw my dad once in the 1-2 years he was there. than, they moved to kentucky, he almost NEVER called, and i never saw him. then my mother started talking to my brother online, through emails, and he moved to washignton, with us. a few months before my bro came out to live with us, my mom found a fire-fighter. she started dating him, things basically moved REAL fast. he bought us a house, a new regriater, you know, the works. unfortunately, they always fought, and my brother and i were there to see it. my brother started getting a life, he got his G.E.D, and joined the US air force, a few months later, the fire fighter my mom was seeing finally moved out, but he let us keep his car, more than half his things, the washer and dryer he bought us and everything. by this time, he was still paying the house bills, and of course he isnt going to pay for something he isnt living in, so he gave my mom a time to move out (which was a good long time to find a place; like 5-7 months) and she found a place. we moved in, and i got on the computer every single day again. (i have been on the computer almost every single day, probably average 4-8 hours since that fire fighter bought us a house..which was in 2002 or so) with all the fighting between her and the firefighter, we stopped going to church, and i stopped having a social life, and i pretty much had my life ruined.
now i am 'homeschooled' (i dont really do anything) and i hate it more than ever, so my brother will be paying for summer school, and ill do that, than go into 10th grade highschool. i'm really scared to though. i have no self esteem, and am highly self concious. but i guess i'll live?
anyways, now you pretty much know my life, and now when people ask about me, i'll just link them. i doubt most of you will read this, but for others who have, now you know i dont always joke around. i DO have another side of me, that most dont bother to release.
i just got my ticket to see fear before the march of flames, underoath, hopesfall, and the chariot. i am meeting foxay03, and krazykeri from buddypic.com, i dont know what i'm more nervous about. being deaf from all the distortion from the chariot, going in the moshpit, or seeing the girls. i guess that will be fun. i missed like four shows i wanted to go to previously, so i am happy i finally get to go.
since i'm bored, i feel like writing more about my past, my dad, and my mom.
okay, well today, i started thinking about my dad telling me i might not be his actual child, and that my mom had sex with some other dude. and i was going to bring it up with my mom, but she'd probably lie to me, or tell every person about our talk. so i either have to someday bring it up to her, or just wonder.
anyways, when i was a baby, and my brother was like 5-7 my parents got into drugs. they eventually got hooked up on them, and started selling a lot of crap from the house, to get the drugs. my dad told me (i trust him more than my mom, because it seems from him, its a sense of reality, he doesnt pull crap) that my mom would get violent sometimes. like real violent. and my dad would always go to jail, and my dad/mom would sometimes want to stop taking the drugs, but if they did, they'd have huge ass withdrawels and shake the whole building. this happened for a while... than my mom met this guy i guess, and i guess they had sex(= me being his child, instead of my dad i know) and my mom and dad would just always fight. all their money was gone on drugs (as ive told you), and one christmas, my brother told my dad santa is coming, and my dad almost cried, because he knew my brother would get no presents. christmas day my brother wakes up, runs into my dads room goes "wake up, wake up! its christmas!" he goes to the tree (which my dad stole, so he could have a x-tree) and he see's nothing. my dad starts saying sorry, and my brother goes into his room. for like 1-4 hours. he wraps things up in paper bags, all his favorite things, and gives a present to me, my dad, and my mom. and he goes "look, its christmas, see?" my dad said that was his stopping point for drugs.
one day my dad went to the store, and he came back, found my brother screaming out of his lungs, right in the middle of the street. neighbors next to him were like 'dude, you better leave. get your kid and get out' and my dad discovered my mom in my brothers room absolutely destroying everything, and my brother went out in the middle of the street to run away. eventually, my dad took my brother (he tried to take me too, for my own safety, but for some reason i was hooked on my mom) and he went to washington.
my brother was pretty much destroyed from all the stuff that had happened (i turned out much better, since i was younger and didnt really expierence it all) and he got a computer. he was on the computer 24/7. almost literally. for about 3-7 years. it was crazy, he started missing school, and everything. around when i was 4-7, my mom moved to washington, because family was there. i guess eventually she stopped doing the drugs, maybe she did it off and on after that, i dont know, but, her and my dad got to be friends again, and we visited and shiz at her house. than my dad went online, and found a black girl. they met, started dating, and my dad took my brother, and moved to seattle with her, and her kids. i saw my dad once in the 1-2 years he was there. than, they moved to kentucky, he almost NEVER called, and i never saw him. then my mother started talking to my brother online, through emails, and he moved to washignton, with us. a few months before my bro came out to live with us, my mom found a fire-fighter. she started dating him, things basically moved REAL fast. he bought us a house, a new regriater, you know, the works. unfortunately, they always fought, and my brother and i were there to see it. my brother started getting a life, he got his G.E.D, and joined the US air force, a few months later, the fire fighter my mom was seeing finally moved out, but he let us keep his car, more than half his things, the washer and dryer he bought us and everything. by this time, he was still paying the house bills, and of course he isnt going to pay for something he isnt living in, so he gave my mom a time to move out (which was a good long time to find a place; like 5-7 months) and she found a place. we moved in, and i got on the computer every single day again. (i have been on the computer almost every single day, probably average 4-8 hours since that fire fighter bought us a house..which was in 2002 or so) with all the fighting between her and the firefighter, we stopped going to church, and i stopped having a social life, and i pretty much had my life ruined.
now i am 'homeschooled' (i dont really do anything) and i hate it more than ever, so my brother will be paying for summer school, and ill do that, than go into 10th grade highschool. i'm really scared to though. i have no self esteem, and am highly self concious. but i guess i'll live?
anyways, now you pretty much know my life, and now when people ask about me, i'll just link them. i doubt most of you will read this, but for others who have, now you know i dont always joke around. i DO have another side of me, that most dont bother to release.