mizu dakara...
housemate asked why i wouldnt just move back to my cousin's place; she said i shouldnt just let him push me around if i do want to move back; plus i can safe money that way too...
it is true, she's right... i could do that, but i dont want to. rikutsu no wa... kare, ore janai =.= i want to let him be the rikutsu one, not me XDDD i mean i dont know how to say it; if it's his wish to not be disturbed, if i'm considered a disturbance to his present life, if he wont even sacrifice 2 months or so to live with me, then be that way, lol. im not like extremely concerned with the living problem, because i dont actually want to move back in the first place; the thing that i mind most was just that i was considered jama and the fact that he wont even sacrifice 2 months... lol. and i dont think moving back or not will change that =/ it's just... saddening for me, and that's it.
like... if there's a rock in the middle of a river, the water will just move beside it and go on with its journey, right? maybe in a long time the water will erode the rock, but that's another thing. what im focusing on is... i wont deliberately go against those things since it's natural like rocks in a river; if sth is in the way i go another way; if im in the way im easily removeable... maybe? lol what the hell am i talking about now =P
plus, if i move outside by myself, i hv some new experience too ^^ living on rez/with cousin all the time... i guess i should try really be 'independent' for a bit and find a flat just for myself and live by myself... (which i dont want to... i want housemates like now... >.< hitori ja sabishii... nani mo... jibun de yatte... imi nai no kanji :(
eventho i still feel sad (stupidly) whenever i think about it... it will slowly go away. whether he cares or not, lol. emo wa irimasen kara sugu ni kieru... kitto...
it is true, she's right... i could do that, but i dont want to. rikutsu no wa... kare, ore janai =.= i want to let him be the rikutsu one, not me XDDD i mean i dont know how to say it; if it's his wish to not be disturbed, if i'm considered a disturbance to his present life, if he wont even sacrifice 2 months or so to live with me, then be that way, lol. im not like extremely concerned with the living problem, because i dont actually want to move back in the first place; the thing that i mind most was just that i was considered jama and the fact that he wont even sacrifice 2 months... lol. and i dont think moving back or not will change that =/ it's just... saddening for me, and that's it.
like... if there's a rock in the middle of a river, the water will just move beside it and go on with its journey, right? maybe in a long time the water will erode the rock, but that's another thing. what im focusing on is... i wont deliberately go against those things since it's natural like rocks in a river; if sth is in the way i go another way; if im in the way im easily removeable... maybe? lol what the hell am i talking about now =P
plus, if i move outside by myself, i hv some new experience too ^^ living on rez/with cousin all the time... i guess i should try really be 'independent' for a bit and find a flat just for myself and live by myself... (which i dont want to... i want housemates like now... >.< hitori ja sabishii... nani mo... jibun de yatte... imi nai no kanji :(
eventho i still feel sad (stupidly) whenever i think about it... it will slowly go away. whether he cares or not, lol. emo wa irimasen kara sugu ni kieru... kitto...