The Excellent Wife
For my Family Living class (probably my favorite of all my classes this semester), one of the assignments (due today) is for the girls to read The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace and the guys to read The Exemplary Husband by Stuart Scott. After reading, we were supposed to write out a three to five page reading report on it, answering a couple questions about the book. I had heard of The Excellent Wife several times, but had not read it before and now I had to for school...exciting! So obviously, I ended up reading it and found it very good...excellent (imagine that!) Biblical advice for married women. And because it could be made into a post for my poor neglected blog...my report/review of the book is below. I was originally going to put it below a LJ cut, but that kept on messing it up, so I guess it'll just have to be posted as normal and make for a REALLY long post! If you read the report/review, let me know what you think of it...and if you've read The Excellent Wife before, I'd love to know your opinion on it! So without any further ado...here you are...
Reading Report for The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace
1. Write down the most important insights and principles presented by the author of the book.
God’s plan for the role of a wife is clearly outlined in Scripture and can and should be obeyed. A wife who fulfills this role is worth more than precious jewels.
The wife’s main role is to be a help-meet to her husband (Genesis 2:18). This means that she puts his needs and wants before her own.
The most important ministry of every Christian wife is to her husband. The only thing of greater priority in her life should be her relationship with Jesus.
Change in a Christian from sin to obedience is brought about through “putting off” those things not of God and “putting on” those things that are of God (Ephesians 4:20-32).
The Lord has placed a woman’s husband is authority over her; he is to be her head. The wife’s only higher authority is God.
The motivation for a wife’s submission to her husband should be that it is honoring to Christ, for she is obeying His instructions in this area (and hopefully in all other areas of her life as well).
A Godly wife is to be joyfully submissive to her husband in all things. Biblically, the only time when she should not submit to her husband is if he asks her to sin.
Because it is the believer’s responsibility to offer loving reproof to other believers that are in sin (Galatians 6:1), the wife is to joyfully respond to reproof from her husband. It is also the wife’s responsibility to offer reproof if she sees her believing husband in sin, but this reproof is to be made lovingly and with a spirit of continued joyful submission to her husband.
Idols of the heart are not necessarily those things that are wrong in and of themselves, but they are anything that a person desires and focuses on so much that the person sins if they do not get that which they desired. These idols must be cast down and your heart set entirely on the Lord Jesus.
A wife should be a “keeper at home” (Titus 2:5; KJV), managing her household efficiently and to the glory of God.
A wife is to love her husband unconditionally and not fall prey to selfishness, bitterness or fear.
A wife is to respect and reverence their husbands (Ephesians 5:33), even if she does not think that her husband deserves her respect.
In regard to marital intimacy, a wife does not have authority over her own body, her husband does (1 Corinthians 7:4) and she should concentrate on pleasing him in this aspect of their marriage.
The Lord has provided resources for protection of the wife who is in a difficult situation. It is the wife’s responsibility to biblically understand and use these resources should the need arise.
The Godly wife should control her tongue and use it only to edify and build up others, especially her husband.
When conflict arises in her marriage, the wife is responsible to handle her side of it biblically and to work towards resolution.
A wife should not give into anger, but respond to irritation with gentleness.
A Godly wife should not be fearful, but rest in God’s sovereign control of all circumstances, especially in regard to her marriage.
Should there be loneliness because of a lack of intimacy with her husband, a Christian wife should draw closer to Christ and find her satisfaction in Him.
When a wife is confronted with sorrow, she should not let it overwhelm her, but instead rest in the joy and peace found in Christ.
2. Do you agree or disagree with the author? Write out any opinion you would like to express about the content of the book.
While I have read better-written books on the subject, I thought that The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace was an exceptional book of biblical teaching on the role of the wife. Though I thought that some of her examples were weak or a little off, I cannot think of any principle presented that I did not agree with. Everything discussed was biblically supported and almost every page was liberally sprinkled with Scripture references and the words of Scripture.
Thankfully, Peace does not try to sugar-coat or weaken what the Bible says about the role of Godly wives. She clearly states that a wife is to be submissive to her husband in all things (except if he asks her to sin) and it is rare to find that belief among women today, even in Christian circles. So often Christians today try to brush aside what the Bible says about a wife’s submission and instead focus on the one verse (Ephesians 5:21) that speaks of believers submitting to one another, ignoring the myriad of verses that speak of a wife submitting to her husband (1 Corinthians 14:34; Ephesians 5:22; Colossians 3:18; 1 Peter 3:1, 5). Peace wholeheartedly acknowledges that the Godly wife is to be joyfully submissive to her husbands and all the teaching in the book in based on that view. Submission to her husband is a wife’s divine calling and it should be her joy and her glory for it is ordained of God.
Another refreshing thing to read in The Excellent Wife was Peace’s views on a wife reverencing and glorifying her husband (as the church does Christ; Ephesians 5:32). A woman is to be her husband’s helpmeet and this involves putting his needs and wants before her own. In our self-glorifying culture, this viewpoint is almost beyond comprehension to some, but Peace presents it (rightly so) as God’s plan for wives and provides practical counsel on how this would work out in everyday life. A list is provided of “Eighteen Ways to Glorify Your Husband” and while Peace is not saying that a wife has to do all these things in order to “glorify” her husband, the list offers a great starting point to wives wondering how to practically be her husband’s helpmeet.
In The Excellent Wife, the difficult situations that can come up in any marriage were addressed and an entire chapter was devoted to the Biblical protection that God has provided for wives who are in those situations. I had never read teaching on that part of marriage (regarding the protection provided by God) and so was relieved to find it addressed in this book. The steps that biblically a wife can go through if she finds herself in a bad situation were clearly outlined and Scripturally based and none of them were cop-out answers. Peace acknowledges the fact that some marriage situations are just hard with no easy answers, but God has provided measures the protection of the wife and it is her responsibility to know them and exercise them should the occasion arise. This balanced and Biblical view is not often presented to wives and it was good to see it clearly shown in the book.
A subject near and dear to my heart is that of the home and it being the wife’s “domain” and I was glad to see that addressed in a positive light in this book. Peace made mention of the many Scriptures that reference a wife being in her home and “keeping” it well. So often in modern Christian circles, the idea of a wife being “just” a homemaker is looked upon with condescension, disdain and sometimes even disgust, but that is not the biblical viewpoint at all. I was grateful to see that Peace saw that a wife should be a “keeper at home” and that it is a large part of her high calling as a biblical wife.
Though it was written to married women, the section of the book on idols of the heart was convicting to me. Peace defined an idol as something that “is so important to us that we sin to get it or we sin when it doesn’t go well” and she recognizes that many idols are not necessarily things that are wrong in and of themselves. An example she used was that of desiring a loving husband. That desire is good and of God, but if a woman focus too much on that so that she becomes bitter or angry (both of which are sins) when she does not have a loving husband, then that desire has become an idol. Any idol of the heart should be uprooted and thrown out and the person should look to Jesus as the satisfaction of all their desires and “the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (Psalm 73:26).
3. Would you recommend this book? To whom? Why?
Possibly without exception, I would wholeheartedly recommend The Excellent Wife to any married woman. Martha Peace presents the role of a wife who follows God’s Word in every aspect of her life and that is something that every wife needs to hear. As was stated previously, Peace does not sugar-coat the idea of a Biblical wife and does not mince around difficult issues. The biblical view of submission is clearly presented and some of the practicalities of how it can be worked out in real life are discussed. Her view (supported with much Scripture) presented is one that carries over to every aspect of life, not just when it is easy or convenient to submit. Peace recognizes that being a wife who is submissive to God and her husband in all things can be hard, but it also is very rewarding as that wife is fulfilling her God-given role and position and obeying the Lord’s instructions as are presented in Scripture.
In the book, Peace also acknowledges the hard situations that can and will arise in real-life marriages and provides Scriptural ways to deal with those situations. The Lord’s provision of protection for the wife in a difficult situation is discussed in a manner that provides practical measures that the wife can exercise to protect herself (and any children involved) in obedience to Scripture. The clear knowledge of that is a needed resource for any married woman.
I also would recommend The Excellent Wife to any woman who wants to be married and who one day might be a wife. Due to the mature content of the book as a whole, and several chapters especially, I probably would not recommend it to any girl under eighteen or twenty, but outside of that it would be a profitable read to any woman who might possibly get married. All the reasons why this book is beneficial for any married woman to read would also apply to any woman who might one day be married as the book clearly summarizes and expounds on what the Bible says about being a wife.
Along with giving insight for the future, this book is also beneficial to unmarried women in that it provides a dose of reality for their rose-colored dreams. Yes, marriage is wonderful and beautiful, but it also can be very hard and Peace acknowledges that many times. The difficult situations are discussed and it is good for young women who want to get married to read of that and know that marriage is not always bouquets and kisses and whispered sweet nothings. Fortunately, the balance is provided so that women (married or single) do not develop a pessimistic view of marriage and not left without hope. The Lord provides means of protection for wives in bad situations, and we can always be assured “…that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ…” (1 Peter 1:7).
Also, any person who will be counseling wives and/or married couples should read The Excellent Wife. Completely Biblical teaching on the issue of the wife’s role in a marriage is sadly lacking from most churches today and so this book would be an excellent resource anyone dealing with wives and/or married couples.
In short, I think that The Excellent Wife should be read by any woman who is a wife or will one day be a wife. The Biblical counsel put forth in this book could be only beneficial to wives as it is based on the Word of God which is “is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man [in this case, the woman] of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.” (2 Timothy 3:16-17).
"...that they [the older women] admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed." ~Titus 2:4-5
Reading Report for The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace
1. Write down the most important insights and principles presented by the author of the book.
God’s plan for the role of a wife is clearly outlined in Scripture and can and should be obeyed. A wife who fulfills this role is worth more than precious jewels.
The wife’s main role is to be a help-meet to her husband (Genesis 2:18). This means that she puts his needs and wants before her own.
The most important ministry of every Christian wife is to her husband. The only thing of greater priority in her life should be her relationship with Jesus.
Change in a Christian from sin to obedience is brought about through “putting off” those things not of God and “putting on” those things that are of God (Ephesians 4:20-32).
The Lord has placed a woman’s husband is authority over her; he is to be her head. The wife’s only higher authority is God.
The motivation for a wife’s submission to her husband should be that it is honoring to Christ, for she is obeying His instructions in this area (and hopefully in all other areas of her life as well).
A Godly wife is to be joyfully submissive to her husband in all things. Biblically, the only time when she should not submit to her husband is if he asks her to sin.
Because it is the believer’s responsibility to offer loving reproof to other believers that are in sin (Galatians 6:1), the wife is to joyfully respond to reproof from her husband. It is also the wife’s responsibility to offer reproof if she sees her believing husband in sin, but this reproof is to be made lovingly and with a spirit of continued joyful submission to her husband.
Idols of the heart are not necessarily those things that are wrong in and of themselves, but they are anything that a person desires and focuses on so much that the person sins if they do not get that which they desired. These idols must be cast down and your heart set entirely on the Lord Jesus.
A wife should be a “keeper at home” (Titus 2:5; KJV), managing her household efficiently and to the glory of God.
A wife is to love her husband unconditionally and not fall prey to selfishness, bitterness or fear.
A wife is to respect and reverence their husbands (Ephesians 5:33), even if she does not think that her husband deserves her respect.
In regard to marital intimacy, a wife does not have authority over her own body, her husband does (1 Corinthians 7:4) and she should concentrate on pleasing him in this aspect of their marriage.
The Lord has provided resources for protection of the wife who is in a difficult situation. It is the wife’s responsibility to biblically understand and use these resources should the need arise.
The Godly wife should control her tongue and use it only to edify and build up others, especially her husband.
When conflict arises in her marriage, the wife is responsible to handle her side of it biblically and to work towards resolution.
A wife should not give into anger, but respond to irritation with gentleness.
A Godly wife should not be fearful, but rest in God’s sovereign control of all circumstances, especially in regard to her marriage.
Should there be loneliness because of a lack of intimacy with her husband, a Christian wife should draw closer to Christ and find her satisfaction in Him.
When a wife is confronted with sorrow, she should not let it overwhelm her, but instead rest in the joy and peace found in Christ.
2. Do you agree or disagree with the author? Write out any opinion you would like to express about the content of the book.
While I have read better-written books on the subject, I thought that The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace was an exceptional book of biblical teaching on the role of the wife. Though I thought that some of her examples were weak or a little off, I cannot think of any principle presented that I did not agree with. Everything discussed was biblically supported and almost every page was liberally sprinkled with Scripture references and the words of Scripture.
Thankfully, Peace does not try to sugar-coat or weaken what the Bible says about the role of Godly wives. She clearly states that a wife is to be submissive to her husband in all things (except if he asks her to sin) and it is rare to find that belief among women today, even in Christian circles. So often Christians today try to brush aside what the Bible says about a wife’s submission and instead focus on the one verse (Ephesians 5:21) that speaks of believers submitting to one another, ignoring the myriad of verses that speak of a wife submitting to her husband (1 Corinthians 14:34; Ephesians 5:22; Colossians 3:18; 1 Peter 3:1, 5). Peace wholeheartedly acknowledges that the Godly wife is to be joyfully submissive to her husbands and all the teaching in the book in based on that view. Submission to her husband is a wife’s divine calling and it should be her joy and her glory for it is ordained of God.
Another refreshing thing to read in The Excellent Wife was Peace’s views on a wife reverencing and glorifying her husband (as the church does Christ; Ephesians 5:32). A woman is to be her husband’s helpmeet and this involves putting his needs and wants before her own. In our self-glorifying culture, this viewpoint is almost beyond comprehension to some, but Peace presents it (rightly so) as God’s plan for wives and provides practical counsel on how this would work out in everyday life. A list is provided of “Eighteen Ways to Glorify Your Husband” and while Peace is not saying that a wife has to do all these things in order to “glorify” her husband, the list offers a great starting point to wives wondering how to practically be her husband’s helpmeet.
In The Excellent Wife, the difficult situations that can come up in any marriage were addressed and an entire chapter was devoted to the Biblical protection that God has provided for wives who are in those situations. I had never read teaching on that part of marriage (regarding the protection provided by God) and so was relieved to find it addressed in this book. The steps that biblically a wife can go through if she finds herself in a bad situation were clearly outlined and Scripturally based and none of them were cop-out answers. Peace acknowledges the fact that some marriage situations are just hard with no easy answers, but God has provided measures the protection of the wife and it is her responsibility to know them and exercise them should the occasion arise. This balanced and Biblical view is not often presented to wives and it was good to see it clearly shown in the book.
A subject near and dear to my heart is that of the home and it being the wife’s “domain” and I was glad to see that addressed in a positive light in this book. Peace made mention of the many Scriptures that reference a wife being in her home and “keeping” it well. So often in modern Christian circles, the idea of a wife being “just” a homemaker is looked upon with condescension, disdain and sometimes even disgust, but that is not the biblical viewpoint at all. I was grateful to see that Peace saw that a wife should be a “keeper at home” and that it is a large part of her high calling as a biblical wife.
Though it was written to married women, the section of the book on idols of the heart was convicting to me. Peace defined an idol as something that “is so important to us that we sin to get it or we sin when it doesn’t go well” and she recognizes that many idols are not necessarily things that are wrong in and of themselves. An example she used was that of desiring a loving husband. That desire is good and of God, but if a woman focus too much on that so that she becomes bitter or angry (both of which are sins) when she does not have a loving husband, then that desire has become an idol. Any idol of the heart should be uprooted and thrown out and the person should look to Jesus as the satisfaction of all their desires and “the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (Psalm 73:26).
3. Would you recommend this book? To whom? Why?
Possibly without exception, I would wholeheartedly recommend The Excellent Wife to any married woman. Martha Peace presents the role of a wife who follows God’s Word in every aspect of her life and that is something that every wife needs to hear. As was stated previously, Peace does not sugar-coat the idea of a Biblical wife and does not mince around difficult issues. The biblical view of submission is clearly presented and some of the practicalities of how it can be worked out in real life are discussed. Her view (supported with much Scripture) presented is one that carries over to every aspect of life, not just when it is easy or convenient to submit. Peace recognizes that being a wife who is submissive to God and her husband in all things can be hard, but it also is very rewarding as that wife is fulfilling her God-given role and position and obeying the Lord’s instructions as are presented in Scripture.
In the book, Peace also acknowledges the hard situations that can and will arise in real-life marriages and provides Scriptural ways to deal with those situations. The Lord’s provision of protection for the wife in a difficult situation is discussed in a manner that provides practical measures that the wife can exercise to protect herself (and any children involved) in obedience to Scripture. The clear knowledge of that is a needed resource for any married woman.
I also would recommend The Excellent Wife to any woman who wants to be married and who one day might be a wife. Due to the mature content of the book as a whole, and several chapters especially, I probably would not recommend it to any girl under eighteen or twenty, but outside of that it would be a profitable read to any woman who might possibly get married. All the reasons why this book is beneficial for any married woman to read would also apply to any woman who might one day be married as the book clearly summarizes and expounds on what the Bible says about being a wife.
Along with giving insight for the future, this book is also beneficial to unmarried women in that it provides a dose of reality for their rose-colored dreams. Yes, marriage is wonderful and beautiful, but it also can be very hard and Peace acknowledges that many times. The difficult situations are discussed and it is good for young women who want to get married to read of that and know that marriage is not always bouquets and kisses and whispered sweet nothings. Fortunately, the balance is provided so that women (married or single) do not develop a pessimistic view of marriage and not left without hope. The Lord provides means of protection for wives in bad situations, and we can always be assured “…that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ…” (1 Peter 1:7).
Also, any person who will be counseling wives and/or married couples should read The Excellent Wife. Completely Biblical teaching on the issue of the wife’s role in a marriage is sadly lacking from most churches today and so this book would be an excellent resource anyone dealing with wives and/or married couples.
In short, I think that The Excellent Wife should be read by any woman who is a wife or will one day be a wife. The Biblical counsel put forth in this book could be only beneficial to wives as it is based on the Word of God which is “is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man [in this case, the woman] of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.” (2 Timothy 3:16-17).
"...that they [the older women] admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed." ~Titus 2:4-5