A hard question...
Over the last month or so, I've had the not-so-enjoyable job of looking into scholarships for going to Bible college this fall. I've written before (third paragraph in this long post) about how hard it is to find scholarships to apply for when my main focus isn't my degree, so the few that I can apply for are essay question type ones. For some reason this last scholarship question was SO hard for me to answer...I guess because there aren't many people that I could label "have looked up to in [my] life" (see bold wording below). That makes me sound like some prideful, self-sufficient jerk (which I can be at times...I am a sinner)...but it's just that, other than my parents (and Jesus, obviously...He comes before my parents), there aren't many people that I would term as such. But anyway...after many failed and re-routed tries, I eventually came up with something that sounded kind of okay and just submitted it a couple minutes ago. And...since it DID take so many tries and much thought, I thought I'd post it here too...let me know what you think!
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In 1000 words or less write about the best trait or traits of someone whom you have looked up to in your life.
Though I've never met her, a woman whom I've looked up to greatly in recent years is Elisabeth Elliot. This woman has written many books, and through these books, I've come to deeply respect her. Elisabeth went through many difficult situations in her life. She waited a long and hard five and a half years to marry her first husband, Jim Elliot; during much of that time, Elisabeth didn't know if she would ever get to marry her first love. Jim and Elisabeth were married just over two years when Jim, along with four other missionaries, was speared to death by the Auca Indians they were trying to evangelize. Even in her grief, Elisabeth stayed in Ecuador with her infant daughter, ministering to and for several years living with the same Indians who had brutally murdered her husband. After moving back to the States, years later Elisabeth married Addison Leitch. They were married for about four years, then Elisabeth once again became a widow after losing her second husband to cancer. Later, she married a third time, and this husband is currently living.
I'm not yet married, but the thought of losing your husband seems like it would be nothing short of devastating. But twice…and after only a short time with someone you thought would be your life partner! Yet, through her words, in books and in talks, Elisabeth communicates an absolute trust in the sovereignty of God. Amazing…and it's one of the traits I most admire about her.
To trust in the Lord's absolute control in ALL things is so hard, yet this is what Elisabeth conveys in her writings. Yes, I'm sure she stumbled like the rest of us humans and she writes of that too, but an overall confidence in her Lord's care and control prevails. To have such trust, to really know with every fiber of my body, that in everything the Lord knows what He is doing and what He's doing is right, good and perfect, is something I long for. I know all of this with my head, but I want to have that knowledge pervade my every thought, every word, every action. For is that not what faith is? And "…without faith it is impossible to please Him…" (Hebrews 11:6)
Almost inextricably intertwined with this implicit confidence that the Lord does work all things "together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28), is the knowledge that through our suffering, He refines us and it is good. This is another amazing trait that I see in Elisabeth Elliot's life. Job 23:10 says, "But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold." This connection between the purifying of precious metals in fire and the refining of people through suffering is shown in several more passages in Scripture. If we allow them to, suffering and trials and hardships can only draw us closer to Jesus and make us more like Him.
There's a Christian e-mail forward that was and probably still is, floating around cyberspace, related to this concept of refining through "fire" as pertains to precious metals and human beings. The forward talks of some women who looked at the verse in Malachi 3:3 that say the Lord "will sit as a refiner and a purifier of silver". Supposedly, the women asked a silversmith how he knew that the piece of silver was done being refined and purged. And he replied something along the lines of, "When I can see my face in it." Even though I'm not at all a big fan of forwards, I've always remembered that line from this one because I believe it can be applied to the way that the Lord refines through suffering too. Though we are never "done" being refined while still on this fallen earth, if we submit ourselves to His purifying "fires", His image is being worked into us. And you can see this in Elisabeth Elliot. Her books are full of such wisdom that can only be gained through trials and she reflects her Master and Lord.
Though I haven't show clear distinctions between them, I've mentioned two different "traits" in a person I look up to. The absolute trust in the sovereignty of God and the confidence that through our sufferings we are refined by the Lord and made more like Him. I admire those traits in every person I see them in and can only pray that they be worked more and more into my life. I haven't shown clear differences between these two traits because, in many ways, they cannot be separated. The acceptance of the absolute sovereignty of the Lord is most times struggled with during trials and sufferings…not many people question God's control when everything is sunny and happy! In accepting that the Lord knows what He's doing and it is perfect and good, only then can we realize that our suffering is good too…good because through it we are made more like Him. And what more could anyone want?