[FIC] If You're the One
Title: If You're the One
Author: Sanzu
Pairings: Akame (main) , Ryoda (little)
Raiting: PG-15 (might get higher)
Genre: Romance
Beta by: -
Disclaimer: I only own the plot
Summary: Kazuya’s only wish right then was that the same routine wouldn’t repeat itself anymore. He was too tired to go through the same thing over and over again. Something needed to be changed about their relationship. But could anything be changed after the same routine had been gone through for months already?
Warning: Traumatized Jin
Author Note: My first multi-chaptered fic. It came to be when I wanted to write something different.
Italics are Kazuya's PoV in this fic.
Previous Chapters:
( Chapter 1 )( Chapter 2 )( Chapter 3 )( Chapter 4 )( Chapter 5 )( Chapter 6 )( Chapter 7 )( Chapter 8 )( Chapter 9 )( Chapter 10 )( Chapter 11 )( Chapter 12 )( Chapter 13 )
New!
Chapter 14
It took a lot of convincing but in the end Jin agreed to meet Toma so Kazuya set up a meeting for them the next weekend. Jin was extremely nervous before the agreed time came. It was a totally different thing to see Toma than to actually meet and talk with him. Kazuya tried his best to calm Jin down while they were waiting for the third one to arrive.
“I don’t think I can do this, Kazu,” Jin panicked looking hopelessly into Kazuya’s eyes as if to ask for the younger on to take him away from the café.
“You can do this, Jin. And you need this,” Kazuya encouraged Jin tightening the hold he had on the older one’s hand.
“I can’t… I feel sick. I want to go home,” Jin whined and it reminded Kazuya of nervous kid before a performance on stage in front of many people.
“You’re going to be alright. Trust me,” Kazuya spoke on calming tone hoping that it would get to Jin.
“Ok,” Jin nodded a few times taking in a deep breath to calm down.
It was then that Toma walked into the café. He stopped by the door for awhile and Kazuya waved his hand at the guy for him to notice them. Toma nodded with a careful smile and he too seemed to take a long breath before starting his way towards their table.
Jin took a hold of Kazuya’s hand under the table when Toma started to walk towards them. The extreme nervousness had clearly come back. Jin’s palm felt sweaty.
“Hi,” Toma greeted giving a look to both of them.
“Hey,” Kazuya answered right away with a smile while Jin only murmured something towards the same direction and lowered his head. Toma sat down opposite to the two of them.
“So um… I’m going to sit in another table and let you two talk,” Kazuya smile at both of the guys and squeezed Jin’s hand before he tried to stand up. Jin, however, kept a strong hold on his hand and turned pleading eyes to Kazuya. Kazuya understood that Jin wanted him to stay but it was better if the two would talk things through in private.
“I’ll be just in the other table, Jin. If you need anything, just come,” Kazuya encouraged Jin like he was a small child. Slowly Jin let go of Kazuya hand the youngest stood up and left to another table with the drink he had ordered earlier.
After sitting down to the new table he gave a glance towards the table where an awkward silent seemed to have landed between the two best friends from middle school. Jin was staring at the table and it was clear to anyone how nervous he was about the meeting.
Kazuya hoped Toma could get Jin to talk.
Meanwhile with Toma and Jin
The moment Kazuya left the table, the atmosphere got really tense and awkward. Toma looked at the man sitting opposite to him. The guy had the same features as he had had in middle school, though he had grown taller and more muscular. Still, it was the same Jin who was afraid to let anyone close. And Toma could tell how nervous the other was about meeting him. Jin seemed to be even more nervous than Toma was.
“You’re really lucky to have found someone like Kame to stay by your side,” Toma started to speak then. Kazuya seemed like the best subject to start a conversation with Jin after not having seen the other for ten years. Kazuya was the only link they had then, though they had history.
“Y-yeah,” Jin nodded and gulped. Toma was glad to notice the older one lifted his head a little bit to steal a very quick glance of him.
“He really loves you, you know. I can see it in his eyes whenever he’s talking about you,” Toma told Jin. Jin lifted his head fully to get a good glance of Toma’s face. “You still sometimes doubt him, though, don’t you?” Toma continued with a question.
“N-no,” Jin tried to deny. Toma knew better than believe it, though. He had his own experience after all.
“You must be,” Toma pressed. “Your mother only almost did to me what she did to you for years. Even if you trust someone you still doubt them because you just can’t trust them fully. Heck. I even doubted my mother,” Toma confessed to Jin and without noticing got closer to the subject they were supposed to talk through to get a closure for everything that had happened. Toma had realized himself after Kazuya had suggested it that he actually needed something like that.
“I… want to trust him without a doubt…,” Jin admitted and it was the first almost full sentence he gave to Toma.
“I know. It must be easier with Kazuya, though, as he’s a man and not someone who would always remind you of what your mother did. Still, you have to work hard to find the courage to trust him to be able to talk about everything you feel to him. I think my guess of you never having talked about these things to anyone before is right,” Toma guessed.
“I started to talk to Kazuya… but something happened with a friend and…,” Jin explained but cut the sentence in the middle.
“The doubts and insecurities took over,” Toma filled the sentence speaking of pure experience. The nod Jin gave him was the perfect answer.
“You just have to find the courage again. And trust me when I say that anyone can see how much Kazuya loves you. He’s literally head over heels for you. It must be hard to believe but you should try and keep telling yourself it’s the truth,” Toma adviced.
“You had to go through all that because I made a stupid mistake to take you home although I knew what my mom was like?” Jin asked and the guilty look on Jin’s face brought the memory of begging Kazuya to Toma. It was because of that expression and the insecurities Jin was facing that made Kazuya beg like that, Toma came to realize right then.
“You know, Kame literally begged me on his knees to get me to tell him what happened in the past for your sake. It was because of that face you’re showing now that he lowered his pride and kneeled down to get you answers although all those people were staring at him,” Toma told Jin before actually telling Jin what he thought of the whole situation.
“W-what? He kneeled down like that for me?” Jin asked in disbelief and turned to look into Kazuya’s direction. The younger one was reading a magazine to spend his time while patiently waiting for Jin. Toma could see how touched Jin was about what Kazuya had done for him without telling.
“He did. But Jin, I never blamed you for what I went through. I just couldn’t look at you without remembering your mother when she was… touching me from places no one had touched me before,” Toma told Jin for the first time why he had started to avoid his best friend. “You and your mother have some similar facial features so the next day when I saw you I only saw your mother. I’m sorry I never explained this to you. I was only thinking about myself in the state of mind I was,” Toma apologized.
“I… I didn’t do anything to make you hate me?” Jin asked to be sure.
“No you didn’t. I swear,” Toma promised. “I was seriously only thinking about myself. Kame got mad at me because of that, though he understood I couldn’t help it in the state of mind I was in,” Toma chuckled at the memory. He had been scared of Kazuya back then. “Never make Kame mad, I must warn you. He’s way scarier than that short black haired friend of his,” Toma warned Jin.
“K-Kazuya got mad? Why?” Jin looked confused and looked into Kazuya’s direction was again. The guy was flipping a page of the magazine and looked like he was actually reading it instead of just quickly going through it.
“Because I never told anyone here what your mother did to me. He was mad because, if I had told someone, they could have stopped your suffering already back then. The thought that I left you behind to stay in your suffering made Kame really mad. But it’s good, it’s a sign of how much he really loves you,” Toma smiled at Jin. He was jealous that Jin had found someone like Kazuya.
Jin seemed to be speechless of everything he found out about Kazuya from Toma. It was clear the older one had had no idea how far Kazuya was ready to go for him. Toma believed what he had told the older one helped him to see how sincere Kazuya really was.
“You know, I was shocked when Kame first told me you were together. I had never thought about gays before but after seeing you two together… I don’t know, I’ve been thinking that maybe it would be easier to find a guy who I could trust than a girl,” Toma revealed his thoughts to Jin. He hadn’t voiced out those thoughts before but he felt like he could talk with Jin about it. Somehow it felt like Jin was the one who could understand him.
“It is… easier. But only a little,” Jin admitted and looked down on his hands.
“Is there something you want to say?” Toma asked. He had pretty much said what he needed to say and if he was telling the truth, he felt a lot more peaceful inside. He had really needed the talk to finally close the painful chapter from the past. He should remember to thank Kazuya for forcing him into speaking about the subject.
“I… you went to therapy?” Jin was clearly hesitant to ask it but he managed to voice it out in the end.
“Yeah. For a long time. It was hard but my parents didn’t know what else to do. I never got healed from the whole trauma, though. But I believe this talk has helped to make it happen,” Toma shared.
They still shared a few thoughts and asked a few questions from each other. It was clear that Jin was still the quieter out of the two of them but he was surprisingly open, too. Toma couldn’t say for sure how far Jin was in his healing process. But at least he was healing.
Back to Kazuya
Kazuya managed to finish going through three magazines from cover to cover when the two best friends from middle school stood up and walked up to him.
“Good talk?” Kazuya asked with a smile and honest interest. Kazuya was relieved to notice that Jin looked more at peace than what he had before the conversation. He knew Jin well enough to be able to say the conversation had done something good for Jin and his condition but he was very curious of what Toma had to say.
“Yes. Thank you, I really needed this. I feel like I can fully concentrate on the modeling now,” Toma gave Kazuya a thankful smile.
“It’s nothing. I hoped it would do you both good,” Kazuya stood up as well to get ready to leave.
“Thank you, Kazuya,” Jin thanked Kazuya too. Jin thanking him like that made Kazuya’s eyes tear up as he gave the older one his special smile.
“I’m just glad you got to speak things through after all these years,” Kazuya said sincerely.
They all left together and Toma promised to keep in touch with them whenever he had time. He hoped Jin good luck and that the two of them could meet again some time when all the miseries were fully put behind and they could actually smile at the good memories they had together.
The talk with Toma had really done good for Jin as he got a lot better after the talk. He finally had the answers to some of the many questions he had. Because of the talk, Jin started to let Yamapi slightly closer again as well and Kazuya took a big breath of relieve. Things were back on the rails to the better.
And then it was time for Jin’s birthday party.
“Where are you taking me?” Jin asked sounding excited but unsure when they were taking a bus to Tatsuya and Ryo’s apartment. Kazuya knew Yamapi had gone there beforehand to help Tatsuya organize everything. Ryo would probably spend most of his time just doing nothing as he still was against the party but had no other choice but to participate. Though he said Tatsuya had only made him agree into behaving during the party and what he did before and after that didn’t matter because it wasn’t what he was threatened into. And Tatsuya just let the younger one be.
“You’ll see,” Kazuya grinned at Jin happily. He wanted everything to be a surprise.
“Kazu~ give me a hint. I’m so nervous,” Jin pleaded in a slightly whining tone. Kazuya smiled at Jin as an answer. He loved how Jin had returned to act like that around him. It was really a huge relieve.
“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you now would it?” Kazuya asked playfully and turned to show his tongue at Jin.
“You’re so mean,” Jin whined in a quiet voice but Kazuya still heard it clearly.
“At least you still love me,” Kazuya sing-songed back getting a pout from Jin. Kazuya only smiled at the older one and concentrated on the roads so that they wouldn’t miss the stop where they should get off to get to Ryo and Tatsuya’s apartment.
Jin had no idea where Tatsuya and Ryo lived so when they got off the bus and Kazuya started to walk towards the right direction, Jin still didn’t suspect anything at all. He probably thought that the two of them would spend some time together like a date and Kazuya hoped Jin wouldn’t be disappointed that there would be other people. But he had promised a birthday party for Jin and party needed more people than just the two of them.
“Where is this?” Jin asked once they were in front of the right building. It was a few minute walk from the bust stop.
“Come on. We’re almost late,” Kazuya gave Jin an encouraging smile and started to walk inside the building turning to look behind that Jin was following. The older one did and got into the same elevator with Kazuya but he looked a lot more nervous now.
“Th-there will be lots of people?” Jin asked carefully. The older one was finally aware that the two of them wouldn’t be alone at the party.
“No. Just three others. I promised to give you a birthday party and I figured it needs more people than just the two of us. Don’t be so nervous, today is your day,” Kazuya explained and put a hand on Jin’s shoulder to encourage the older one further.
Jin didn’t have time to say anything else when the elevator doors opened and Kazuya stepped outside walking straight to the door he knew really well. Jin followed him slightly hesitant, though Kazuya knew Jin probably had a pretty good guess who would be at the party. Or then it was just because of that that Jin walked so hesitantly.
Yamapi had clearly been waiting for them because it only took 5 seconds for the door to be opened by him after Kazuya rang the doorbell.
“Jin! Happy birthday,” Yamapi wished the first thing he moved his eyes from Kazuya to Jin. He had a wide honest smile on his face as he moved his hand to pat Jin on the shoulder in a friendly way.
“T-thank you,” Jin looked astonished. It was probably the third birthday greeting he ever got. First was when Kazuya wished him the same thing in the morning right after Jin woke up and came to the kitchen to have his special birthday breakfast. The second was when Toma sent a text message to Kazuya's phone as Jin and Toma had forgotten to exchange numbers and wished Jin happy birthday.
“Come on inside,” Yamapi stepped aside and hurried Jin to get inside. Hesitantly the older one did just that and Kazuya followed close behind him.
“Happy birthday, Jin. Welcome to our home,” Kazuya heard Tatsuya wishing Jin when Yamapi had rushed his boyfriend further inside the house. More precisely, the living room.
“Y-your house?” Jin asked just when Kazuya got to the living-room as well.
“Yeah. Me and Ryo live here,” Tatsuya answered. He was smiling at Jin and Kazuya felt good when he saw it was one of Tatsuya’s honest smiles.
“Wow, it’s so… big,” Jin admired and Kazuya wasn’t sure if he realized how open he was being in front of Tatsuya and Yamapi or if it was because Ryo wasn’t in the room at that moment. Ryo, after all, was the only one left to start being friendly with Jin.
“I know. All because his highness wouldn’t accept anything smaller being from a rich family like he is,” came Ryo’s voice from what Kazuya knew was the kitchen’s direction before the younger one of the couple came to the living room, too.
“If I remember right, you weren’t so much against this,” Tatsuya reminded Ryo while glaring at his lover. Kazuya got next to Jin who had gotten tenser ever since Ryo joined the conversation and Tatsuya letting out his scary side wasn’t probably helping the situation too much.
“Doesn’t change the fact that I would have been happy with a smaller place as well,” Ryo commented with a grin.
“You-,” Tatsuya started to curse Ryo.
“How’s the situation in the kitchen, Ryo?” Yamapi asked quickly. It was for the best to stop the two before they got into a fight.
“All’s ready. Get the birthday boy in the table and we’ll good to start eating,” Ryo was clearly speaking to Yamapi only but he was speaking in more friendly tone about Jin and that was a lot. It took Jin by surprise as well.
“Let’s get going then,” Kazuya smiled and gave Jin a gentle push to tell the older one to start moving towards the kitchen.
“After you, your highness,” Ryo spoke to Tatsuya to annoy him further. Kazuya wasn’t sure if it was a revenge of something or Ryo’s idea of not making fun of Jin.
“You’re really trying to annoy the crap out of me, aren’t you?” Tatsuya turned to ask Ryo who had bowed slightly to show his respect at the so called royalty.
“Of course not. I’m just behaving,” Ryo smirked at Tatsuya. Kazuya chuckled lightly at the sight. The couple was once again on it but it was rather entertaining when Tatsuya wasn’t on the verge of exploding at Ryo in anger (at least not at that moment).
“If this is you behaving , I don’t want to know what you’re like when you’re being polite,” Tatsuya rolled his eyes.
“Oh, you would love that side of me,” Ryo promised.
“Somehow I doubt that,” Tatsuya retorted. Jin let out a chuckle then as well and it pretty much took Tatsuya and Ryo by surprise as Jin didn’t really let himself show his emotions in front of the couple. Kazuya knew how funny Jin found the two but it was probably the first time he actually let it show.
“You two are impossible,” Yamapi shook his head from side to side. “Can we just eat?” Yamapi asked then.
“How typical of you to be always hungry,” Jin teased and Kazuya started to grin widely noticing a few things: Jin was getting more open again, Ryo’s jaw dropped to the floor when he heard Jin teasing Yamapi who was his best friend, Tatsuya looked surprised as well but not as much as Ryo and Yamapi’s eyes widened and got filled with friendly longing as it had been awhile since he last heard Jin talking to him like that.
“I…,” Jin noticed the atmosphere changing around him and lowered his head. Kazuya was probably the only one who noticed the blush creeping on the older one’s cheeks.
“I don’t eat all the time,” Yamapi got over the surprise and started to pout.
“Sorry to break this to you but, yes you do,” Kazuya giggled.
“I do not!” Yamapi protested.
“Yeah because when you don’t you’re sleeping,” Ryo agreed. He also got over his shock and got easily back on the teasing mode. After all, it was his nature.
“Moooooou,” Yamapi whined as his pout grew longer. Jin was grinning again and that made Kazuya feel a lot better.
“Let’s get to eat before the food gets cold,” Tatsuya gave a smile to everyone before they went one after one to the kitchen. Ryo had created a wonderful dinner. With the birthday party celebrations Ryo had only agreed to help with cooking, saying it was only because he didn’t want to end up in the hospital from food poisoning if letting Yamapi or Tatsuya take over the kitchen.
The whole evening went well. Ryo and Tatsuya were bickering now and then but it mostly only humored Jin making him laugh many times. They played games and as Yamapi came up with team names, team Akame won team Ryoda in Monopoly with flying colors. And as a punishment for losing, Ryo and Tatsuya had to wear a pink birthday party hat.
“No way. There’s no way in hell I will wear that,” Ryo protested immediately after seeing the hat.
“Sorry pal, you have to,” Yamapi grinned evilly.
“Does is have to be pink?!” Ryo whined and glared at Yamapi. Jin was laughing hard for the expression Ryo had on his face. Tatsuya was already wearing the pink hat.
“Of course it has to be pink,” Yamapi rolled his eyes at his best friend who he knew hated pink color more than any other color in the world.
“The sexy Osaka Man does not wear pink!” Ryo protested loudly throwing a glare towards Kazuya and Jin as well as the two were laughing on the couch.
“Stop complaining and wear the damn hat,” Tatsuya commanded and forced the hat to Ryo. Because of Ryo’s protesting the rubber band got off from Tatsuya’s hold and snapped straight to Ryo’s skin under his jaw making him curse in pain.
“Stop the freaking laughter!” Ryo screamed at all four of them as all of them were laughing by then how cute Ryo looked with the pink hat.
Tatsuya and Kazuya excused themselves at one point with the excuse of getting them some drinks. In reality they did prepare the drinks, too, but the cake and presents were more important. Silently they took out the cake they had bought earlier that day and prepared it with candles that they lit. They also took out the presents they had hidden in the cabinets.
Jin was so surprised when they suddenly came out with cake and presents. While the four of them were singing a Happy Birthday for Jin, a few tears fell from Jin’s eyes, so happy he was. Kazuya leaned over to Jin after the song and dried the tears gently.
“Make a wish,” Kazuya whispered and waited for Jin to blow the candles. When the older one did that, they started to clap and Tatsuya brought the presents closer to Jin.
“P-presents? You shouldn’t have,” Jin looked so touched right then. Kazuya could tell the birthday party had been perfect so far. Jin was so happy.
From Tatsuya and Ryo Jin got a big and expensive looking photo album. It was dark red with golden decoration and really thick to fit in lots of pictures.
“Kazuya told me he’d never seen any pictures of your life so we thought of getting you a photo album you can start filling with pictures from now on to get memories of all the good times that will come to you from now on,” Tatsuya told Jin smiling. Jin was looking at the photo album with new emotions in his eyes and Kazuya knew the photo album was something totally new for him and he looked forward to get some pictures into it.
The next present was from all of them. It was a camera for Jin. Not a really expensive one but decently good enough to make good enough pictures for Jin for the album.
“T-this is way too expensive,” Jin cried out but he still looked touched.
“Ask the princess and he’ll tell you how it wasn’t expensive enough,” Ryo commented with a roll of eyes. It was true that when they went for the camera shopping, Tatsuya had tried to get them to buy something more expensive but everyone else had disagreed to with a pout Tatsuya had had to agree onto getting something less expensive.
From Yamapi Jin got a soccer ball and a book of soccer game strategies from the previous world cup. He commented how he wanted to go and play soccer with Jin again someday as they hadn’t had time to go again after the previous time with Kazuya.
From Kazuya Jin got a few gifts. First was a USB flash drive to make his school work easier. Jin had been having a hard time with computer involved school work because he didn’t have one. Kazuya had also bought him new jeans he knew Jin needed but had never said so. The last present he got for Jin was a necklace with two kanjis saying “Yuuki” (courage). He wanted Jin to have something with him all the time to remind him to be brave and to remember all the people who were there for Jin anytime to encourage him.
There was no end to Jin’s thanking and Kazuya knew if he was only in front of Kazuya, he would be crying by then. It was because he wasn’t all comfortable with especially Ryo in the same room that he didn’t let himself cry in front of them.
They ended the evening with the comedy movie and they all were laughing so much during it. It had definitely been a good choice for that evening.
After the movie ended they all were pretty exhausted so Tatsuya made Yamapi a bed on the couch while Kazuya let Jin to the guest room helping the older one to carry the presents with him.
“Thank you, Kazuya,” Jin thanked the younger one when they were already lying down on the bed with only a night stand bringing light to the room.
“There’s nothing to thank me for. I’m glad you were so happy today. It means I didn’t fail in planning all of this,” Kazuya smiled at Jin and caressed his face tenderly.
“It was the best birthday ever,” Jin told him in tears and Kazuya had to lean over the older one to kiss him.
“Let’s sleep now,” Kazuya smiled at Jin while the older on caressed his hair and face. Jin gave him a simple nod as an answer so Kazuya cuddled up to Jin and found a good position before relaxing. Jin also changed his position slightly to get more comfortable and soon after they had fallen asleep.
The next morning they woke up around 10 and after having washed up and changed clothes they went to the kitchen to meet the others who were ready to eat breakfast.
“There they come,” Yamapi smiled widely at them and wished good morning to Jin before the couple managed to sit down to the table.
“You slept well?” Tatsuya asked from both of them after they all finished wishing good morning to each other.
“Yes, really well,” Kazuya answered honestly. He had had no trouble falling asleep. Only thinking of the perfect birthday party they had given to Jin made him feel like they were no worries in the whole world and falling asleep had been extremely easy.
“Yes, thank you,” Jin answered too and bowed as low as he could while sitting down on his spot.
“No need to thank anyone,” Yamapi waved his hand. “Right Ryo?” he turned to his best friend who had been pretty much all quiet so far.
“Yeah. Just get the sheets off before you leave. I ran out of rubber gloves,” Ryo added with mischievous grin. Tatsuya face-palmed while Yamapi shook his head. Jin seemed like he didn’t understand what Ryo was implying onto.
“Ryo! We… we didn’t… do that,” Kazuya struggled to say. “Even when you are too horny for your own good doesn’t mean that we would be the same,” Kazuya added and at that point Jin also realized what they were talking about exactly.
“What are you talking about? It’s his birthday. Of course you did it. Don’t be shy,” Ryo grinned. Kazuya hadn’t spoken about their sex life to anyone so of course none of his friends knew that they hadn’t even done it yet. It was rather natural they expected them to do it when it had indeed been Jin’s birthday.
“I’m telling you we didn’t,” Kazuya protested. He didn’t want to keep witnessing that smirk on Ryo’s face and listen to any of his dirty comments about last night when nothing even happened.
“You really don’t have to be so shy, we understand,” Yamapi got involved into the conversation as well and the look on his face wasn’t much better than the one on Ryo’s. Kazuya sighed and rolled his eyes. Seemed like he had no other choice but to let the three think whatever they wanted to think.
“I’m sorry,” Jin suddenly said and when Kazuya turned to him, Jin was looking down and was fisting his hands so hard together in his lap that his palms were almost white.
“Jin,” Kazuya whispered and landed a hand on the older one’s shoulder.
“Why are you saying sorry? There’s nothing to-,” Yamapi let out an awkward laugh. Tatsuya had been quiet the whole time, probably doing his silent observation the whole time.
“I’m sorry that I’m so broken that I can’t even give Kazuya a normal relationship. It’s all my fault that… we… that we… haven’t…,” Jin had to pause. Kazuya could guess how hard it was for Jin to talk about something like that. Jin had never even implied to anyone about what had happened to him in the past with his mother to make him so traumatized. Kazuya had to admit he was very proud of Jin although his heart was aching for the older one.
“I’m sorry,” Jin added and stood up quickly to escape to the guest room.
“Jin!” Kazuya tried to be fast enough to get after Jin but failed miserably and he just sat down back on the chair.
“W-what was that?” Yamapi asked eyes wide in disbelief.
“You haven’t done it? You seriously haven’t done it?!” Ryo questioned and looked at Kazuya like he had grown a second head or something.
“Shut up you two,” Tatsuya slapped the two on their heads and turned to Kazuya. “What did he mean by that?” Tatsuya asked gently, looking rather calm though Kazuya guessed Tatsuya was sensing it was something big.
“It’s true that… during this all time we haven’t… well, done it. But Jin’s traumatized about sex and so…,” Kazuya tried to find right words to tell his friends what really had been going on with Jin in the past. It was hard.
“What happened to him?” Tatsuya questioned still being calm though a hint of worry could be seen in his eyes. Ryo and Yamapi were listening silently, knowing if they opened their mouths they would most likely ruin the situation.
“His… mother… has been doing… things to him for years. Things a mother shouldn’t do to their children. She… she tried to do the same to Toma. Jin just… has never spoken about this subject before I found out,” Kazuya told them.
“Oh my God,” Yamapi let out in shock.
“That sick bastard of a woman,” Ryo cursed letting out his anger towards the woman he didn’t even know. The situation was clear enough, though, for anyone to be able to hate Jin’s mother,
“All the things he’s carried inside,” Tatsuya said in a sad voice.
“I’ve been calling him a freak this whole time! Omg, how much worse must I have made this all!” Yamapi yelled out in guilt next. He looked honestly so broken right then that Kazuya had to get up and go to him to give him a hug.
“But now he told you this by himself. It means he’s getting better and it’s thanks to your friendship, too,” Kazuya told him. He really believed it was also thanks to Yamapi that Jin had started to get better. The friendship really did Jin good, even more so after Jin had learnt the reasons for Toma’s leaving and had realized that Toma hadn’t been one of those to play with his feelings.
“Really?” Yamapi turned to look at Kazuya to make sure the younger one wasn’t lying to him to make him feel better.
“Really,” Kazuya promised. “I have to go see if Jin’s alright,” Kazuya stood up then.
“Yes, of course. Take your time. We’ll stay out of the way,” Tatsuya promised and Kazuya gave him a thankful smile before he left the kitchen and went to the guest room. Jin was lying under the blanket trying to hide himself from the world.
Kazuya closed the door behind him and stepped to the bed to sit down next to Jin. He could see how Jin tensed up so he didn’t even try to touch the older one.
“I’m here, Jin. I’ll wait as long as it’ll take from you to be able to face me,” Kazuya told the older one quietly in a tender voice and got ready to wait at least for half an hour.
20 minutes later Jin started to look for Kazuya’s comforting touch. He was still fully under the blanket but he turned around and snuggled closer to Kazuya until his head was touching Kazuya’s thigh. Kazuya smiled without saying anything and brought his hand to stroke the blanket from above where Jin’s head was.
“I’m sorry,” Jin said after another 15 minutes. It was a sign for Kazuya that Jin was ready to get out from his hiding spot so he took a hold of the blanket and started to peel Jin out of it.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” Kazuya shook his head slightly after he got Jin’s head out from under the blankets and could meet those guilt spoken eyes.
“I ruined the morning and they… they’re disgusted,” Jin muttered lowering his head back on Kazuya’s thigh with face towards Kazuya’s stomach as he couldn’t face Kazuya with the guilt eating him alive at that moment.
“They’re not disgusted and you didn’t ruin anything. I’m proud of you Jin. You admitting the truth to them means you’re facing the painful past and trying to heal,” Kazuya stroke Jin’s hair with his hand while speaking on a gentle voice.
“I… feel better but… Yamashita wouldn’t want to be friends with me anymore, right?” Jin asked with a weak voice. Kazuya was sad to notice how the insecurities still took over Jin. At least they were most likely over the part where Jin would question Kazuya about staying. He hoped Yamapi and the others could show Jin that he wasn’t abandoned because of something his mother made him go through.
“Pi probably felt the worst after hearing the truth,” Kazuya pondered still clearly remembering the reaction he got out of Yamapi after he had explained what Jin’s words exactly meant.
“Why?” Jin turned his head to be able to look up to Kazuya who smiled down at Jin.
“Because he’s come to care about you so much and after hearing what you’ve been through, he felt guilty about making things worse by calling you with names before,” Kazuya explained.
“He never made things worse. He was just like everyone else,” Jin commented.
“I’m not sure if that would make Pi feel any better,” Kazuya chuckled at the thought of Yamapi’s face if he had heard what Jin just said. “I’m happy you’re taking small steps forward to get better,” Kazuya continued then.
“I wouldn’t be able to if you weren’t by my side,” Jin admitted and started to sit up and got fully away from under the blanket.
“Let’s take another step then and go there to have breakfast. Together,” Kazuya suggested pointing towards the door of the room. Jin bit his lip and pulled Kazuya suddenly onto his arms. The younger one was taken aback by the sudden action but returned the hug soon after.
“Ok. Let’s go,” Jin said and let go of Kazuya with determination in his eyes. Kazuya smiled at that and they got off the bed to head out of the room. Jin’s steps got hesitant the moment the door was opened and eventually he let Kazuya get out first and followed the younger one.
Their three friends had moved to the living room to watch some television while waiting for them. Kazuya could see that at least Yamapi wasn’t at all concentrated on the screen. His head snapped up the moment he heard the door open and then he was on his feet.
“Everything ok?” Tatsuya asked when he and Ryo also had stood up to face the two who had just joined them.
“Yeah, slightly hungry,” Kazuya nodded with a small smile.
“Would you fix them something?” Tatsuya asked Ryo politely for once instead of ordering the younger one around like he usually did.
“Yeah, sure,” Ryo nodded and left to the kitchen. Kazuya thought that it could have also been because Ryo wasn’t good in slightly awkward situations as what they were in right then.
“You alright, Jin?” Yamapi asked and he honestly looked so worried and still slightly guilty. Kazuya could see that Jin saw it too.
“Yeah, I’m sorry I… I lost my cool,” Jin bowed his head slightly. Yamapi snapped and he took long steps to get to Jin quickly to give him a big friendly hug.
“Don’t apologize. You’re the one who has least reason to apologize of anything,” Yamapi’s tone was almost scolding. Kazuya could see how surprised Jin was. He had probably never seen it coming that Yamapi would hug him like that. Tatsuya chuckled most likely at the expression on Jin’s face.
“I agree with Pi. We’re the ones who should apologize to you,” Tatsuya said then. Pi slowly let go of Jin and nodded at his newest friend.
“You don’t have to,” Jin denied.
“Then you shouldn’t do it either,” Yamapi commented and took a hold of Jin’s arm then. “Let’s get you and your girlfriend something to eat,” Yamapi continued.
“Excuse me, did you just call me a girl?” Kazuya asked in disbelief glaring at Yamapi the best he could.
“Yeah, I think I did,” Yamapi grinned after pretending to be thinking for awhile.
“I’m not a girl you-,” Kazuya yelled at the older one totally not noticing how Jin started to silently laugh at the fight that had suddenly started.
“What? Can’t come up with anything? Poor Kame-chan,” Yamapi teased.
“Oi!” Kazuya took steps towards Yamapi who let go of Jin to run away from Kazuya, knowing he would get hit hard by the younger one if Kazuya got close enough.
“Don’t break anything, kids,” Tatsuya warned as the two started to run around the apartment Kazuya cursing and Yamapi laughing. “Let them play, you should get something to eat. Come,” Tatsuya walked up to Jin and guided the older one towards the kitchen.
“Thank you, Ueda-san,” Jin thanked and anyone could hear he meant it.
“Don’t mention it,” Tatsuya smiled. Ryo gave Tatsuya a knowing smile when the two of them got to the kitchen where Ryo had already finished fixing up some breakfast for two.
“ITAI!” they heard Yamapi’s cry of pain which told them Kazuya had caught up with him.
“Stop calling me a girl!” Kazuya yelled.
“Now you know why no one should ever call Kazuya a girl,” Ryo grinned at Jin. Jin thanked Ryo for the food he had fixed and started to eat. Tatsuya kept looking at the younger one. There seemed to be a new light in his eyes. He had noticed how it had started after Yamapi had hugged Jin. It was a clear prove that it was thanks to them accepting Jin as he was that the older one had gotten so much happier.
Maybe Tatsuya also should really give Jin a chance instead of just being friendly to him.
TBC
~.~.~
Two chapters left ^^
Hope you like this chapter. Looking forward to see what you think :)
Author: Sanzu
Pairings: Akame (main) , Ryoda (little)
Raiting: PG-15 (might get higher)
Genre: Romance
Beta by: -
Disclaimer: I only own the plot
Summary: Kazuya’s only wish right then was that the same routine wouldn’t repeat itself anymore. He was too tired to go through the same thing over and over again. Something needed to be changed about their relationship. But could anything be changed after the same routine had been gone through for months already?
Warning: Traumatized Jin
Author Note: My first multi-chaptered fic. It came to be when I wanted to write something different.
Italics are Kazuya's PoV in this fic.
Previous Chapters:
( Chapter 1 )( Chapter 2 )( Chapter 3 )( Chapter 4 )( Chapter 5 )( Chapter 6 )( Chapter 7 )( Chapter 8 )( Chapter 9 )( Chapter 10 )( Chapter 11 )( Chapter 12 )( Chapter 13 )
New!
Chapter 14
It took a lot of convincing but in the end Jin agreed to meet Toma so Kazuya set up a meeting for them the next weekend. Jin was extremely nervous before the agreed time came. It was a totally different thing to see Toma than to actually meet and talk with him. Kazuya tried his best to calm Jin down while they were waiting for the third one to arrive.
“I don’t think I can do this, Kazu,” Jin panicked looking hopelessly into Kazuya’s eyes as if to ask for the younger on to take him away from the café.
“You can do this, Jin. And you need this,” Kazuya encouraged Jin tightening the hold he had on the older one’s hand.
“I can’t… I feel sick. I want to go home,” Jin whined and it reminded Kazuya of nervous kid before a performance on stage in front of many people.
“You’re going to be alright. Trust me,” Kazuya spoke on calming tone hoping that it would get to Jin.
“Ok,” Jin nodded a few times taking in a deep breath to calm down.
It was then that Toma walked into the café. He stopped by the door for awhile and Kazuya waved his hand at the guy for him to notice them. Toma nodded with a careful smile and he too seemed to take a long breath before starting his way towards their table.
Jin took a hold of Kazuya’s hand under the table when Toma started to walk towards them. The extreme nervousness had clearly come back. Jin’s palm felt sweaty.
“Hi,” Toma greeted giving a look to both of them.
“Hey,” Kazuya answered right away with a smile while Jin only murmured something towards the same direction and lowered his head. Toma sat down opposite to the two of them.
“So um… I’m going to sit in another table and let you two talk,” Kazuya smile at both of the guys and squeezed Jin’s hand before he tried to stand up. Jin, however, kept a strong hold on his hand and turned pleading eyes to Kazuya. Kazuya understood that Jin wanted him to stay but it was better if the two would talk things through in private.
“I’ll be just in the other table, Jin. If you need anything, just come,” Kazuya encouraged Jin like he was a small child. Slowly Jin let go of Kazuya hand the youngest stood up and left to another table with the drink he had ordered earlier.
After sitting down to the new table he gave a glance towards the table where an awkward silent seemed to have landed between the two best friends from middle school. Jin was staring at the table and it was clear to anyone how nervous he was about the meeting.
Kazuya hoped Toma could get Jin to talk.
Meanwhile with Toma and Jin
The moment Kazuya left the table, the atmosphere got really tense and awkward. Toma looked at the man sitting opposite to him. The guy had the same features as he had had in middle school, though he had grown taller and more muscular. Still, it was the same Jin who was afraid to let anyone close. And Toma could tell how nervous the other was about meeting him. Jin seemed to be even more nervous than Toma was.
“You’re really lucky to have found someone like Kame to stay by your side,” Toma started to speak then. Kazuya seemed like the best subject to start a conversation with Jin after not having seen the other for ten years. Kazuya was the only link they had then, though they had history.
“Y-yeah,” Jin nodded and gulped. Toma was glad to notice the older one lifted his head a little bit to steal a very quick glance of him.
“He really loves you, you know. I can see it in his eyes whenever he’s talking about you,” Toma told Jin. Jin lifted his head fully to get a good glance of Toma’s face. “You still sometimes doubt him, though, don’t you?” Toma continued with a question.
“N-no,” Jin tried to deny. Toma knew better than believe it, though. He had his own experience after all.
“You must be,” Toma pressed. “Your mother only almost did to me what she did to you for years. Even if you trust someone you still doubt them because you just can’t trust them fully. Heck. I even doubted my mother,” Toma confessed to Jin and without noticing got closer to the subject they were supposed to talk through to get a closure for everything that had happened. Toma had realized himself after Kazuya had suggested it that he actually needed something like that.
“I… want to trust him without a doubt…,” Jin admitted and it was the first almost full sentence he gave to Toma.
“I know. It must be easier with Kazuya, though, as he’s a man and not someone who would always remind you of what your mother did. Still, you have to work hard to find the courage to trust him to be able to talk about everything you feel to him. I think my guess of you never having talked about these things to anyone before is right,” Toma guessed.
“I started to talk to Kazuya… but something happened with a friend and…,” Jin explained but cut the sentence in the middle.
“The doubts and insecurities took over,” Toma filled the sentence speaking of pure experience. The nod Jin gave him was the perfect answer.
“You just have to find the courage again. And trust me when I say that anyone can see how much Kazuya loves you. He’s literally head over heels for you. It must be hard to believe but you should try and keep telling yourself it’s the truth,” Toma adviced.
“You had to go through all that because I made a stupid mistake to take you home although I knew what my mom was like?” Jin asked and the guilty look on Jin’s face brought the memory of begging Kazuya to Toma. It was because of that expression and the insecurities Jin was facing that made Kazuya beg like that, Toma came to realize right then.
“You know, Kame literally begged me on his knees to get me to tell him what happened in the past for your sake. It was because of that face you’re showing now that he lowered his pride and kneeled down to get you answers although all those people were staring at him,” Toma told Jin before actually telling Jin what he thought of the whole situation.
“W-what? He kneeled down like that for me?” Jin asked in disbelief and turned to look into Kazuya’s direction. The younger one was reading a magazine to spend his time while patiently waiting for Jin. Toma could see how touched Jin was about what Kazuya had done for him without telling.
“He did. But Jin, I never blamed you for what I went through. I just couldn’t look at you without remembering your mother when she was… touching me from places no one had touched me before,” Toma told Jin for the first time why he had started to avoid his best friend. “You and your mother have some similar facial features so the next day when I saw you I only saw your mother. I’m sorry I never explained this to you. I was only thinking about myself in the state of mind I was,” Toma apologized.
“I… I didn’t do anything to make you hate me?” Jin asked to be sure.
“No you didn’t. I swear,” Toma promised. “I was seriously only thinking about myself. Kame got mad at me because of that, though he understood I couldn’t help it in the state of mind I was in,” Toma chuckled at the memory. He had been scared of Kazuya back then. “Never make Kame mad, I must warn you. He’s way scarier than that short black haired friend of his,” Toma warned Jin.
“K-Kazuya got mad? Why?” Jin looked confused and looked into Kazuya’s direction was again. The guy was flipping a page of the magazine and looked like he was actually reading it instead of just quickly going through it.
“Because I never told anyone here what your mother did to me. He was mad because, if I had told someone, they could have stopped your suffering already back then. The thought that I left you behind to stay in your suffering made Kame really mad. But it’s good, it’s a sign of how much he really loves you,” Toma smiled at Jin. He was jealous that Jin had found someone like Kazuya.
Jin seemed to be speechless of everything he found out about Kazuya from Toma. It was clear the older one had had no idea how far Kazuya was ready to go for him. Toma believed what he had told the older one helped him to see how sincere Kazuya really was.
“You know, I was shocked when Kame first told me you were together. I had never thought about gays before but after seeing you two together… I don’t know, I’ve been thinking that maybe it would be easier to find a guy who I could trust than a girl,” Toma revealed his thoughts to Jin. He hadn’t voiced out those thoughts before but he felt like he could talk with Jin about it. Somehow it felt like Jin was the one who could understand him.
“It is… easier. But only a little,” Jin admitted and looked down on his hands.
“Is there something you want to say?” Toma asked. He had pretty much said what he needed to say and if he was telling the truth, he felt a lot more peaceful inside. He had really needed the talk to finally close the painful chapter from the past. He should remember to thank Kazuya for forcing him into speaking about the subject.
“I… you went to therapy?” Jin was clearly hesitant to ask it but he managed to voice it out in the end.
“Yeah. For a long time. It was hard but my parents didn’t know what else to do. I never got healed from the whole trauma, though. But I believe this talk has helped to make it happen,” Toma shared.
They still shared a few thoughts and asked a few questions from each other. It was clear that Jin was still the quieter out of the two of them but he was surprisingly open, too. Toma couldn’t say for sure how far Jin was in his healing process. But at least he was healing.
Back to Kazuya
Kazuya managed to finish going through three magazines from cover to cover when the two best friends from middle school stood up and walked up to him.
“Good talk?” Kazuya asked with a smile and honest interest. Kazuya was relieved to notice that Jin looked more at peace than what he had before the conversation. He knew Jin well enough to be able to say the conversation had done something good for Jin and his condition but he was very curious of what Toma had to say.
“Yes. Thank you, I really needed this. I feel like I can fully concentrate on the modeling now,” Toma gave Kazuya a thankful smile.
“It’s nothing. I hoped it would do you both good,” Kazuya stood up as well to get ready to leave.
“Thank you, Kazuya,” Jin thanked Kazuya too. Jin thanking him like that made Kazuya’s eyes tear up as he gave the older one his special smile.
“I’m just glad you got to speak things through after all these years,” Kazuya said sincerely.
They all left together and Toma promised to keep in touch with them whenever he had time. He hoped Jin good luck and that the two of them could meet again some time when all the miseries were fully put behind and they could actually smile at the good memories they had together.
The talk with Toma had really done good for Jin as he got a lot better after the talk. He finally had the answers to some of the many questions he had. Because of the talk, Jin started to let Yamapi slightly closer again as well and Kazuya took a big breath of relieve. Things were back on the rails to the better.
And then it was time for Jin’s birthday party.
“Where are you taking me?” Jin asked sounding excited but unsure when they were taking a bus to Tatsuya and Ryo’s apartment. Kazuya knew Yamapi had gone there beforehand to help Tatsuya organize everything. Ryo would probably spend most of his time just doing nothing as he still was against the party but had no other choice but to participate. Though he said Tatsuya had only made him agree into behaving during the party and what he did before and after that didn’t matter because it wasn’t what he was threatened into. And Tatsuya just let the younger one be.
“You’ll see,” Kazuya grinned at Jin happily. He wanted everything to be a surprise.
“Kazu~ give me a hint. I’m so nervous,” Jin pleaded in a slightly whining tone. Kazuya smiled at Jin as an answer. He loved how Jin had returned to act like that around him. It was really a huge relieve.
“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you now would it?” Kazuya asked playfully and turned to show his tongue at Jin.
“You’re so mean,” Jin whined in a quiet voice but Kazuya still heard it clearly.
“At least you still love me,” Kazuya sing-songed back getting a pout from Jin. Kazuya only smiled at the older one and concentrated on the roads so that they wouldn’t miss the stop where they should get off to get to Ryo and Tatsuya’s apartment.
Jin had no idea where Tatsuya and Ryo lived so when they got off the bus and Kazuya started to walk towards the right direction, Jin still didn’t suspect anything at all. He probably thought that the two of them would spend some time together like a date and Kazuya hoped Jin wouldn’t be disappointed that there would be other people. But he had promised a birthday party for Jin and party needed more people than just the two of them.
“Where is this?” Jin asked once they were in front of the right building. It was a few minute walk from the bust stop.
“Come on. We’re almost late,” Kazuya gave Jin an encouraging smile and started to walk inside the building turning to look behind that Jin was following. The older one did and got into the same elevator with Kazuya but he looked a lot more nervous now.
“Th-there will be lots of people?” Jin asked carefully. The older one was finally aware that the two of them wouldn’t be alone at the party.
“No. Just three others. I promised to give you a birthday party and I figured it needs more people than just the two of us. Don’t be so nervous, today is your day,” Kazuya explained and put a hand on Jin’s shoulder to encourage the older one further.
Jin didn’t have time to say anything else when the elevator doors opened and Kazuya stepped outside walking straight to the door he knew really well. Jin followed him slightly hesitant, though Kazuya knew Jin probably had a pretty good guess who would be at the party. Or then it was just because of that that Jin walked so hesitantly.
Yamapi had clearly been waiting for them because it only took 5 seconds for the door to be opened by him after Kazuya rang the doorbell.
“Jin! Happy birthday,” Yamapi wished the first thing he moved his eyes from Kazuya to Jin. He had a wide honest smile on his face as he moved his hand to pat Jin on the shoulder in a friendly way.
“T-thank you,” Jin looked astonished. It was probably the third birthday greeting he ever got. First was when Kazuya wished him the same thing in the morning right after Jin woke up and came to the kitchen to have his special birthday breakfast. The second was when Toma sent a text message to Kazuya's phone as Jin and Toma had forgotten to exchange numbers and wished Jin happy birthday.
“Come on inside,” Yamapi stepped aside and hurried Jin to get inside. Hesitantly the older one did just that and Kazuya followed close behind him.
“Happy birthday, Jin. Welcome to our home,” Kazuya heard Tatsuya wishing Jin when Yamapi had rushed his boyfriend further inside the house. More precisely, the living room.
“Y-your house?” Jin asked just when Kazuya got to the living-room as well.
“Yeah. Me and Ryo live here,” Tatsuya answered. He was smiling at Jin and Kazuya felt good when he saw it was one of Tatsuya’s honest smiles.
“Wow, it’s so… big,” Jin admired and Kazuya wasn’t sure if he realized how open he was being in front of Tatsuya and Yamapi or if it was because Ryo wasn’t in the room at that moment. Ryo, after all, was the only one left to start being friendly with Jin.
“I know. All because his highness wouldn’t accept anything smaller being from a rich family like he is,” came Ryo’s voice from what Kazuya knew was the kitchen’s direction before the younger one of the couple came to the living room, too.
“If I remember right, you weren’t so much against this,” Tatsuya reminded Ryo while glaring at his lover. Kazuya got next to Jin who had gotten tenser ever since Ryo joined the conversation and Tatsuya letting out his scary side wasn’t probably helping the situation too much.
“Doesn’t change the fact that I would have been happy with a smaller place as well,” Ryo commented with a grin.
“You-,” Tatsuya started to curse Ryo.
“How’s the situation in the kitchen, Ryo?” Yamapi asked quickly. It was for the best to stop the two before they got into a fight.
“All’s ready. Get the birthday boy in the table and we’ll good to start eating,” Ryo was clearly speaking to Yamapi only but he was speaking in more friendly tone about Jin and that was a lot. It took Jin by surprise as well.
“Let’s get going then,” Kazuya smiled and gave Jin a gentle push to tell the older one to start moving towards the kitchen.
“After you, your highness,” Ryo spoke to Tatsuya to annoy him further. Kazuya wasn’t sure if it was a revenge of something or Ryo’s idea of not making fun of Jin.
“You’re really trying to annoy the crap out of me, aren’t you?” Tatsuya turned to ask Ryo who had bowed slightly to show his respect at the so called royalty.
“Of course not. I’m just behaving,” Ryo smirked at Tatsuya. Kazuya chuckled lightly at the sight. The couple was once again on it but it was rather entertaining when Tatsuya wasn’t on the verge of exploding at Ryo in anger (at least not at that moment).
“If this is you behaving , I don’t want to know what you’re like when you’re being polite,” Tatsuya rolled his eyes.
“Oh, you would love that side of me,” Ryo promised.
“Somehow I doubt that,” Tatsuya retorted. Jin let out a chuckle then as well and it pretty much took Tatsuya and Ryo by surprise as Jin didn’t really let himself show his emotions in front of the couple. Kazuya knew how funny Jin found the two but it was probably the first time he actually let it show.
“You two are impossible,” Yamapi shook his head from side to side. “Can we just eat?” Yamapi asked then.
“How typical of you to be always hungry,” Jin teased and Kazuya started to grin widely noticing a few things: Jin was getting more open again, Ryo’s jaw dropped to the floor when he heard Jin teasing Yamapi who was his best friend, Tatsuya looked surprised as well but not as much as Ryo and Yamapi’s eyes widened and got filled with friendly longing as it had been awhile since he last heard Jin talking to him like that.
“I…,” Jin noticed the atmosphere changing around him and lowered his head. Kazuya was probably the only one who noticed the blush creeping on the older one’s cheeks.
“I don’t eat all the time,” Yamapi got over the surprise and started to pout.
“Sorry to break this to you but, yes you do,” Kazuya giggled.
“I do not!” Yamapi protested.
“Yeah because when you don’t you’re sleeping,” Ryo agreed. He also got over his shock and got easily back on the teasing mode. After all, it was his nature.
“Moooooou,” Yamapi whined as his pout grew longer. Jin was grinning again and that made Kazuya feel a lot better.
“Let’s get to eat before the food gets cold,” Tatsuya gave a smile to everyone before they went one after one to the kitchen. Ryo had created a wonderful dinner. With the birthday party celebrations Ryo had only agreed to help with cooking, saying it was only because he didn’t want to end up in the hospital from food poisoning if letting Yamapi or Tatsuya take over the kitchen.
The whole evening went well. Ryo and Tatsuya were bickering now and then but it mostly only humored Jin making him laugh many times. They played games and as Yamapi came up with team names, team Akame won team Ryoda in Monopoly with flying colors. And as a punishment for losing, Ryo and Tatsuya had to wear a pink birthday party hat.
“No way. There’s no way in hell I will wear that,” Ryo protested immediately after seeing the hat.
“Sorry pal, you have to,” Yamapi grinned evilly.
“Does is have to be pink?!” Ryo whined and glared at Yamapi. Jin was laughing hard for the expression Ryo had on his face. Tatsuya was already wearing the pink hat.
“Of course it has to be pink,” Yamapi rolled his eyes at his best friend who he knew hated pink color more than any other color in the world.
“The sexy Osaka Man does not wear pink!” Ryo protested loudly throwing a glare towards Kazuya and Jin as well as the two were laughing on the couch.
“Stop complaining and wear the damn hat,” Tatsuya commanded and forced the hat to Ryo. Because of Ryo’s protesting the rubber band got off from Tatsuya’s hold and snapped straight to Ryo’s skin under his jaw making him curse in pain.
“Stop the freaking laughter!” Ryo screamed at all four of them as all of them were laughing by then how cute Ryo looked with the pink hat.
Tatsuya and Kazuya excused themselves at one point with the excuse of getting them some drinks. In reality they did prepare the drinks, too, but the cake and presents were more important. Silently they took out the cake they had bought earlier that day and prepared it with candles that they lit. They also took out the presents they had hidden in the cabinets.
Jin was so surprised when they suddenly came out with cake and presents. While the four of them were singing a Happy Birthday for Jin, a few tears fell from Jin’s eyes, so happy he was. Kazuya leaned over to Jin after the song and dried the tears gently.
“Make a wish,” Kazuya whispered and waited for Jin to blow the candles. When the older one did that, they started to clap and Tatsuya brought the presents closer to Jin.
“P-presents? You shouldn’t have,” Jin looked so touched right then. Kazuya could tell the birthday party had been perfect so far. Jin was so happy.
From Tatsuya and Ryo Jin got a big and expensive looking photo album. It was dark red with golden decoration and really thick to fit in lots of pictures.
“Kazuya told me he’d never seen any pictures of your life so we thought of getting you a photo album you can start filling with pictures from now on to get memories of all the good times that will come to you from now on,” Tatsuya told Jin smiling. Jin was looking at the photo album with new emotions in his eyes and Kazuya knew the photo album was something totally new for him and he looked forward to get some pictures into it.
The next present was from all of them. It was a camera for Jin. Not a really expensive one but decently good enough to make good enough pictures for Jin for the album.
“T-this is way too expensive,” Jin cried out but he still looked touched.
“Ask the princess and he’ll tell you how it wasn’t expensive enough,” Ryo commented with a roll of eyes. It was true that when they went for the camera shopping, Tatsuya had tried to get them to buy something more expensive but everyone else had disagreed to with a pout Tatsuya had had to agree onto getting something less expensive.
From Yamapi Jin got a soccer ball and a book of soccer game strategies from the previous world cup. He commented how he wanted to go and play soccer with Jin again someday as they hadn’t had time to go again after the previous time with Kazuya.
From Kazuya Jin got a few gifts. First was a USB flash drive to make his school work easier. Jin had been having a hard time with computer involved school work because he didn’t have one. Kazuya had also bought him new jeans he knew Jin needed but had never said so. The last present he got for Jin was a necklace with two kanjis saying “Yuuki” (courage). He wanted Jin to have something with him all the time to remind him to be brave and to remember all the people who were there for Jin anytime to encourage him.
There was no end to Jin’s thanking and Kazuya knew if he was only in front of Kazuya, he would be crying by then. It was because he wasn’t all comfortable with especially Ryo in the same room that he didn’t let himself cry in front of them.
They ended the evening with the comedy movie and they all were laughing so much during it. It had definitely been a good choice for that evening.
After the movie ended they all were pretty exhausted so Tatsuya made Yamapi a bed on the couch while Kazuya let Jin to the guest room helping the older one to carry the presents with him.
“Thank you, Kazuya,” Jin thanked the younger one when they were already lying down on the bed with only a night stand bringing light to the room.
“There’s nothing to thank me for. I’m glad you were so happy today. It means I didn’t fail in planning all of this,” Kazuya smiled at Jin and caressed his face tenderly.
“It was the best birthday ever,” Jin told him in tears and Kazuya had to lean over the older one to kiss him.
“Let’s sleep now,” Kazuya smiled at Jin while the older on caressed his hair and face. Jin gave him a simple nod as an answer so Kazuya cuddled up to Jin and found a good position before relaxing. Jin also changed his position slightly to get more comfortable and soon after they had fallen asleep.
The next morning they woke up around 10 and after having washed up and changed clothes they went to the kitchen to meet the others who were ready to eat breakfast.
“There they come,” Yamapi smiled widely at them and wished good morning to Jin before the couple managed to sit down to the table.
“You slept well?” Tatsuya asked from both of them after they all finished wishing good morning to each other.
“Yes, really well,” Kazuya answered honestly. He had had no trouble falling asleep. Only thinking of the perfect birthday party they had given to Jin made him feel like they were no worries in the whole world and falling asleep had been extremely easy.
“Yes, thank you,” Jin answered too and bowed as low as he could while sitting down on his spot.
“No need to thank anyone,” Yamapi waved his hand. “Right Ryo?” he turned to his best friend who had been pretty much all quiet so far.
“Yeah. Just get the sheets off before you leave. I ran out of rubber gloves,” Ryo added with mischievous grin. Tatsuya face-palmed while Yamapi shook his head. Jin seemed like he didn’t understand what Ryo was implying onto.
“Ryo! We… we didn’t… do that,” Kazuya struggled to say. “Even when you are too horny for your own good doesn’t mean that we would be the same,” Kazuya added and at that point Jin also realized what they were talking about exactly.
“What are you talking about? It’s his birthday. Of course you did it. Don’t be shy,” Ryo grinned. Kazuya hadn’t spoken about their sex life to anyone so of course none of his friends knew that they hadn’t even done it yet. It was rather natural they expected them to do it when it had indeed been Jin’s birthday.
“I’m telling you we didn’t,” Kazuya protested. He didn’t want to keep witnessing that smirk on Ryo’s face and listen to any of his dirty comments about last night when nothing even happened.
“You really don’t have to be so shy, we understand,” Yamapi got involved into the conversation as well and the look on his face wasn’t much better than the one on Ryo’s. Kazuya sighed and rolled his eyes. Seemed like he had no other choice but to let the three think whatever they wanted to think.
“I’m sorry,” Jin suddenly said and when Kazuya turned to him, Jin was looking down and was fisting his hands so hard together in his lap that his palms were almost white.
“Jin,” Kazuya whispered and landed a hand on the older one’s shoulder.
“Why are you saying sorry? There’s nothing to-,” Yamapi let out an awkward laugh. Tatsuya had been quiet the whole time, probably doing his silent observation the whole time.
“I’m sorry that I’m so broken that I can’t even give Kazuya a normal relationship. It’s all my fault that… we… that we… haven’t…,” Jin had to pause. Kazuya could guess how hard it was for Jin to talk about something like that. Jin had never even implied to anyone about what had happened to him in the past with his mother to make him so traumatized. Kazuya had to admit he was very proud of Jin although his heart was aching for the older one.
“I’m sorry,” Jin added and stood up quickly to escape to the guest room.
“Jin!” Kazuya tried to be fast enough to get after Jin but failed miserably and he just sat down back on the chair.
“W-what was that?” Yamapi asked eyes wide in disbelief.
“You haven’t done it? You seriously haven’t done it?!” Ryo questioned and looked at Kazuya like he had grown a second head or something.
“Shut up you two,” Tatsuya slapped the two on their heads and turned to Kazuya. “What did he mean by that?” Tatsuya asked gently, looking rather calm though Kazuya guessed Tatsuya was sensing it was something big.
“It’s true that… during this all time we haven’t… well, done it. But Jin’s traumatized about sex and so…,” Kazuya tried to find right words to tell his friends what really had been going on with Jin in the past. It was hard.
“What happened to him?” Tatsuya questioned still being calm though a hint of worry could be seen in his eyes. Ryo and Yamapi were listening silently, knowing if they opened their mouths they would most likely ruin the situation.
“His… mother… has been doing… things to him for years. Things a mother shouldn’t do to their children. She… she tried to do the same to Toma. Jin just… has never spoken about this subject before I found out,” Kazuya told them.
“Oh my God,” Yamapi let out in shock.
“That sick bastard of a woman,” Ryo cursed letting out his anger towards the woman he didn’t even know. The situation was clear enough, though, for anyone to be able to hate Jin’s mother,
“All the things he’s carried inside,” Tatsuya said in a sad voice.
“I’ve been calling him a freak this whole time! Omg, how much worse must I have made this all!” Yamapi yelled out in guilt next. He looked honestly so broken right then that Kazuya had to get up and go to him to give him a hug.
“But now he told you this by himself. It means he’s getting better and it’s thanks to your friendship, too,” Kazuya told him. He really believed it was also thanks to Yamapi that Jin had started to get better. The friendship really did Jin good, even more so after Jin had learnt the reasons for Toma’s leaving and had realized that Toma hadn’t been one of those to play with his feelings.
“Really?” Yamapi turned to look at Kazuya to make sure the younger one wasn’t lying to him to make him feel better.
“Really,” Kazuya promised. “I have to go see if Jin’s alright,” Kazuya stood up then.
“Yes, of course. Take your time. We’ll stay out of the way,” Tatsuya promised and Kazuya gave him a thankful smile before he left the kitchen and went to the guest room. Jin was lying under the blanket trying to hide himself from the world.
Kazuya closed the door behind him and stepped to the bed to sit down next to Jin. He could see how Jin tensed up so he didn’t even try to touch the older one.
“I’m here, Jin. I’ll wait as long as it’ll take from you to be able to face me,” Kazuya told the older one quietly in a tender voice and got ready to wait at least for half an hour.
20 minutes later Jin started to look for Kazuya’s comforting touch. He was still fully under the blanket but he turned around and snuggled closer to Kazuya until his head was touching Kazuya’s thigh. Kazuya smiled without saying anything and brought his hand to stroke the blanket from above where Jin’s head was.
“I’m sorry,” Jin said after another 15 minutes. It was a sign for Kazuya that Jin was ready to get out from his hiding spot so he took a hold of the blanket and started to peel Jin out of it.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” Kazuya shook his head slightly after he got Jin’s head out from under the blankets and could meet those guilt spoken eyes.
“I ruined the morning and they… they’re disgusted,” Jin muttered lowering his head back on Kazuya’s thigh with face towards Kazuya’s stomach as he couldn’t face Kazuya with the guilt eating him alive at that moment.
“They’re not disgusted and you didn’t ruin anything. I’m proud of you Jin. You admitting the truth to them means you’re facing the painful past and trying to heal,” Kazuya stroke Jin’s hair with his hand while speaking on a gentle voice.
“I… feel better but… Yamashita wouldn’t want to be friends with me anymore, right?” Jin asked with a weak voice. Kazuya was sad to notice how the insecurities still took over Jin. At least they were most likely over the part where Jin would question Kazuya about staying. He hoped Yamapi and the others could show Jin that he wasn’t abandoned because of something his mother made him go through.
“Pi probably felt the worst after hearing the truth,” Kazuya pondered still clearly remembering the reaction he got out of Yamapi after he had explained what Jin’s words exactly meant.
“Why?” Jin turned his head to be able to look up to Kazuya who smiled down at Jin.
“Because he’s come to care about you so much and after hearing what you’ve been through, he felt guilty about making things worse by calling you with names before,” Kazuya explained.
“He never made things worse. He was just like everyone else,” Jin commented.
“I’m not sure if that would make Pi feel any better,” Kazuya chuckled at the thought of Yamapi’s face if he had heard what Jin just said. “I’m happy you’re taking small steps forward to get better,” Kazuya continued then.
“I wouldn’t be able to if you weren’t by my side,” Jin admitted and started to sit up and got fully away from under the blanket.
“Let’s take another step then and go there to have breakfast. Together,” Kazuya suggested pointing towards the door of the room. Jin bit his lip and pulled Kazuya suddenly onto his arms. The younger one was taken aback by the sudden action but returned the hug soon after.
“Ok. Let’s go,” Jin said and let go of Kazuya with determination in his eyes. Kazuya smiled at that and they got off the bed to head out of the room. Jin’s steps got hesitant the moment the door was opened and eventually he let Kazuya get out first and followed the younger one.
Their three friends had moved to the living room to watch some television while waiting for them. Kazuya could see that at least Yamapi wasn’t at all concentrated on the screen. His head snapped up the moment he heard the door open and then he was on his feet.
“Everything ok?” Tatsuya asked when he and Ryo also had stood up to face the two who had just joined them.
“Yeah, slightly hungry,” Kazuya nodded with a small smile.
“Would you fix them something?” Tatsuya asked Ryo politely for once instead of ordering the younger one around like he usually did.
“Yeah, sure,” Ryo nodded and left to the kitchen. Kazuya thought that it could have also been because Ryo wasn’t good in slightly awkward situations as what they were in right then.
“You alright, Jin?” Yamapi asked and he honestly looked so worried and still slightly guilty. Kazuya could see that Jin saw it too.
“Yeah, I’m sorry I… I lost my cool,” Jin bowed his head slightly. Yamapi snapped and he took long steps to get to Jin quickly to give him a big friendly hug.
“Don’t apologize. You’re the one who has least reason to apologize of anything,” Yamapi’s tone was almost scolding. Kazuya could see how surprised Jin was. He had probably never seen it coming that Yamapi would hug him like that. Tatsuya chuckled most likely at the expression on Jin’s face.
“I agree with Pi. We’re the ones who should apologize to you,” Tatsuya said then. Pi slowly let go of Jin and nodded at his newest friend.
“You don’t have to,” Jin denied.
“Then you shouldn’t do it either,” Yamapi commented and took a hold of Jin’s arm then. “Let’s get you and your girlfriend something to eat,” Yamapi continued.
“Excuse me, did you just call me a girl?” Kazuya asked in disbelief glaring at Yamapi the best he could.
“Yeah, I think I did,” Yamapi grinned after pretending to be thinking for awhile.
“I’m not a girl you-,” Kazuya yelled at the older one totally not noticing how Jin started to silently laugh at the fight that had suddenly started.
“What? Can’t come up with anything? Poor Kame-chan,” Yamapi teased.
“Oi!” Kazuya took steps towards Yamapi who let go of Jin to run away from Kazuya, knowing he would get hit hard by the younger one if Kazuya got close enough.
“Don’t break anything, kids,” Tatsuya warned as the two started to run around the apartment Kazuya cursing and Yamapi laughing. “Let them play, you should get something to eat. Come,” Tatsuya walked up to Jin and guided the older one towards the kitchen.
“Thank you, Ueda-san,” Jin thanked and anyone could hear he meant it.
“Don’t mention it,” Tatsuya smiled. Ryo gave Tatsuya a knowing smile when the two of them got to the kitchen where Ryo had already finished fixing up some breakfast for two.
“ITAI!” they heard Yamapi’s cry of pain which told them Kazuya had caught up with him.
“Stop calling me a girl!” Kazuya yelled.
“Now you know why no one should ever call Kazuya a girl,” Ryo grinned at Jin. Jin thanked Ryo for the food he had fixed and started to eat. Tatsuya kept looking at the younger one. There seemed to be a new light in his eyes. He had noticed how it had started after Yamapi had hugged Jin. It was a clear prove that it was thanks to them accepting Jin as he was that the older one had gotten so much happier.
Maybe Tatsuya also should really give Jin a chance instead of just being friendly to him.
TBC
~.~.~
Two chapters left ^^
Hope you like this chapter. Looking forward to see what you think :)