[SJ] Heart, Broken
Kyuhyun can’t believe his luck. He actually debuts in a trio.
He sits back and tries to hold back a sigh as he hears the big boss talk about the future of the group he’s supposed to debut with. He was a trainee for only a short period of time and should probably be thankful for whatever chance he’s given but really, sharing a stage with two other people?
He glances to the two other trainees on his right, the other two that were planned to join him. Both older than him, one looking like a cute, innocent guy (but Kyuhyun knows better, he knows a person that can bite when he sees one) and the other a tall, Chinese man (who is clutching his Korean dictionary like his life depends on it).
He releases a sigh anyway.
[][][]
They now train together, trying to harmonize one another, to create chemistry.
Kyuhyun is awkward with strangers, Kyuhyun is awkward with everyone.
He learns after a few hushed whispers with his soon-to-be manager that the tall one’s name is Zhou Mi and the innocent looking guy is named Sungmin. He also finds out that Sungmin is in charge of the visual aspect of their performance, along with being their leader.
They also aren’t scheduled to debut in Korea.
“You guys should be happy to debut in Japan!” their manager said as he passes them a can of beer to lessen the stress.
Kyuhyun stares at his feet, Sungmin takes a huge gulp of his beer and Zhou Mi released a small cry.
“What was the use of me learning Korean day and night then?”
Zhou Mi looked like he was about to cry, Kyuhyun and Sungmin sniggered a laughter. They exchanged glances then, and Kyuhyun thought maybe it isn’t so bad to share a stage after all.
[][][]
Japan is a bitch, and that’s Kyuhyun trying to not hurt anyone’s feelings.
It’s a jungle of unfamiliar words, of unique fashion and raw fishes for dinner. It’s Kyuhyun trying to not trip as he walks behind Sungmin, bowing to everyone and smiling until his face hurts. It’s getting up before the sun comes out and sleeping when it’s nearing dawn.
Zhou Mi fits in rather well with his striking fashion sense and a smile that blinds you. Sungmin fits in rather well with his Japanese vocabulary that he learned after going for Japanese language classes for about year.
Kyuhyun does not fit in.
It pressures him, and people around him can notice he’s a little too quiet during interviews, sounding a little too soulful when he sings. He shrugs and says he isn’t used to the new surrounding, but truthfully he knows it’s more than that.
[][][]
“Here.”
Sungmin offers him a glass of his expensive wine one night, and Kyuhyun politely refuses first before Sungmin tells him to shut up and drink.
He doesn’t need to be told twice.
“Is it the food? Do you miss your family? Do you not like Zhou Mi or me?”
Kyuhyun drinks until his glass is empty, looks Sungmin in the eye and mouths I don’t know.
Sungmin raises his eyebrows in respond and pours Kyuhyun another glass before patting him on the shoulder and leaving him alone with his problems.
[][][]
“Look what I got for you!”
Zhou Mi’s face is literally blocking his way and so Kyuhyun has no choice but to play along.
“What did you get me?”
“Tada!”
Kyuhyun shoots a glance at the insides of the bag that Zhou Mi has just given him, sees fur and pink combined and fakes a smile.
There is a list of things Kyuhyun can’t stand; fur and pink are unfortunately quite high on that list.
“Uhm. Oh. Wow! Thanks!” Kyuhyun prays he doesn’t sound insincere, because God, hurting Zhou Mi with his wide eyes and even wider smile is like kicking a puppy who’s begging you for food. People just don’t kick puppies, no matter how cold they are.
He receives a peck on the cheek before he catches a glance of pink cheeks and Zhou Mi rushing to go to his room.
“Uhm. What just happened?”
Sungmin picks on his food and says, rather flatly, “I guess someone likes you.”
[][][]
Ten months living in Japan, a few number one singles and one sold out concert later, they decide a celebration was long overdue.
They call up a food service that served Korean food and ordered food they haven’t ate in ages like Kal-bi, Pi-bim-bap and Kim-chi, almost forgetting how it tastes as it lingers in their mouth. They also order a variety of Sichuan cuisines like Kung Pao chicken and Kyuhyun voices out, in between mouthfuls of everything, why haven’t they celebrated anything earlier?
They laugh at his question and Kyuhyun couldn’t help feeling a glow of happiness within him.
This was it, the feeling of actually fitting in.
[][][]
Sungmin and Kyuhyun were lying on the floor in their living room, filled to the brim with food and giddy laughter due to alcohol. Zhou Mi was sleeping in his room, not wanting to disturb his sleeping cycle.
Kyuhyun comes up with a lot of observations about Sungmin as they lay sprawled on the floor. Like, he has the cutest laugh ever and Sungmin actually can aegyo, despite his strict demeanor as team leader. He also went through a tough time as a trainee and even had times where he wanted to give it all up, to throw his dream of singing and start a whole new life.
“But I’m glad I didn’t, because then I wouldn’t have met you.” Sungmin says it as if he’s whispering, sleep taking over as he shuts his eyes and curls himself into a sleeping position.
Kyuhyun closes his eyes, tries to sleep but he can’t. Not when Sungmin says something like that, just like that.
He crawls a little until he’s hovering over Sungmin’s small frame, and very gingerly, brushes his lips against his hyung’s.
I’m glad I’ve met you too.
[][][]
Kyuhyun doesn’t understand his course of actions, doesn’t understand his own feelings. But Kyuhyun has always admitted that he was a man who never understood the abstract things in life, like why he kissed Sungmin.
Kyuhyun woke up the next day to Zhou Mi’s cheerful voice telling him to get dressed and Sungmin shoving him into the nearest toilet to clean himself.
He guessed things were back to normal.
[][][]
Their manager breaks the news to them after they’ve spent about a year and a half together in Japan.
Apparently, Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi were to promote in China as a duo, while Sungmin helps a rookie named Ryeowook debut in Korea.
They never question their orders, but Kyuhyun had a lot of questions that day.
Will we ever meet Sungmin hyung again? Is this the end for us? Are we now going to just remain as a thing in the past?
Sungmin squeezes his shoulder as he makes his way to his room, whispering that things will never end between them and Kyuhyun finds it as the only reason why he could sleep that night.
[][][]
They held one last concert before their short hiatus. They sing ballads as that’s what the fans like them for. Occasionally they sing a dance song or two, but Sungmin was the only one dancing correctly and Kyuhyun couldn’t help but to hide behind his hyung’s shadows as a sign of embarrassment.
But of course, fans are cruel and they call on him to do a solo dance, and Kyuhyun felt like smashing the microphone to his head.
“Dance time, dance time, dance time,” the fans chant as Kyuhyun got paler and paler.
“How about Sungmin and Kyuhyun dance together?” Zhou Mi suggested and Kyuhyun couldn’t help but to exhale heavily at that suggestion. The fans didn’t seem to mind the accompanying, and Kyuhyun was thankful for that. So he copied whatever move he saw Sungmin portray and said to the fans after the song was over, “You know what, I’m sticking to singing.”
Sungmin walked over to Kyuhyun and patted his back, whispering to his ear that he did a good job. He playfully whispered back that a good job deserves a reward. Sungmin’s smile was short, before he planted a kiss on his cheek.
The fans cheered like they were payed for it, Sungmin giggled and Kyuhyun tried not to blush.
Zhou Mi stood a little far from them, too stunned to respond. But he recovers fast, and no one notices his heart breaking.
[][][]
China is unfamiliar faces, a new language, new food to explore. China was Zhou Mi feeling at home and Kyuhyun trying to hide the loneliness. China is like Japan’s stepsister, but worse because Sungmin wasn’t there to pick up the pieces and paste them back together again.
Zhou Mi sees Kyuhyun trying, but he also sees Kyuhyun giving up half way, throwing things as a way to get rid of his frustrations. He sees pain, he sees anger but most of all, he sees longing.
At nights he sees Kyuhyun hugging the pink Hello Kitty bear Zhou Mi gave him when they were in Japan, and Zhou Mi knows then how hard it must be for Kyuhyun.
[][][]
They survive the first six months by juggling schedules and attending various events to get their name around. It wasn’t easy singing Chinese songs, but Kyuhyun was lucky to have a partner as patient as Zhou Mi. Who makes him coffee when he says he’s sleepy, who hums him a lullaby when he can’t sleep, who hugs him after every performance as a thank you for giving his best.
The truth is Kyuhyun only gives his best when Sungmin is there, but they both know that oblivion is bliss.
Their manager tells them one day a few weeks later that their only schedule for the day was canceled, so they were practically free for the whole day. Kyuhyun thinks about gaming or catching up on sleep, but Zhou Mi has better ideas.
Zhou Mi’s better idea happens to be a visit to his parents’ house, with Kyuhyun in tow. This idea seems like a disastrous one to Kyuhyun, but again, he couldn’t help but to agree to Zhou Mi.
They book flight tickets and their manager tells them that they could spare a couple of days in Wuhan because how many times does Zhou Mi actually get the chance to meet his parents? Zhou Mi hugs the manager senseless, Kyuhyun smiles and heads to pack his stuff.
Kyuhyun thinks that this could possibly be the best time for them to bond and actually smiles a sincere smile as they board the plane a few hours later.
[][][]
Zhou Mi is a splitting image of his mother, but with his dad’s superior height, Kyuhyun concludes as his bows and takes their hands for a shake. He tries speaking what little Chinese he can (possibly telling them that it’s nice to meet them about three times) before Zhou Mi steps in and mentions that he doesn’t mind being the translator. Zhou Mi’s mother smiles and Kyuhyun now knows who taught Zhou Mi to smile with his whole heart.
They were served with an early dinner of dishes Kyuhyun had difficulty pronouncing like fuqi feipian and shuizhu but Kyuhyun didn’t mind experimenting and Zhou Mi’s mother seem to like him already. He was still talkative despite the language barrier and being with Zhou Mi’s family made him feel at home. He smiles back to Zhou Mi and thinks that the trip to Wuhan wasn’t wasted after all.
They slept early that night as Zhou Mi did promise to bring Kyuhyun sightseeing the next day. Kyuhyun slept like a baby at their shared bed. Zhou Mi pretends to sleep until he hears his alarm ring.
[][][]
They start the day early with a trip to the famous Hubuhang for a bowl of hot reganmian noodles for breakfast. Zhou Mi knows Kyuhyun appreciates fine culinary, and Zhou Mi wanted to play his cards right so that their day will go smoothly.
Their next stop, ironically, is to Guiyuan Temple. Kyuhyun is a Christian and doesn’t see the point of going to a temple, but he silently follows Zhou Mi into the compound anyway. Kyuhyun hears Zhou Mi talk about some hall named Arhats Hall, which contains 500 Buddhist saints statues. He continues when Kyuhyun doesn’t respond, saying that its custom that when you enter the hall, from whichever part you choose to begin exploring, you are supposed to count the statues. When you have counted to your current age, you are then supposed to write down the number above the statue that you stopped on and you can then present it to the small shop outside to purchase a golden card with your fortune, as well as a depiction of that statue.
Kyuhyun still doesn’t see the point in it all, so Zhou Mi rolls his eyes in a frustrated manner and gushes that he wants to know his fortune. Kyuhyun laughs and playfully ruffles Zhou Mi’s neat hair, and follows him into the hall. He counts until he reaches the 23rd statue and jots down the number above the statue. He then follows Zhou Mi outside to present the number in exchange for a golden card with his fortune, but he tucks it away without even taking a second glance.
“Scared your fortune isn’t good,eh?” Zhou Mi jokes as he eyes Kyuhyun’s action.
Kyuhyun nods, and says that life isn’t fun if you know what’s going to happen.
[][][]
They visit a few shops to buy souvenirs for friends and family. They buy a special gift for their manager, and one for Sungmin.
They haven’t heard from Sungmin directly since he’s too busy these days but from what Kyuhyun gathers from his search online, Sungmin is doing just fine so he doesn’t worry about him. He misses his leader, but he doesn’t tell anyone what he feels.
Zhou Mi pulls Kyuhyun into a stall for dinner and as they wait for dinner, Zhou Mi orders them jingjiu, that, according to Zhou Mi is “a healthy alternative to regular wines” and they cling their glasses together. Zhou Mi tells Kyuhyun how he had enjoyed going back after being in a foreign country for so long and Kyuhyun somehow felt sorry for his tall companion.
Zhou Mi had spent about two years training in Korea, before spending another two years in Japan. He never got to visit his family for more than a month in those four years, and Kyuhyun could understand why tears were threatening to spill out of Zhou Mi’s eyes.
Kyuhyun doesn’t know what to do. It was always Sungmin that handled situations like this, and Kyuhyun some so what panicked as he heard Zhou Mi sob loudly.
“It’ll be okay, I’m here for you.”
Kyuhyun doesn’t know what made Zhou Mi smile, whether it was his words, his hand caressing Zhou Mi’s or the wine. He hoped it was the wine, because Kyuhyun can’t handle having to break Zhou Mi’s heart.
[][][]
After about a year of debuting in China, they finally make it big. They won an award under Rookie category and they bought one too many bottles of wine on their way back to their shared apartment.
They drink to celebrate, share stories and reminisce about the old days when they were trainees, when they were in Japan, when they had Sungmin laughing along with them. Kyuhyun quiets then, and Zhou Mi took that opportunity to gently stroke Kyuhyun’s cheek.
“I know you like him, Kyuhyun. It’s okay, I don’t mind.”
Kyuhyun shakes his head and before he could stop himself, ask “How can you not mind, when you’ve liked me all this while?”
Zhou Mi looked into Kyuhyun’s eyes, emotions betraying his previous statement. Kyuhyun can’t handle this because they were supposed to be celebrating, not worry about each other’s heart ache when he felt Zhou Mi’s lips on his.
It was a chaste kiss, nothing more. It could mean nothing. It could even be a kiss shared between long term companions, like what Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi are.
But Kyuhyun knew it wasn’t only just that for Zhou Mi, and as Zhou Mi ended the kiss, Kyuhyun wrapped his hand around Zhou Mi’s neck and pulled Zhou Mi nearer.
Just for tonight, Kyuhyun’s breath ghosted over Zhou Mi’s lips and he took whatever that was given.
Kyuhyun pulled Zhou Mi up from their sitting position and stopped kissing to look Zhou Mi in the eyes as he traced patterns on Zhou Mi’s chest. His hands were then on Zhou Mi’s collar, unbuttoning gently, moving downwards and popping open buttons one by one. As Kyuhyun flung Zhou Mi’s shirt off, he caresses Zhou Mi’s stomach and watches as Zhou Mi closes his eyes, swallowing his saliva.
Kyuhyun bends down to take the tie he had took off earlier and untied the knot before wrapping it as a blindfold over Zhou Mi’s eyes. He ignored the protest and instead softly kissed Zhou Mi. Zhou Mi’s kisses were full of want but Kyuhyun instead kissed him tentatively, as if he was experimenting his new territory. He shoved his tongue into Zhou Mi’s mouth when he had the opportunity and felt desire rush over him as Zhou Mi responded by sucking his tongue.
Somehow in between kisses, Kyuhyun manages to stumble both of them into his room and tosses Zhou Mi on his bed. He doesn’t bother getting undressed, opting to get on top of Zhou Mi instead and continue kissing him. He readjusts his position until he was sitting directly above Zhou Mi’s erection and the moan that escaped Zhou Mi’s lips had Kyuhyun biting on Zhou Mi’s collarbone.
His kisses are sloppy and wet but Zhou Mi doesn’t seem to mind as they leave trails from his jaw, to his neck to currently his collarbone. Kyuhyun proceeds to lick his way to Zhou Mi’s nipple, licking and tasting and just drawing pleas from Zhou Mi. He sucks and gently bites Zhou Mi’s nipple before he kisses his way to the other nipple.
Kyuhyun sees Zhou Mi’s trembling lips, feels his legs wrapped tight around Kyuhyun’s waist as Kyuhyun goes lower. He impatiently takes off Zhou Mi’s pants and smirks as he see’s Zhou Mi complying along. Zhou Mi expects Kyuhyun to do something to his throbbing cock but instead he feels Kyuhyun’s tongue on one of his ribs and that’s when Zhou Mi asks impatiently Are you waiting for an invitation?
Zhou Mi feels Kyuhyun’s tongue glide downwards and then he felt a light suck to his crotch that made him bit his lip so hard and buck his hips and Kyuhyun has the nerve to tell him to be patient. Despite being blindfolded, Zhou Mi still could feel and he traced Kyuhyun’s chest down to his pant and just as he reached his cock, he gave it a squeeze that made Kyuhyun call him a number of curse words.
He didn’t mind, as long as it fastened the process.
He felt coldness as Kyuhyun stood up, going to get something. Zhou Mi grumbled and he heard Kyuhyun chuckle. Before long he was back, and Zhou Mi couldn’t register much after that because oh God, Kyuhyun was licking his neck and he felt cold lubrication on his crotch, before a hand started jerking him.
He moaned and subconsciously bucked into the touch, urging Kyuhyun with his own hand above his and kisses that drowned his moans and pleas of faster and faster. Their movement went from slow and steady to fast and erratic and he came as Kyuhyun shifted to his ear, sucking his lobe, his breath heavy and warm on Zhou Mi’s skin.
Zhou Mi breathes heavily as he tries to gather himself and moves towards Kyuhyun to finish off the job but was stopped by a hand on his chest and a chaste kiss to his cheek.
“Now you need to forget your feelings for me,” is what he hears coming from Kyuhyun’s mouth and before he could protest, he felt the bed shift and heard Kyuhyun walking towards the door. Soon after he heard the door close and Zhou Mi has a difficult time understanding what just happened.
[][][]
Kyuhyun heads for the bathroom for a shower. He jerks himself off rather hastily but it’s not Zhou Mi he imagines, instead its Sungmin’s touches, Sungmin kisses and Sungmin telling him to come for him.
Kyuhyun closes his eyes as he feels the water splash against his skin, and thinks on what to do with his twisted life.
[][][]
The next time Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi actually meet Sungmin again was six months later, about a year and half since they last met.
Kyuhyun notices that Sungmin has lost a lot of weight, his cheek bones are more prominent and his eye bags more obvious. He keeps his opinions to himself as he watches Zhou Mi exchange a hug with Sungmin.
It feels like returning home when Kyuhyun hugs Sungmin, and he recalls the familiar scent, the way his back feels under his touch, and he hears Sungmin whisper how much he misses them, and not only him.
He hides his disappointment and smiles as he’s being introduced to Ryeowook, who Kyuhyun thinks needs to eat more and grow a few centimeters in height.
“Sungmin hyung has told me so much about you guys,” Ryeowook starts off and Kyuhyun finds himself nodding along as if on cue. He sees how Sungmin smiles when Ryeowook talks, sees how his fingers are lingering near Ryeowook, as if he wants to touch but can’t.
They exchange stories but it was mostly Zhou Mi and Ryeowook talking, Sungmin opting to just listen and Kyuhyun studying their interaction as a whole.
“Does Kyuhyun not talk much?” Ryeowook asks about half an hour later, and Kyuhyun uses his regular excuse of not knowing how to act around strangers.
“But Ryeowook isn’t a stranger, is he?” Sungmin asks then and that’s when Kyuhyun sees it, their hands linking around each other.
Kyuhyun excuses himself to go to the toilet and returns only when Zhou Mi texts him, saying that they’re leaving.
[][][]
“It was never going to be you, Kyuhyun,” was Sungmin’s way of saying good bye to Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun bites on his lip and looks at his shoes because his heart probably can’t handle seeing Sungmin’s face at that moment.
Kyuhyun feels a peck on his cheek, and turns around before Sungmin could see the tears rolling down his cheek.
[][][]
Kyuhyun continues singing with Zhou Mi at China. They come back to Korea about a year later and did a few performances together before they slowly did their own schedules.
Kyuhyun occasionally cries at night and when Zhou Mi used to be around, he would come with a warm glass of milk and a box of tissue. Kyuhyun concludes that he deserves this kind of karma as he did the same thing to Zhou Mi, Zhou Mi tells him not to blame himself for the things that don’t go according to plan.
Kyuhyun gets up to kiss Zhou Mi one last time, and bids him farewell.
[][][]
Kyuhyun reasons that love was the worst thing that had ever happened to him.
a/n: omg look at my first trial of smut :3
He sits back and tries to hold back a sigh as he hears the big boss talk about the future of the group he’s supposed to debut with. He was a trainee for only a short period of time and should probably be thankful for whatever chance he’s given but really, sharing a stage with two other people?
He glances to the two other trainees on his right, the other two that were planned to join him. Both older than him, one looking like a cute, innocent guy (but Kyuhyun knows better, he knows a person that can bite when he sees one) and the other a tall, Chinese man (who is clutching his Korean dictionary like his life depends on it).
He releases a sigh anyway.
[][][]
They now train together, trying to harmonize one another, to create chemistry.
Kyuhyun is awkward with strangers, Kyuhyun is awkward with everyone.
He learns after a few hushed whispers with his soon-to-be manager that the tall one’s name is Zhou Mi and the innocent looking guy is named Sungmin. He also finds out that Sungmin is in charge of the visual aspect of their performance, along with being their leader.
They also aren’t scheduled to debut in Korea.
“You guys should be happy to debut in Japan!” their manager said as he passes them a can of beer to lessen the stress.
Kyuhyun stares at his feet, Sungmin takes a huge gulp of his beer and Zhou Mi released a small cry.
“What was the use of me learning Korean day and night then?”
Zhou Mi looked like he was about to cry, Kyuhyun and Sungmin sniggered a laughter. They exchanged glances then, and Kyuhyun thought maybe it isn’t so bad to share a stage after all.
[][][]
Japan is a bitch, and that’s Kyuhyun trying to not hurt anyone’s feelings.
It’s a jungle of unfamiliar words, of unique fashion and raw fishes for dinner. It’s Kyuhyun trying to not trip as he walks behind Sungmin, bowing to everyone and smiling until his face hurts. It’s getting up before the sun comes out and sleeping when it’s nearing dawn.
Zhou Mi fits in rather well with his striking fashion sense and a smile that blinds you. Sungmin fits in rather well with his Japanese vocabulary that he learned after going for Japanese language classes for about year.
Kyuhyun does not fit in.
It pressures him, and people around him can notice he’s a little too quiet during interviews, sounding a little too soulful when he sings. He shrugs and says he isn’t used to the new surrounding, but truthfully he knows it’s more than that.
[][][]
“Here.”
Sungmin offers him a glass of his expensive wine one night, and Kyuhyun politely refuses first before Sungmin tells him to shut up and drink.
He doesn’t need to be told twice.
“Is it the food? Do you miss your family? Do you not like Zhou Mi or me?”
Kyuhyun drinks until his glass is empty, looks Sungmin in the eye and mouths I don’t know.
Sungmin raises his eyebrows in respond and pours Kyuhyun another glass before patting him on the shoulder and leaving him alone with his problems.
[][][]
“Look what I got for you!”
Zhou Mi’s face is literally blocking his way and so Kyuhyun has no choice but to play along.
“What did you get me?”
“Tada!”
Kyuhyun shoots a glance at the insides of the bag that Zhou Mi has just given him, sees fur and pink combined and fakes a smile.
There is a list of things Kyuhyun can’t stand; fur and pink are unfortunately quite high on that list.
“Uhm. Oh. Wow! Thanks!” Kyuhyun prays he doesn’t sound insincere, because God, hurting Zhou Mi with his wide eyes and even wider smile is like kicking a puppy who’s begging you for food. People just don’t kick puppies, no matter how cold they are.
He receives a peck on the cheek before he catches a glance of pink cheeks and Zhou Mi rushing to go to his room.
“Uhm. What just happened?”
Sungmin picks on his food and says, rather flatly, “I guess someone likes you.”
[][][]
Ten months living in Japan, a few number one singles and one sold out concert later, they decide a celebration was long overdue.
They call up a food service that served Korean food and ordered food they haven’t ate in ages like Kal-bi, Pi-bim-bap and Kim-chi, almost forgetting how it tastes as it lingers in their mouth. They also order a variety of Sichuan cuisines like Kung Pao chicken and Kyuhyun voices out, in between mouthfuls of everything, why haven’t they celebrated anything earlier?
They laugh at his question and Kyuhyun couldn’t help feeling a glow of happiness within him.
This was it, the feeling of actually fitting in.
[][][]
Sungmin and Kyuhyun were lying on the floor in their living room, filled to the brim with food and giddy laughter due to alcohol. Zhou Mi was sleeping in his room, not wanting to disturb his sleeping cycle.
Kyuhyun comes up with a lot of observations about Sungmin as they lay sprawled on the floor. Like, he has the cutest laugh ever and Sungmin actually can aegyo, despite his strict demeanor as team leader. He also went through a tough time as a trainee and even had times where he wanted to give it all up, to throw his dream of singing and start a whole new life.
“But I’m glad I didn’t, because then I wouldn’t have met you.” Sungmin says it as if he’s whispering, sleep taking over as he shuts his eyes and curls himself into a sleeping position.
Kyuhyun closes his eyes, tries to sleep but he can’t. Not when Sungmin says something like that, just like that.
He crawls a little until he’s hovering over Sungmin’s small frame, and very gingerly, brushes his lips against his hyung’s.
I’m glad I’ve met you too.
[][][]
Kyuhyun doesn’t understand his course of actions, doesn’t understand his own feelings. But Kyuhyun has always admitted that he was a man who never understood the abstract things in life, like why he kissed Sungmin.
Kyuhyun woke up the next day to Zhou Mi’s cheerful voice telling him to get dressed and Sungmin shoving him into the nearest toilet to clean himself.
He guessed things were back to normal.
[][][]
Their manager breaks the news to them after they’ve spent about a year and a half together in Japan.
Apparently, Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi were to promote in China as a duo, while Sungmin helps a rookie named Ryeowook debut in Korea.
They never question their orders, but Kyuhyun had a lot of questions that day.
Will we ever meet Sungmin hyung again? Is this the end for us? Are we now going to just remain as a thing in the past?
Sungmin squeezes his shoulder as he makes his way to his room, whispering that things will never end between them and Kyuhyun finds it as the only reason why he could sleep that night.
[][][]
They held one last concert before their short hiatus. They sing ballads as that’s what the fans like them for. Occasionally they sing a dance song or two, but Sungmin was the only one dancing correctly and Kyuhyun couldn’t help but to hide behind his hyung’s shadows as a sign of embarrassment.
But of course, fans are cruel and they call on him to do a solo dance, and Kyuhyun felt like smashing the microphone to his head.
“Dance time, dance time, dance time,” the fans chant as Kyuhyun got paler and paler.
“How about Sungmin and Kyuhyun dance together?” Zhou Mi suggested and Kyuhyun couldn’t help but to exhale heavily at that suggestion. The fans didn’t seem to mind the accompanying, and Kyuhyun was thankful for that. So he copied whatever move he saw Sungmin portray and said to the fans after the song was over, “You know what, I’m sticking to singing.”
Sungmin walked over to Kyuhyun and patted his back, whispering to his ear that he did a good job. He playfully whispered back that a good job deserves a reward. Sungmin’s smile was short, before he planted a kiss on his cheek.
The fans cheered like they were payed for it, Sungmin giggled and Kyuhyun tried not to blush.
Zhou Mi stood a little far from them, too stunned to respond. But he recovers fast, and no one notices his heart breaking.
[][][]
China is unfamiliar faces, a new language, new food to explore. China was Zhou Mi feeling at home and Kyuhyun trying to hide the loneliness. China is like Japan’s stepsister, but worse because Sungmin wasn’t there to pick up the pieces and paste them back together again.
Zhou Mi sees Kyuhyun trying, but he also sees Kyuhyun giving up half way, throwing things as a way to get rid of his frustrations. He sees pain, he sees anger but most of all, he sees longing.
At nights he sees Kyuhyun hugging the pink Hello Kitty bear Zhou Mi gave him when they were in Japan, and Zhou Mi knows then how hard it must be for Kyuhyun.
[][][]
They survive the first six months by juggling schedules and attending various events to get their name around. It wasn’t easy singing Chinese songs, but Kyuhyun was lucky to have a partner as patient as Zhou Mi. Who makes him coffee when he says he’s sleepy, who hums him a lullaby when he can’t sleep, who hugs him after every performance as a thank you for giving his best.
The truth is Kyuhyun only gives his best when Sungmin is there, but they both know that oblivion is bliss.
Their manager tells them one day a few weeks later that their only schedule for the day was canceled, so they were practically free for the whole day. Kyuhyun thinks about gaming or catching up on sleep, but Zhou Mi has better ideas.
Zhou Mi’s better idea happens to be a visit to his parents’ house, with Kyuhyun in tow. This idea seems like a disastrous one to Kyuhyun, but again, he couldn’t help but to agree to Zhou Mi.
They book flight tickets and their manager tells them that they could spare a couple of days in Wuhan because how many times does Zhou Mi actually get the chance to meet his parents? Zhou Mi hugs the manager senseless, Kyuhyun smiles and heads to pack his stuff.
Kyuhyun thinks that this could possibly be the best time for them to bond and actually smiles a sincere smile as they board the plane a few hours later.
[][][]
Zhou Mi is a splitting image of his mother, but with his dad’s superior height, Kyuhyun concludes as his bows and takes their hands for a shake. He tries speaking what little Chinese he can (possibly telling them that it’s nice to meet them about three times) before Zhou Mi steps in and mentions that he doesn’t mind being the translator. Zhou Mi’s mother smiles and Kyuhyun now knows who taught Zhou Mi to smile with his whole heart.
They were served with an early dinner of dishes Kyuhyun had difficulty pronouncing like fuqi feipian and shuizhu but Kyuhyun didn’t mind experimenting and Zhou Mi’s mother seem to like him already. He was still talkative despite the language barrier and being with Zhou Mi’s family made him feel at home. He smiles back to Zhou Mi and thinks that the trip to Wuhan wasn’t wasted after all.
They slept early that night as Zhou Mi did promise to bring Kyuhyun sightseeing the next day. Kyuhyun slept like a baby at their shared bed. Zhou Mi pretends to sleep until he hears his alarm ring.
[][][]
They start the day early with a trip to the famous Hubuhang for a bowl of hot reganmian noodles for breakfast. Zhou Mi knows Kyuhyun appreciates fine culinary, and Zhou Mi wanted to play his cards right so that their day will go smoothly.
Their next stop, ironically, is to Guiyuan Temple. Kyuhyun is a Christian and doesn’t see the point of going to a temple, but he silently follows Zhou Mi into the compound anyway. Kyuhyun hears Zhou Mi talk about some hall named Arhats Hall, which contains 500 Buddhist saints statues. He continues when Kyuhyun doesn’t respond, saying that its custom that when you enter the hall, from whichever part you choose to begin exploring, you are supposed to count the statues. When you have counted to your current age, you are then supposed to write down the number above the statue that you stopped on and you can then present it to the small shop outside to purchase a golden card with your fortune, as well as a depiction of that statue.
Kyuhyun still doesn’t see the point in it all, so Zhou Mi rolls his eyes in a frustrated manner and gushes that he wants to know his fortune. Kyuhyun laughs and playfully ruffles Zhou Mi’s neat hair, and follows him into the hall. He counts until he reaches the 23rd statue and jots down the number above the statue. He then follows Zhou Mi outside to present the number in exchange for a golden card with his fortune, but he tucks it away without even taking a second glance.
“Scared your fortune isn’t good,eh?” Zhou Mi jokes as he eyes Kyuhyun’s action.
Kyuhyun nods, and says that life isn’t fun if you know what’s going to happen.
[][][]
They visit a few shops to buy souvenirs for friends and family. They buy a special gift for their manager, and one for Sungmin.
They haven’t heard from Sungmin directly since he’s too busy these days but from what Kyuhyun gathers from his search online, Sungmin is doing just fine so he doesn’t worry about him. He misses his leader, but he doesn’t tell anyone what he feels.
Zhou Mi pulls Kyuhyun into a stall for dinner and as they wait for dinner, Zhou Mi orders them jingjiu, that, according to Zhou Mi is “a healthy alternative to regular wines” and they cling their glasses together. Zhou Mi tells Kyuhyun how he had enjoyed going back after being in a foreign country for so long and Kyuhyun somehow felt sorry for his tall companion.
Zhou Mi had spent about two years training in Korea, before spending another two years in Japan. He never got to visit his family for more than a month in those four years, and Kyuhyun could understand why tears were threatening to spill out of Zhou Mi’s eyes.
Kyuhyun doesn’t know what to do. It was always Sungmin that handled situations like this, and Kyuhyun some so what panicked as he heard Zhou Mi sob loudly.
“It’ll be okay, I’m here for you.”
Kyuhyun doesn’t know what made Zhou Mi smile, whether it was his words, his hand caressing Zhou Mi’s or the wine. He hoped it was the wine, because Kyuhyun can’t handle having to break Zhou Mi’s heart.
[][][]
After about a year of debuting in China, they finally make it big. They won an award under Rookie category and they bought one too many bottles of wine on their way back to their shared apartment.
They drink to celebrate, share stories and reminisce about the old days when they were trainees, when they were in Japan, when they had Sungmin laughing along with them. Kyuhyun quiets then, and Zhou Mi took that opportunity to gently stroke Kyuhyun’s cheek.
“I know you like him, Kyuhyun. It’s okay, I don’t mind.”
Kyuhyun shakes his head and before he could stop himself, ask “How can you not mind, when you’ve liked me all this while?”
Zhou Mi looked into Kyuhyun’s eyes, emotions betraying his previous statement. Kyuhyun can’t handle this because they were supposed to be celebrating, not worry about each other’s heart ache when he felt Zhou Mi’s lips on his.
It was a chaste kiss, nothing more. It could mean nothing. It could even be a kiss shared between long term companions, like what Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi are.
But Kyuhyun knew it wasn’t only just that for Zhou Mi, and as Zhou Mi ended the kiss, Kyuhyun wrapped his hand around Zhou Mi’s neck and pulled Zhou Mi nearer.
Just for tonight, Kyuhyun’s breath ghosted over Zhou Mi’s lips and he took whatever that was given.
Kyuhyun pulled Zhou Mi up from their sitting position and stopped kissing to look Zhou Mi in the eyes as he traced patterns on Zhou Mi’s chest. His hands were then on Zhou Mi’s collar, unbuttoning gently, moving downwards and popping open buttons one by one. As Kyuhyun flung Zhou Mi’s shirt off, he caresses Zhou Mi’s stomach and watches as Zhou Mi closes his eyes, swallowing his saliva.
Kyuhyun bends down to take the tie he had took off earlier and untied the knot before wrapping it as a blindfold over Zhou Mi’s eyes. He ignored the protest and instead softly kissed Zhou Mi. Zhou Mi’s kisses were full of want but Kyuhyun instead kissed him tentatively, as if he was experimenting his new territory. He shoved his tongue into Zhou Mi’s mouth when he had the opportunity and felt desire rush over him as Zhou Mi responded by sucking his tongue.
Somehow in between kisses, Kyuhyun manages to stumble both of them into his room and tosses Zhou Mi on his bed. He doesn’t bother getting undressed, opting to get on top of Zhou Mi instead and continue kissing him. He readjusts his position until he was sitting directly above Zhou Mi’s erection and the moan that escaped Zhou Mi’s lips had Kyuhyun biting on Zhou Mi’s collarbone.
His kisses are sloppy and wet but Zhou Mi doesn’t seem to mind as they leave trails from his jaw, to his neck to currently his collarbone. Kyuhyun proceeds to lick his way to Zhou Mi’s nipple, licking and tasting and just drawing pleas from Zhou Mi. He sucks and gently bites Zhou Mi’s nipple before he kisses his way to the other nipple.
Kyuhyun sees Zhou Mi’s trembling lips, feels his legs wrapped tight around Kyuhyun’s waist as Kyuhyun goes lower. He impatiently takes off Zhou Mi’s pants and smirks as he see’s Zhou Mi complying along. Zhou Mi expects Kyuhyun to do something to his throbbing cock but instead he feels Kyuhyun’s tongue on one of his ribs and that’s when Zhou Mi asks impatiently Are you waiting for an invitation?
Zhou Mi feels Kyuhyun’s tongue glide downwards and then he felt a light suck to his crotch that made him bit his lip so hard and buck his hips and Kyuhyun has the nerve to tell him to be patient. Despite being blindfolded, Zhou Mi still could feel and he traced Kyuhyun’s chest down to his pant and just as he reached his cock, he gave it a squeeze that made Kyuhyun call him a number of curse words.
He didn’t mind, as long as it fastened the process.
He felt coldness as Kyuhyun stood up, going to get something. Zhou Mi grumbled and he heard Kyuhyun chuckle. Before long he was back, and Zhou Mi couldn’t register much after that because oh God, Kyuhyun was licking his neck and he felt cold lubrication on his crotch, before a hand started jerking him.
He moaned and subconsciously bucked into the touch, urging Kyuhyun with his own hand above his and kisses that drowned his moans and pleas of faster and faster. Their movement went from slow and steady to fast and erratic and he came as Kyuhyun shifted to his ear, sucking his lobe, his breath heavy and warm on Zhou Mi’s skin.
Zhou Mi breathes heavily as he tries to gather himself and moves towards Kyuhyun to finish off the job but was stopped by a hand on his chest and a chaste kiss to his cheek.
“Now you need to forget your feelings for me,” is what he hears coming from Kyuhyun’s mouth and before he could protest, he felt the bed shift and heard Kyuhyun walking towards the door. Soon after he heard the door close and Zhou Mi has a difficult time understanding what just happened.
[][][]
Kyuhyun heads for the bathroom for a shower. He jerks himself off rather hastily but it’s not Zhou Mi he imagines, instead its Sungmin’s touches, Sungmin kisses and Sungmin telling him to come for him.
Kyuhyun closes his eyes as he feels the water splash against his skin, and thinks on what to do with his twisted life.
[][][]
The next time Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi actually meet Sungmin again was six months later, about a year and half since they last met.
Kyuhyun notices that Sungmin has lost a lot of weight, his cheek bones are more prominent and his eye bags more obvious. He keeps his opinions to himself as he watches Zhou Mi exchange a hug with Sungmin.
It feels like returning home when Kyuhyun hugs Sungmin, and he recalls the familiar scent, the way his back feels under his touch, and he hears Sungmin whisper how much he misses them, and not only him.
He hides his disappointment and smiles as he’s being introduced to Ryeowook, who Kyuhyun thinks needs to eat more and grow a few centimeters in height.
“Sungmin hyung has told me so much about you guys,” Ryeowook starts off and Kyuhyun finds himself nodding along as if on cue. He sees how Sungmin smiles when Ryeowook talks, sees how his fingers are lingering near Ryeowook, as if he wants to touch but can’t.
They exchange stories but it was mostly Zhou Mi and Ryeowook talking, Sungmin opting to just listen and Kyuhyun studying their interaction as a whole.
“Does Kyuhyun not talk much?” Ryeowook asks about half an hour later, and Kyuhyun uses his regular excuse of not knowing how to act around strangers.
“But Ryeowook isn’t a stranger, is he?” Sungmin asks then and that’s when Kyuhyun sees it, their hands linking around each other.
Kyuhyun excuses himself to go to the toilet and returns only when Zhou Mi texts him, saying that they’re leaving.
[][][]
“It was never going to be you, Kyuhyun,” was Sungmin’s way of saying good bye to Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun bites on his lip and looks at his shoes because his heart probably can’t handle seeing Sungmin’s face at that moment.
Kyuhyun feels a peck on his cheek, and turns around before Sungmin could see the tears rolling down his cheek.
[][][]
Kyuhyun continues singing with Zhou Mi at China. They come back to Korea about a year later and did a few performances together before they slowly did their own schedules.
Kyuhyun occasionally cries at night and when Zhou Mi used to be around, he would come with a warm glass of milk and a box of tissue. Kyuhyun concludes that he deserves this kind of karma as he did the same thing to Zhou Mi, Zhou Mi tells him not to blame himself for the things that don’t go according to plan.
Kyuhyun gets up to kiss Zhou Mi one last time, and bids him farewell.
[][][]
Kyuhyun reasons that love was the worst thing that had ever happened to him.
a/n: omg look at my first trial of smut :3