045. I can feel you breathing and it's keeping me awake.
I don't really know how to explain the last two days because they were just this big headachy jumble of good and bad. Wednesday night I went to the mall with Spinner just... because. And got a piggyback ride and ate cheese fries and stayed the night with him at my house.
And then yesterday... yesterday was another fun conversation with Craig. The last one. And maybe I hurt him a little at first, but at least I finally get to hurt someone after all the times people have hurt me. And if I'm mad at him I don't have to feel bad for what I'm doing. And if I don't talk to him I don't have to keep thinking that he's right. So then Spinner came over and made me feel so much better about everything. Because I need him. A lot. No one understands about us except me and him, they couldn't. And he stayed like he promised. Because he has to. He's the only person I have left.
And then yesterday... yesterday was another fun conversation with Craig. The last one. And maybe I hurt him a little at first, but at least I finally get to hurt someone after all the times people have hurt me. And if I'm mad at him I don't have to feel bad for what I'm doing. And if I don't talk to him I don't have to keep thinking that he's right. So then Spinner came over and made me feel so much better about everything. Because I need him. A lot. No one understands about us except me and him, they couldn't. And he stayed like he promised. Because he has to. He's the only person I have left.