Gambit
It's different. It really is. When we are young we dream and think of what we want to do we make plans and set goals and try to get there as quick as we can. But every now and tehn we settle and become comfortable. We lose the drive to compete and we forget what our dreams and settle for what we are. No longer driven but comfortable. Just ordinary, when compared to the dreams before but happy at least. Happy with being ordinary.
I never dreamed that one day I'd find reason to cancel few of my dreams, that somehow I'd know of a certain feeling strong enough to make me think twice before I go on with my life. I never knew that I could be caught in a net of uncertainty this long. I cannot choose either for fear of losing one, but I cannot choose, because I desire to hold on to what I've found here, and I desire to not let go of my dreams. You can never have everything; sacrifices (gambits maybe) are certain over the course of human life. But I am afraid of regret and I feel the pain of desertion already.
It's been a year now, and the choice is still not made. I have no one to blame, not even time or happenstance.