No idea...
Now that I have a paid account, I have no idea how to get my journal looking the way I want it to look! Uggg! I really want to change my mood theme to something besides what they offer...have no idea how to do it!!! So for all you computer wizs out there.....HELP!
My ex isn't getting with that girl....she was a dumbass. We had a long talk tonight on the phone. It sucks so much how I just want to jump back in his arms and hold him....I know in my heart of hearts we could work out. We had so much shit happen to us in the past...most of it having to do with money issues.
I am trying so hard to get my life back in order. I am trying to keep my options open. I really want to meet new people. But it's hard when I don't have a vehicle. Him and I are still talking, still friends and still care ffor each other. The thing is...I don't think he believes that someone could care for him in someway beyond sex and the average relationship. I myself have issues with someone thinking I could be worthy of a lifetime commitment as well. Why do our lives have to be so complex. Why can't both of us just get back together and be able to make it work! Why can't I find love....I am so angry, sad, lonely, tired, frustrated and about a million other emotions. I just want someone there who will support me no matter what i go through and love me regardless.
It's 11:30 on a Saturday night and I am alone. The only person I've ever truly loved is a truck driver somewhere near Ohio right now. He busts his ass 24 hours a day and is as lonely as I am yet would never admit to it. I am sitting here and wishing some higher power could just lead me to love...lead me to Roland...lead me to....I don't know?
My ex isn't getting with that girl....she was a dumbass. We had a long talk tonight on the phone. It sucks so much how I just want to jump back in his arms and hold him....I know in my heart of hearts we could work out. We had so much shit happen to us in the past...most of it having to do with money issues.
I am trying so hard to get my life back in order. I am trying to keep my options open. I really want to meet new people. But it's hard when I don't have a vehicle. Him and I are still talking, still friends and still care ffor each other. The thing is...I don't think he believes that someone could care for him in someway beyond sex and the average relationship. I myself have issues with someone thinking I could be worthy of a lifetime commitment as well. Why do our lives have to be so complex. Why can't both of us just get back together and be able to make it work! Why can't I find love....I am so angry, sad, lonely, tired, frustrated and about a million other emotions. I just want someone there who will support me no matter what i go through and love me regardless.
It's 11:30 on a Saturday night and I am alone. The only person I've ever truly loved is a truck driver somewhere near Ohio right now. He busts his ass 24 hours a day and is as lonely as I am yet would never admit to it. I am sitting here and wishing some higher power could just lead me to love...lead me to Roland...lead me to....I don't know?