(no subject)
Still fighting with running. As I mentioned before, it's not the running part that bothers me. My chest is still out of wack.
I make it sound like it's some cold I had earlier, which isn't really true. I've always had this problem. Suspected to be asthma; I stay far, far away from doctors, and certainly don't let them poke about my breathing when I do go; the little tidbit that not only do I have these problems, but that my nose doesn't like to function intrigues them terribly. I like doctors to just leave me alone.
It's bothering me- been running for a couple of weeks and no signs of progress. Of course, i'm no ready beginner. I start launched off in a full program, don't bother working up to anything, and think it'll never work whenever it doesn't show any immediate signs. It just so happens that i'm too bullheaded to stop even if it doesn't.
This was always a mettlesome problem for me in karate, especially during the summer. I remember a few instances- no air conditioning, 90+ degree days in full gi and gear, and we'd be sparring nonstop. Not like we ordinarily would- not doing block and counters and then breaking off into the rings for seperate interspersed matches. These were fighting nonstop, against a new opponent each time; either the whole class would do it, and just rotate, which was alright, or you'd be selected to go in the ring, and then fight your way through the all of the advanced and black belts in the dojo, no stopping for points, no breaks, and no pauses between people as fresh faces would seamlessly blend in. I remember one of those instances, repeated a few times over to where they all blend together in my mind- to stubborn to stop until break was finally called, having lost all ability to breathe steadily several rounds in. And by the time they called it won, it would be everything i could do to keep standing. It was like the world stopped- dehydrated, face dark, head swimming, i couldn't see, and then my lungs would seize up, breath stopped for tangible counts. By the time I recovered- recovered meaning breathe, barely trusting myself to walk, and I would reach out to get a drink and realise that my hands were shaking, spasming uncontrollably, beyond any will of control i had.
Speaking of which
It's official. On Thursday, Uke returns. I'm going back to karate.
Not like I used to. Before it was six days a week, four hours a day. I've got commitments I have to keep even if I wanted to go that often, but the point of this is to utilise it, not screw myself over. I still have too many things I need to do- I'm going to take it careful this time. Which means, no sparring, not yet. Frankly I don't trust my control- one, that i'd be that happy to have bloodsport again that whoever's fighting against me had better be ready to make up for a year and a half long absence. Secondly, that it took me a year of doing pushups and extra kicks because of excessive contacts (touch to the face is not allowed,light touch to the headgear is; excessive contract is headsnap, redness, swelling, or bleeding. Ahem. Guess which category I always got in trouble for?) It was a weekly occurance, and, frankly, not what I need on my first day back.
Though, as my mother and I discussed, it would be very typical. And Sensei would just smirk behind his goatee, trying not to look approving as he sent me to the appropriate punishement. He always said I was the only girl he's ever had that would fight, fight hard, and laugh the entire way through. My mother said she'd be proud to have be come back, saying "That's my daughter!" as I kick somebody in the head.
She also said that she'd be proud of me because now there's all sorts of young men around that I'd be a higher rank then, and they would all be looking and interested and wondering who the chick in the black is, and that I can still beat all of them up. I love having family that fight just as hard as I do.
I'm antsy, now, anticipating. Pouring over my study books and making sure I remember all of my katas, all of the sparring drills, defensive techniques. Should probably go over knife and club too, but I think i remember that still-it's mostly instinctive. I can't wait. I'm going to have to force myself not to fight somebody. We should have been testing for our blackbelts together- to think, if i stayed with it, I could have had it over the summer! That wouldn't have worked, though, and I still have time to win it. It's just nice to know that the Contact Queens are back.
I make it sound like it's some cold I had earlier, which isn't really true. I've always had this problem. Suspected to be asthma; I stay far, far away from doctors, and certainly don't let them poke about my breathing when I do go; the little tidbit that not only do I have these problems, but that my nose doesn't like to function intrigues them terribly. I like doctors to just leave me alone.
It's bothering me- been running for a couple of weeks and no signs of progress. Of course, i'm no ready beginner. I start launched off in a full program, don't bother working up to anything, and think it'll never work whenever it doesn't show any immediate signs. It just so happens that i'm too bullheaded to stop even if it doesn't.
This was always a mettlesome problem for me in karate, especially during the summer. I remember a few instances- no air conditioning, 90+ degree days in full gi and gear, and we'd be sparring nonstop. Not like we ordinarily would- not doing block and counters and then breaking off into the rings for seperate interspersed matches. These were fighting nonstop, against a new opponent each time; either the whole class would do it, and just rotate, which was alright, or you'd be selected to go in the ring, and then fight your way through the all of the advanced and black belts in the dojo, no stopping for points, no breaks, and no pauses between people as fresh faces would seamlessly blend in. I remember one of those instances, repeated a few times over to where they all blend together in my mind- to stubborn to stop until break was finally called, having lost all ability to breathe steadily several rounds in. And by the time they called it won, it would be everything i could do to keep standing. It was like the world stopped- dehydrated, face dark, head swimming, i couldn't see, and then my lungs would seize up, breath stopped for tangible counts. By the time I recovered- recovered meaning breathe, barely trusting myself to walk, and I would reach out to get a drink and realise that my hands were shaking, spasming uncontrollably, beyond any will of control i had.
Speaking of which
It's official. On Thursday, Uke returns. I'm going back to karate.
Not like I used to. Before it was six days a week, four hours a day. I've got commitments I have to keep even if I wanted to go that often, but the point of this is to utilise it, not screw myself over. I still have too many things I need to do- I'm going to take it careful this time. Which means, no sparring, not yet. Frankly I don't trust my control- one, that i'd be that happy to have bloodsport again that whoever's fighting against me had better be ready to make up for a year and a half long absence. Secondly, that it took me a year of doing pushups and extra kicks because of excessive contacts (touch to the face is not allowed,light touch to the headgear is; excessive contract is headsnap, redness, swelling, or bleeding. Ahem. Guess which category I always got in trouble for?) It was a weekly occurance, and, frankly, not what I need on my first day back.
Though, as my mother and I discussed, it would be very typical. And Sensei would just smirk behind his goatee, trying not to look approving as he sent me to the appropriate punishement. He always said I was the only girl he's ever had that would fight, fight hard, and laugh the entire way through. My mother said she'd be proud to have be come back, saying "That's my daughter!" as I kick somebody in the head.
She also said that she'd be proud of me because now there's all sorts of young men around that I'd be a higher rank then, and they would all be looking and interested and wondering who the chick in the black is, and that I can still beat all of them up. I love having family that fight just as hard as I do.
I'm antsy, now, anticipating. Pouring over my study books and making sure I remember all of my katas, all of the sparring drills, defensive techniques. Should probably go over knife and club too, but I think i remember that still-it's mostly instinctive. I can't wait. I'm going to have to force myself not to fight somebody. We should have been testing for our blackbelts together- to think, if i stayed with it, I could have had it over the summer! That wouldn't have worked, though, and I still have time to win it. It's just nice to know that the Contact Queens are back.