jesus christ, how horrifying, the sequel.
I had a nightmare last night. And the night before. I forgot the one I had the night before, but since I've only been up for like five minutes I remember the last one. I don't get what's with all these nightmares, but you can bet your ass I'm going to look up what they mean because I like that.
I was playing a Resident Evil: Outbreak game, which was played in first person. I was playing as Cindy with a knife. I was at the end of her scenario where everything comes together. Except nothing came together for her. She enters a room and looks out a window, then she hears someone coming in behind her. She runs for the closet and hides, but she doesn't close it in time and he sees the door sort of cracked open because of her foot. It was a really tiny closet. She pulls her feet closer to her and waits with her knife held to her chest, and then the man comes and grabs for her and she starts squirming. Then the game ends or something because the scene switched. My Mom is interested in stuff like that, so I decide to show her and I do. Then I go to sleep.
OH BEFORE THAT
I dreamt about Vic Mignona too, for some reason. He looked like one of the Outsiders and he was in a dance class. Then he got sent back in time (or to the future? I don't know, but there was some time traveling involved) to another dance class, which was full of people with down syndrome. (Or is it Down's Syndrome? I have no idea; I should look that up.) I managed to find my way there, too. Vic Mignona died or something because once I hit the scene he was gone. Everyone was dancing and I'm like "Well why not" so I danced too. I didn't move my hips enough, even though I felt like I did. I just felt like sharing that because I feel that was a super important detail. Sort of links to real life. I feel like I'm doing something decently out of everything else which I can't really do, and then it turns out horrible. At least I looked cute in this dream.
Then I played the game, and then I went to sleep. The room was shared by the whole dance class and also Natalie Tran from community channel. She was supposed to be Chelsea in this. Somehow. We joked about sex. And then I told her about the game I was playing which...somehow was going to kill me, I don't remember how that was established. So Natalie wants to see. I figure as long as I'm out of the house early enough I'll be home free, so I decide to call Mom beforehand to come pick me up from the house and that I only have 20 minutes to live. The phone, however, is off the hook, as in it's presumably working but the receiver isn't hung up and it's a cord phone. I didn't even try to use it because I was worried I would ruin Janet's (Chelsea's mom) conversation with Rodney, who is not her boyfriend anymore. Even in the face of death I don't want to be a burden, apparently, even though if I don't burden the people around me I'd die and I'm sure they'd understand if I did. I didn't call Mom and Natalie activated the milk jug which had Hades in it. (I am not fucking kidding. It was a milk bottle. To activate, you have to press the plastic bag it was in against its nutrition facts.) Thanks a lot, best friend. So now I'm running around rampantly out in the back yard trying to find a way out. All of the fences are climbable if I put my mind to it. (Why I didn't go through the front door fist is beyond me, though.) However, there are little lines of fishing wire across the top, and I"m afraid that they're electric fences and don't go through them. Electrocution? I'd rather die! And die I did.
Or I would have if I didn't wake up. My throat was so dry for some reason so I went to get a drink.
I was fucking freaked out. I hate nightmares, god dammit. What's with all this shit? It's probably because I'm nervous. I hope that's just what it is. I hate waking up alone and scared in the dark, which I'm scared of so that just adds to everything. ;_; And then to top everything off, when I woke up all the lights were on like normal (Mom has work today), the TV was on, but Mom wasn't there. Begin irrational thought processes. "WHAT IF SOMEONE IS ACTUALLY HERE IN REAL LIFE TO KILL ME AND THE DREAM WAS A WARNING?" I did figure that Mom was probably in hers and Dad's room getting dressed, but I apparently favored the more negative idea that she, along with the rest of my family, was dead and stacked in a pile out by the burn pit. When I went to go get a drink and look for Mom, Timmy wanted to go outside, but I was too scared to let him out because I didn't want to go anywhere near a patch of darkness, which is basically what the entire back porch was, so I said fuck that and went back in the living room. I decided that if Tyler was still in his room everything would be okay. And he was there, of course. Good for me.
Going to the doctor's today, too. Going to get the HPV shot as per Mom's request, have to get my perscriptions filled (because apparently I didn't do it right last time, even though I followed all the directions to the letter and it wasn't my fault that my pills had no refills), and there are some other things I have to talk about. Then I'm coming home. Mom's probably going to be home before I am.
I hope this stupid HPV vaccination doesn't god damn hurt. I'm wary of new shots because I'm worried they'll be gigantic penny-sized needles being stabbed into my arm. Tetanus shots, not so much. That was so ridiculously painless until three days later. Other shots, yes.
"If your child is not sexually active now, there's still a chance they can get HPV later."
When they become sexually active?
What the bull fucking hell, man. I'm never going to have sex in my life. Ever. Although better safe than sorry. And that was a joke, by the way. Someday I hope to have little babies to celebrate Christmas with because that's fun. ;_;
But that's enough of that. This was an entry about a nightmare, not babies. Although I guess they could both fall under the same category, heehee. I'm going to go look that shit up and see what I get.
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Okay, interpretation time.
To dream that you are dancing, signifies freedom from any constraints and restrictions. Your life is in balance and in harmony. Dancing also represents frivolity, happiness, gracefulness, sensuality and sexual desires. You need to incorporate these qualities in your waking life.
To dream that you are in dance class, indicates that you need to learn to let go. The dream may also be a metaphor that you are learning the steps to some new project, new process or new stage in your life.
To dream that you are lost in the darkness, denotes feelings of desperation, depression, or insecurity.
To dream that you are groping around in the darkness, indicates that you have insufficient information to make a clear decision. Do your research and do not rush into making choices. (Welp.)
To dream that have reached a dead end (The backyard) indicates that you have come to an abrupt end in the pursuit of your goals. You must find another way to achieve your goals because the current path is not working out. Alternatively, the dream may be telling you that you are going nowhere. Perhaps, the dream is symbolic of a dead end job or a dead end relationship. You need to reevaluate your options. (That's symbolic.)
To dream that you die in your dream, symbolizes inner changes, transformation, self-discovery and positive development that is happening within you or your life. You are undergoing a transitional phase and are becoming more enlightened or spiritual. Although such a dream may bring about feelings of fear and anxiety, it is no cause for alarm as it is often considered a positive symbol. Dreams of experiencing your own death usually means that big changes are ahead for you. You are moving on to new beginnings and leaving the past behind. These changes does not necessarily imply a negative turn of events. Metaphorically, dying can be seen as an end or a termination to your old ways and habits. So, dying does not always mean a physical death, but an ending of something.
On a negative note, to dream that you die may represent involvement in deeply painful relationships or unhealthy, destructive behaviors. You may feeling depressed or feel strangled by a situation or person in your waking life. Perhaps your mind is preoccupied with someone who is terminally ill or dying. Alternatively, you may be trying to get out of some obligation, responsibility or other situation. You are desperately trying to escape from the demands of your daily life. (The former is more fitting because none of those last things apply to me, save for the depression, but those come in little waves and then they're gone, so it's not really depression.)
So while my dream was terrifying as all hell (and still is, despite this fact), it actually pretty much meant awakening and rebirth. And "start doing shit; you're going nowhere with life."
That is fucking awesome, especially considering that I'm going to do just that today. Not because of the dream; I had things to do today that would essentially change my life for the better that I decided on months ago, actually, but everything is coming to fruition today. Realizing this, I'm almost as excited as the Broly in my icon.
Almost.
It was scared Broly before (sort of scared...if you look at it right), but then I looked up what it meant and how relative it was.
I love looking too much into things, especially when they make sense. I'm probably the only one that does this, though. It's just something I like doing. I love the way the brain works.
I want to be a psychologist someday.
I was playing a Resident Evil: Outbreak game, which was played in first person. I was playing as Cindy with a knife. I was at the end of her scenario where everything comes together. Except nothing came together for her. She enters a room and looks out a window, then she hears someone coming in behind her. She runs for the closet and hides, but she doesn't close it in time and he sees the door sort of cracked open because of her foot. It was a really tiny closet. She pulls her feet closer to her and waits with her knife held to her chest, and then the man comes and grabs for her and she starts squirming. Then the game ends or something because the scene switched. My Mom is interested in stuff like that, so I decide to show her and I do. Then I go to sleep.
OH BEFORE THAT
I dreamt about Vic Mignona too, for some reason. He looked like one of the Outsiders and he was in a dance class. Then he got sent back in time (or to the future? I don't know, but there was some time traveling involved) to another dance class, which was full of people with down syndrome. (Or is it Down's Syndrome? I have no idea; I should look that up.) I managed to find my way there, too. Vic Mignona died or something because once I hit the scene he was gone. Everyone was dancing and I'm like "Well why not" so I danced too. I didn't move my hips enough, even though I felt like I did. I just felt like sharing that because I feel that was a super important detail. Sort of links to real life. I feel like I'm doing something decently out of everything else which I can't really do, and then it turns out horrible. At least I looked cute in this dream.
Then I played the game, and then I went to sleep. The room was shared by the whole dance class and also Natalie Tran from community channel. She was supposed to be Chelsea in this. Somehow. We joked about sex. And then I told her about the game I was playing which...somehow was going to kill me, I don't remember how that was established. So Natalie wants to see. I figure as long as I'm out of the house early enough I'll be home free, so I decide to call Mom beforehand to come pick me up from the house and that I only have 20 minutes to live. The phone, however, is off the hook, as in it's presumably working but the receiver isn't hung up and it's a cord phone. I didn't even try to use it because I was worried I would ruin Janet's (Chelsea's mom) conversation with Rodney, who is not her boyfriend anymore. Even in the face of death I don't want to be a burden, apparently, even though if I don't burden the people around me I'd die and I'm sure they'd understand if I did. I didn't call Mom and Natalie activated the milk jug which had Hades in it. (I am not fucking kidding. It was a milk bottle. To activate, you have to press the plastic bag it was in against its nutrition facts.) Thanks a lot, best friend. So now I'm running around rampantly out in the back yard trying to find a way out. All of the fences are climbable if I put my mind to it. (Why I didn't go through the front door fist is beyond me, though.) However, there are little lines of fishing wire across the top, and I"m afraid that they're electric fences and don't go through them. Electrocution? I'd rather die! And die I did.
Or I would have if I didn't wake up. My throat was so dry for some reason so I went to get a drink.
I was fucking freaked out. I hate nightmares, god dammit. What's with all this shit? It's probably because I'm nervous. I hope that's just what it is. I hate waking up alone and scared in the dark, which I'm scared of so that just adds to everything. ;_; And then to top everything off, when I woke up all the lights were on like normal (Mom has work today), the TV was on, but Mom wasn't there. Begin irrational thought processes. "WHAT IF SOMEONE IS ACTUALLY HERE IN REAL LIFE TO KILL ME AND THE DREAM WAS A WARNING?" I did figure that Mom was probably in hers and Dad's room getting dressed, but I apparently favored the more negative idea that she, along with the rest of my family, was dead and stacked in a pile out by the burn pit. When I went to go get a drink and look for Mom, Timmy wanted to go outside, but I was too scared to let him out because I didn't want to go anywhere near a patch of darkness, which is basically what the entire back porch was, so I said fuck that and went back in the living room. I decided that if Tyler was still in his room everything would be okay. And he was there, of course. Good for me.
Going to the doctor's today, too. Going to get the HPV shot as per Mom's request, have to get my perscriptions filled (because apparently I didn't do it right last time, even though I followed all the directions to the letter and it wasn't my fault that my pills had no refills), and there are some other things I have to talk about. Then I'm coming home. Mom's probably going to be home before I am.
I hope this stupid HPV vaccination doesn't god damn hurt. I'm wary of new shots because I'm worried they'll be gigantic penny-sized needles being stabbed into my arm. Tetanus shots, not so much. That was so ridiculously painless until three days later. Other shots, yes.
"If your child is not sexually active now, there's still a chance they can get HPV later."
When they become sexually active?
What the bull fucking hell, man. I'm never going to have sex in my life. Ever. Although better safe than sorry. And that was a joke, by the way. Someday I hope to have little babies to celebrate Christmas with because that's fun. ;_;
But that's enough of that. This was an entry about a nightmare, not babies. Although I guess they could both fall under the same category, heehee. I'm going to go look that shit up and see what I get.
----------
Okay, interpretation time.
To dream that you are dancing, signifies freedom from any constraints and restrictions. Your life is in balance and in harmony. Dancing also represents frivolity, happiness, gracefulness, sensuality and sexual desires. You need to incorporate these qualities in your waking life.
To dream that you are in dance class, indicates that you need to learn to let go. The dream may also be a metaphor that you are learning the steps to some new project, new process or new stage in your life.
To dream that you are lost in the darkness, denotes feelings of desperation, depression, or insecurity.
To dream that you are groping around in the darkness, indicates that you have insufficient information to make a clear decision. Do your research and do not rush into making choices. (Welp.)
To dream that have reached a dead end (The backyard) indicates that you have come to an abrupt end in the pursuit of your goals. You must find another way to achieve your goals because the current path is not working out. Alternatively, the dream may be telling you that you are going nowhere. Perhaps, the dream is symbolic of a dead end job or a dead end relationship. You need to reevaluate your options. (That's symbolic.)
To dream that you die in your dream, symbolizes inner changes, transformation, self-discovery and positive development that is happening within you or your life. You are undergoing a transitional phase and are becoming more enlightened or spiritual. Although such a dream may bring about feelings of fear and anxiety, it is no cause for alarm as it is often considered a positive symbol. Dreams of experiencing your own death usually means that big changes are ahead for you. You are moving on to new beginnings and leaving the past behind. These changes does not necessarily imply a negative turn of events. Metaphorically, dying can be seen as an end or a termination to your old ways and habits. So, dying does not always mean a physical death, but an ending of something.
On a negative note, to dream that you die may represent involvement in deeply painful relationships or unhealthy, destructive behaviors. You may feeling depressed or feel strangled by a situation or person in your waking life. Perhaps your mind is preoccupied with someone who is terminally ill or dying. Alternatively, you may be trying to get out of some obligation, responsibility or other situation. You are desperately trying to escape from the demands of your daily life. (The former is more fitting because none of those last things apply to me, save for the depression, but those come in little waves and then they're gone, so it's not really depression.)
So while my dream was terrifying as all hell (and still is, despite this fact), it actually pretty much meant awakening and rebirth. And "start doing shit; you're going nowhere with life."
That is fucking awesome, especially considering that I'm going to do just that today. Not because of the dream; I had things to do today that would essentially change my life for the better that I decided on months ago, actually, but everything is coming to fruition today. Realizing this, I'm almost as excited as the Broly in my icon.
Almost.
It was scared Broly before (sort of scared...if you look at it right), but then I looked up what it meant and how relative it was.
I love looking too much into things, especially when they make sense. I'm probably the only one that does this, though. It's just something I like doing. I love the way the brain works.
I want to be a psychologist someday.