18 years is a long time.
So it's the big one eight.
I like that it wasn't a big deal. I don't feel like it's a big deal. Just the usual junk, I can go to clubs (which I despise btw) and get ciggs (which are disgusting) and buy porn (which is equally disgusting). I think not making a big thing out of your birthday keeps you grounded. If people want to celebrate their birthdays just for gifts and attention, that's lame. You should feel different (perhaps better) about yourself rather than hope people will see you differently now that you're "grown up."
I have conflicting thoughts going on in my head lately. On the one hand, I feel like I made the right choice when I chose to come to Davis. I absolutely looove the quiet and all of the flora and fauna here. I feel natural and bohemian lol. I live for walks to class in the afternoon sun. I also love walking at night, listening to bikes whizz by and being able to see the stars clearly at night. I love being in my room alone, watching tv and relaxing. I don't always feel the need to be doing something. Just enjoying the simple pleasures of life. On the other hand, I feel like I'm wasting my time and should be more proactive. I feel like I should be joining a club or at least meeting people or partying or something. I just don't know what it is that I ought to be doing. I'm just worrying too much.
School is going fine. Classes are fairly enjoyable. I just had my first exam on Monday and I got an A :) But I shouldn't be overconfident because the test was actually pretty easy. The professor didn't think it was easy but I guess her other students just didn't study or something. I have one midterm today and another tomorrow. Gross. I can't wait for this week to be over. Knowing that I won't be back in SF until Halloween is killing me. There are some (actually, many) reasons why I am completely glad that I'm away and some reasons that make me want to just cut class and go back now. There are so many conflicting feelings in my life right now. It's confusing. I don't like being confused. I'm too OCD for that shit. I like to have a plan and know what I'm doing.
I don't know what I should do. What I should be doing.
I like that it wasn't a big deal. I don't feel like it's a big deal. Just the usual junk, I can go to clubs (which I despise btw) and get ciggs (which are disgusting) and buy porn (which is equally disgusting). I think not making a big thing out of your birthday keeps you grounded. If people want to celebrate their birthdays just for gifts and attention, that's lame. You should feel different (perhaps better) about yourself rather than hope people will see you differently now that you're "grown up."
I have conflicting thoughts going on in my head lately. On the one hand, I feel like I made the right choice when I chose to come to Davis. I absolutely looove the quiet and all of the flora and fauna here. I feel natural and bohemian lol. I live for walks to class in the afternoon sun. I also love walking at night, listening to bikes whizz by and being able to see the stars clearly at night. I love being in my room alone, watching tv and relaxing. I don't always feel the need to be doing something. Just enjoying the simple pleasures of life. On the other hand, I feel like I'm wasting my time and should be more proactive. I feel like I should be joining a club or at least meeting people or partying or something. I just don't know what it is that I ought to be doing. I'm just worrying too much.
School is going fine. Classes are fairly enjoyable. I just had my first exam on Monday and I got an A :) But I shouldn't be overconfident because the test was actually pretty easy. The professor didn't think it was easy but I guess her other students just didn't study or something. I have one midterm today and another tomorrow. Gross. I can't wait for this week to be over. Knowing that I won't be back in SF until Halloween is killing me. There are some (actually, many) reasons why I am completely glad that I'm away and some reasons that make me want to just cut class and go back now. There are so many conflicting feelings in my life right now. It's confusing. I don't like being confused. I'm too OCD for that shit. I like to have a plan and know what I'm doing.
I don't know what I should do. What I should be doing.