Trousers Interlude 1.5
Just a little thing explaining how the Dark Clones got shrunk. It didn't fit in the main body of Patching the Trousers, because that's all being done from a combination of Leo's POV and focused omnipotent narration. But still, I needed a reason for them to be itty-bitty. So thus did I write this.
Patching the Trousers
Or: This is entirely Kay the Cricketed’s fault, because yes, dammit, Leo needs babies.
Concept: Take other mutant turtles that have shown up in the various TMNT universes. Shrink them. Put them in a box. Put the box in Leo’s room. Insist that the baby!turtles call him “mommy”. Also, Leonardo does a lot of dimension hopping, so let’s see how many plot holes we can chuck him through before he gets airsick.
Timeline: Patchwork, but mostly based on the end of Fast Forward and heavily biased towards the 2003 cartoon and the new 2007 movie. The new characters that show up and some of the events described are taken from both movies and spin-offs.
Pairing: April/Casey, Raphael/Leonardo, Michelangelo/Donatello, some hints of OT4, and I wanna introduce Splinter to Casey’s Mom. I think that I’ll make Mrs. Jones/Splinter my new crack!OTP.
Warnings: Crack leik whoa, slash, turtlecest, mommy!Leo, and author insertions cleverly disguised as various OC’s.
Summary: How the Dark Turtle Clones got shrunk… and no, I am not making this shit up. This actually happens in canon, or at least one version of it. I love the 80’s, don’t you?
XD-XP
Sequence the First Interlude: Leo, the Foot Have Shrunk Your Clones!
XD-XP
The thing to realize about Dimension X is that it is more than just a little bit insane. For example, Oroku Saki, called the Shredder, probably never would have considered creating a serum that shrunk the Ninja Turtles back down into small children and selling them to a space-faring circus menagerie. Yet he did that, instead of just feeding them a deadly poison, which undoubtedly would have gotten at least two of the turtles out of his way. No, instead, he de-ages them.
What a moron.
Still, when his brilliant plan failed (as we no doubt guessed it would) Shredder ordered the youth serum disposed of. Obviously he did not want reminders of his failure hanging around. Of course, given the quality of intelligence among Shredders troops, it is no big stretch of the imagination to guess that they would somehow manage to mess the disposal up too.
Time went by though, and as none of his forces ended up mysteriously younger than they should be, Shredder was forced to admit that for once in their lives Be-bop and Rocksteady seemed to have carried out their orders without screwing it up. A miracle to be sure, the Shredder marvelled to Krang one evening over dinner and plotting world domination.
Oh if only he knew.
The two mutant punks had taken the remaining barrels of serum and, like any New Yorker with a less than devout appreciation for the law and dumping zones, had left them piled up in the desert a fairly good distance from the Technodrome.
Who knows what sort of humorous hi-jinks this lackadaisical attention to the environment would have produced in time? Who could anticipate the wacky fun waiting to be discovered in this forgotten, toxic fountain of youth?
We will never know.
A large portal tore open the air, the fabric of reality twisting around the raw edges as five figures fell from the sky. One landed relatively gently in a sand cushioned clearing between the rocks, some three hundred meters away from the barrels. The other four however, landed in a tangled jumble of limbs right on top of the containers in question. The waste barrels, already weakened by Be-bop and Rocksteady’s rough treatment and unprotected exposure to the weather collapsed underneath their weight.
A flood of brightly coloured liquid sprayed up, drenching the unconscious Dark Turtle Clones from head to toe. The shock of getting wet was enough to rouse them, and cursing ensued as they scrambled away from the rapidly disappearing puddle, spitting as they did so in an attempt to get the mix of sand and liquid out of their mouths. It was a good think they moved when they did, because no sooner had they gotten themselves free of the debris than the pile of rocks, long held up by the presence of the barrels and shifted by the recent excitement, tumbled down. Sand and stone quickly covered the remaining puddles of de-ager and what was left of the flattened containers.
“Ooo…” Said Dark Don, “That would have hurt.”
“Eech what is this junk?” Dark Raph asked, sniffing at his arm.
“Eeww, it got in my mouth!” Dark Mike gagged and spat.
“Maybe you should learn to keep it shut better!” Dark Leo snapped, wiping futilely at the liquid on his plastron.
Within moments the toxin had sunk into their highly absorbent skins, disappearing entirely within a minute. The Dark Turtles looked at each other, a faint niggling sense of wrongness starting up in the back of their heads.
“Um.” Dark Mike started, “Does anyone else feel funny?”
“Forget that.” Dark Leo put in, “Does anyone else notice that the rocks are getting bigger?”
None of them had time to say anything else, because by that point the serum was in full swing and within seconds all four of the Dark Turtles had been reduced to turtle tots. They looked at each other with wide, innocent eyes, memories of their adult lives, even of the last few minutes, completely forgotten.
End Interlude…
Tsuzuku…
XD-XP
End Notes:
Hope this clears up some confusion about how the Dark Clones got shrunk!
I love the 80’s cartoon. So much crack to utilize to my advantage.
…
Mwahahaha!
So what do you all think? Unbelievable how some of this crack is canon, isn't it? <3
Patching the Trousers
Or: This is entirely Kay the Cricketed’s fault, because yes, dammit, Leo needs babies.
Concept: Take other mutant turtles that have shown up in the various TMNT universes. Shrink them. Put them in a box. Put the box in Leo’s room. Insist that the baby!turtles call him “mommy”. Also, Leonardo does a lot of dimension hopping, so let’s see how many plot holes we can chuck him through before he gets airsick.
Timeline: Patchwork, but mostly based on the end of Fast Forward and heavily biased towards the 2003 cartoon and the new 2007 movie. The new characters that show up and some of the events described are taken from both movies and spin-offs.
Pairing: April/Casey, Raphael/Leonardo, Michelangelo/Donatello, some hints of OT4, and I wanna introduce Splinter to Casey’s Mom. I think that I’ll make Mrs. Jones/Splinter my new crack!OTP.
Warnings: Crack leik whoa, slash, turtlecest, mommy!Leo, and author insertions cleverly disguised as various OC’s.
Summary: How the Dark Turtle Clones got shrunk… and no, I am not making this shit up. This actually happens in canon, or at least one version of it. I love the 80’s, don’t you?
XD-XP
Sequence the First Interlude: Leo, the Foot Have Shrunk Your Clones!
XD-XP
The thing to realize about Dimension X is that it is more than just a little bit insane. For example, Oroku Saki, called the Shredder, probably never would have considered creating a serum that shrunk the Ninja Turtles back down into small children and selling them to a space-faring circus menagerie. Yet he did that, instead of just feeding them a deadly poison, which undoubtedly would have gotten at least two of the turtles out of his way. No, instead, he de-ages them.
What a moron.
Still, when his brilliant plan failed (as we no doubt guessed it would) Shredder ordered the youth serum disposed of. Obviously he did not want reminders of his failure hanging around. Of course, given the quality of intelligence among Shredders troops, it is no big stretch of the imagination to guess that they would somehow manage to mess the disposal up too.
Time went by though, and as none of his forces ended up mysteriously younger than they should be, Shredder was forced to admit that for once in their lives Be-bop and Rocksteady seemed to have carried out their orders without screwing it up. A miracle to be sure, the Shredder marvelled to Krang one evening over dinner and plotting world domination.
Oh if only he knew.
The two mutant punks had taken the remaining barrels of serum and, like any New Yorker with a less than devout appreciation for the law and dumping zones, had left them piled up in the desert a fairly good distance from the Technodrome.
Who knows what sort of humorous hi-jinks this lackadaisical attention to the environment would have produced in time? Who could anticipate the wacky fun waiting to be discovered in this forgotten, toxic fountain of youth?
We will never know.
A large portal tore open the air, the fabric of reality twisting around the raw edges as five figures fell from the sky. One landed relatively gently in a sand cushioned clearing between the rocks, some three hundred meters away from the barrels. The other four however, landed in a tangled jumble of limbs right on top of the containers in question. The waste barrels, already weakened by Be-bop and Rocksteady’s rough treatment and unprotected exposure to the weather collapsed underneath their weight.
A flood of brightly coloured liquid sprayed up, drenching the unconscious Dark Turtle Clones from head to toe. The shock of getting wet was enough to rouse them, and cursing ensued as they scrambled away from the rapidly disappearing puddle, spitting as they did so in an attempt to get the mix of sand and liquid out of their mouths. It was a good think they moved when they did, because no sooner had they gotten themselves free of the debris than the pile of rocks, long held up by the presence of the barrels and shifted by the recent excitement, tumbled down. Sand and stone quickly covered the remaining puddles of de-ager and what was left of the flattened containers.
“Ooo…” Said Dark Don, “That would have hurt.”
“Eech what is this junk?” Dark Raph asked, sniffing at his arm.
“Eeww, it got in my mouth!” Dark Mike gagged and spat.
“Maybe you should learn to keep it shut better!” Dark Leo snapped, wiping futilely at the liquid on his plastron.
Within moments the toxin had sunk into their highly absorbent skins, disappearing entirely within a minute. The Dark Turtles looked at each other, a faint niggling sense of wrongness starting up in the back of their heads.
“Um.” Dark Mike started, “Does anyone else feel funny?”
“Forget that.” Dark Leo put in, “Does anyone else notice that the rocks are getting bigger?”
None of them had time to say anything else, because by that point the serum was in full swing and within seconds all four of the Dark Turtles had been reduced to turtle tots. They looked at each other with wide, innocent eyes, memories of their adult lives, even of the last few minutes, completely forgotten.
End Interlude…
Tsuzuku…
XD-XP
End Notes:
Hope this clears up some confusion about how the Dark Clones got shrunk!
I love the 80’s cartoon. So much crack to utilize to my advantage.
…
Mwahahaha!
So what do you all think? Unbelievable how some of this crack is canon, isn't it? <3