Tis better to give than to receive... and if you like, I can give you a private demonstration.
Title: For Love Of…
A Final Fantasy VII Fanfiction
Author: Sanjuno Shori Niko
Summary: Well this is... different.
Timeline: More of this fic here.
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(In which Cid prods metaphysical buttock.)
Captain Cid Highwind cursed a bluestreak and kicked the side of the twisted pile of scrap that had been his plane up until a half-hour ago. Still muttering to himself, Cid looked around. Aside from the still-smoking heap of ex-airplane there was no sign of human habitation. Just mountains and sky for as far as the human eye could see. Which had been exactly what Cid Highwind had been looking for. No morons to distract him or give him sad looks, just plenty of room to spread his wings. Which was now a smoking pile of modern art. Fuck. Was he cursed? It seemed that he lost every pair of wings he built. Angered by the maudlin turn of his thoughts Cid cursed again until he felt better. Then he salvaged what he could from his plane and took a careful look around. He spotted a cave a further ways up the mountain, and shouldering the makeshift pack of supplies he started making his way up the steep incline.
When he finally managed to haul himself over the lip of the cliff-edge protrusion in front of the cave Cid gave himself a moment to just lie still and breathe.
“Fuck. Maybe I should cut back on the cigs.” Cid stared thoughtfully at the sky as he considered the idea, “Nah.”
Hauling himself to his feet Cid dropped his pack just inside the cave mouth. Fishing out a small flashlight, Cid set off deeper into the cave with a heartfelt growl, “There had better not be any god damn monsters living in here or I am going to be pissed.”
/…/
She stirred, curiosity prompting her to send a tendril of her awareness outward despite her soul-deep woe. A human presence drew nearer, bright and burning and free. Not like she, trapped here, neither living nor dead, forever bound by regrets. An idea occurred to her, born of despair and half-forgotten childhood tales. It was an awful idea, monstrous. But if it worked, if she could do this horrible thing, then maybe she could find her son.
Her son.
For him she could find the strength to do it. For love of her son. For her little Sephiroth.
/…/
Cid could not believe his eyes.
“That is the biggest damn mako fountain I have ever seen.” Cid ignored the fact that he was alone. The statement deserved saying. He also ignored the weird echoes his voice created, just like he was not the slightest bit uncomfortable having stone surrounding him on all sides, hemming him in and blocking his view of the sky.
Yep.
Fascinated by the glowing play of colours, Cid stepped closer, noticing something odd. A shadow within the glittering lights.
“Tyr’s fucking phallic overcompensation.” Cid stared aghast, “How the hell did you get stuck in there?”
The body of the woman fossilized in mako did not answer - of course she did not, Cid snorted, she was dead, a big damn paperweight - but Cid felt better for having voiced the question.
Although he damn well knew better, Cid could not help but reach out to touch.
~ I’m sorry, so sorry but my son, O my son! ~
And in that instant when his fingertips brushed against the surface of the mako crystal, is the moment Cid Highwind would later insist that his life took a turn for the batshit insane.
/…/
She - Lucrecia, her name was Lucrecia - pulled the living human into her cage. An action made simple when his shock kept him from struggling against her. She let the last of her physical body dissolve into Memory and she slid inside of the man - a man! No matter, that could be changed as well. She wanted to apologise, to explain why she did as she did, but there was no way he could be conscious enough to understand her words, well meaning as they may have been.
‘What the hell?’ A roar shattered her concentration, made her struggle for control as the bright mind she had trapped lashed out and fought against her possession.
~ No! I must find my son! ~ Lucrecia grappled with the other mind, her thoughts consumed with the notion of seeking out her child.
‘Oh, I don’t think so bitch! Find some other sucker!’ The voice, the man who was far more aware than he should be growled, mental presence growing with a roar like anger-fed greedy flames. Burning up, lashing out, breaking through her hold, turning her intent against her. She had meant to take him over, use his flesh, to shape a living body for herself with which she could escape her prison and find her son. Instead she was caught in hard talons, an iron cage of dauntless will held her fast as the fangs and flames of rage prepared to tear her apart.
~ No! Please, please! Let me go to my son! ~ She sobbed, one hand outflung, pleading, begging, seeking mercy. A slight pause, a chink in the passion-forged armour that guarded his mind from her invasion opened as he heard her words. She struck out, forcing herself through, putting all the unequalled power of a mother's love behind the blow.
Felt it connect, and felt an all-to-brief thrill of triumph, of hope.
Wailed thinly in despair when she was torn apart and devoured by the sleeping dragon she had roused in the man's soul.
The confusion in his mind died down as he sensed the destruction of the threat. He was tired, and he hurt, so he curled up in his crystal shell and drifted on currents of memory, only partially awake as he brought his thoughts to order.
Was he Lucrecia Crescent, or Cid Highwind?
He thought, no, he knew that he was Captain Highwind. But at the same time he held the memory. The memory of a son. Conception, the nine months of gestation, the birth and the loss. Remembered screaming for her baby as a limp-haired, sallow-faced man carried the wailing newborn away. Hojo had been so very pleased with the resulting specimen.
Cid growled.
‘Well,’ Cid Highwind mused to himself as his disturbed mind settled into something resembling normal, shifting in his crystal prison, ‘Old Luny-bitch managed to do something after all.’
Indeed, Cid Highwind had been altered on a fundamental level. The most feared Captain in the Shin-Ra air force, the most brilliant aerospace engineer on Gaia… was General Sephiroth’s new mother.
‘Gods blood,’ Cid growled, ‘I’m too old for this shit.’
‘The only interesting thing is that I now know the answers to all those damned questions everyone back at Shin-Ra asked when they gabbled about the Demon General.’ Cid considered things in that light for a moment and was immediately more cheerful, ‘Ha. Well, the rest of my life is going to a laugh a minute. Assuming I can get my ass out this damned overgrown mako lava-lamp.’
Cid scowled, saw only coloured light and growled harder. There had to be a way out of this. ‘You’re a fucking genius Highwind; a genius whose brain just ate a ghost with more than a decade of experience at this. Now think of something!’
Cid tried to remember everything he knew about mako.
Okay. So.
One. It powered the reactors.
Two. Crystallized mako made materia.
Three. You stuck it in people the make SOLDIERS.
Cid frowned, that was pathetic. He had to know more, anything. Something about - aha.
Four. Mako came from the lifestream, which flowed through the whole Planet.
Five. All life came from and returned to the Lifestream.
Six. Materia held the wisdom of the Ancients.
Cid grimaced, it was not much, but using what he could pull from Lucrecia’s memories at least he had enough to start with.
‘The Lifestream…’ Cid turned the thought over slowly, his smile grim, ‘Flows everywhere and touches everyone.’
He gathered his energy and was about to try and contact Shera when something - screamed.
Anger. Fear. Hurt.
The light around Cid thrashed like a serpent in its death throws. Unable to just hide and cower, Cid reached out instinctively to see what was causing the storm, not even sure he could until he did. It was easier than he would have thought to send his mind winging towards the disturbance, following a faint tug. He heard voices at the edge of his perception; this was the epicentre, the source of the calamity that frothed around him. Cid homed in on the conversation until the voices were clear as if he were standing right next to them. The content of the conversation however, made his eyebrows rise.
A female voice was the loudest, overpowering, and syrupy-sweet as poisoned honey, crooning softly about betrayal and death and cleansing. The other voice was male, a deep, commanding voice ill suited to the half-hearted protests and confused questions it responded with.
- my son, o my son! avenge me! destroy the betrayers! kill the humans; crush them like the insects they are! free me and ascend as a god above those who imprisoned me! -
She - Jenova - murmured a voice in Cid’s head - Jenova screamed for blood, for a sacrifice of lives on her cold alter.
- o my son, my vessel, set me free! -
‘Mother, I, but Zack-’
- my son, bring a reckoning! take my vengeance in a tithe of blood, reap the witless mortals lives with your sword, my sephiroth -
Sephiroth? Cid froze as things clicked into place, a sudden understanding of the situation given to him by that name.
And by a small voice that whispered counterpoint under Jenova’s howls.
‘Who the hell are you?’ Cid growled. He was fed up with people trying to get into his head.
Cetra…
A reed-thin whisper, broken and almost faded, pleaded with him softly, clasping ghostly hands to Cid’s when he begrudgingly reached out.
Help. Calamity comes.
‘What do you mean?’ Cid asked.
And she told him.
‘OH HELL NO BITCH! NOT MY SON YOU DON’T!’
/…/
Sephiroth hunched over the desk, many files spread over its surface. He could still hear her; his mother’s voice rang in his head. The things she had told him, combined with what he had learned from Hojo’s files, had made him forget all about worrying over the dubious sanity of hearing voices. Mother was Cetra, and he shared her blood, of course they were not limited to human means of communication.
‘Enough. That is enough Mother; please stop screaming, I am coming, stop screaming.’ Sephiroth stood, staggered, wondered when the last time he had eaten or slept had been. Could not remember, and so dismissed it as unimportant. He was not so weak as that. Sephiroth was almost to the door when another voice roared in his head.
‘WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, SPACE-BITCH? YOU WILL NOT TURN MY SON INTO YOUR GODDAMN PUPPET!’
Pure outrage scorched him - no, not him that fury was directed at Mother.
‘SHE IS NOT YOUR MOTHER YOU IDIOT. TRY USING YOUR BRAIN FOR SOMETHING OTHER THAN ANGST AND PAPERWORK.’
Sephiroth blinked the spots from his vision, surprised to find himself on his knees a few feet from the door, his sword lying on the floor beside him, “Excuse me?”
‘YOU HEARD ME THE FIRST TIME, DIPSHIT.’
Sephiroth drew himself up in affront, this new voice was so loud it drowned out Mother-
‘JENOVA IS NOT YOUR MOTHER. SHE’S A FUNGUS.’
- And spouted nothing but insults and lies! He refused to listen.
‘OH, GROW A SPINE BRIGHT-EYES. THE BITCH ISN’T YOUR MOTHER ANY MORE THAN THE GODDAMN TEST TUBES ARE.’
“How would you know?!” Sephiroth demanded, reaching for Masamune despite the sword being useless in this battle.
‘BECAUSE I FUCKING WELL REMEMBER GIVING BIRTH TO YOU, YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BRAT!’
“That’s impossible.” Sephiroth snarled, lurching to his feet and bracing himself on a bookcase, heedless of the shelf contents tumbling to the floor.
‘IS IT? THE JENOVA CELLS WERE INJECTED IN-VITRO. WHICH MEANS YOU WERE CONCEIVED BEFORE THE BITCH CAME INTO THE PICTURE.’
“But-”
‘WHO ARE YOU GOING TO BELIEVE KID? THE CRAZY BITCH WHO WANTS YOU TO KILL OFF THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE? OR THE ONE TELLING YOU TO STOP AND THINK FOR A GODDAMN SECOND INSTEAD OF THROWING A TEMPER TANTRUM LIKE A TODDLER?’
“I- how do I know you speak the truth?” Sephiroth asked in desperation as logical thought returned bit by bit. Now that the screaming had stopped his mind was clear and he had room to think and rationality recoiled from what he had been prepared to do, “I have always been told that my Mother’s name was Jenova.”
‘TOLD BY WHO? HOJO? AND YOU ACTUALLY TRUST MR. CREEPY SADISTIC SCIENTIST OF THE YEAR TO BE TRUTHFUL ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THIS?’
After delivering that jab, wordless images flashed before his eyes. Feminine hands on a swelling belly, warm joy over a row of sonogram photos, screaming pain as Hojo carried away a white haired infant still covered in birthing fluid in complete disregard of the broken hearted woman behind him.
Sephiroth’s breath caught in his throat. Those emotions, they were real, far more complete than the promises and demands that had come from Jenova. And the comment about Hojo… when had he stopped contesting what Hojo told him? The man never gave a straight answer when lies and misdirection would work just as well.
‘DAMN STRAIGHT.’
“You are… not what I expected.” Sephiroth said slowly, leaning against the wall.
‘I TAKE PRIDE IN NOT BEING AS EXPECTED.’
Sephiroth’s lips quirked helplessly in response to the sheer amusement in his maybe-mother’s voice, smug and pleased with herself.
-no!-
Jenova screeched, tearing into his mind. The other voice surged forward in response, protective and outraged.
‘DON’T YOU TOUCH HIM!’
Sephiroth felt the pain lessen somewhat, but still his blood burned in his veins as he became the battleground and contested prize for two opposing forces. Suddenly Mother was all around him, shielding him from attack, shuddering as her opponent ripped and tore without care, screaming for blood.
- mine! my son my puppet my vengeance! -
‘OVER MY DEAD BODY YOU FOSSILIZED HAG!’
One voice was weaker than the other, but no less determined, and Sephiroth realized that Jenova was winning… because the other was preoccupied with protecting him.
“No!” He shouted and threw off his Mother’s protection before the next strike. Jenova screamed victoriously, rending without care as she scrabbled for control of his thoughts. Sephiroth cried out in pain as his body jerked and seized, mind on fire as he tried to fight the invasion of alien thoughts.
‘SEPHIROTH, YOU IDIOT!’
An angel stood over him and a demon stood against him, Sephiroth could see them now in his minds eye. Jenova, winter-pale and strange, alien beauty housing horrible corruption. The other was almost human, but for the defensive arch of sheltering wings and pale blue eyes, the bestial vertical pupils standing out starkly against their glow. Both had claimed him as their child. One tore at him, tried to devour him. One warded him from harm, protective and fierce as she sought to drive the other away.
It was a game of tug-o-war that could only end when one surrendered or Sephiroth’s mind broke, but the scales abruptly tipped when something tore loose from Jenova. The ghost of a woman wrenched free of the demon, running past Sephiroth to the angel, who embraced her with a fierce grin.
There was a sense of being split in two as Jenova pulled at him and the other held him. He saw the dusty floor of the office with its overflowing shelves and a green-drenched lab, a broken mako tube beside him. Jenova screamed in terrible rage as she was flung back, locked out, and Sephiroth snapped back to himself.
It was finally blessedly quiet. There was no more screaming.
Sephiroth staggered to his feet, wiping his damp face. His hand came away red - blood - he noted absently, but there were more important things to worry about.
“Mother?” His voice was hoarse, cracked - he had probably been screaming - but that was not important. What was important was, “Mother? Mother please!”
‘CALM DOWN.’
“Mother?” She was alive, Sephiroth sagged in relief, “Mother, are you alright?”
‘FINE, JUST TIRED. THE CETRA HELPED US WIN.’
“The Cetra?” Sephiroth blinked, he had thought Jenova was a Cetra - but that too had been told to him by Hojo, Sephiroth realized, “How did she help?”
‘JENOVA INFECTED HER WHEN SHE FIRST LANDED ON GAIA, SO WHEN THEY PUT JENOVA IN YOU SHE GOT PUT IN TOO. YOU’RE AS MUCH CETRA AS YOU ARE JENOVA, SO SHE WAS ABLE TO USE THAT LINK TO TAKE CONTROL OF THE CONNECTION BETWEEN YOU AND JENOVA. SHE COULDN’T BREAK IT, SO SHE SWITCHED IT OVER TO HERSELF AND JUMPED SHIP.’
“She went to you.” Sephiroth said, sensing his mother’s surprise over their connection. It was interesting how much that comforted him.
‘YEAH SHE DID. JENOVA CAN’T GET AT YOU NOW. NOT UNLESS YOU ASK HER IN.’
“You are doubly my mother now, it seems.” Sephiroth whispered, “Where are you?”
A sigh, ‘I’M TRAPPED IN A CAVE IN THE MOUNTAINS TO THE SOUTHEAST OF NIBELHEIM. HAVE BEEN SINCE JUST AFTER YOU WERE BORN.’
Sephiroth’s steps paused before he continued on his way, “That sounds remarkably like what Jenova told me about herself.”
‘THE BEST LIES ARE THE ONES THAT ARE BASED IN TRUTH. SEEMS JENOVA KNEW THAT.’
“Indeed.” It was full dark outside the ShinRa mansion, and Sephiroth took a moment to orient himself before following the faint pull of him mother’s voice. He briefly entertained the thought of waking Zack - but no. His friend deserved his sleep.
‘WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?’
“I’m coming for you.” Sephiroth said calmly, starting to run.
‘ON FOOT? IN THE DARK? ARE YOU INSANE?’
“I’m talking to a voice in my head.” Sephiroth pointed out, settling into a ground-eating lope that would carry him quickly to his destination without exhausting him, “What do you think about that?”
‘… BRAT.’ But the voice was warm with good humour.
“Yes mother.” Sephiroth said with a smile. A few hours later the village of Nibelheim went up in flames under the hand of a man who may have been General Sephiroth but for the madness in his eyes… and the number tattooed on the back of his hand.
/…/
Sephiroth glanced at the wreckage of a small plane, lying just where Mother had said it would be. He leapt up to the cave, striding in past the thundering waterfall, calling flame to his left hand to light his way. Then he saw her in flesh for the first time in his memory.
“Mother.” Sephiroth swallowed, wondering why his throat hurt, “Just wait Mother, I’ll get you out.”
He did not know how, but he would.
Sephiroth laid a hand against his Mother’s crystal prison - and blinked as his hand sank in to the wrist. Eyes hardening with resolve, he thrust both hands in until he could grip her arms, then he pulled. She left the hardened mako as easily as lifting a stone from a stream.
“Mother?” Why was she so still? Sephiroth cradled her in his arms as he sank to the ground, “Mother, please wake up.”
“Mrmph.” Her eyes blinked open, glowing animal eyes the colour of a clear spring sky, framed by short blond hair. She grinned at him, patting his cheek, “Calm down kiddo. It just takes a bit to get used to being physical again.”
Sephiroth reluctantly let her go when she clambered to her feet, standing as well and feeling rather out of his depth. She was tall for a woman, though she was shorter than him by a great deal, - not really surprising, Sephiroth was seven feet tall and towered over most people - but he had expected her to be bigger, her mind-voice had been so strong.
“What?” She asked, obviously amused by his scrutiny, “Am I not what you were expecting?”
“No - I mean.” Sephiroth rarely floundered for words. He discovered that he was not very fond of the feeling, “What is your name? What - what did you name me?”
She was silent, looking up at him for a long moment before speaking, “I never got the chance to name you. Hojo took you from my soon as the cord was cut.”
Both were silent, just looking at one another before she sighed.
“I’m Captain Cid Highwind.” She smiled when Sephiroth’s eyebrows shot up at her rank, “Airforce. You’ve been Sephiroth you’re whole life, and it’s a good name for all that it’s what Hojo chose. It’s what all the important people in your life call you by, and it’s got a lot of meaning. But if you want one from me… I don’t mind if you want to call yourself Sephiroth Highwind.”
Sephiroth closed his eyes, letting the second name - the family name, which meant that he had a family - sink into his mind. Cid watched him with sad eyes, “Does it mean that much to you?”
Sephiroth was startled out of his revere, “To not have a name was painful. Like I was less than others, with no origin, no history beyond the labs.”
“I can understand that.” Cid said quietly, the scheming part of him fostered by Shin-Ra employment losing to his innate honesty, “I’ve got a few things to tell you before we leave kid, so pull up a rock. This’ll take a while.”
Sephiroth and Cid sat down, and Cid calmly explained everything. The plane crash, finding the cave, the merge with Lucrecia, and the way the Cetra in the Lifestream had pulled him to stop Jenova from controlling Sephiroth. When he was finished, Cid waited for Sephiroth’s reaction.
The Silver General sat with his head down, face shadowed by his bangs.
“Well, I guess…” Cid swallowed the lump in his - her? Fuck this was confusing - throat, “Now that you know everything, I guess you wanna get away from me, huh? Sorry about not telling you sooner, but I kinda wanted out of that rock.”
“You said that you were my Mother.” Sephiroth said slowly, ignoring the apology, “You said… I was born of Lucrecia Crescent, whose memory now resides in you. I was made from Jenova and the infected Cetra woman whose spirit joined with yours.”
“Yes?” Cid said, confused as to where this was going, “That’s true.”
“Then… you are my Mother.” Sephiroth said firmly, raising his head to look Cid in the eyes, “Perhaps it is all coincidence, perhaps it is the work of the Norns, but you are my Mother in flesh, spirit and choice.”
“But…” Cid could not really argue with that.
“By your own words, this is so.” Sephiroth stated calmly.
“Yeah.” Cid said, slowly starting to grin, “Alright kid. You’ve got yourself a mother if you think you can stand an old cuss like me.”
“I think I’ll be fine.” Sephiroth said dryly, “I’ve survived worse.”
Cid grimaced and started plotting how to kill Hojo and make it look like an accident. Never like the creepy fucker anyway.
“Right then.” Cid said, standing up and dusting off his pants - which were actually his pants now, as he had become male again about halfway through Sephiroth’s little speech, “Let’s get out of here.”
“Yes, let’s.” Sephiroth agreed, “Zack is probably tearing the town apart looking for me by now.”
“Who’s Zack?” Cid asked, never really having paid much attention to anything that did not have wings or an engine, “Someone special?”
“Yes. My second in command.” Sephiroth said with a faint smile, “My best friend.”
“Sounds special alright. Let’s get going then.”
But when they got to Nibelheim, it was razed to the ground, only the Shinra Mansion still stood. The area was crawling with Turks and Sephiroth was not going to take the risk of losing his mother so soon after finding her. A few hours of listening in on the conversations and hacking the radio communications gave Sephiroth a basic picture of what had happened in his absence.
Hojo had succeeded in cloning him. It was the only explanation for how he could have burnt down the town when he had left the day before. Zack and Cloud Strife - the boy who would be a Soldier, Zack’s new friend - had fought the seemingly insane Sephiroth and had suffered for it. Nearly dead, Hojo had then both transferred to one of his labs in the aftermath.
“Shit.” Cid said, taking in the situation just as Sephiroth had, “Come on. We can’t stay here.”
“But what about Zack?” Sephiroth protested, feeling his heart wrench at the thought of his cheerful, smiling friend drowned in screaming green, innocence cut away under Hojo’s knives, “And Cloud. Mother we cannot just leave them!”
“We ain’t kiddo.” Cid said grimly, “But right now we don’t know where they are. From the looks of things Shin-Ra’s hushing this up and they think it was you who did this, and not that Jenova-spawned copy. The longer we keep ‘em in the dark about that the better. As much as I’d like to let you go play the avenging angel, we’re outnumbered and we don’t know what kind of condition your friends are in. We can’t risk showing our hand right yet.”
“It’s logical.” Sephiroth nodded his head, tactical thinking asserting itself as he forced his mind to stop overlaying Zack’s face on his personal experiences.
“But you don’t like it, I know.” Cid grimaced, “I don’t like it either kid, but we’ll be better off in Rocket Town. That’s my place, and full of my people. There’s not a soul in the air force or grease monkey in the motor pool that I didn’t train at one point or another. We’ll find your boys.”
Taking his mother’s words to heart, Sephiroth followed the blond away from the burned ruins of what he now knew was his birthplace and prayed that his men could hold on and survive long enough for him to find them.
(Word Count: 4351)
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Am going through my WIP folder, and have noticed that I've got a bunch of bits and pieces of things I'd almost forgotten about. Like the fifty bajillion ways (by which I mean a half dozen or so max) I turned Cid into a woman (okay so it's more like two) and then knocked him up (... to be fair to myself he only gets pregnant in three of my plotlines.) I'll be starting with the oldest stuff first, and my goal is to post at least once a day until New Years.
I promise to post more Nine Rings tomorrow.
Here there be dragons!
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A Final Fantasy VII Fanfiction
Author: Sanjuno Shori Niko
Summary: Well this is... different.
Timeline: More of this fic here.
=/=
(In which Cid prods metaphysical buttock.)
Captain Cid Highwind cursed a bluestreak and kicked the side of the twisted pile of scrap that had been his plane up until a half-hour ago. Still muttering to himself, Cid looked around. Aside from the still-smoking heap of ex-airplane there was no sign of human habitation. Just mountains and sky for as far as the human eye could see. Which had been exactly what Cid Highwind had been looking for. No morons to distract him or give him sad looks, just plenty of room to spread his wings. Which was now a smoking pile of modern art. Fuck. Was he cursed? It seemed that he lost every pair of wings he built. Angered by the maudlin turn of his thoughts Cid cursed again until he felt better. Then he salvaged what he could from his plane and took a careful look around. He spotted a cave a further ways up the mountain, and shouldering the makeshift pack of supplies he started making his way up the steep incline.
When he finally managed to haul himself over the lip of the cliff-edge protrusion in front of the cave Cid gave himself a moment to just lie still and breathe.
“Fuck. Maybe I should cut back on the cigs.” Cid stared thoughtfully at the sky as he considered the idea, “Nah.”
Hauling himself to his feet Cid dropped his pack just inside the cave mouth. Fishing out a small flashlight, Cid set off deeper into the cave with a heartfelt growl, “There had better not be any god damn monsters living in here or I am going to be pissed.”
/…/
She stirred, curiosity prompting her to send a tendril of her awareness outward despite her soul-deep woe. A human presence drew nearer, bright and burning and free. Not like she, trapped here, neither living nor dead, forever bound by regrets. An idea occurred to her, born of despair and half-forgotten childhood tales. It was an awful idea, monstrous. But if it worked, if she could do this horrible thing, then maybe she could find her son.
Her son.
For him she could find the strength to do it. For love of her son. For her little Sephiroth.
/…/
Cid could not believe his eyes.
“That is the biggest damn mako fountain I have ever seen.” Cid ignored the fact that he was alone. The statement deserved saying. He also ignored the weird echoes his voice created, just like he was not the slightest bit uncomfortable having stone surrounding him on all sides, hemming him in and blocking his view of the sky.
Yep.
Fascinated by the glowing play of colours, Cid stepped closer, noticing something odd. A shadow within the glittering lights.
“Tyr’s fucking phallic overcompensation.” Cid stared aghast, “How the hell did you get stuck in there?”
The body of the woman fossilized in mako did not answer - of course she did not, Cid snorted, she was dead, a big damn paperweight - but Cid felt better for having voiced the question.
Although he damn well knew better, Cid could not help but reach out to touch.
~ I’m sorry, so sorry but my son, O my son! ~
And in that instant when his fingertips brushed against the surface of the mako crystal, is the moment Cid Highwind would later insist that his life took a turn for the batshit insane.
/…/
She - Lucrecia, her name was Lucrecia - pulled the living human into her cage. An action made simple when his shock kept him from struggling against her. She let the last of her physical body dissolve into Memory and she slid inside of the man - a man! No matter, that could be changed as well. She wanted to apologise, to explain why she did as she did, but there was no way he could be conscious enough to understand her words, well meaning as they may have been.
‘What the hell?’ A roar shattered her concentration, made her struggle for control as the bright mind she had trapped lashed out and fought against her possession.
~ No! I must find my son! ~ Lucrecia grappled with the other mind, her thoughts consumed with the notion of seeking out her child.
‘Oh, I don’t think so bitch! Find some other sucker!’ The voice, the man who was far more aware than he should be growled, mental presence growing with a roar like anger-fed greedy flames. Burning up, lashing out, breaking through her hold, turning her intent against her. She had meant to take him over, use his flesh, to shape a living body for herself with which she could escape her prison and find her son. Instead she was caught in hard talons, an iron cage of dauntless will held her fast as the fangs and flames of rage prepared to tear her apart.
~ No! Please, please! Let me go to my son! ~ She sobbed, one hand outflung, pleading, begging, seeking mercy. A slight pause, a chink in the passion-forged armour that guarded his mind from her invasion opened as he heard her words. She struck out, forcing herself through, putting all the unequalled power of a mother's love behind the blow.
Felt it connect, and felt an all-to-brief thrill of triumph, of hope.
Wailed thinly in despair when she was torn apart and devoured by the sleeping dragon she had roused in the man's soul.
The confusion in his mind died down as he sensed the destruction of the threat. He was tired, and he hurt, so he curled up in his crystal shell and drifted on currents of memory, only partially awake as he brought his thoughts to order.
Was he Lucrecia Crescent, or Cid Highwind?
He thought, no, he knew that he was Captain Highwind. But at the same time he held the memory. The memory of a son. Conception, the nine months of gestation, the birth and the loss. Remembered screaming for her baby as a limp-haired, sallow-faced man carried the wailing newborn away. Hojo had been so very pleased with the resulting specimen.
Cid growled.
‘Well,’ Cid Highwind mused to himself as his disturbed mind settled into something resembling normal, shifting in his crystal prison, ‘Old Luny-bitch managed to do something after all.’
Indeed, Cid Highwind had been altered on a fundamental level. The most feared Captain in the Shin-Ra air force, the most brilliant aerospace engineer on Gaia… was General Sephiroth’s new mother.
‘Gods blood,’ Cid growled, ‘I’m too old for this shit.’
‘The only interesting thing is that I now know the answers to all those damned questions everyone back at Shin-Ra asked when they gabbled about the Demon General.’ Cid considered things in that light for a moment and was immediately more cheerful, ‘Ha. Well, the rest of my life is going to a laugh a minute. Assuming I can get my ass out this damned overgrown mako lava-lamp.’
Cid scowled, saw only coloured light and growled harder. There had to be a way out of this. ‘You’re a fucking genius Highwind; a genius whose brain just ate a ghost with more than a decade of experience at this. Now think of something!’
Cid tried to remember everything he knew about mako.
Okay. So.
One. It powered the reactors.
Two. Crystallized mako made materia.
Three. You stuck it in people the make SOLDIERS.
Cid frowned, that was pathetic. He had to know more, anything. Something about - aha.
Four. Mako came from the lifestream, which flowed through the whole Planet.
Five. All life came from and returned to the Lifestream.
Six. Materia held the wisdom of the Ancients.
Cid grimaced, it was not much, but using what he could pull from Lucrecia’s memories at least he had enough to start with.
‘The Lifestream…’ Cid turned the thought over slowly, his smile grim, ‘Flows everywhere and touches everyone.’
He gathered his energy and was about to try and contact Shera when something - screamed.
Anger. Fear. Hurt.
The light around Cid thrashed like a serpent in its death throws. Unable to just hide and cower, Cid reached out instinctively to see what was causing the storm, not even sure he could until he did. It was easier than he would have thought to send his mind winging towards the disturbance, following a faint tug. He heard voices at the edge of his perception; this was the epicentre, the source of the calamity that frothed around him. Cid homed in on the conversation until the voices were clear as if he were standing right next to them. The content of the conversation however, made his eyebrows rise.
A female voice was the loudest, overpowering, and syrupy-sweet as poisoned honey, crooning softly about betrayal and death and cleansing. The other voice was male, a deep, commanding voice ill suited to the half-hearted protests and confused questions it responded with.
- my son, o my son! avenge me! destroy the betrayers! kill the humans; crush them like the insects they are! free me and ascend as a god above those who imprisoned me! -
She - Jenova - murmured a voice in Cid’s head - Jenova screamed for blood, for a sacrifice of lives on her cold alter.
- o my son, my vessel, set me free! -
‘Mother, I, but Zack-’
- my son, bring a reckoning! take my vengeance in a tithe of blood, reap the witless mortals lives with your sword, my sephiroth -
Sephiroth? Cid froze as things clicked into place, a sudden understanding of the situation given to him by that name.
And by a small voice that whispered counterpoint under Jenova’s howls.
‘Who the hell are you?’ Cid growled. He was fed up with people trying to get into his head.
Cetra…
A reed-thin whisper, broken and almost faded, pleaded with him softly, clasping ghostly hands to Cid’s when he begrudgingly reached out.
Help. Calamity comes.
‘What do you mean?’ Cid asked.
And she told him.
‘OH HELL NO BITCH! NOT MY SON YOU DON’T!’
/…/
Sephiroth hunched over the desk, many files spread over its surface. He could still hear her; his mother’s voice rang in his head. The things she had told him, combined with what he had learned from Hojo’s files, had made him forget all about worrying over the dubious sanity of hearing voices. Mother was Cetra, and he shared her blood, of course they were not limited to human means of communication.
‘Enough. That is enough Mother; please stop screaming, I am coming, stop screaming.’ Sephiroth stood, staggered, wondered when the last time he had eaten or slept had been. Could not remember, and so dismissed it as unimportant. He was not so weak as that. Sephiroth was almost to the door when another voice roared in his head.
‘WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, SPACE-BITCH? YOU WILL NOT TURN MY SON INTO YOUR GODDAMN PUPPET!’
Pure outrage scorched him - no, not him that fury was directed at Mother.
‘SHE IS NOT YOUR MOTHER YOU IDIOT. TRY USING YOUR BRAIN FOR SOMETHING OTHER THAN ANGST AND PAPERWORK.’
Sephiroth blinked the spots from his vision, surprised to find himself on his knees a few feet from the door, his sword lying on the floor beside him, “Excuse me?”
‘YOU HEARD ME THE FIRST TIME, DIPSHIT.’
Sephiroth drew himself up in affront, this new voice was so loud it drowned out Mother-
‘JENOVA IS NOT YOUR MOTHER. SHE’S A FUNGUS.’
- And spouted nothing but insults and lies! He refused to listen.
‘OH, GROW A SPINE BRIGHT-EYES. THE BITCH ISN’T YOUR MOTHER ANY MORE THAN THE GODDAMN TEST TUBES ARE.’
“How would you know?!” Sephiroth demanded, reaching for Masamune despite the sword being useless in this battle.
‘BECAUSE I FUCKING WELL REMEMBER GIVING BIRTH TO YOU, YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BRAT!’
“That’s impossible.” Sephiroth snarled, lurching to his feet and bracing himself on a bookcase, heedless of the shelf contents tumbling to the floor.
‘IS IT? THE JENOVA CELLS WERE INJECTED IN-VITRO. WHICH MEANS YOU WERE CONCEIVED BEFORE THE BITCH CAME INTO THE PICTURE.’
“But-”
‘WHO ARE YOU GOING TO BELIEVE KID? THE CRAZY BITCH WHO WANTS YOU TO KILL OFF THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE? OR THE ONE TELLING YOU TO STOP AND THINK FOR A GODDAMN SECOND INSTEAD OF THROWING A TEMPER TANTRUM LIKE A TODDLER?’
“I- how do I know you speak the truth?” Sephiroth asked in desperation as logical thought returned bit by bit. Now that the screaming had stopped his mind was clear and he had room to think and rationality recoiled from what he had been prepared to do, “I have always been told that my Mother’s name was Jenova.”
‘TOLD BY WHO? HOJO? AND YOU ACTUALLY TRUST MR. CREEPY SADISTIC SCIENTIST OF THE YEAR TO BE TRUTHFUL ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THIS?’
After delivering that jab, wordless images flashed before his eyes. Feminine hands on a swelling belly, warm joy over a row of sonogram photos, screaming pain as Hojo carried away a white haired infant still covered in birthing fluid in complete disregard of the broken hearted woman behind him.
Sephiroth’s breath caught in his throat. Those emotions, they were real, far more complete than the promises and demands that had come from Jenova. And the comment about Hojo… when had he stopped contesting what Hojo told him? The man never gave a straight answer when lies and misdirection would work just as well.
‘DAMN STRAIGHT.’
“You are… not what I expected.” Sephiroth said slowly, leaning against the wall.
‘I TAKE PRIDE IN NOT BEING AS EXPECTED.’
Sephiroth’s lips quirked helplessly in response to the sheer amusement in his maybe-mother’s voice, smug and pleased with herself.
-no!-
Jenova screeched, tearing into his mind. The other voice surged forward in response, protective and outraged.
‘DON’T YOU TOUCH HIM!’
Sephiroth felt the pain lessen somewhat, but still his blood burned in his veins as he became the battleground and contested prize for two opposing forces. Suddenly Mother was all around him, shielding him from attack, shuddering as her opponent ripped and tore without care, screaming for blood.
- mine! my son my puppet my vengeance! -
‘OVER MY DEAD BODY YOU FOSSILIZED HAG!’
One voice was weaker than the other, but no less determined, and Sephiroth realized that Jenova was winning… because the other was preoccupied with protecting him.
“No!” He shouted and threw off his Mother’s protection before the next strike. Jenova screamed victoriously, rending without care as she scrabbled for control of his thoughts. Sephiroth cried out in pain as his body jerked and seized, mind on fire as he tried to fight the invasion of alien thoughts.
‘SEPHIROTH, YOU IDIOT!’
An angel stood over him and a demon stood against him, Sephiroth could see them now in his minds eye. Jenova, winter-pale and strange, alien beauty housing horrible corruption. The other was almost human, but for the defensive arch of sheltering wings and pale blue eyes, the bestial vertical pupils standing out starkly against their glow. Both had claimed him as their child. One tore at him, tried to devour him. One warded him from harm, protective and fierce as she sought to drive the other away.
It was a game of tug-o-war that could only end when one surrendered or Sephiroth’s mind broke, but the scales abruptly tipped when something tore loose from Jenova. The ghost of a woman wrenched free of the demon, running past Sephiroth to the angel, who embraced her with a fierce grin.
There was a sense of being split in two as Jenova pulled at him and the other held him. He saw the dusty floor of the office with its overflowing shelves and a green-drenched lab, a broken mako tube beside him. Jenova screamed in terrible rage as she was flung back, locked out, and Sephiroth snapped back to himself.
It was finally blessedly quiet. There was no more screaming.
Sephiroth staggered to his feet, wiping his damp face. His hand came away red - blood - he noted absently, but there were more important things to worry about.
“Mother?” His voice was hoarse, cracked - he had probably been screaming - but that was not important. What was important was, “Mother? Mother please!”
‘CALM DOWN.’
“Mother?” She was alive, Sephiroth sagged in relief, “Mother, are you alright?”
‘FINE, JUST TIRED. THE CETRA HELPED US WIN.’
“The Cetra?” Sephiroth blinked, he had thought Jenova was a Cetra - but that too had been told to him by Hojo, Sephiroth realized, “How did she help?”
‘JENOVA INFECTED HER WHEN SHE FIRST LANDED ON GAIA, SO WHEN THEY PUT JENOVA IN YOU SHE GOT PUT IN TOO. YOU’RE AS MUCH CETRA AS YOU ARE JENOVA, SO SHE WAS ABLE TO USE THAT LINK TO TAKE CONTROL OF THE CONNECTION BETWEEN YOU AND JENOVA. SHE COULDN’T BREAK IT, SO SHE SWITCHED IT OVER TO HERSELF AND JUMPED SHIP.’
“She went to you.” Sephiroth said, sensing his mother’s surprise over their connection. It was interesting how much that comforted him.
‘YEAH SHE DID. JENOVA CAN’T GET AT YOU NOW. NOT UNLESS YOU ASK HER IN.’
“You are doubly my mother now, it seems.” Sephiroth whispered, “Where are you?”
A sigh, ‘I’M TRAPPED IN A CAVE IN THE MOUNTAINS TO THE SOUTHEAST OF NIBELHEIM. HAVE BEEN SINCE JUST AFTER YOU WERE BORN.’
Sephiroth’s steps paused before he continued on his way, “That sounds remarkably like what Jenova told me about herself.”
‘THE BEST LIES ARE THE ONES THAT ARE BASED IN TRUTH. SEEMS JENOVA KNEW THAT.’
“Indeed.” It was full dark outside the ShinRa mansion, and Sephiroth took a moment to orient himself before following the faint pull of him mother’s voice. He briefly entertained the thought of waking Zack - but no. His friend deserved his sleep.
‘WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?’
“I’m coming for you.” Sephiroth said calmly, starting to run.
‘ON FOOT? IN THE DARK? ARE YOU INSANE?’
“I’m talking to a voice in my head.” Sephiroth pointed out, settling into a ground-eating lope that would carry him quickly to his destination without exhausting him, “What do you think about that?”
‘… BRAT.’ But the voice was warm with good humour.
“Yes mother.” Sephiroth said with a smile. A few hours later the village of Nibelheim went up in flames under the hand of a man who may have been General Sephiroth but for the madness in his eyes… and the number tattooed on the back of his hand.
/…/
Sephiroth glanced at the wreckage of a small plane, lying just where Mother had said it would be. He leapt up to the cave, striding in past the thundering waterfall, calling flame to his left hand to light his way. Then he saw her in flesh for the first time in his memory.
“Mother.” Sephiroth swallowed, wondering why his throat hurt, “Just wait Mother, I’ll get you out.”
He did not know how, but he would.
Sephiroth laid a hand against his Mother’s crystal prison - and blinked as his hand sank in to the wrist. Eyes hardening with resolve, he thrust both hands in until he could grip her arms, then he pulled. She left the hardened mako as easily as lifting a stone from a stream.
“Mother?” Why was she so still? Sephiroth cradled her in his arms as he sank to the ground, “Mother, please wake up.”
“Mrmph.” Her eyes blinked open, glowing animal eyes the colour of a clear spring sky, framed by short blond hair. She grinned at him, patting his cheek, “Calm down kiddo. It just takes a bit to get used to being physical again.”
Sephiroth reluctantly let her go when she clambered to her feet, standing as well and feeling rather out of his depth. She was tall for a woman, though she was shorter than him by a great deal, - not really surprising, Sephiroth was seven feet tall and towered over most people - but he had expected her to be bigger, her mind-voice had been so strong.
“What?” She asked, obviously amused by his scrutiny, “Am I not what you were expecting?”
“No - I mean.” Sephiroth rarely floundered for words. He discovered that he was not very fond of the feeling, “What is your name? What - what did you name me?”
She was silent, looking up at him for a long moment before speaking, “I never got the chance to name you. Hojo took you from my soon as the cord was cut.”
Both were silent, just looking at one another before she sighed.
“I’m Captain Cid Highwind.” She smiled when Sephiroth’s eyebrows shot up at her rank, “Airforce. You’ve been Sephiroth you’re whole life, and it’s a good name for all that it’s what Hojo chose. It’s what all the important people in your life call you by, and it’s got a lot of meaning. But if you want one from me… I don’t mind if you want to call yourself Sephiroth Highwind.”
Sephiroth closed his eyes, letting the second name - the family name, which meant that he had a family - sink into his mind. Cid watched him with sad eyes, “Does it mean that much to you?”
Sephiroth was startled out of his revere, “To not have a name was painful. Like I was less than others, with no origin, no history beyond the labs.”
“I can understand that.” Cid said quietly, the scheming part of him fostered by Shin-Ra employment losing to his innate honesty, “I’ve got a few things to tell you before we leave kid, so pull up a rock. This’ll take a while.”
Sephiroth and Cid sat down, and Cid calmly explained everything. The plane crash, finding the cave, the merge with Lucrecia, and the way the Cetra in the Lifestream had pulled him to stop Jenova from controlling Sephiroth. When he was finished, Cid waited for Sephiroth’s reaction.
The Silver General sat with his head down, face shadowed by his bangs.
“Well, I guess…” Cid swallowed the lump in his - her? Fuck this was confusing - throat, “Now that you know everything, I guess you wanna get away from me, huh? Sorry about not telling you sooner, but I kinda wanted out of that rock.”
“You said that you were my Mother.” Sephiroth said slowly, ignoring the apology, “You said… I was born of Lucrecia Crescent, whose memory now resides in you. I was made from Jenova and the infected Cetra woman whose spirit joined with yours.”
“Yes?” Cid said, confused as to where this was going, “That’s true.”
“Then… you are my Mother.” Sephiroth said firmly, raising his head to look Cid in the eyes, “Perhaps it is all coincidence, perhaps it is the work of the Norns, but you are my Mother in flesh, spirit and choice.”
“But…” Cid could not really argue with that.
“By your own words, this is so.” Sephiroth stated calmly.
“Yeah.” Cid said, slowly starting to grin, “Alright kid. You’ve got yourself a mother if you think you can stand an old cuss like me.”
“I think I’ll be fine.” Sephiroth said dryly, “I’ve survived worse.”
Cid grimaced and started plotting how to kill Hojo and make it look like an accident. Never like the creepy fucker anyway.
“Right then.” Cid said, standing up and dusting off his pants - which were actually his pants now, as he had become male again about halfway through Sephiroth’s little speech, “Let’s get out of here.”
“Yes, let’s.” Sephiroth agreed, “Zack is probably tearing the town apart looking for me by now.”
“Who’s Zack?” Cid asked, never really having paid much attention to anything that did not have wings or an engine, “Someone special?”
“Yes. My second in command.” Sephiroth said with a faint smile, “My best friend.”
“Sounds special alright. Let’s get going then.”
But when they got to Nibelheim, it was razed to the ground, only the Shinra Mansion still stood. The area was crawling with Turks and Sephiroth was not going to take the risk of losing his mother so soon after finding her. A few hours of listening in on the conversations and hacking the radio communications gave Sephiroth a basic picture of what had happened in his absence.
Hojo had succeeded in cloning him. It was the only explanation for how he could have burnt down the town when he had left the day before. Zack and Cloud Strife - the boy who would be a Soldier, Zack’s new friend - had fought the seemingly insane Sephiroth and had suffered for it. Nearly dead, Hojo had then both transferred to one of his labs in the aftermath.
“Shit.” Cid said, taking in the situation just as Sephiroth had, “Come on. We can’t stay here.”
“But what about Zack?” Sephiroth protested, feeling his heart wrench at the thought of his cheerful, smiling friend drowned in screaming green, innocence cut away under Hojo’s knives, “And Cloud. Mother we cannot just leave them!”
“We ain’t kiddo.” Cid said grimly, “But right now we don’t know where they are. From the looks of things Shin-Ra’s hushing this up and they think it was you who did this, and not that Jenova-spawned copy. The longer we keep ‘em in the dark about that the better. As much as I’d like to let you go play the avenging angel, we’re outnumbered and we don’t know what kind of condition your friends are in. We can’t risk showing our hand right yet.”
“It’s logical.” Sephiroth nodded his head, tactical thinking asserting itself as he forced his mind to stop overlaying Zack’s face on his personal experiences.
“But you don’t like it, I know.” Cid grimaced, “I don’t like it either kid, but we’ll be better off in Rocket Town. That’s my place, and full of my people. There’s not a soul in the air force or grease monkey in the motor pool that I didn’t train at one point or another. We’ll find your boys.”
Taking his mother’s words to heart, Sephiroth followed the blond away from the burned ruins of what he now knew was his birthplace and prayed that his men could hold on and survive long enough for him to find them.
(Word Count: 4351)
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Am going through my WIP folder, and have noticed that I've got a bunch of bits and pieces of things I'd almost forgotten about. Like the fifty bajillion ways (by which I mean a half dozen or so max) I turned Cid into a woman (okay so it's more like two) and then knocked him up (... to be fair to myself he only gets pregnant in three of my plotlines.) I'll be starting with the oldest stuff first, and my goal is to post at least once a day until New Years.
I promise to post more Nine Rings tomorrow.
Here there be dragons!
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