(no subject)
Well, I found this through Nick, and think it's a beyond wonderful idea. LiveJournal is a wonderful thing in allowing feelings to be written down and expressed, but it just has the potential to get much too out of hand. I had to get rid of my DeadJournal because of that. Just overreacting to posts in a journal is silly. I wish people had a greater potential for reasoning and forgiveness, but even more than that, complete openess, honesty, and willingness to help others. Far too many are afraid of the truth..
Anyways, what I wrote turned out a little longer than expected, so I'm putting it in a cut, sorry..
More than anything right now, however, I wish I had a mother who I got a long with. She's a wonderful person and always so optimistic about life, and constantly encourages conversation, but we just don't get along. More conversations end with us agreeing to just not speak for awhile, than go over well. It's not a mother to daughter problem, it's just our personalities are so incredibly conflicting. I prefer logic and reasoning and emotions, she prefers optimism, forgetting, and allowing things to just be, while smiling regardless. I try to talk to her, but nothing ever goes over well. It's always just, well that doesn't make much of a difference, go do something else, or just escape it. I don't think that problems are escapable, and one should deal with things that worry and affect them, so long as they are in the right state of mind to do so. She continually complains about my working at night, then glorifies having something to act as a transition before going to college and leaving altogether. Then she complains about about my grades (I have a 4.33 gpa, if not higher), and she's upset that I'm not working like I used to last year, when last year I had a horrible year in counseling, complete stress, and panic attacks, but she's "happy I'm happy this year, but I need to be more stressed" Who tells their child they should be stressing more? I just don't understand it. It becomes so contradictory I don't even understand anything, anymore, so I try to just appease her with being home as much as possible and doing as much as I can without overburdening myself, and when I mention this, its just I don't work around the house enough and I still need to do better academically. Straight AP/Honors classes with 3 A's and 3 B's without being overstressed, and for some reason thats not good enough.. Talk about over pressuring your child..
Aside from that, relationship problems that are typical among teenagers and high schoolers persist, but I try not to allow that to have so much of an affect on my life, as most will not matter in a couple of years anywyas. It's just more experience to learn from.
Wow, it feels wonderful to just kind of rant. Thanks for providing space to do so. :)
Anyways, what I wrote turned out a little longer than expected, so I'm putting it in a cut, sorry..
More than anything right now, however, I wish I had a mother who I got a long with. She's a wonderful person and always so optimistic about life, and constantly encourages conversation, but we just don't get along. More conversations end with us agreeing to just not speak for awhile, than go over well. It's not a mother to daughter problem, it's just our personalities are so incredibly conflicting. I prefer logic and reasoning and emotions, she prefers optimism, forgetting, and allowing things to just be, while smiling regardless. I try to talk to her, but nothing ever goes over well. It's always just, well that doesn't make much of a difference, go do something else, or just escape it. I don't think that problems are escapable, and one should deal with things that worry and affect them, so long as they are in the right state of mind to do so. She continually complains about my working at night, then glorifies having something to act as a transition before going to college and leaving altogether. Then she complains about about my grades (I have a 4.33 gpa, if not higher), and she's upset that I'm not working like I used to last year, when last year I had a horrible year in counseling, complete stress, and panic attacks, but she's "happy I'm happy this year, but I need to be more stressed" Who tells their child they should be stressing more? I just don't understand it. It becomes so contradictory I don't even understand anything, anymore, so I try to just appease her with being home as much as possible and doing as much as I can without overburdening myself, and when I mention this, its just I don't work around the house enough and I still need to do better academically. Straight AP/Honors classes with 3 A's and 3 B's without being overstressed, and for some reason thats not good enough.. Talk about over pressuring your child..
Aside from that, relationship problems that are typical among teenagers and high schoolers persist, but I try not to allow that to have so much of an affect on my life, as most will not matter in a couple of years anywyas. It's just more experience to learn from.
Wow, it feels wonderful to just kind of rant. Thanks for providing space to do so. :)