Infatuation Vs. Crush
So I was thinking, as I often do on quiet nights here at work, and a thought randomly popped in my head, as they often do on quiet nights at work. A friend of mine made a comment a while back about how I all of the time have a crush on someone. Now, I don't always have crushes on people and though the crushes change from time to time they do not occur as often as it seems. But I could see where that idea could come from.
First off, it's not a crush, it's an infatuation. And I will admit, I get infatuated with people all the time. No, that does not mean that I need them, pine for them, or even get all stalkerish. It means that for a brief moment, I focus more fully on that person than I would usually. Again, not stalkerish, but for example I'll answer all calls that I receive and put forth more of an effort to call them. I'll hang out with them for longer periods of time and actively engage during those periods. And these periods seem to always take place in cycles. It's always about the damn cycles. Of course there are exceptions, with some people it just doesn't go full circle and goodbye means goodbye.
But anyways, I will develop an infatuation (or a crush) and that's all that it is and evenutally it will fade away. I see the two (infatuation vs. crush) as two separate incidences. The latter occuring rarely where as the prior occurs at least once or twice a month. Honestly the only person that someone looking in could even consider a crush of mine would be Bill, but I cannot even consider him that anymore. And the infatuations, everyone is game for that. I'm not saying that I'm romantically interested in everyone because my infatuations are not based on romantic feelings or the desire to be with/date/see/sleep with ANYONE.
With that being said let me further explain. I'll get infatuated with anyone. It could be a new guy in my life or an old friend, a neighbor who has an amazing life story or an old lady at the hair salon. The fact of the matter is, I'm an airhead, truly, and for me to focus even half-assed on something takes an effort. But when I focus, I tend to give it my all, for a brief period of time. Very brief in some cases.
On to the crush section!
As I've said, I rarely develop crushes. My best guess would be once a year if that. Personally, I'm not interested in trying to date anyone and I'm certainly not trying to settle down in any way, shape, or form. But when I get a crush, I get dumb (or dumber). I have the full symptoms: butterflies, fluttering heart, blushing, giggling, loss of all capabilities of intelligable speech. You name it, I'll have it. I think it's just the connection that I get with some people because it's not something I'm looking for or even wanting to accidentally find. My crushes tend to last a long time, we're talking months on end which is a feat for the girl who can't keep anything going for longer than a week.
If I were smart I'd try to do something about these crushes. But I'm not because I'm a 'tard. I recognize that there is a connection there and yet I keep letting these things go. I could have met the man of my dreams and let him slip away by now. Ah, the story of my life. But that tis another blog.
Ok, I do believe I've gotten a bit of my point across or at least as well as I can manage at 6am.
Onto the updates.
I'm now officially half-way through my summer semester. I've taken two midterms one of which was a bitch (like me, haha). Other than that, family life is still ridiculous and only getting worse. Umm...found out a friend of mine is incredibly sick, so that's got me down. Other than that my life is peachy and I will survive! Hoorah!
So Until Next Time!
My Lovers, I'm Yours
Sami
First off, it's not a crush, it's an infatuation. And I will admit, I get infatuated with people all the time. No, that does not mean that I need them, pine for them, or even get all stalkerish. It means that for a brief moment, I focus more fully on that person than I would usually. Again, not stalkerish, but for example I'll answer all calls that I receive and put forth more of an effort to call them. I'll hang out with them for longer periods of time and actively engage during those periods. And these periods seem to always take place in cycles. It's always about the damn cycles. Of course there are exceptions, with some people it just doesn't go full circle and goodbye means goodbye.
But anyways, I will develop an infatuation (or a crush) and that's all that it is and evenutally it will fade away. I see the two (infatuation vs. crush) as two separate incidences. The latter occuring rarely where as the prior occurs at least once or twice a month. Honestly the only person that someone looking in could even consider a crush of mine would be Bill, but I cannot even consider him that anymore. And the infatuations, everyone is game for that. I'm not saying that I'm romantically interested in everyone because my infatuations are not based on romantic feelings or the desire to be with/date/see/sleep with ANYONE.
With that being said let me further explain. I'll get infatuated with anyone. It could be a new guy in my life or an old friend, a neighbor who has an amazing life story or an old lady at the hair salon. The fact of the matter is, I'm an airhead, truly, and for me to focus even half-assed on something takes an effort. But when I focus, I tend to give it my all, for a brief period of time. Very brief in some cases.
On to the crush section!
As I've said, I rarely develop crushes. My best guess would be once a year if that. Personally, I'm not interested in trying to date anyone and I'm certainly not trying to settle down in any way, shape, or form. But when I get a crush, I get dumb (or dumber). I have the full symptoms: butterflies, fluttering heart, blushing, giggling, loss of all capabilities of intelligable speech. You name it, I'll have it. I think it's just the connection that I get with some people because it's not something I'm looking for or even wanting to accidentally find. My crushes tend to last a long time, we're talking months on end which is a feat for the girl who can't keep anything going for longer than a week.
If I were smart I'd try to do something about these crushes. But I'm not because I'm a 'tard. I recognize that there is a connection there and yet I keep letting these things go. I could have met the man of my dreams and let him slip away by now. Ah, the story of my life. But that tis another blog.
Ok, I do believe I've gotten a bit of my point across or at least as well as I can manage at 6am.
Onto the updates.
I'm now officially half-way through my summer semester. I've taken two midterms one of which was a bitch (like me, haha). Other than that, family life is still ridiculous and only getting worse. Umm...found out a friend of mine is incredibly sick, so that's got me down. Other than that my life is peachy and I will survive! Hoorah!
So Until Next Time!
My Lovers, I'm Yours
Sami