FIC: Tracks of My Tears
Rating: PG-13, for dropping the f-bomb and some more swearing.
Warnings: Probably none.
Beta: Mm, none. All mistakes are mine.
Pairing: This is unnecessary, but Kradam.
Summary: My smile is my make-up, since my break-up with you.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, this never happened, slavery is illegal, blah blah blah.
Notes: So, I've been more than a little obsessed with Adam's version of Tracks of My Tears lately and I had to write this. Also didn't come out quite as well as I wanted it to, but I'll live. Enjoy!
--------------------------------------
When Adam got home, the first thing he did was flop down on the couch and turn on the TV.
And see Kris Allen's face and burst into tears for the five hundredth time.
That wasn't even an exaggeration.
It had been months since then.
Fucking months, and he still wasn't over it.
There was all these rumors going around that he was dating someone. But he hadn't for six months.
SIX. AGONIZING. MONTHS.
He didn'twouldn'tcouldn't heal.
It was impossible.
He had loved him. Still did.
Adam laughed, but it wasn't genuine. It wasn't happy or humorous. It was crazy.
He stumbled into the bathroom and looked in the mirror.
His tears had left wet lines down his face.
Long, wet lines.
The tracks of his tears.
He remembered everything.
Everything, right down to the one moment when they broke up.
It hadn't been quiet.
It had been really fucking loud.
It had lasted at least half an hour.
Adam had run out in tears.
What had they been fighting about? Fucked if he knew.
There was a knock on the door. Adam wiped at his face, looking in the mirror one more time. Crying had left black streaks down his face from his eyeliner, but he didn't care.
He walked to the door, opening it slowly and not even bothering to plaster a smile on his face. He immediately regretted opening it, though, considering the person who had knocked was none other than Kris Allen.
"What do you want?" Adam whispered.
"You've been crying," Kris said, ignoring Adam's question.
"No, I haven't."
"I can see the tracks of your tears," Kris whispered, reaching up to wipe at the still-wet black streaks.
"Oh. Yeah..." Adam muttered, avoiding looking Kris in the eye.
"How often have you been doing that?"
"Just tonight."
"Adam. I know when you're lying."
"Every morning, every night."
"For how long?"
"Six months."
That seemed to make something snap inside Kris. He walked towards Adam, pushing him inside the house. When they were both inside, he closed and locked the door.
"What do you want?" Adam repeated.
"You. I love you, Adam, I always have. These past six months have been just as agonizing for me as they have for you. I was an idiot. I don't even know what we were fighting about in the first place, but what I do know is that I started it, I was an idiot, I pushed you away and I'm the one to blame for your pain. I don't expect you to take me back, but just....know that I love you, okay?" Kris said. Adam laughed and it was watery, but genuine.
"You seriously think....I wouldn't want you? Even after....Oh God, Kris, of course I still....I never....I never stopped loving you, ever. There were times when I wanted to, I really did, but I couldn't. I thought about what I would do without you, where I would be now. I would have dropped out of Idol, I would probably be some bum on the street. I thought about what would happen if something happened to you. That....I didn't want to think about that, I pushed it out of my head. Or I tried. I tried so fucking hard, but it made me cry h-h-harder a-and...." he broke down for the second time tonight.
He felt Kris' arms wrap around him, holding him close.
"I promise you Adam, I'll never leave you again."
Warnings: Probably none.
Beta: Mm, none. All mistakes are mine.
Pairing: This is unnecessary, but Kradam.
Summary: My smile is my make-up, since my break-up with you.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, this never happened, slavery is illegal, blah blah blah.
Notes: So, I've been more than a little obsessed with Adam's version of Tracks of My Tears lately and I had to write this. Also didn't come out quite as well as I wanted it to, but I'll live. Enjoy!
--------------------------------------
When Adam got home, the first thing he did was flop down on the couch and turn on the TV.
And see Kris Allen's face and burst into tears for the five hundredth time.
That wasn't even an exaggeration.
It had been months since then.
Fucking months, and he still wasn't over it.
There was all these rumors going around that he was dating someone. But he hadn't for six months.
SIX. AGONIZING. MONTHS.
He didn'twouldn'tcouldn't heal.
It was impossible.
He had loved him. Still did.
Adam laughed, but it wasn't genuine. It wasn't happy or humorous. It was crazy.
He stumbled into the bathroom and looked in the mirror.
His tears had left wet lines down his face.
Long, wet lines.
The tracks of his tears.
He remembered everything.
Everything, right down to the one moment when they broke up.
It hadn't been quiet.
It had been really fucking loud.
It had lasted at least half an hour.
Adam had run out in tears.
What had they been fighting about? Fucked if he knew.
There was a knock on the door. Adam wiped at his face, looking in the mirror one more time. Crying had left black streaks down his face from his eyeliner, but he didn't care.
He walked to the door, opening it slowly and not even bothering to plaster a smile on his face. He immediately regretted opening it, though, considering the person who had knocked was none other than Kris Allen.
"What do you want?" Adam whispered.
"You've been crying," Kris said, ignoring Adam's question.
"No, I haven't."
"I can see the tracks of your tears," Kris whispered, reaching up to wipe at the still-wet black streaks.
"Oh. Yeah..." Adam muttered, avoiding looking Kris in the eye.
"How often have you been doing that?"
"Just tonight."
"Adam. I know when you're lying."
"Every morning, every night."
"For how long?"
"Six months."
That seemed to make something snap inside Kris. He walked towards Adam, pushing him inside the house. When they were both inside, he closed and locked the door.
"What do you want?" Adam repeated.
"You. I love you, Adam, I always have. These past six months have been just as agonizing for me as they have for you. I was an idiot. I don't even know what we were fighting about in the first place, but what I do know is that I started it, I was an idiot, I pushed you away and I'm the one to blame for your pain. I don't expect you to take me back, but just....know that I love you, okay?" Kris said. Adam laughed and it was watery, but genuine.
"You seriously think....I wouldn't want you? Even after....Oh God, Kris, of course I still....I never....I never stopped loving you, ever. There were times when I wanted to, I really did, but I couldn't. I thought about what I would do without you, where I would be now. I would have dropped out of Idol, I would probably be some bum on the street. I thought about what would happen if something happened to you. That....I didn't want to think about that, I pushed it out of my head. Or I tried. I tried so fucking hard, but it made me cry h-h-harder a-and...." he broke down for the second time tonight.
He felt Kris' arms wrap around him, holding him close.
"I promise you Adam, I'll never leave you again."