Monday Morning Reading
On Rape and Men
There is a point in discussions of rape, when the discussion turns from the particular to the systemic, when the idea that, for example, many cultures have a value system that makes men believe they are fundamentally entitled to women's bodies (or time or attention, but mostly bodies), when the exceptionism starts to come out. Say it with me, now: not all men are like that.
[....]
One of the hardest things I learned from the discussions of racism is not that I have absorbed racist attitudes from my culture, but that under the right circumstances, those attitudes can become action. And no, I don't want a cookie: that's not a good thing. But as squirmy as that realization makes me, I like to think I have learned that objecting when POC point this out is kind of not the best response.
Interesting discussion in the comments, on everything from making generalizations to men who are victims of rape to the "tone argument."
A lot of them struck me, but this one in particular I wanted to reference, just because it's so pervasive.
The commenter was talking about his/her college paper publishing a "How to Avoid Being Raped" list. We've all seen it. Don't walk alone after dark. Call a male friend to walk with you. Walk aggressively. Cross the street if there's a man walking behind you, etc. Ad nauseum.
The feminist group on campus published a similar list targeted at men--"Here's How to Avoid Being Mistaken for a Rapist"--and the commenter says:
I had a two hour break in between classes on the day it was distributed, so I watched people's responses to reading these flyers. They tended to be either angry ("what! they can't tell me what to do") or confused ("this.... this is a joke, right?").
It was illuminating and funny and very very sad. The ones who assumed the flyer was legitimate didn't talk about the practicality of the advice or take it to heart, or bring it up in their next men's group meeting, they just got angry. The ones who thought it was a joke couldn't believe that this type of advice could be taken seriously by anyone, because the suggestions were in themselves ridiculous.
Funny ol' world, isn't it?
~*~*~
If I had a Magic 8 Ball, I'd ask it if today looks like a productive day.
I think I know the answer.
(Outcome uncertain.) Ask again later.
There is a point in discussions of rape, when the discussion turns from the particular to the systemic, when the idea that, for example, many cultures have a value system that makes men believe they are fundamentally entitled to women's bodies (or time or attention, but mostly bodies), when the exceptionism starts to come out. Say it with me, now: not all men are like that.
[....]
One of the hardest things I learned from the discussions of racism is not that I have absorbed racist attitudes from my culture, but that under the right circumstances, those attitudes can become action. And no, I don't want a cookie: that's not a good thing. But as squirmy as that realization makes me, I like to think I have learned that objecting when POC point this out is kind of not the best response.
Interesting discussion in the comments, on everything from making generalizations to men who are victims of rape to the "tone argument."
A lot of them struck me, but this one in particular I wanted to reference, just because it's so pervasive.
The commenter was talking about his/her college paper publishing a "How to Avoid Being Raped" list. We've all seen it. Don't walk alone after dark. Call a male friend to walk with you. Walk aggressively. Cross the street if there's a man walking behind you, etc. Ad nauseum.
The feminist group on campus published a similar list targeted at men--"Here's How to Avoid Being Mistaken for a Rapist"--and the commenter says:
I had a two hour break in between classes on the day it was distributed, so I watched people's responses to reading these flyers. They tended to be either angry ("what! they can't tell me what to do") or confused ("this.... this is a joke, right?").
It was illuminating and funny and very very sad. The ones who assumed the flyer was legitimate didn't talk about the practicality of the advice or take it to heart, or bring it up in their next men's group meeting, they just got angry. The ones who thought it was a joke couldn't believe that this type of advice could be taken seriously by anyone, because the suggestions were in themselves ridiculous.
Funny ol' world, isn't it?
~*~*~
If I had a Magic 8 Ball, I'd ask it if today looks like a productive day.
I think I know the answer.
(Outcome uncertain.) Ask again later.