I want to go home... Sigh.

[sanguineroses]

I appreciate that none of the parties of which I speak intended to offend anyone; it doesn't make it all better though. It really doesn't matter if I didn't intend to mark "B" instead of "A" on my test - it's still wrong, and I still get a worse grade because of it. But more to the point, all of this (I believe well-intentioned) emphasis on the intent of the offender privileges the offender at the expense of recognizing the experience of the offended. In other words, if I didn't mean to offend you, then it doesn't matter what you feel because I am well-intentioned and you are obviously over-sensitive.

From the post Race, Sex, and the Privileged Concept of Offense