I'm a dick.. I'm addicted to you
Why do I feel so fucking miserable. Maybe because it's 9:02 in the goddamn morning. Maybe because I'm 2 days off from my period.
Maybe it's because I have to put my fucking wedding off FOUR YEARS.
Maybe it's because I have to move in with my fucking fiancee (can't afford my own apt, loyola dorms, or the insanity caused by my parents) even though everytime his parents come in I have to go stay in a fucking hotel because he can't tell them I live here, or that we're engaged.
Maybe it's because he's never there for me when I need him the most. Oh yeah, if my crisis falls between 12 and 5 when he's had sleep, we're all good. If not... yeah fuck even expecting him to accompany me to the vet with my sick dog at 8 in the morning when he promised just the night before.
Maybe it's because my dog is in the vet, and I can't handle having animals I love be sick.
Maybe it's because I don't fucking know how I'm supposed to feel, but if I say anything it will be written off as PMS.
I'm tired of this fucking bullshit. Fucking sick of this shit.
And ontop of all this I have no fucking life. My friends are in college, I have to get money to get into college, I have to work, go to school and then find time to spend with family/fiancee. This is shit.
You like pain but only if it doesn't hurt too much
And you sit...and you wait...to receive
There's an abvious attraction
To the path of least resistance in your life
There's an obvious aversion no amount of my insistance
Could make you try tonight
-Alanis, Wake Up
Maybe it's because I have to put my fucking wedding off FOUR YEARS.
Maybe it's because I have to move in with my fucking fiancee (can't afford my own apt, loyola dorms, or the insanity caused by my parents) even though everytime his parents come in I have to go stay in a fucking hotel because he can't tell them I live here, or that we're engaged.
Maybe it's because he's never there for me when I need him the most. Oh yeah, if my crisis falls between 12 and 5 when he's had sleep, we're all good. If not... yeah fuck even expecting him to accompany me to the vet with my sick dog at 8 in the morning when he promised just the night before.
Maybe it's because my dog is in the vet, and I can't handle having animals I love be sick.
Maybe it's because I don't fucking know how I'm supposed to feel, but if I say anything it will be written off as PMS.
I'm tired of this fucking bullshit. Fucking sick of this shit.
And ontop of all this I have no fucking life. My friends are in college, I have to get money to get into college, I have to work, go to school and then find time to spend with family/fiancee. This is shit.
You like pain but only if it doesn't hurt too much
And you sit...and you wait...to receive
There's an abvious attraction
To the path of least resistance in your life
There's an obvious aversion no amount of my insistance
Could make you try tonight
-Alanis, Wake Up