I might be just a notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song

May 07, 2006 15:54

Oh my god. I haven't had my internet in so long. I was very upset, but my lovely brother just fixed it. Thanks Rick ( Read more... )

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aquariusunshine May 7 2006, 22:24:55 UTC
i'm not leaving babe. not yet anyways..who knows where i'll end up.

it's okay.

you'll find prince charming...

who knows if this relationship with kevin will even last. you know how many times i've gone through the boys telling me they love me thing and then leaving me or cheating on me. i hope this isnt like that but...it seems to be popular in my course of relationships. dont be jealous. you're beautiful and you've got a good future ahead of you.

here are the lyrics to the song i wrote:

madeline
did you fall tonight
madeline
did he not call tonight?
madeline
i wont say i told you so
but darling dear you know
that boy has gotta go

before he plucks your heart out
before he sets a showdown
i'll have to punch his lights out
cause you'll end up bleeding on the ground...

madeliene
did he cut your pretty face?
madeliene
did you put him in his place?
madeliene
i told you i'd be there
to cut off all memories of him
that still live inside of your hair

before he plays those silly games
he can fuck someone else and use your name in vain
he doesnt care about your pain
you cant go back baby- it's not the same...

madeliene.

love you sis.

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ghstonstage May 9 2006, 03:17:19 UTC
beautiful as always kp,

jeanne, i love you. don't fret. you know he's not the one for you. there are many people in the world i believe we can be truely happy with. now you don't have to waste your time on him, so don't!!

who knows what'll happen with todd. i know this is the happiest i've been so far. with each relationship it gets better and better. look back at yours, can't you say the same? we're growing, finding what we want/need/deserve.

we're young. we aren't going to have our lives carved in stone (no one does) strive for happiness (YOUR OWN). when i finally just let go of will, things happened. it took me a while to realize it though, lol.

i love you both

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aquariusunshine May 9 2006, 13:14:54 UTC
i agree with what you said b. this will get graphic but so be it..

i tried having sex with at least 4 people after jordan. i couldnt and i had to stop them because i started bawling my eyes out. i was just so hurt that everyone fell short of jordan because i didnt want them to measure up. thank god that ended cos i was torturing myself. every friday and saturday i'd drink myself into a hole and when i tried to move on it just didnt work. that's okay at first too..i was trying to see other people, but sometimes it doesnt work and if you meet someone and it's not working out so great at first - it's okay. you owe yourself time to have fun. i was so unsure about kevin even when we first me -i didnt think i was attracted to him remember? i even told him i wasnt at first - but once i let go of the hurt in my past from jordan..i allowed myself to have feelings and those feelings eventually grew for once instead of sprouting from no where like they usually do.

i'm still in shock about brandon because he truely took a 180 and i know how sad that is. a day doesnt go by though that i still dont think of jordan just because of what he did to me still affects my trust in others - but that's okay..it's like a scar.

take this as a scar, something you can refer to and grow from. he hurt you. you deserve better. you WILL find better - but only once you can find the strength to let go. believe me i cant fathom how hard this is for you...being with him for over 2 years. i've never been lucky enough to have something actually last.

you know he wasnt treating you as good as you were treating him. i've seen it first hand..i'm sure brit has..and i know john has.
you're soooooo beautiful. sooooo beautiful and extremely talented.
love isnt far away baby...you're just hiding from the possibilities.

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