A Turning Point
Today I am 27. I am no longer mid twenties. I am LATE twenties. Today is the first birthday in a while where I have actually FELT older. I am only 3 years from 30 and I need to start accomplishing some things. I have a list and will hopefully be checking things off. I am hoping I won't lose inspiration.
I have done a lot with my life in some senses. I have traveled a fair bit, though there is SO much more to see and so many different and more meaningful ways to see it. I wonder sometimes if I should have set off on my own and struggled through my travels meeting people and having amazing experiences. But I have had a few of those even if they didn't happen while camping alone in the wilderness and surviving off of whatever I can find. Maybe I will do some sort of survival trip eventually. I have a semi-degree in what I want to do, even if it is not as much of a degree as I would like, I have a little time still. I am married. Something I never thought I would do and still wonder about sometimes, but that is natural I am told. I wonder if I have lived my life to the fullest. On some levels perhaps I have lived TOO fully, perhaps in the wrong ways and in others I wonder if I have completely stifled who I could have been. I am hoping it is never too late.
I am, unfortunately, NOT a millionaire. I have kind of given up hope on a lot of aspirations and dreams that might have helped me become one. I am not entirely comfortable with that but maybe I just don't have the motivation. haha.
I live in London. A decision I made without thinking it all the way through but I am here now and will make the best of it. I love it here but I have realized I will never love it as much as I love San Francisco. It will never be home to me. I miss my friends, the friends that I still have at this point which I am hoping means they are there for life. However, living here does give me the opportunity to see more of the world, as Europe is on my doorstep and I hope to take as much advantage of that as possible before I inevitably go back to California, whenever that might be.
For today, I will settle for the decision that I am going to get fit, get into the condition I have always wanted to be in, it will take time but I am hoping it will be worth it. I am going to be less complacent and try harder in more areas of my life and I am going to do my damnedest to have a Happy Birthday despite my mood.
I have done a lot with my life in some senses. I have traveled a fair bit, though there is SO much more to see and so many different and more meaningful ways to see it. I wonder sometimes if I should have set off on my own and struggled through my travels meeting people and having amazing experiences. But I have had a few of those even if they didn't happen while camping alone in the wilderness and surviving off of whatever I can find. Maybe I will do some sort of survival trip eventually. I have a semi-degree in what I want to do, even if it is not as much of a degree as I would like, I have a little time still. I am married. Something I never thought I would do and still wonder about sometimes, but that is natural I am told. I wonder if I have lived my life to the fullest. On some levels perhaps I have lived TOO fully, perhaps in the wrong ways and in others I wonder if I have completely stifled who I could have been. I am hoping it is never too late.
I am, unfortunately, NOT a millionaire. I have kind of given up hope on a lot of aspirations and dreams that might have helped me become one. I am not entirely comfortable with that but maybe I just don't have the motivation. haha.
I live in London. A decision I made without thinking it all the way through but I am here now and will make the best of it. I love it here but I have realized I will never love it as much as I love San Francisco. It will never be home to me. I miss my friends, the friends that I still have at this point which I am hoping means they are there for life. However, living here does give me the opportunity to see more of the world, as Europe is on my doorstep and I hope to take as much advantage of that as possible before I inevitably go back to California, whenever that might be.
For today, I will settle for the decision that I am going to get fit, get into the condition I have always wanted to be in, it will take time but I am hoping it will be worth it. I am going to be less complacent and try harder in more areas of my life and I am going to do my damnedest to have a Happy Birthday despite my mood.