Lackey.
I am genuinely...lost.
After over a decade of straight up education, behind the desk in front of a structure of unkempt stationary, I cannot actually bring myself to do anything around the house now that everyone's going to uni or going back to school.
It's wierd. Usually when I have some spare time, I'm able to drag myself downstairs and watch a good 3 hours of daytime tv.
Yes, three.
However, with the loss of many to those giant institutes that they call university, finding people to mock these programmes with has drawn a blank. Yes, there are people at work, but with limited numbers and the few people I genuinly like coming in on random days means I have become frustrated with...dare I say it..."torment" and "anguish" for intellectual stimulation.
I miss the people in school. I miss the structure that I've grown accustomed to. However much I hated it, it was there-reliable and somewhat comforting. Even if in the last year lessons dwindled in numbers to about three hours a day (less if you count each lesson lasting 45 minutes of actual teaching time) there was still something I could wake up to, the faces I would have been more than happy to see, and the random, crazy shit that only kids could get up to.
Now that I've taken the ubiquitious gap year, my life feels incredibly empty besides work. I have a feeling I'll be one of those waiting staff during a night shift crying to myself in the cold store, wondering how and why I got myself into this mess in the first place. Work is work, so they say.
Plus, having all this money and having nowhere to actually spend it frustates me also. If there had been a point where someone asked if I was able to go somewhere during the time I was in school, then I would have wanted to-except that I always had the excuse that I both had very little cash and that my parents-completly unbalanced and stereotypically asian- would say no. They believed that going out would "disturb my revision time". Yes, going out to a party 6 months before your exams would completly corrupt you.
Fucking hell, no wonder I have issues.