Another poem
Yes, after I have been gone for ages, I've decided to throw you a fun poem I just made about my Spanish experience. I don't have any illusions of greatness in writing anymore, but I thought it might be amusing. I will perhaps also direct you to my tumblr, where I have been posting very frequently since September. Feel free to add me. I'm quite proud of it actually:
http://spaingirl.tumblr.com/
For now I have decided to title it A la Carta
A la Carta
Catalan, perhaps, is what you used to impress most.
Molt be. No lo entenc. Si que en entenc.
Or perhaps it is your pride in what is called the not-lisp
the difference between coser, and cocer
as if feminine traits could be distinguished.
For me it is another thing, when I ask
for a jugo, and not a zumo.
Or how, in this mix of languages, I might be asking for a blowjob instead
of a french kiss, or a straw.
Not that these are all not perhaps nice
I remember, on my first day here I managed to say
a man was having an orgasm
instead of running on the beach
Maybe that is why he came back to wave
while I choked back, paella.
Some pointers: these are all based on real experiences I've had in my time speaking here. Some of the subtleties: coser is to sew and cocer is to cook. Jugo and zumo are the same thing but a Spaniard won't understand you if you say jugo, also you "not-lisp" on zumo. The joke I use in the next line is that I could be asking for a blowjob instead of juice because Americans can accidentally say all kinds of sexual things without knowing it. But if you know Spanish, you realize I'm talking about the "beso frances" or the "pajilla." (The line goes in both directions.)
The thing about "I managed to say" can also go many ways: I could have remembered saying all the lines preceding (From the Catalan to french kisses and straws perhaps being nice), OR how much I said could alter the reailty of the entire rest of the poem. I could have said "I remember" in which case I don't know much Spanish and for some reason a random happy man is having an orgasm instead of running on the beach, and is thus waving to me while I choke back my paella. I could have confused the two phrases: "A man is having an orgasm" and "a man is running on the beach" and since he heard me, he came back to wave while I was choking on some paella. Another possibilty is that I made up the entire story, and managed to say all of it, while I was choking on my paella (the difference between correr and correrse is funny after all). Or I could have just been saying the entire rest of the poem. Also, the man could have heard me and waved, and instead of choking the physical food paella (a mix of rice, veggies, and your choice of meat), I could have been saying the word itself, which has an ambiguous meaning in a world where french kisses, orange juice, straws, and blow jobs can all be the same thing. Paella can be a very heavy dish meant to be shared between two people (like an overload of interchange between cultures), and as I said, is a mix of many things. I like the game all of this presents. I don't mean for all of these possibilities to be seen necessarily although I hope the potential between my choking back the food or the word paella can be seen.