Back to Life, Back to Reality
So vacation is over.
It was nice. I was sick the Thursday before, and I had the Friday off due to the wonderful G20 business...that's the last I will say on that matter.
So I basically chilled and did domestic stuff those two days. Thursday I hung out with Ali a bit and we grabbed all the camping gear we needed for the weekend.
Still not sure why we bought a tent, sleeping bag, air mattress and other various items, when my sister offered hers...but we now have a cool tent, comfy sleeping bag and an air mattress should we ever need them.
Saturday we drove up to our friends cottage and spent the night hanging out with friends. Slept under the stars and I really got to understand how small my bladder is as I made several trips accross the lawn back and forth during the night. Woke up Ali apparently.
Woke up to the sound of cows mooing and roosters calling...that was a first. Kinda nice in a way.
Sunday we slowly made our way back to the city, dropped Ali off and chilled out.
Apparently I left the window open on the back drivers side a touch, and we had a downpour, so the back seat was wet. Ooopps.
Monday did nothing. Tuesday visited an old co-worker, did some shopping and went home. Wednesday....I think I did nothing?
Thursday we went to the beach to see the fireworks. First time in the 11 years we've been together that we've done that. It was great, we had awesome seats. The walk home because the TTC was slow and it would have cost us UBER amounts to cab....well we felt it the next day (all up hill).
Friday we chilled during the morning and then met up with Ali for a double bad movie night. First Twilight at Scotiabank, then The Last Airbender and AMC. Was lots of fun.
Saturday I went to the spa with my sister and did some shopping, Sunday we did nothing. Not a thing. Was nice.
Back to work today. I didn't dread the trip in, nor do I dread being here...but there is a sad feeling in my chest.
I think I've lost my love for my work. It's not interesting anymore. It's stressful and super busy, and not exciting or challenging to me anymore.
I don't know how to fix this other than looking for a higher position somewhere else, which I'd rather not do right now. I like my buildings, I like my team. I can't ask for a promotion within because there isn't the spot, plus there is no room for someone to take over my job in the offfice. I can't ask for more different and exciting work...I'm having issues staying on top of my current work.
I actually felt the words "I quit" coming out of my mouth this morning. I've never been like that. I told Gimik that happened this morning and he is wondering what's going on. It's not typical of me at all. I've only ever left a company before to do reasons like abusive management. Not just because I don't want to do it anymore.
That's not me.
I hope I can work through this because I can't just leave. We couldn't afford it, I have no idea what else I would do....it's just not in the cards.
I guess I just suck it up for now and keep moving. But how do I get motivated?
It was nice. I was sick the Thursday before, and I had the Friday off due to the wonderful G20 business...that's the last I will say on that matter.
So I basically chilled and did domestic stuff those two days. Thursday I hung out with Ali a bit and we grabbed all the camping gear we needed for the weekend.
Still not sure why we bought a tent, sleeping bag, air mattress and other various items, when my sister offered hers...but we now have a cool tent, comfy sleeping bag and an air mattress should we ever need them.
Saturday we drove up to our friends cottage and spent the night hanging out with friends. Slept under the stars and I really got to understand how small my bladder is as I made several trips accross the lawn back and forth during the night. Woke up Ali apparently.
Woke up to the sound of cows mooing and roosters calling...that was a first. Kinda nice in a way.
Sunday we slowly made our way back to the city, dropped Ali off and chilled out.
Apparently I left the window open on the back drivers side a touch, and we had a downpour, so the back seat was wet. Ooopps.
Monday did nothing. Tuesday visited an old co-worker, did some shopping and went home. Wednesday....I think I did nothing?
Thursday we went to the beach to see the fireworks. First time in the 11 years we've been together that we've done that. It was great, we had awesome seats. The walk home because the TTC was slow and it would have cost us UBER amounts to cab....well we felt it the next day (all up hill).
Friday we chilled during the morning and then met up with Ali for a double bad movie night. First Twilight at Scotiabank, then The Last Airbender and AMC. Was lots of fun.
Saturday I went to the spa with my sister and did some shopping, Sunday we did nothing. Not a thing. Was nice.
Back to work today. I didn't dread the trip in, nor do I dread being here...but there is a sad feeling in my chest.
I think I've lost my love for my work. It's not interesting anymore. It's stressful and super busy, and not exciting or challenging to me anymore.
I don't know how to fix this other than looking for a higher position somewhere else, which I'd rather not do right now. I like my buildings, I like my team. I can't ask for a promotion within because there isn't the spot, plus there is no room for someone to take over my job in the offfice. I can't ask for more different and exciting work...I'm having issues staying on top of my current work.
I actually felt the words "I quit" coming out of my mouth this morning. I've never been like that. I told Gimik that happened this morning and he is wondering what's going on. It's not typical of me at all. I've only ever left a company before to do reasons like abusive management. Not just because I don't want to do it anymore.
That's not me.
I hope I can work through this because I can't just leave. We couldn't afford it, I have no idea what else I would do....it's just not in the cards.
I guess I just suck it up for now and keep moving. But how do I get motivated?