Monday, June 30, 2008
Words are Everything
Words are everything. They can hurt and they can heal. It is our words that make all the difference in our day to day lives. The words we speak to ourselves and to everyone else everyday of our lives help to define who we are to ourselves and to others. All we really have is ourselves and our words.
What I am getting at here is that this weekend when Dave used words to hurt, I sat back and passively did nothing.
On the other side if I had said anything to Dave I know it wouldn't change him.
So what do I do when he does it again?
Do I sit there and allow the racist words continue or do I speak up and hope that I can make a difference in his word choices and feelings?
I feel guilty because I didn’t stand up to Dave. I feel guilty because I just sat there and tried to ignore him. I didn’t say the racist words. I didn't laugh at the jokes. I didn't start the conversation. So I really shouldn’t be feeling guilty.
I didn't push Dave off the dock either though.
I didn't stand up and yell at Dave to stop. I didn't tell him that the people he was degrading worked harder than he ever did in his life. That some of the hardest working and smartest people I have known were the very ones he was bringing down with his slurs. I didn't tell Dave that he made me ashamed of being near him and of knowing him.
Pushing Dave off of the dock would have been an unwise move. Telling Dave off for saying what he was saying probably won’t change him, but mayhap when I’m around would stop the words coming out of his mouth for a little while at least.
I think it is important to show intolerance for intolerance for others. Even if it is someone who you will be related to some day through marriage or to your own blood family or friends.
Next time Dave uses his words I will use mine. It has to stop.
The hate has to stop.
I’m not saying we all have to hold hands and sing together. What I want is for everyone to have at least some modicum of understanding that we are all human and we all deserve to be treated as we want to be treated by others. I know that is a bit cliché but I think it is a good one.
I’m sorry I didn’t use my words to show Dave how I felt about his. I will in the future. With him or anyone else.
With love and grace,
LadyGrace
Words are everything. They can hurt and they can heal. It is our words that make all the difference in our day to day lives. The words we speak to ourselves and to everyone else everyday of our lives help to define who we are to ourselves and to others. All we really have is ourselves and our words.
What I am getting at here is that this weekend when Dave used words to hurt, I sat back and passively did nothing.
On the other side if I had said anything to Dave I know it wouldn't change him.
So what do I do when he does it again?
Do I sit there and allow the racist words continue or do I speak up and hope that I can make a difference in his word choices and feelings?
I feel guilty because I didn’t stand up to Dave. I feel guilty because I just sat there and tried to ignore him. I didn’t say the racist words. I didn't laugh at the jokes. I didn't start the conversation. So I really shouldn’t be feeling guilty.
I didn't push Dave off the dock either though.
I didn't stand up and yell at Dave to stop. I didn't tell him that the people he was degrading worked harder than he ever did in his life. That some of the hardest working and smartest people I have known were the very ones he was bringing down with his slurs. I didn't tell Dave that he made me ashamed of being near him and of knowing him.
Pushing Dave off of the dock would have been an unwise move. Telling Dave off for saying what he was saying probably won’t change him, but mayhap when I’m around would stop the words coming out of his mouth for a little while at least.
I think it is important to show intolerance for intolerance for others. Even if it is someone who you will be related to some day through marriage or to your own blood family or friends.
Next time Dave uses his words I will use mine. It has to stop.
The hate has to stop.
I’m not saying we all have to hold hands and sing together. What I want is for everyone to have at least some modicum of understanding that we are all human and we all deserve to be treated as we want to be treated by others. I know that is a bit cliché but I think it is a good one.
I’m sorry I didn’t use my words to show Dave how I felt about his. I will in the future. With him or anyone else.
With love and grace,
LadyGrace