(no subject)
Well, my brother is a jerk because he decided that it would be quite funny to get under my name and send crap to my friends, pretending to be me, but I took care of everything. I am sad that the school year is ending because I have nothing to show for myself. I didn't accomplish anything this year. Not in my school-work or personal life. All I did was complicate my life. I still have no boyfriend, and almost no one is interested in me, but that's okay because I don't need anyone. the one thing that I am proud to have done is to finally realize the importance of art work in my life. It is not about how good it is , but about the passion and inspiration behind. I am trying to draw again, and start doing things that I have forgotten to once again fill my life. I am hoping that on day I will be able to stop whining about stupid things. I don't know. I just wish that Mr. Somebody would call me!...but it's okay. I have plans.
My friends have been fighting, and I think that they should stop! Its not the end of the world though it may feel so. You should really hear yourselves because you both seem to want the same things and neither of you will listen. I think that I will try to stay out of it and not pick a side because you are both wrong, yet you're both right. unfortunately I cannot stay out of it completely because your life affects mine. It is quite unfortunate. Just calm down and deal with what has been laid before you. That is really all you can do.
I have to start facing up to life now because I only have one more year left. I feel like Justin M., I don't feel like this is my grade. I don't know whether I feel I should be leaving or have a lot more time left. I think that it is all just my own delusions and attempts at avoidance. Avoidance of life, responsibilty, and other very hard truths.
Jeff once said to me that you always have to have a state of equilibrium. Everytime something good happens then something bad must happen soon after so that you stay balanced. Now all I do is stay unhappy because I keep thinking that once I get happy that something horrible will happen. I can't just be happy any more. I just want to stay at a sorta happy state. Then, I can't be hurt. Maybe she is wrong, maybe they are all wrong. I can be happy without consequences right? And maybe what is supposed to be bad to keep me balanced won't be all that bad, maybe everytime I get a little happy only something a little bad will happen. I will get a good grade on a final, and I will also lose a favorite earing. Something simple. Who knows? I won't spend my life being a pessimist... even if it kills me.
I hope that this day ends well because this day has been hectic. I guess if I must be balanced then it will be good. I hope that Mr. Somebody calls! Well, I hope that everyone has a great, balanced day!
My friends have been fighting, and I think that they should stop! Its not the end of the world though it may feel so. You should really hear yourselves because you both seem to want the same things and neither of you will listen. I think that I will try to stay out of it and not pick a side because you are both wrong, yet you're both right. unfortunately I cannot stay out of it completely because your life affects mine. It is quite unfortunate. Just calm down and deal with what has been laid before you. That is really all you can do.
I have to start facing up to life now because I only have one more year left. I feel like Justin M., I don't feel like this is my grade. I don't know whether I feel I should be leaving or have a lot more time left. I think that it is all just my own delusions and attempts at avoidance. Avoidance of life, responsibilty, and other very hard truths.
Jeff once said to me that you always have to have a state of equilibrium. Everytime something good happens then something bad must happen soon after so that you stay balanced. Now all I do is stay unhappy because I keep thinking that once I get happy that something horrible will happen. I can't just be happy any more. I just want to stay at a sorta happy state. Then, I can't be hurt. Maybe she is wrong, maybe they are all wrong. I can be happy without consequences right? And maybe what is supposed to be bad to keep me balanced won't be all that bad, maybe everytime I get a little happy only something a little bad will happen. I will get a good grade on a final, and I will also lose a favorite earing. Something simple. Who knows? I won't spend my life being a pessimist... even if it kills me.
I hope that this day ends well because this day has been hectic. I guess if I must be balanced then it will be good. I hope that Mr. Somebody calls! Well, I hope that everyone has a great, balanced day!