(no subject)
So its sure been a while since I posted in this thing
Most things have changed in the past few months. I'm finally out of Park Merced, the stupid complex right next to state, and I'm loving it. Living in a real neighborhood, Muni stops 2 seconds away, biking to school. It's all quite nice. Even my roomies are workin out fine. Anthony and Ruth.
It's a time of firsts. I've never lived with a girl before, luckily I've been trained well. Whenever she asks about how the clothing she's wearing looks I knew from the beginning, give it a perfunctory glance, and tell her how good it looks. Little things like this have saved me time and time again.
But besides living with a girl, I'm also living with a couple. Living with Jordan... and therefore Sara... in no way shape or form counted, she was an uninvited guest, where as Anthony and Ruth, yah know, are my roomies. They make me quite uncomfortable from time to time, and revel in that fact. I'm getting better though. I still don't do well with the PDA that constantly is infront of me.
Um... lets see, I've come the closest to a date with a girl as of yet. I had a thing for one of my co-workers, Eliza. This cool Polish chick, it just sorta happened. In the end of July we started hanging out on a weekly basis, seeing movies and such, by the beginning of September we were hanging out every few nights, going to bars, and other friend/co-workers places. It was interesting, for one of the first times I decided to actually keep up the friendship with a girl I liked, rather than treating her like she had some from of contagious disease. (She's gone now by the way, on some long roadtrip with her roomies, and then, probably, going back to Poland soon after her return.)
I guess this is for the best. In my pussyness I never made a move on her, mainly because I knew she'd be leaving for Poland in all likelihood. According to one of her closest girlfriends even had she liked me in a more than friendly way, nothing would have happened because she didn't want a relationship, seeing as she was returning to Poland. I guess it was good, gave me a few months of having a really good friend, a semblance of a life again, and now she can just get tacked onto the relatively small list of girls I've had crushes on. Even if she does come back I'm not certain I'd be able to face her, Sabrina, her girlfriend/my friend, told me how obvious my infatuation was, so she had to know. That mortifies me. Normally I'm better at concealing those feelings.
But yeah, so now life is pretty much back to normal. I've got school, which is really not challenging in the slightest this semester, and work, where they keep cutting my hours. I think they want me to quit. But I refuse to until I have another job lined up, and I don't want any retail shit. I'm hoping to get into a backstage workers union that, of all people, Eliza turned me onto. If I were to get in I'd basically be loading and unloading shit at events all over the city, and getting payed $30 and hour to do so. It'd be nice, of course it wouldn't fill in the huge amounts of time I have free.
So what am I doing with my free time these days? Well reading. I've read alot, and I've sorta expanded my horizons, I know for the last few years all anyones seen me with is Pulp Fantasy stuff. It's entertaining, but not much else. So I'm spreading out. Currently one of my projects is to figure out what I believe in exactly. Spiritually that is. It's funny that I'm writing this as I'm in the middle of the Yom Kipper fast, because currently I'm reading The God Delusion. Much of what it's saying makes sense to me. I'm definitely not Agnostic. I'm also not really a jew. Even in fasting for Yom Kipper, my reasons are my own, I decided that its good to take a day, and not eat, reflect upon the things you did in the last year, and what you don't want to repeat. I don't believe that god is going to wipe the slate clean for me, like the "holiday" says he will, because I don't think I believe in a god. It just doesn't make sense to me. But I also don't think I'm truly an atheist, from what I see, yes, they believe there is no god, but they don't believe in the occult either, and I'm becoming more intrigued by that as well.
My brother has his meditation, thats where his searching has brought him, I like the idea, I know some exercises, but its never seized me the way it has him. For me, after over a year of working with this chick Ana, and having many long discussions about Astrology, crystal reading, tarot, and the like I've decided to look into that area a bit more seriously. I don't know that anything will come of it but I just convinced myself to purchase a Thoth Tarot deck, and 3 different books on the interpretation and ideas behind the cards. I figure this could be an interesting and new area to study a bit. Again, I'm not sure I know what I'm hoping to get out of this, but it should be interesting.
So yeah, besides trying to "find myself", I guess you could say, and reading, my massive amounts of extra time is filled with watching DVDs and online poker. The DVDs are courtesy of Anthony. He has far too many, and its made me quite entertained. As far as poker goes, I'm getting better. I now tend to only enter one large tourney a night. I tend to play for between 3 and 6 hours, and I tend to make in the money. Just nothing worth writing about. I'm always right on the brink. If I buy in for 10 I get 27 back, if I buy in for 25 I get 40... but if I could just make it a little further, then I'd get some real money. I'm just afraid if I change up my strategy too much, I'll stop cashing, rather than cashing for more...
Well looking at my life, I think I would have to agree with Anthony's assessment of earlier today. I need to get laid. But thats just not going to happen. My crushes don't really happen all that often, and Eliza's gone. I'm not gonna go out a buy some time with a woman, so yeah... too bad I guess. Maybe once I know how to read the Tarot cards they'll tell me if I was a fuckin moron or not
This sure went on longer than I anticipated. Time to put in some 30 Rock.
~Live in interesting times
Most things have changed in the past few months. I'm finally out of Park Merced, the stupid complex right next to state, and I'm loving it. Living in a real neighborhood, Muni stops 2 seconds away, biking to school. It's all quite nice. Even my roomies are workin out fine. Anthony and Ruth.
It's a time of firsts. I've never lived with a girl before, luckily I've been trained well. Whenever she asks about how the clothing she's wearing looks I knew from the beginning, give it a perfunctory glance, and tell her how good it looks. Little things like this have saved me time and time again.
But besides living with a girl, I'm also living with a couple. Living with Jordan... and therefore Sara... in no way shape or form counted, she was an uninvited guest, where as Anthony and Ruth, yah know, are my roomies. They make me quite uncomfortable from time to time, and revel in that fact. I'm getting better though. I still don't do well with the PDA that constantly is infront of me.
Um... lets see, I've come the closest to a date with a girl as of yet. I had a thing for one of my co-workers, Eliza. This cool Polish chick, it just sorta happened. In the end of July we started hanging out on a weekly basis, seeing movies and such, by the beginning of September we were hanging out every few nights, going to bars, and other friend/co-workers places. It was interesting, for one of the first times I decided to actually keep up the friendship with a girl I liked, rather than treating her like she had some from of contagious disease. (She's gone now by the way, on some long roadtrip with her roomies, and then, probably, going back to Poland soon after her return.)
I guess this is for the best. In my pussyness I never made a move on her, mainly because I knew she'd be leaving for Poland in all likelihood. According to one of her closest girlfriends even had she liked me in a more than friendly way, nothing would have happened because she didn't want a relationship, seeing as she was returning to Poland. I guess it was good, gave me a few months of having a really good friend, a semblance of a life again, and now she can just get tacked onto the relatively small list of girls I've had crushes on. Even if she does come back I'm not certain I'd be able to face her, Sabrina, her girlfriend/my friend, told me how obvious my infatuation was, so she had to know. That mortifies me. Normally I'm better at concealing those feelings.
But yeah, so now life is pretty much back to normal. I've got school, which is really not challenging in the slightest this semester, and work, where they keep cutting my hours. I think they want me to quit. But I refuse to until I have another job lined up, and I don't want any retail shit. I'm hoping to get into a backstage workers union that, of all people, Eliza turned me onto. If I were to get in I'd basically be loading and unloading shit at events all over the city, and getting payed $30 and hour to do so. It'd be nice, of course it wouldn't fill in the huge amounts of time I have free.
So what am I doing with my free time these days? Well reading. I've read alot, and I've sorta expanded my horizons, I know for the last few years all anyones seen me with is Pulp Fantasy stuff. It's entertaining, but not much else. So I'm spreading out. Currently one of my projects is to figure out what I believe in exactly. Spiritually that is. It's funny that I'm writing this as I'm in the middle of the Yom Kipper fast, because currently I'm reading The God Delusion. Much of what it's saying makes sense to me. I'm definitely not Agnostic. I'm also not really a jew. Even in fasting for Yom Kipper, my reasons are my own, I decided that its good to take a day, and not eat, reflect upon the things you did in the last year, and what you don't want to repeat. I don't believe that god is going to wipe the slate clean for me, like the "holiday" says he will, because I don't think I believe in a god. It just doesn't make sense to me. But I also don't think I'm truly an atheist, from what I see, yes, they believe there is no god, but they don't believe in the occult either, and I'm becoming more intrigued by that as well.
My brother has his meditation, thats where his searching has brought him, I like the idea, I know some exercises, but its never seized me the way it has him. For me, after over a year of working with this chick Ana, and having many long discussions about Astrology, crystal reading, tarot, and the like I've decided to look into that area a bit more seriously. I don't know that anything will come of it but I just convinced myself to purchase a Thoth Tarot deck, and 3 different books on the interpretation and ideas behind the cards. I figure this could be an interesting and new area to study a bit. Again, I'm not sure I know what I'm hoping to get out of this, but it should be interesting.
So yeah, besides trying to "find myself", I guess you could say, and reading, my massive amounts of extra time is filled with watching DVDs and online poker. The DVDs are courtesy of Anthony. He has far too many, and its made me quite entertained. As far as poker goes, I'm getting better. I now tend to only enter one large tourney a night. I tend to play for between 3 and 6 hours, and I tend to make in the money. Just nothing worth writing about. I'm always right on the brink. If I buy in for 10 I get 27 back, if I buy in for 25 I get 40... but if I could just make it a little further, then I'd get some real money. I'm just afraid if I change up my strategy too much, I'll stop cashing, rather than cashing for more...
Well looking at my life, I think I would have to agree with Anthony's assessment of earlier today. I need to get laid. But thats just not going to happen. My crushes don't really happen all that often, and Eliza's gone. I'm not gonna go out a buy some time with a woman, so yeah... too bad I guess. Maybe once I know how to read the Tarot cards they'll tell me if I was a fuckin moron or not
This sure went on longer than I anticipated. Time to put in some 30 Rock.
~Live in interesting times