the last day of jubilee.
first, let me state that i wish i could stop thinking for a while.
now, to get on with it. i graduated today. it's over. it's anticlimactic now, sitting in my room, waiting for my friends to be available. you see, i'm not going to prom. because i've realized how much i hate excessively large crowds. i'm more of a small group kind of guy. and if i go, what good will come? I'm tempted to take a risk, but there's nothing there for me. If there is one reason to go there, she will be drunk. The one regret, the only regret that comes to mind from high school is not being able to be hers, or that she never wanted to be mine {enough).
but i'm thinking, excessively, again.
i'm leaving everything behind, if only for a few months.
it's silly to love or hate her. i'll just be.
the speeches in graduation today were good. most of them, anyway. epiphanic even. i'd summarize them with these two words: risks and passion. (if it's about risks, then why not go to prom? i dont know. i'm too experienced.)
one of them said that you should never allow yourself to be jealous. don't check to see if your ahead of this guy, or behind the other guy. it's not a race. all that matters is yourself.
so fuck everyone else. simply, and with no hard feelings.
to those of you who i never said good bye to, good bye. i'm sorry for not searching you out for one last farewell, but you didn't search me out either.
to those of you who really matter, i will say good bye to. i actually can't think of many. because i dont find a need to hang on. i'll soon be saying hi.
i'm worried about one good bye in particular. because for that good bye, it might not be an ellipsis, like with others, it might actually be a period. And though the sentence before the period (or paragraph, more like it) might have been a bit of a fragment, it's a good sentence. In the end, i'll look back at it and smile. and that sentence knows who she is.
enough of this treacle nonsense. give me a memory.
now, to get on with it. i graduated today. it's over. it's anticlimactic now, sitting in my room, waiting for my friends to be available. you see, i'm not going to prom. because i've realized how much i hate excessively large crowds. i'm more of a small group kind of guy. and if i go, what good will come? I'm tempted to take a risk, but there's nothing there for me. If there is one reason to go there, she will be drunk. The one regret, the only regret that comes to mind from high school is not being able to be hers, or that she never wanted to be mine {enough).
but i'm thinking, excessively, again.
i'm leaving everything behind, if only for a few months.
it's silly to love or hate her. i'll just be.
the speeches in graduation today were good. most of them, anyway. epiphanic even. i'd summarize them with these two words: risks and passion. (if it's about risks, then why not go to prom? i dont know. i'm too experienced.)
one of them said that you should never allow yourself to be jealous. don't check to see if your ahead of this guy, or behind the other guy. it's not a race. all that matters is yourself.
so fuck everyone else. simply, and with no hard feelings.
to those of you who i never said good bye to, good bye. i'm sorry for not searching you out for one last farewell, but you didn't search me out either.
to those of you who really matter, i will say good bye to. i actually can't think of many. because i dont find a need to hang on. i'll soon be saying hi.
i'm worried about one good bye in particular. because for that good bye, it might not be an ellipsis, like with others, it might actually be a period. And though the sentence before the period (or paragraph, more like it) might have been a bit of a fragment, it's a good sentence. In the end, i'll look back at it and smile. and that sentence knows who she is.
enough of this treacle nonsense. give me a memory.